S/O: Divorce... how to cut down?

[jalapeno_pretzel]

So nothing should be done to promote healthy, happy marriages?

I'd be in favor of eliminating the laws in 37 of the US states that permit children to marry. I think getting married as a child is a pretty sure setup to an unhealthy unhappy marriage. Did you know, once the child is married, they can't even file for divorce, because a minor can't initiate that legal proceeding? I bet a lot of us could get behind eliminating child marriage, even those of us that don't want the government interfering in marriages in general.

 

[kdonnel]

Your going to see an even bigger decline in the birth rate if this trend continues. We are already at historic lows below the replacement rate. Women have a biological clock and a small window of fertility.
You also need a stable birth rate to keep the economy going.

That will lower the divorce rate as well.

If there are fewer people, there will be fewer divorces!

Edited:
But I guess since the divorce rate is expressed as per 1000 woman, the rate won't necessarily drop if the population drops.

Plus you don't have to be married to have kids. Again that is just a societal rule looking down on single mothers in particular. The amount of judgement people endure from others is ridiculous.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Your going to see an even bigger decline in the birth rate if this trend continues. We are already at historic lows below the replacement rate. Women have a biological clock and a small window of fertility.
You also need a stable birth rate to keep the economy going.

The birth rate decline is likely more due to the fact that people can't afford kids until their 30s due to student loans and the cost of housing.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

The birth rate decline is likely more due to the fact that people can't afford kids until their 30s due to student loans and the cost of housing.

Also because some women don't want to risk dying from treatable pregnancy complications which doctors in some states are no longer permitted to treat.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Your going to see an even bigger decline in the birth rate if this trend continues. We are already at historic lows below the replacement rate. Women have a biological clock and a small window of fertility.
You also need a stable birth rate to keep the economy going.

Rising cost of living and wages not keeping up with said cost of living is the main factor in the declining birth rate, not whether women are getting married or not.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Also because some women don't want to risk dying from treatable pregnancy complications which doctors in some states are no longer permitted to treat.

This didn't help either. We were going through IVF in 2022 and if it weren't for our governor it might have meant that process pausing.

 

[gmi3804]

Millennials seem to be on to something, as they're waiting longer and longer to decide to marry, sometimes not marrying at all.

RE: Declining birth rate. There's the old "I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world" grouse that's been going around for a long time, but seriously, who wants to give the gift of life to someone who's going to have to fight for water (that's a metaphor for many scientific global realities coming our way) in a few decades? I'm 59 and childless (they could NEVER prove that one decades ago ), so I'll never see the worst of it.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

Your going to see an even bigger decline in the birth rate if this trend continues. We are already at historic lows below the replacement rate. Women have a biological clock and a small window of fertility.
You also need a stable birth rate to keep the economy going.

You do realize you need young people to work and pay taxes, create, build things, take care of the old and the sick. You can't have society of old people living on Social security and Medicare. A steady replacement rate is necessary.

You do make a good case for a robust immigration policy in the interest of the domestic economy.

 

[barkley]

The birth rate decline is likely more due to the fact that people can't afford kids until their 30s due to student loans and the cost of housing.

what I see/know of from my kid's peers in their 30's is a reluctance to have children b/c of what they've witnessed and experienced in their lives-

columbine and subsequent school shootings, the 9-11 attacks, the housing market crash and subsequent 'great recession', the homelessness epidemic, the pandemic, increased and very public hatred and violence between people...

it's shaped them. many don't have the warm and fuzzy memories of childhood/school days and saw their parents struggle to raise them even in the strongest intact 2 parent households. it's a mindset of of 'unless/until I know I can provide and maintain for myself, feel safe/secure/supported in my environment i'm not going to choose to bring a child into this'.

 

[DCLMP]

Rising cost of living and wages not keeping up with said cost of living is the main factor in the declining birth rate, not whether women are getting married or not.

So you’re admitting the economy is in bad shape. Finally!

 

[DCLMP]

The birth rate decline is likely more due to the fact that people can't afford kids until their 30s due to student loans and the cost of housing.

Another admission.

 

[sam_gordon]

So you’re admitting the economy is in bad shape. Finally!

Another admission.

Neither is such. If you would like to discuss why/why not, please bring it to the CT. Can't have the discussion here.

 

[DCLMP]

Neither is such. If you would like to discuss why/why not, please bring it to the CT. Can't have the discussion here.

They brought it up not me. Gave me a good chuckle though.

 

[gmi3804]

So you’re admitting the economy is in bad shape. Finally!

Another admission.

Cost of living is different from the well-being of the economy.

 

[bsmcneil]

IMO, in an "ideal" world, the divorce rate would be 0%. And before people break out the pitchforks, I'm talking about an "ideal" world... one where there is no abuse, no "changing of minds", no "falling out of love", etc. Two people meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after.

Obviously that's not going to happen. But, again in my opinion, lowering the divorce rate is a worthy goal. No, making it tougher to become divorced is NOT a good way to lower the rate. What can be done (if anything) to produce more successful marriages?

I guess - what is the problem with divorce you're trying to solve? As I read your comment, my mind was just filled immediately with, "people change". Why is a 3 year long relationship better than a 1 year and a 30 year better than either (simply just by existing). Onward and upward just for the sake of onward and upward isn't the goal.

 

[bsmcneil]

Maybe the parents should put the kids first and try to get along. There is no reason to fight in front of your kids.

Fighting isn't the only form of "not getting along". Seeing one partner ignore another is a form of not getting along but it's not fighting. I mean - kids need to see healthy relationship dynamics (including how to maturely handle conflict).

 

[sam_gordon]

I guess - what is the problem with divorce you're trying to solve? As I read your comment, my mind was just filled immediately with, "people change". Why is a 3 year long relationship better than a 1 year and a 30 year better than either (simply just by existing). Onward and upward just for the sake of onward and upward isn't the goal.

So you don't think it would be better if EVERY marriage was healthy and happy and didn't need a divorce? Why is that not an admirable goal? Yes, it's unattainable. But if you can agree that would be great to see happen, then doesn't it stands to reason the fewer divorces the better (because the marriages are happy and healthy, NOT because someone was forced or incentivized to stay married).

Of course, people change. People changed in marriages that truly lasted until death also. Is it because those people didn't change "enough"?

 

[gmi3804]

Cost of living is different from the well-being of the economy.

@DCLMP : What's funny about that?

 

[Smugpugmug]

So you’re admitting the economy is in bad shape. Finally!

On the Jimmy Carter thread you accused people to not being able to read past the first sentence and now you're doing it with my post. Love when it comes full circle.

 

[PollyannaMom]

You do realize you need young people to work and pay taxes, create, build things, take care of the old and the sick. You can't have society of old people living on Social security and Medicare. A steady replacement rate is necessary.

But we went past "steady replacement" a long time ago. This:

level of population increase is what we actually have - and I don't believe it's healthy or sustainable.

(graphic source)