SAHM's - Did you always know ...

[Miss Kelly]

To All Stay At Home Moms -

Did you always know that you wanted to Stay at Home with your kids?

As silly as it seems, I've always known that I wanted to stay at home with my kids (and/or be a house wife). In a way, I feel that this is what I am suppose to do with my life. I went to college and earned my degree, but I really don't know what I want to do with it. I want to be settled and start a family. It's just like I'm waiting for my life to start.

 

[kbkids]

I didn't until I got married. After then, I really just started longing to be a housewife. When I got pregnant, even then, we didn't intend for me to stay home because we thought we couldn't afford it, but fate stepped in, and I had a little preemie that couldn't have gone to daycare anyway. So, I had no choice. After a few months, we realized we could do it, and I've been home ever since. After my second was born, I started working out of the house a few hours a week (medical transcription) to help with the bills, but I don't see me ever working outside of the home again. You never know, but it's been 8 1/2 years, and I'm still happy with my decision.

 

[damo]

I did and my husband and I always planned that we would do it that way. I felt exactly the way you do and it all played out for me!

 

[mariolatry]

I didn't even plan on having kids until last year!

I told my DH when we got married that I didn't want kids. He said "Whatever you want is fine with me." I had a degree and a career, and that was it. Well,I grew and changed and decided that a child felt right to me. Once I had her, I was committed to breast-feeding as long as possible and I don't think I'd be able to do it if I went back to work (I can't pump very well).

Plus, where I live, day care is pretty darn expensive. I work half-days 4 or 5 times a month when DH or DM can stay with the baby.

 

[mrsv98]

I knew that I couldn't put DD in daycare. I was an "older" mom, 35 when DD was born. I had already been working for years and years adn frankly was ready for a break. Not the being a SAHM is easy, but it is right for me.

It was a bit different for DH. He had only thought of the situation from the perspective of a childless man who had to cover for women who left. Then DD was born and he did a 180 and really wanted me to stay home. We are very fortunate that we can afford for me to stay home. I may get a part -time job next year when DD is in 1st grade, but not full-time.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Not really, but then again I spent too many years working in day cares, summer camps and other places where kids were with me 8 hours a day, often they arived before I did, and left after. Some as many as 11 hours a day there. After "rasing" other peoples kids, I knew I could never to that to my kids. (at least those long hours.)

I also worked hard for my career and educaiton, but had a feeling that after pluging away at 16 years (college and working) I would rather be at home with my kids. I worked part time for a while and that worked out very well (at the job I had before having children.)

My mom stayed at home with us, as did DH's. That helps.

My inlaws gave me a hard time about working part time after my 1st was born (after 4 month maternity leave, I worked 3 days a week, and one of them DH stayed with the child.) When I got laid off and decied to stay home (and was pregnant with my 2nd) they were then worried how we were going to pay for things, (for no reason, DH makes a fine living.) You can't have it both ways.


I love being at home now, I am not sure if I continue to be a SAHM after they are both in school. I would like to only work part time in the future if at all possible though.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

In one word...NO! For several years before having my firstborn I've known I wanted to be a SAHM, but before that I didn't want to be and as a matter of fact I had a serious boyfriend before my DH and he was upfront about wanting a SAHM for a wife and I told him that it wasn't something that I probably wanted. The ironic thing is that years later he looked me up and called me--we were both married with children at that point, living in the same state, halfway across the country from the state we both grew up in. I was a SAHM and his wife was a working mom.

But I've been a SAHM now for over 18 years and it's been a wonderful decision for our family.

 

[Miss Kelly]

I did and my husband and I always planned that we would do it that way. I felt exactly the way you do and it all played out for me!

Prayers and Pixie Dust that it works out that way for me too.

 

[cats mom]

Nope - it was actually the furthest thing from my mind.

I remember I had a communications class in college where we were all assigned different groups and had to analyze if/how the media played to them.
I couldn't believe it when I was stuck with stay at home parents. I felt it was the group I could least relate to and didn't think I ever would.

Funny that's exactly where I ended up.

I don't regret the decision for a second though.

 

[MommytoMJM]

I didn't think I would ever have a child, but when I turned 30 I decided I wanted a baby, so my DH and I adopted MJ. I knew if I ever had kids I would want to stay home with them and homeschool them too. As it turns out, MJ is disabled and I was diagnosed as disabled when she was 8.5 months old, it worked out that I would have been home anyway, so it is a good thing that is what I wanted. I can't imagine sending her to daycare or school for that matter. I owned a computer software training firm and sold it all when we adopted her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Heck no! I didn't even think I would have kids!!! My older dd was born a premie and need open heart surgery. She was a very sick baby. It was frightening.

Well it quickly woke dh & I up to what was important and also when the surgeon came by to give us his nod, he said to me please do not put her in daycare for 3 years. She was very fragile.

Well that pretty much changed the course of my life.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No I didn't. In fact left maternity leave early and went back to work. About 6 weeks later changed my mind.

Mostly--didn't believe we could live on one income. Then I made a $1 hour and a whole bunch of stuff happened with work and childcare...then I realized....we could live without that $160 per month.

 

[TheRatPack]

I really think that society has changed though and it's putting value on a family again. Not just a man/woman/child family but a stable environment for a child to grow and learn from.

I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. I never planned the wedding or dreamed of "mr right" when I was younger but I did dream of having a child and wanted to be the mom who made cupcakes for the class, and made big deals out of birthday parties...etc. I enjoy playing the part of mom, and all it includes and I think in my situation that my kids are better for having me around. I know I was better for having my grandparents around to raise me.

I do think different strokes for different folks though. I have some friends and family members that work 9-5 all week and that is truly what they want to do. The kids are fine, and the parents are happy with the arrangement. Just wouldn't fulfull my calling though

 

[Miss Kelly]

I really think that society has changed though and it's putting value on a family again. Not just a man/woman/child family but a stable environment for a child to grow and learn from.

I knew I wanted to be a SAHM. I never planned the wedding or dreamed of "mr right" when I was younger but I did dream of having a child and wanted to be the mom who made cupcakes for the class, and made big deals out of birthday parties...etc. I enjoy playing the part of mom, and all it includes and I think in my situation that my kids are better for having me around. I know I was better for having my grandparents around to raise me.

I feel the same way.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I knew. I got married shortly after graduating college (I knew I wanted that degree, too!) and pretty much went through the motions of being in the workforce until I finally had my son 3 years later (after a miscarriage.) I don't think my husband and I even discussed it much, we both were in agreement about it from the start.

I do wonder, though, if I hadn't been in a committed relationship so young, if I would have felt the same .

 

[punkin]

No. I didn't.

With 1st DD, my mother helped out so child cae was not an issue. Unfortunately, I could not the same level of child care for DD2 (my mother had died a year before she was born). So I had a VERY stressful job with a lot of responsibility, a grief stricken 6 year old and brand new baby at home and revolving door nannies. I decided my children were more important than my career (my DH still thought his carrer was more important) and quit.

I regret ruining my career, but not having the time with my children. I just wish I had other child care options at the time so that maybe I could have kept working.

 

[rileyroosmom]

I always knew I would stay home with my kids. I've been home now for 13 years and my youngest will be entering kindergarten this August Don't know what I'm going to do with myself when she's gone, but I know I'm taking a year off. I'm fortunate that I don't have to work, but if I brought in some extra money it couldn't hurt. Trouble is, not having worked in so long what am I qualified to do I'm in a sad place in my life now, feel like my job is over.
Good luck to all you young and new SAHM. As I'm sure you've heard, enjoy it - time passes too quickly.

 

[Serena]

I didn't plan for it, but financially we couldn't afford anything else. But believe me it got old.

 

[TheRatPack]

Brings up another point. Everyone used to assume that SAHM's were barefoot and pregnant women with little or no education who stayed home at the mans request.

I've met so many nice ladies at the playgrounds and other places that are highly educated women, who just prioritized things differently.

I went to college and still take classes here and there to keep myself out in the world of adults. I also work part time during the day now that both of them are in school.

 

[Sleeping~Beauty]

I always knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I have my college degree in a double major, and still knew eventually that I would be a mother. It was just my calling.

I was a teacher and I worked in daycare centers, and everything I saw and learned, it was just so sad, and that only reinforced what I wanted to do for my children.

Also, both DH's mom and my mom were SAHM's when we were growing up. I just felt that why would I have children and then not be the one to raise them.