Sahm

[mariolatry]

Food for thought. If you go back when your youngest is in 1st grade (which is what a lot of Mom's say they will do) you still have to be home for them if they are sick, have a snow day etc...

Everyone has to do what is best for you and your family. For me, I didn't go back to work until my youngest was 10 in 4th grade. This way if she was home due to a minor illness (pink eye, strep, slight fever) she COULD stay home by herself for the 4 hours I worked Major illness high fever, vomitting etc.. I still stay home with them regardless of age.

Sorry, I wasn't very clear in what I was saying. I would not consider going back AT ALL until my younger DD was in first grade however, even then, I don't know what I would do in those situations as I would be solely responsible. My mom was a working single mother and I stayed by myself all the time because I had to. She couldn't miss work. Most of my childhood memories involve being alone and unsupervised. Thank God I was a good kid because I could've gotten into a lot of trouble!

I am starting to field requests from friends and neighbors who have returned to work, when they need childcare in those situations, as well as picking kids up from the bus stop. I guess there has to be a back-up person in the neighborhood, it might as well be me!

 

[kacaju]

I am starting to field requests from friends and neighbors who have returned to work, when they need childcare in those situations, as well as picking kids up from the bus stop. I guess there has to be a back-up person in the neighborhood, it might as well be me!

And there is nothing wrong with charging for your service either. You could make some money by being there for your friends who are working!!

 

[VAfamily1998]

It's a tough decision. I see other SAHMs in my circle of officer's wives (I live on a military base) and they say they wouldn't have it any other way since being an OW is a job in itself. Well I don't have to worry about that yet since I'm not even pregnant yet (but hoping to be in a few weeks!!!!).

I've been the wife of a Marine officer for over 12 years, and it's really not "a job in itself"...at all!


You can CHOOSE to volunteer at a lot, head up certain things like Key Volunteers, etc. but gone are the days when your husband's fit rep actually had a category where he was critiqued on his wife! Thank heavens!

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

I've been the wife of a Marine officer for over 12 years, and it's really not "a job in itself"...at all!


You can CHOOSE to volunteer at a lot, head up certain things like Key Volunteers, etc. but gone are the days when your husband's fit rep actually had a category where he was critiqued on his wife! Thank heavens!

LOL Yes I've heard the stories where the wife was pressured to always look her best, to be on volunteer committees, to represent her husband in a good way at all times etc. Well the last one is still sorta true. Anyway I'm glad to hear from an ow that says it's not a job in itself!

 

[VAfamily1998]

LOL Yes I've heard the stories where the wife was pressured to always look her best, to be on volunteer committees, to represent her husband in a good way at all times etc. Well the last one is still sorta true. Anyway I'm glad to hear from an ow that says it's not a job in itself!

Is your husband at Quantico for TBS? I didn't marry my husband 'till he was already in a few years, so I didn't get to experience that. From what I heard, it's very social for the wives and there are lots of activities/parties/get togethers then, including a tea with the Commandants wife!

Once he get's into "the fleet" though, it won't be quite as active. Usually the CO's wife will set the tone for how active it is--when Dh and I were first married, the Battalion CO's wife didn't really organize many activities for the wives. A few years later, under a different CO, it was much different. She organized many things including montly coffees, a bunko group that met at a different wife's house each month, etc. She was also the KV coordinator and I was one of the company KVCs, so I had my "wife role" at these things about 3 evenings per month, on average--then the occasional party like at Christmas or during the summer...

The unit Dh is with now (at Quantico) is sooooo different! I don't think there is any type of KV unit. The Christmas parties each year is held on a weekday, during the workday...most of Dh's co-workers are actually civilians...we live off base and I hardly EVER go on base--maybe 2 or 3 times per year, at the most!
I have no idea who is "CO" is (his immediate boss is a civilian) or if he has a wife or....?

I have to admit, I really miss "the fleet" and especially the social opportunities under that one CO's wife

 

[deegack]

When DD got very ill last winter/spring I unexpectedly because a SAHM. If you asked me even 2 years ago if I would stay home past my maternity leave I would have laughed at you. Now we are trying for number 2 and we will see what happens.
I do volunteer for the town budget committee and have secured a part-time work from home job with my old employer. So dd will actually head back to day care for 3 part time days while I work at home. I figure this way if she does get sick again, I have some flexibility.

Eventually I will go back to work, probably. When is a tricky question.

I will say for those thinking about a new career, I would stay away from paralegal. I am an atty and was responsible for hiring 2 paralegals shortly before I left. I had about 300-400 resumes for each position. People with tons of experience. Its really tough out there right now.

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

Is your husband at Quantico for TBS? I didn't marry my husband 'till he was already in a few years, so I didn't get to experience that. From what I heard, it's very social for the wives and there are lots of activities/parties/get togethers then, including a tea with the Commandants wife!

My husband completed TBS and it was crazy. He was constantly busy, tired, studying, dirty, well you know. There are lots of events to get the wives together and I really enjoy the camaraderie. DH won't let me post the name of our CO but his wife is really nice and she funny because she said the only thing she expects from the wives is to make sure we always have coffee and tea in the house! The new thing now is when there's a new ow, we all chip in and buy her a Keurig (sp) coffee machine with lots of flavors. lol

This is all still new to me, we're still newlyweds and I'm still learning the ropes. But I have to say I love being an ow.

 

[Budraw]

 

[Iott Family]

I am a SAHM to our 4 children. Our youngest is 4 and our oldest is a 9th grader. I enjoy knowing its me who provides the daily care for our children. That they are being raised with our value system and not a daycare providers. Not knocking the daycare folks, just prefer it this way!

I have been home for the last 9 years. I do wonder who i will be when the kids no longer need me but for now we will tackle the laundry monster, endless running of errands and after school activities! Live in the moment and tomorrwo will take care of itself

 

[LuvOrlando]

What in the Wild Wild West is this?

 

[Amy&Dan]

What an interesting thread!

Stay at home mom here for the last 16 years. It was what I had always wanted and when I met my husband and we got engaged we had it worked out that when the kiddies came, I would stay at home if at all possible and that once the kids got into the teen years, I'd go back to work to ensure we'd be okay for college and retirment. That last part has turned out to be way more complicated than I thought I am seriously wondering if I'll ever find a job that I can get, that I want to do, that will still give me the flexibility I want for myself, my husband, and my kids! I can't decide if I was really naive to think I'd be able to slip back into the workforce or if the current economy is just so bad its not possible right now but will be later on.

I have no regrets but do have to say in the last couple of years (my kids are 14 and 16) I do at times feel more isolated. Honestly, I feel like one minute I was surrounded by friends who all stayed home (lots of playdates, babysitting co-ops etc) and then suddenly it was like I was the only one left still home with the kids! I had several friends that went back to work and a couple that got divorced. But I started up some things at my church with volunteering and Bible Study and met some new SHAM friends which has helped me to feel connected to other women again.

I have thought about going back to work, we could certainly use the money, I even intereviewed for a job (didn't get it, the woman who interviewed me for her home based business couldn't seem to grasp I could handle going back to work) but in the end, jobs are scarce, especially for a woman who is 46, hasn't worked in 16 years (a few at home type things here and there but nothing resume worthy) and doesn't have a college degree.

I keep very busy for sure and in some ways, I feel like my kids need me more now than they did years ago. But for sure, there are times I wonder what might have been had I gone back to school or maybe kept working part time to keep myself in the work force. It is for sure that middle age thing where I think its just natural to spend some time looking back and wondering about the what if's and the what now's!

I'll also add that I spent over six years taking care of my mom during the last stages of her life (she had cancer and Alzheimers) and that all by itself was worth it in that once she got sick, I was easily able to step in and care for her. I see my sister in law in that same situation right now with her mom, but its and complicated beyond belief because my sil works full time.

I have no regrets and in the end feel like I have held my own as far as what I have contributed to society and my family. But like all things, I have my days where I feel a bit left out of life but I hear my working friends express the same type of emotions so I figure its all normal!

 

[mhsjax]

What an interesting thread!

Stay at home mom here for the last 16 years. It was what I had always wanted and when I met my husband and we got engaged we had it worked out that when the kiddies came, I would stay at home if at all possible and that once the kids got into the teen years, I'd go back to work to ensure we'd be okay for college and retirment. That last part has turned out to be way more complicated than I thought I am seriously wondering if I'll ever find a job that I can get, that I want to do, that will still give me the flexibility I want for myself, my husband, and my kids! I can't decide if I was really naive to think I'd be able to slip back into the workforce or if the current economy is just so bad its not possible right now but will be later on.

I have no regrets but do have to say in the last couple of years (my kids are 14 and 16) I do at times feel more isolated. Honestly, I feel like one minute I was surrounded by friends who all stayed home (lots of playdates, babysitting co-ops etc) and then suddenly it was like I was the only one left still home with the kids! I had several friends that went back to work and a couple that got divorced. But I started up some things at my church with volunteering and Bible Study and met some new SHAM friends which has helped me to feel connected to other women again.

I have thought about going back to work, we could certainly use the money, I even intereviewed for a job (didn't get it, the woman who interviewed me for her home based business couldn't seem to grasp I could handle going back to work) but in the end, jobs are scarce, especially for a woman who is 46, hasn't worked in 16 years (a few at home type things here and there but nothing resume worthy) and doesn't have a college degree.

I keep very busy for sure and in some ways, I feel like my kids need me more now than they did years ago. But for sure, there are times I wonder what might have been had I gone back to school or maybe kept working part time to keep myself in the work force. It is for sure that middle age thing where I think its just natural to spend some time looking back and wondering about the what if's and the what now's!

I'll also add that I spent over six years taking care of my mom during the last stages of her life (she had cancer and Alzheimers) and that all by itself was worth it in that once she got sick, I was easily able to step in and care for her. I see my sister in law in that same situation right now with her mom, but its and complicated beyond belief because my sil works full time.

I have no regrets and in the end feel like I have held my own as far as what I have contributed to society and my family. But like all things, I have my days where I feel a bit left out of life but I hear my working friends express the same type of emotions so I figure its all normal!

Wow, we must be the same person. lol

And yep all my friends that work, they say and I quote "This darn work thing, just sucks." I think no matter what you do, you always think you want something else, at least sometimes.