Sad Parenting Observation

[pat fan]

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.

OUCH! Not my DH, he'd be ALL over them if they didn't jump when I asked.

 

[delyrium]

I thought the satire was entirely prescient, in this case.

She could have just gotten a terminal diagnosis, and hadn't told the kids about it yet. Honestly, there are about a gazillion reasons as to why she didn't want to get into it with her kids right at that particular second, and none of them are any of your business.

 

[hereyago]

Take said beach ball, bop to their heads lol.

 

[EMom]

I know that the next to last words I wanted to hear from my mother's mouth (accompanied by one lifted eyebrow) were, "Don't make me have to tell you again." She never had to tell us again. The last words we wanted to hear were even more ominous. But they worked.

 

[Kalliope]

I think this about nails it!!!!

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.
​

Maybe in your house. Not ours.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Kids are self-centered. You have no idea whether she was tired, or there were difficult family circumstances (they may have been in town for a close relative's funeral, for all you know). For that matter, do you even know whether she was their mom? You have no idea where they were going, where they were coming from, and what her parenting is like outside of this static moment in time. You don't know whether the kids' dad has recently walked out on the family, and everyone is hanging on by a thread. You don't know if they were celebrating one of the kids being released from juvenile detention, or whether they're all circus performers taking some time off from the road.

http://www.theonion.com/article/single-woman-3-young-children-unaware-she-subject--51039

None of that matters. It's all just an excuse to dismiss bad behavior.

When an adult tells you do something, you do it. It doesn't matter if the were with their mom, aunt, nanny.... Whoever she may have been she was the adult responsible for them at that time. They shoul have got their butt up and did what they were told to do.

 

[sam_gordon]

I think this about nails it!!!!

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.
​

Do you have something against all males or just certain ones?

 

[declansdad]

I think this about nails it!!!!

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.
​

You really need to let it go.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I'm just amazed how many people are willing to make excuses for such poor behavior. If I tell my kids to do something, they do it. No questions asked. No ignoring. It's a simple thing called respect, something that's lacking way too much these days.

I can't think of a single acceptable excuse for this behavior--either the adult or the kids. Yes, maybe mom had a long day and didn't feel like fighting. Or was distracted about something else. Whatever. Chances are pretty good it's a pattern and the kids have learned they don't need to listen. If you want your kids to listen, you have to give them consequences when they don't. Simple concept. One that too many parents are willing to ignore.

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Me: "hey yall help carry stuff"
Them: "......"
Me: "did you hear me?"
Them: "....."
Me- I'd take said phone and pitch it as hard as could out into the lake, grab my knife and flatten the ball, throw it in the trash and probably switch a couple of rear-ends while I'm at it.

Then we would be reading a thread that went something like this, "I saw the most abusive thing today at the lake. I wonder if I should call Child Services...."

 

[FlightlessDuck]

 

[ELSA711]

I think it is a doubled edge sword
Mom is damned if she does or damned if she doesnt
If she addresses them in an even semi harsh tone in public she is lynched.

If it were me, I would have asked once. If there was no help or response I would have quietly packed the car with my stuff. Ball, phone, buckets, their chairs (any of their belongings) would have remained on the beach then once my kids were in the car I would have drove away.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

Then we would be reading a thread that went something like this, "I saw the most abusive thing today at the lake. I wonder if I should call Child Services...."

Oh, I don't doubt that someone would post a thread about it.

But, "I'll get over it"

 

[Anesthesia Fine]

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.
​

This kind of heat really does fall disproportionately on the mothers. When a dad does it, it tends to be "bless him, he's sure trying. It's nice to see a dad involved with his kids. Where's their mother, anyway? Why isn't she helping with this?"

 

[bdcp]

Kids have to know you mean it. We raised two boys and that wouldn't have flown in our house. When I (or DH) asked/told them to do something, they knew we meant it. But, of course, we followed through. It sounds like Mom has zero control over her kids because if she did, they would have at least had a response and not completely ignored her. Someone has to be the parent (and the adult).

 

[Wendy31]

This kind of heat really does fall disproportionately on the mothers. When a dad does it, it tends to be "bless him, he's sure trying. It's nice to see a dad involved with his kids. Where's their mother, anyway? Why isn't she helping with this?"

I think a lot of heat does sometimes fall disproportionately on the mothers. However, I think this is due to a lot of people thinking that most dads just "take up the oxygen in a room" anyway & everything either rises or falls w/ the mothers. If a person doesn't have very much respect for a dad or think very highly of the dad's so-called contribution, why shouldn't the responsibility for the outcome of the child fall onto the mother?

Regardless of the way some people think, a lot of dads are very involved w/ their children & are true partners w/ their wives.

I know because I'm married to one.

He's downstairs right now making 'smores brownies w/ the kids (because today is National 'Smores Day, of course), while I'm upstairs on the computer.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think this about nails it!!!!

And, Dad is the one standing aside, holding up the wall and taking up the oxygen in the room while mom has to take the heat.
​

Ouch -that was a global harshness on dads. There are a ton of good dads out there. I'll warrant a lot more good ones than not...

 

[Anesthesia Fine]

I think a lot of heat does sometimes fall disproportionately on the mothers. However, I think this is due to a lot of people thinking that most dads just "take up the oxygen in a room" anyway & everything either rises or falls w/ the mothers. If a person doesn't have very much respect for a dad or think very highly of the dad's so-called contribution, why shouldn't the responsibility for the outcome of the child fall onto the mother?

Regardless of the way some people think, a lot of dads are very involved w/ their children & are true partners w/ their wives.

I know because I'm married to one.

He's downstairs right now making 'smores brownies w/ the kids (because today is National 'Smores Day, of course), while I'm upstairs on the computer.

I made very sure that I did not bash active fathers in my statement, because yes, there are lot of good, involved parents everywhere. If we're tossing around anecdata like it's scientific or sociological proof: I'm married to one, too. But that doesn't negate the fact that if one of our kids acts up in public with him, the outside observer's reaction to how he deals with it is usually going to be markedly different than that same observer's reaction to how I would deal with it. That's all I meant.

 

[Planogirl]

Ouch -that was a global harshness on dads. There are a ton of good dads out there. I'll warrant a lot more good ones than not...

My Dad always meant business and I knew it. He would tell to do something with his quiet voice and I wouldn't waste time getting it done. My mother could rant and rave and I might hear something she said eventually.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

My neighborhood has a lake with a small beach within walking distance. But there are also half a dozen parking spaces.

Yesterday at the beach I observed a mom trying to get her three boys to help her load up her car so they could leave. Mom asked numerous times for help, and the boys completely ignored her every time. I'm guessing the boys were about 10, 8 and 5. 10 year old kept texting or playing on his phone while Mom loaded up the car. The two younger ones were bouncing a basketball on the paved parking area. It took Mom about 4 trips to bring the chairs, cooler, umbrella, beach toys, etc. back to the car. Then she loaded it all without any help.

"Emerson**, please go get the beach chairs." Totally ignored.
"Colton, can you bring the cooler back to the car?" Totally ignored.
"Brian, you left sand in this bucket. Please go rinse it out." Totally ignored.

Mom finally had enough and let the boys have it. "I'm very disappointed that you boys didn't help. We're not going to continue doing fun things like this if you don't help." That didn't phase the kids a bit.

Oh, please, Mom. It's obvious the kids know you're a pushover and they've been walking all over you for years. And you know damn well you'll be bringing the kids back to the lake next weekend or doing whatever they want.

Sad for everyone. Those kids are likely to be terrors when they reach their teens and Mom won't be able to do a thing about it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**(Wow, there actually IS someone named Emerson. I thought that thread here about the name was a gag. Emerson was my telephone number exchange when I was a kid. EMerson 5-5563.)

And if she had yelled at them and made a scene in the parking lot, we'd be seeing a post from someone else complaining about how she embarrassed the kids in public, she should have controlled her temper, etc.

Sometimes my kids listen or even do what they are supposed to without being asked. Sometimes they ignore me completely. They're kids.