Sahm

[punkin]

I regret leaving my job only because it is just so hard to get back into the workforce now that I am 43 with no real recent experience. I do not regret the time I had to spend with my girls. The older one was very needy (and to an extent she still is even though she's in college away from home), but DD12 is very independent and just does not need me as much. I would love to go back to work, but my career is completely shot. No one will hire me with a 12 year experience gap.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I am a SAHM. I have had small part-time jobs on occasion, but in all ways am a SAHM.

My son will be 14 next week (yikes!) and I agree that the older they get, the more you need to be there for them. People always told me that, and I never was really sure if they knew what they were talking about. But they do!!

My son is super busy - stays after school 2x/week for help in Algebra, guitar lessons 1x/week, plays basketball & is in track at school, and is always off to the YMCA on weekends for recreation or dances/teen nights. Plus, he is very active in the school travel club, and I am a chaperone for most of the trips. Trying to juggle all of that while having a part time job would be hard.

I even considered working seasonal this holiday season, but after I added up all of the travel club meetings, field trips, school concerts (he is in a percussion group at school too), and everything, I realized that I would be asking for so many days off that it would defeat the purpose of trying to get a part time job. Ya know?

I figure I will go back to work, part time, after he is out of high school. Or maybe not? DH has a good job, and I am able to stay home with no affect on our monthly income. I get bored at times, but for the most part, I am content being home.

 

[lemondog]

I am a SAHM. My kids are 9 (4th grade) and 6yo twins (1st grade). I worked full time as an advertising copywriter until the day my twins were born, stayed home with all three for 18 months, about went crazy, and started teaching 3 days per week at my kids' preschool. Taught there through the end of last school year, and now stay at home. I do still sub at the preschool where I taught, and now I also sub at my kids' school (K-8). It's the perfect situation for me...I can control my work schedule, still get out of the house, but leaves me plenty of time to volunteer at the girls' school, do things around the house, etc. I feel very blessed I am able to do this at this point in my life. I know as my girls get older and start high school I will have to go back to work full time...we want to send them to the all-girl private school I attended and it's extremely pricey. I know I will be going back to work for a good reason!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am 44 and am currently taking Anantomy & Physiology to boost my chances of getting into Ultrasound school next Sept. The schools are competitive and my chances are slim but I'm trying anyway.

If you want to go back to school - DO IT. I went back and forth for a long time - thinking I was too old, but then I thought, well, if I succeed and start this career at 47 I can still put in at least 20 years! I can be a role model for my kids and to boot my husband has MS so there's always that "what if his health declines" hanging over our heads. It would remove a lot of stress to know I could support the family if I had to.

Life is short - if you have a dream - make it happen.

Thanks for the boost. I mean I am ready, good health, happy, and open to work. I guess it really sucks when you start writing your resume and then listing references and then you feel like crap about it.

You are right. I have got to take a few classes in order to get a job that I want for the long haul.

My youngest will have her driver's license in 2yrs and I will be 100% free.

 

[Momvic5]

I have been a SAHM for 14 yrs now too. My kids are 14, 11, and 9 yrs old. My oldest is a freshman in high school, and I am homeschooling my younger two so my days are really busy. I do not plan on going back to work anytime soon as I will probably stay home until my kids have graduated from high school, but lately, I have been wondering what I will do when they are gone. I have a teaching degree with certifications in math and reading, but at this point in my life, I know I do not want to teach in a formal setting. I truly don't know what I would like to do. My dh is not any help...he says that when that time comes, I will be ready to enjoy having some freedom and time to myself. Financially, we are doing well, but we will always be able to use the extra cash. I don't know....I am hoping that one day soon, I will have a revelation as to what I would like to do because I know whatever it is, it is going to take a little time for me to find the courage to take it on.

 

[Colleen27]

My kids are 12 (13 next month! ), 9, and 2. I've been a SAHM since DH proposed, 11 years ago, and barring any unexpected financial changes I don't really have any plans to go back to work at all. I like being home to putter around the house, tend my gardens, sew, volunteer, and manage the office side of DH's business, and we have enough demands on our time without adding a second career into the mix.

My previous career was in the IT field, back when it was booming. To be honest, I chose it because it was a quicker way to good money, and as a single mom that mattered more than personal fulfillment. After this many years away and with only a 2 year degree and several lapsed certifications, I'd be starting at the bottom again and since I didn't love it to begin with, I don't have any desire to do that.

I would eventually like to go back to school and finish the degree I've always wanted, and I did the first two years while we just had the older kids who were in school all day, but whether or not I finish when the baby starts school is going to depend mainly on finances - I can't justify 5-figure student loan debt for a degree that I don't plan to use in the workforce, so right now the idea is on hold.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I have a paralegal degree and Much to my Fathers Chagrin haven't worked in 20 years at it. And honestly have zero desire to ever go back.
I have 4 kids, 23,16, and ten year old twins. When The littlest were in Kindergarten full day I volunteered alot.. ANd alot and Alot. Then a little recess monitor job opened up. Less than 3 hours a day a 100 bucks a week Burger Kinf Money as far as I am concerned. LOL

However I have found that I love it. it's Just enough... I get my fix of cuties all day and honestly. Can See myself at this job till my kids have kids then I will offer them free daycare. (if the parents choose to go back to work.)
I found something I love without putting my kids our my house on the back burner. It's a perfect compromise for me. If you don't "need" The money consider that a boosn and find something you enjoy and do it!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thanks for the boost. I mean I am ready, good health, happy, and open to work. I guess it really sucks when you start writing your resume and then listing references and then you feel like crap about it.

You are right. I have got to take a few classes in order to get a job that I want for the long haul.

My youngest will have her driver's license in 2yrs and I will be 100% free.

Go for it! I found school to be much much easier the second time around.

 

[cepmom]

I left the work force when DD13 was born. I picked up some part time work about 5 years ago (retail) and now I work a different part time job that I enjoy, but it will not be a rest of my life job you know? The money was really nice to fund our Disney trips and now, to pay for DD's college tuition. Two more DD's heading off to college in the not to distant future so I need to work to help pay for that

I am back in school now part time(hoping to get into Radiologic Technologist program) I don't regret for a minute being home with my kids, but as another poster said, I wish I went back to school earlier....I'd be done by now! But my DH's job requires a lot of travel which is hard to plan around so I guess things work out the way they should in the end

 

[skater]

I'm in the same boat! This thread came at the perfect time for me. I have a college degree but have been working part-time in retail because it was a small business and they were very flexible with me. Now the store is closing and I've really been thinking about what I want to be when I grow up . I'm scared to be honest. I was successful in my career, but I'm just not sure I can do it anymore . I'm thinking about some classes to boost my confidence. I'm not totally done raising kids, but I can feel it coming to a close and want to be ready - I think I'll go crazy if my kids leave and I have nothing!

 

[C.Ann]

If there's not a financial "need", that really opens up your options..

You could go back to school - if you have a career in mind..

Think about something you "love" - and try to find a position in that field.. Books? A book store.. Crafts? A craft store.. Kids? Sub in a school cafeteria or as an aide on a handicapped bus..

Don't want to be too tied down? Volunteer for an organization that holds a special place in your heart.. You would be getting out of the house, still have a flexible schedule, and it would really make you feel good about yourself - that you're making a "difference"..

I think you have lots of options since money isn't really the motivating factor, so take your time - and maybe even try a few things on for "size" - to see if it's a good fit for you..

Best of luck with your decision..

 

[scrapquitler]

I am 43, and I have a 14 year old and a 7 year old. I quit working when I was pregnant with my oldest, and didn't work at all until about 1 1/2 years ago when I got a very part time job (16 hours every other weekend). I love that job, and I worked it for a little over a year, but honestly, it was NOT working for my DH and children, even those few hours. My children and husband were unhappy, and that made me unhappy. I talked to my supervisor and scaled back my hours even more: now I work as a per diem substitute in the same location as my every other weekend job (in a group home). At this point, I have to work 45 hours per calendar quarter, but I can choose whether to work or not when they call me. So far, that is working out even better than the every other weekend.

Honestly, if your kids are getting older, you might find that the kids need you home even more than when they were so little. At least that has been the case in my house. We have found that the family time is precious and hard to come by with all the kids activities, and having me go off to work when it isn't absolutely necessary financially really cuts into that precious time for us.

 

[Denine]

I am mostly a SAHM. I have an 8 yo dd that I homeschool. I am also an RN. I try to work every Friday, but it depends on what they give me. This month I only have 1 day.

 

[tink_lover]

This has been interesting as I have been thinking about transitioning out of my job for some time now. I agree with the previous posters about life getting busier as the kids get older. Right now dh and I are taking the Financial Peace classes at our church. A serious questions for the SAHM is this - do you worry about retirement and having enough money to live on? What about college costs for the kids? Those are my two really big worries as I'm contemplated changing direction in my career.

 

[scrapquitler]

This has been interesting as I have been thinking about transitioning out of my job for some time now. I agree with the previous posters about life getting busier as the kids get older. Right now dh and I are taking the Financial Peace classes at our church. A serious questions for the SAHM is this - do you worry about retirement and having enough money to live on? What about college costs for the kids? Those are my two really big worries as I'm contemplated changing direction in my career.

I'm not particulary worried about either. We've been putting money into retirement every year for 20 years, and will continue to do so. We also have a plan for college (which involves community college for two years and state university after that) and we think that we can pay for that mostly out of pocket without issues (our mortgage will be paid off by then). DH says he's never going to retire.

 

[Sorsha]

I am mostly a SAHM, but we do need for me to bring in some money, so I work retail crazy2 evenings and weekends. I am 38.

It has always been important to us that either myself or my DH be here with our kids when they were little (no daycare), and once they started school, when they got on and off the bus. Since our kids were spaced so far apart age-wise, that means I have been a SAHM for about 16 years. Now that everyone is in school full time, I could work during the day, but I have had ZERO luck finding a job that would let me work only during school hours, so, evenings and weekends it is for now.

Of course, life in the retail world - JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts - means that during our busy seasons, I see my husband precisely never. At the end of any major holiday season we look at eachother and say "Hello there, do I know you?" Also means I am VERY tired. Last night, for example, I got home at 11:00 - was prepping the store for a big sale this weekend, and still trying to clean up from the big Black Friday sale last weekend (looks like a Nuclear Bomb went off in the floral department). Decompressed from work a little, cleaned up, was in bed a little before midnight. The alarm went off at 5 AM. DH has to leave for work at 6, I have to start getting kids up and ready for school at 6:15. Yeah, that's 5 hours of sleep. And I will be back at JoAnn's again tonight, probably till 11 again. I need IV coffee.

I dream of being able to go back to school someday... just not entirely sure what I would like to do... nothing having to do with small children or retail, those two things I am sure of!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

This has been interesting as I have been thinking about transitioning out of my job for some time now. I agree with the previous posters about life getting busier as the kids get older. Right now dh and I are taking the Financial Peace classes at our church. A serious questions for the SAHM is this - do you worry about retirement and having enough money to live on? What about college costs for the kids? Those are my two really big worries as I'm contemplated changing direction in my career.

Already living the college problem.

My dd is a college sophmore and we have to take out a Parent Plus loan to help her pay for school. We are going into debt. Now it is not huge but it is not the direction we want to go at our age of closing in on 50. It is a small state school.

My 14yodd is very motivated to get a free ride somewhere or at least scholarship money and merit aid. She is the opposite of my oldest. Plus she "lived" what older dd went thru with the college process so she is well versed already and already has her major picked out (for now). She wants Communications and Business Marketing double major. She has already taking the SAT and is going to be taking the ACT again this yr. She took it last yr in 7th grade thru DUKETIP.

I understand that she is unique with her goals however it is no different than someone who plans to be a teacher, doctor, nurse, etc. You need to know that going into college right away.

So I can say a large part of the college worries depends on your kid, really. My older dd struggles with what to do and my youngest wants to go to college tomorrow.

 

[brockash]

I'm a SAHM right now as well, and honestly I wish I had my old life back. I know it sounds bad, but I'm just not good at it (mentally.) I also got married really young and my DH is in the military and I feel like I let that end any kind of real career for me, which was really dumb, but with him never being around and having to move every few years, my stuff is always on the back burner. Even with that though, we had been living in a city that my mom lived in and I had a good support system and had a job I really loved (paralegal at our D.A.'s office.) I was happy, and balanced. I was able to work full time, but it was still pretty flexible and always attended any school things my kids had ect., and was home by a decent time. With my kids sports and stuff it was busy, but I'm a much better person when I have a busy schedule, then one with a lot of "free" time. We moved about a year and a half ago, and we decided that I'd stay home with our then 2 year old dd, and be home for my ds that's in school. While, I really do love that my dd doesn't have to go to daycare, and I love spending time with her and being able to spend a lot more time at my son's school; I really feel pretty worthless. I need to go back to school too(have an associates,) but again we'll be moving in the next cpl. months, so that will have to wait, but I'm looking forward to hopefully getting back to having somewhat of a career in the near future. I agree with the pp that if you can go back to school NOW. I've been counting up the time it would take and how old I would be when I graduated with a B.A. for years now. If I could do it all over, I would have never left school, and finished my B.A. and gone on to law school, but with almost a decade that has passed, law school seems totally out as an option, but I think at a min. I need to get a B.A. I'd go now, even if you can only do a few classes to start, and get it done with.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I have been a sahm for almost 3 years. My sons are 8 and 11. I had a career that I really loved, and we were surrounded by family who were there to help with child care after school for our sons. But when we moved to another state, I had to quit working. We have no family here, my kids are special needs and after school care would be a real issue for us. So, when we moved, dh and I decided that I should not work for a few years.

To be honest, I do not like it all of the time. The first year being a sahm was pretty bad. But I settled into a routine and have found things to do to keep me busy. I try to keep busy by cleaning, bible study, taking a course on line, etc. And once the kids get out of school, things get pretty busy for me. There are always appointments or some activity to take them to. I understand that me being availalbe for the kids is very important for our family. So when I get bored or unhappy about being home, I try to remember that it is what is best for our family.

I have a college degree and worked as a university advisor for 10 years. I'd love to go back to that at some point.

 

[LuLuO]

I am a SAHM. My kids are 3 and almost 2. I didn't really have a career when I stopped working, it was just a job. I haven't finished college and I'm not sure if I ever will. I only have a few classes left but it is in a degree of study that isn't practical for me now, but school is an option I guess.

When the time comes, I have no idea what I'm going to do about work but when the kids are in full day school, I will have to get at least a part time job somewhere to bring in some extra money. DH will be retiring from the Reserves in a few years and our income is going to drop. I could always try to persuade him to stay in but he is ready to be done.

That said, I too think it is very important for me to be home when they get home from school and to be available for class trips, sports and other things. So, for me things are very up in the air because I'm not sure what kind of job I could get that would fit my needs.

If you don't have to make money, why not try volunteering? That would get you out of the house and provide personal fullfillment.