*exhale*
Thank you all so much for the well wishes and support
I wish I could write this nice, fun filled story about the race today but I just don't have it in me. The short story is that I finished mere seconds away from receiving a medal and was incredibly disappointed as a result. I would have rather finished dead last. It's very heartbreaking to see the last of the medals being passed out just a few people ahead of you...hearing the volunteers say "that's it...no more" to those of us who were strides away...and then looking all around you as you go thru the food/water/chip return lines and seeing everyone else displaying their awards around their necks. Never have I been so dejected following a run. I simply walked straight to one of the buses there to transport us back to the start...bypassing drink, food & entertainment. For a good while I sat and contemplated why I even do this in the first place. Part of me wanted a "do over" so I could shave three seconds off of my time, the other part of me wished I had never signed up for it in the first place.
As the day has progressed I have come to a few realizations.
-- I am thankful for where I'm at in regards to running. If you told me two years ago I'd be averaging 8:30's on one of the hilliest 10k's in the country, I would have never believed you. I accept the fact that my hard work has brought me to a great place with the runs.
-- At the same time, I have definitely leveled off...I've run pretty much the same 10k time for the last year. I'm happy at this level, but have no real desire to go do speed work and modify training just to increase my times.
-- I've realized that 10k's are no longer fun for me. Regardless of the medal deal, it's just tough to try and sustain a fast pace over the course of 6.2 miles. I'd much rather slow it down just a notch and draw that out over 13.1 or 26.2 miles. I've realized that I'm much more of an endurance athlete than I am a sprint or short distance runner....Of course, just to be able to sit here and make that determination in my mind is a great achievement for me and one internal conversation that I thought I'd never have LOL
So what does it all mean? I'm finished with 5k and 10k distances for the time being. Reward for me now is settling in for the long haul. When it comes down to it, I'd much rather go out for an early morning 12 miler at a 9:30 pace than I would a mid-week 4 miler at an 8:00 pace. I believe my future as I see it is filled now with half marathons and full marathons (sometimes back to back
) I kind of live for that zoned out feeling you get...when your body is on auto-pilot and it's just you and the trail, background music in your headphones while you clear out your mind...pumping in that gel pack and some water to provide yourself with a needed boost of fuel...running without really realizing you are running....realizing it's where I belong, feeling like that's the place where I should be.
I am very fortunate to be where I'm at...very lucky to have had an injury free ride so far...sometimes it just takes events like today's race to help me refocus and redirect myself down the proper path.
So prior to Goofy '08, I will be competing in a half marathon in October where the goal is not to finish in a certain time, but to enjoy the experience and be in that place that I love so much....me, my thoughts, my body and 13.1 miles of pavement...it's where I really belong.
I'd like to give a special shout out to my running partner who took the brunt of my frustration today and really helped me see the positive side of things. Thank you Amy
I hope all of you have a great week ahead and thanks so much for stopping by!!
. 
training bad? Kind of like rain on your wedding day *cue Alannis* 
. Anyway...tomorrow is a new day for us to get some easy XT in and regroup for Thursday's run! Let the God's of running shine down on us 
. Oh wait...nm.
Of course, if you don't want to spill the beans this early in the game, I totally understand.
Seriously...have a great race Scott. And awesome job last week. As always your numbers are SUPER impressive! 
I'm not really sure how to put it into words. But I am utterly in awe of you and what you've realized today. What an upsetting feeling you must've had, but you pulled out of it this enlightened sense of what type of runner you really are. And that you know what you both ENJOY and excel in, and where you'd like to be.
