S/O: Angel Trees- Long, winded VENT

[MsStinkerBelle]

On the flip side, at work we've 'adopted' a family for Christmas. Since the list for the mom and her five kids was pretty generic and reasonable (hats, gloves, educational toys, pants, shirts), and we're an IT company, a bunch of us also pitched to buy the family a Wii. What makes this so gratifying is that they didn't ask for it, and have no idea it's coming.

 

[StampMom]

It's called a "wish list" for a reason. Don't you think that poor children and teens WISH for the same things that other children do? Wishing for something isn't the same as being greedy or thinking you are entitled to it. (Especially if you think about younger children who still believe in Santa Claus. How sad to think that they should understand that Santa Claus may bring video games and brand name toys to OTHER children, but he only brings "necessities" to them.)

 

[AshleyMWC]

I agree that some of the requests are a little unreasonable for these Angels, but it still hasn't stopped me from picking one off the tree. I totally understand where the OP is coming from, but I don't think it's fair to totally write off the Angel Tree just because a few might be taking advantage of it. Plus, as others have said, these kids have the same wishes as all other kids. They want the latest technology and toys, and poor or not, they deserve to wish for it I think. I picked a 10 year old boy, his one request was a remote control car- pretty reasonable for a 10 year old boy I think. I also got him some clothes to go with the car. Unfortunately in today's world of greed we do have to be cautius of the causes we choose to support, but I don't think that a few bad apples should ruin the Angel Tree for evryone. Just my two cents.....

 

[abbybeth]

On the flip side, at work we've 'adopted' a family for Christmas. Since the list for the mom and her five kids was pretty generic and reasonable (hats, gloves, educational toys, pants, shirts), and we're an IT company, a bunch of us also pitched to buy the family a Wii. What makes this so gratifying is that they didn't ask for it, and have no idea it's coming.

now THAT'S some Christmas magic! I can't imagine the looks on their faces come Christmas!

 

[WDWorBUST]

I don't think that these children are filling out these requests unsupervised by parents. And although children may not understand how much these items cost - their parents should. If I was in a situation that the only way my child was going to have a Christmas at all was because of the generosity of these organizations that provide so much I would make sure she put reasonable requests. I think every child should get a new toy or something they really want.....but I also know that you can probably find some very reasonably priced "really" wants if the parents help them. My DD's BIG present excitement-wise this year from Santa is a furreal newborn pet - a $10 toy. She also wants an AG doll which I haven't decided if she will get yet or not....but honestly if she got both I'm not sure which one she would be more excited about. (I think she wants an AG doll because it has her name)

 

[RitaE]

I wonder if you would feel okay about someone (possibly a relative) giving your children gently used toys? My motto is if I wouldn't buy it/accept it for my own child, I'm certainly not going to give it to someone else. Also, for many of these children they probably only own used toys and clothing. Why shouldn't they have something all their own, never before used or owned?

Well I guess that's the difference between us because in our family we buy and accept gently used items on a frequent basis. Not because we need to, but because we feel it is kind of silly to spent $35 for something at Toys R Us when you can pick it up for $3 at the neighbor's yard sale.

 

[Green Tea]

I agree. I look through the tags and they want things I wouldn't get for my own children because of the excess. I have no problem buying something fun, along with the needed clothes and things, but games for their Wii and Xbox 360 consoles?? Come-on!

 

[BWVNUT]

On the flip side, at work we've 'adopted' a family for Christmas. Since the list for the mom and her five kids was pretty generic and reasonable (hats, gloves, educational toys, pants, shirts), and we're an IT company, a bunch of us also pitched to buy the family a Wii. What makes this so gratifying is that they didn't ask for it, and have no idea it's coming.

This brought a tear to my eye! Love it!

 

[CinRell]

I don't think that these children are filling out these requests unsupervised by parents. And although children may not understand how much these items cost - their parents should. If I was in a situation that the only way my child was going to have a Christmas at all was because of the generosity of these organizations that provide so much I would make sure she put reasonable requests. I think every child should get a new toy or something they really want.....but I also know that you can probably find some very reasonably priced "really" wants if the parents help them. My DD's BIG present excitement-wise this year from Santa is a furreal newborn pet - a $10 toy. She also wants an AG doll which I haven't decided if she will get yet or not....but honestly if she got both I'm not sure which one she would be more excited about. (I think she wants an AG doll because it has her name)

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking!!!!

 

[CinRell]

DD and I now pick from our Senior Angel Tree. Our poor lady asked for 1 medium shirt (I bought her 4), a 36B bra (got that), arts and crafts(used cpns at Michaels and bought some).

Now here's an angel tree I'd like to pick from and donate to!!!!

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Last year I was walking in our mall and saw that the angel tree only had two tags left on it. I pulled both tags and realized why they were left. The only toys the two kids asked for were bicycles, and I imagine most people didn't want to spend that much money so they avoided pulling the last two angels.

I live in a small town, and by that time our local W-Mart had sold all of the bikes that size. So I had to drive over an hour away (and pay dearly) to get two bikes for these kids. I also bought them a few clothing items as well and then took all of the gifts to our local Salvation Army to donate. When taking the bikes inside, I was mobbed by customers trying to get the bikes from me. It was actually a little scary, and the SA employees were almost as bad. As I left, I wondered if the bikes would even reach their intended recipients. That experience in itself has caused me to think twice this year about pulling names off the angel tree. I really love the idea of helping others during this season, but I think I will find another way to donate to a family in need.

Getting back to the original post, I wasn't bothered by the two bike requests, but I would be bothered by a Wii request. Although I don't really agree with the premise that they should only request what they absolutely need (they are kids after all), I think the angels should be a reasonable mixture of needs and wants.

 

[HopingToGetEngaged]

How in the world is a 10-year old who has little, and sees some of her friends at school with so much, wanting what THEY have greedy?

When you were 10, would you have been happy getting mittens as your only Christmas gift?

Face it...how many of our OWN kids NEED a Wii? None of them...NONE of them...but we buy things that they want because it makes them happy.

So why can't you keep the spirit of the angel tree and accept that you are fulfilling a wish for a kid who has no other hope of getting something they really want. Nothing says you can't still get them a pair of mittens...but consider that what really makes a kid happy on Christmas is getting something they want rather than need.

First off - I never said a 10 yo wanting what her friends do was greedy. And this may sound snarky- but yes, I wouldn't have been happy if my only gift when I was 10 was a hat, scarf and mittens. My parents worked extremely hard for my sister and I to never have to "want" for much.

I'm 28 - My mother still tells me that for my 10th birthday I threw a huge fit because I didn't get a 10 speed bike. My father ran out and bought one the next day. Spoiled - yes. I'll admit it! And she reminds me to show me just how good I did, and still do have it. Even now- with my father who lost his great job 10 years ago- who owns a handyman business (that's just barely paying the company bills- he brings next to nothing home) and a Mother that teaches in a Catholic school ... there isn't any thing that my parents wouldn't do to get me what I NEED. And visa-versa. If parents or my sister needed something, I'd do everything in my power to help them.

We were taught the value of a dollar. I feel that this is a huge part of society's problem. And yes - we wanted what everyone else did grown up. I wanted a pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans - My mother about had a stroke at the $65 tag... she said she'd give me $25 - (the cost of the Levi's she normally purchased for me)- and if I truly wanted them then I'd have to come up with the money. (And not thru Grandma).

One of the executives where I work told me that his twin daughters get 3 gifts from Mom and Dad. Their explanation was that Baby Jesus was only give 3 gifts - and it was good enough for the Him, it was good enough for us. Granted, they get smaller things from Santa- but there isn't much extravagance.

And as for me keeping the spirit of the Angel tree? It's about WANT vs. NEED. Angel trees were meant to help those in NEED. With the economy the way that it is - as selfish as this is going to sound... I'm not going to bust my butt and my hard earned money on some frivolous object for a kid! Not when there are needs to be met. And if a Wii, or DS is the only thing that that child has to "wish" or "want" for - then they shouldn't be on the tree in the first place! And no - I wouldn't mind giving them a pair of mittens or something "useful" with their gift... but to ask for such expensive things is kinda gutsy!

 

[shelby101301]

Ia gree with those kind of aiming for the middle. I can't afford to give a wii this year, but who the hell wants mittens for Christmas?

Last year, my bible study adopted a family in need and we took the 4 yr old boy (since I had a 4 yr old at the time) We bought him underwear, jammies, jeans, shirts and a load of Thomas stuff (I used 50% coupons from internet and went every day to get enough). I was happy to do it, we could afford it....last year

This year, not so much. So I am picking and choosing what I can give. some fun toys for toys for tots and some "need" items for a shelter.

A local family just lost everything in a fire. They requested used toys, clothing - anything. hey have a 2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy. At least there I can help. Instead of going to the consignment shop, I have a bunch of stuff I can send. Hope it's good enough.

 

[DearDaisyinDurham]

we doubled our donations to the food bank and gave to the clothing drive.

we will buy a toy or two for the angel tree, but not wii stuff ....

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Well I guess that's the difference between us because in our family we buy and accept gently used items on a frequent basis. Not because we need to, but because we feel it is kind of silly to spent $35 for something at Toys R Us when you can pick it up for $3 at the neighbor's yard sale.

I have often bought things at garage sales -- one of my favorite pastimes! However, I don't buy used items and then pass them off to family members or complete strangers as gifts! That's just wrong. People want the credit for doing something to help others, but want to give away used items? I'm sorry but if I'm getting a gift for someone it has to be new, otherwise that's just tacky.

As another poster mentioned this is a Wishlist and, I'd like to add, probably supposed to be FROM SANTA. Doesn't Santa bring all good boys and girls gifts? Or should these children be made to feel that they're not worthy because of circumstances beyond their control? Again, why shouldn't children who have nothing own one or two items they can call their own and cherish? I'm sorry, but I think many of you are missing the spirit of Christmas. Judging is NOT part of that holiday spirit. Buy it or don't but don't judge children for wanting something when they have nothing.

If everyone has a problem with wants and needs, would you all be chipping in to buy a house/get an apartment for a homeless family if that's what the child requested on their wishlist? I think we can all agree a house/home/apartment is a NECESSITY.

 

[Disneylush]

I am in charge of the christmas trees at our church we have three trees.
1. The mitten tree...covered with hats and mittens for all ages.
2. The gift tree.... where all items should be around $15.00 then on Dec. 15 the families come in and "shop" for what ONE item/ toy (a want item) they want for each child. Then the needs: They can take up to 5 used toys, and up to 2 new outfits and 5 used outfits. After Dec. 9 this turns into the family tree which is gift cards to food stores, target, and wal-mart. We then give these to an organization who gives them out all year.
3. Just do it tree ... give a warm drink to your postal carrier, help mom, and about 50 other things that don't cost anything.

Everyone seems to love the trees.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I wonder if you would feel okay about someone (possibly a relative) giving your children gently used toys? My motto is if I wouldn't buy it/accept it for my own child, I'm certainly not going to give it to someone else. Also, for many of these children they probably only own used toys and clothing. Why shouldn't they have something all their own, never before used or owned?

I have given my kids used toys (in good condition) for Christmas before. Last year they each recieved 4 sets of legos from a garage sale. It is a lot more environmentally friendly to give used items, then to buy new. Also I am able to give them more for less money. They really don't care that someone else used it first. We buy many clothes from second hand stores and garage sales. Also I gave my 2 1/2 year old nephew some of my boys outgrown toys for Christmas last year. He loved them. He also wears all my boys old clothes. They are not a needy family, but why would they waste money on new clothes/toys when my kids things are available?

As for the Angel Tree, I think kids should get toys or other wanted items for Christmas. I just don't think they should be so high end. I'm happy to donate new toys to toys for tots every year. You don't have to give specific toys. I also still give cash to Salvation Army every year.

 

[HopingToGetEngaged]

DD and I now pick from our Senior Angel Tree. Our poor lady asked for 1 medium shirt (I bought her 4), a 36B bra (got that), arts and crafts(used cpns at Michaels and bought some).

I never thought about a Senior Angel Tree... What an awesome idea!

On the flip side, at work we've 'adopted' a family for Christmas. Since the list for the mom and her five kids was pretty generic and reasonable (hats, gloves, educational toys, pants, shirts), and we're an IT company, a bunch of us also pitched to buy the family a Wii. What makes this so gratifying is that they didn't ask for it, and have no idea it's coming.

At work, we've adopted families from woman's shelters in the area, where we've got the extra mile. It is wonderful to be able to give them the icing on the cake!

I don't think that these children are filling out these requests unsupervised by parents. And although children may not understand how much these items cost - their parents should. If I was in a situation that the only way my child was going to have a Christmas at all was because of the generosity of these organizations that provide so much I would make sure she put reasonable requests. I think every child should get a new toy or something they really want.....but I also know that you can probably find some very reasonably priced "really" wants if the parents help them.

I agree. I'm a bit blown away that some parents think that this is "ok" to ask for things of such monetary value from parishioners of a church that's struggling to keep the sacred roof over their heads!

There were always children who asked for toys... but they were reasonable. Maybe it's just a huge sign of the times where everything is costing so much more...

 

[mickeyboat]

And as for me keeping the spirit of the Angel tree? It's about WANT vs. NEED. Angel trees were meant to help those in NEED. With the economy the way that it is - as selfish as this is going to sound... I'm not going to bust my butt and my hard earned money on some frivolous object for a kid! Not when there are needs to be met.

Sounds like the Angel Tree is not a good community service project for you. Angel trees are to help people in need, but not only to provide for their needs.

 

[HopingToGetEngaged]

I'm sorry, but I think many of you are missing the spirit of Christmas. Judging is NOT part of that holiday spirit. Buy it or don't but don't judge children for wanting something when they have nothing.

I'm not judging anyone. And I'm not missing the holiday spirit. I was just venting about a lot of society today. I was taken aback by the requests off of our tree, and said that it made me think twice about it. And that I had decided to donate elsewhere. That still falls in the spirit of the holiday. The charity I donate/donated to is VERY near and dear to my heart, as it 's my late Aunt's- I try to do a lot and give what I can to this because it means so much to myself and my family. I thought that I'd try to "spread it around" a bit, but saw unreasonable some requests where, that I decided to stick with what I knew.

The original post was just meant to be a vent for me - as I'm saddened by the value that society places on "things". It wasn't meant to start a debate about the spirit of the holiday or anything else...