RSVP on birthday parties.. I guess is not cool any more?

[sweetdana]

I guess RSVPing is just not cool any more..

I sent invites to 13 girls last week and not 1 has called. (2 moms I know and I emailed them, the others I dont) (DD8th birthday at an ice skating ring).

This happended last yr, (chuck e cheese) I put the RSVP date on and like 2 or 3 people got in before then.. maybe another 10 after the date and about kids showed up who didnt rsvp.. They were very helpful, with extra chairs n stuff, but we didn't have a big enough table either it was SUPPPER SUPPER lucky my neice and nephew didnt show, or I wouldn't have had enough goodie bags even.. .

I wish I knew how many were coming.. I know I am not the only mom who deals with this.. but making goodie bags, paying for kids who might/might not show up, not RSVP enough seats and crammming kids in, being short a goodie bag or paying for more than I need.. .. is well less fun that a birthday party should be..

 

[ktlm]

I know exactly what you are talking about. People around here aren't good at RSVP either. Some think you only need to RSVP if you aren't coming, and some think they should only RSVP if they are coming, so you never know what you are going to get at the party. I always have this fear that no one will show up for DD's party, but so far we've always had a good group wind up coming. It drives me crazy not knowing how many we will have too!

 

[mjkacmom]

Lol - that's how it goes. When is the party? I send out invitations less than 2 weeks before the party, and put the RSVP date a few days before the party (we have them out, so the venue wants to know).

Ds10's party was this weekend. 10 were invited. About 7 RSVP'd. Two who RSVP'd yes didn't show up. Two who didn't RSVP did show up. So, it all worked out. What I've learned to do was do a goody item that can be flexible (either stuff I can return, or something like a candy buffet, which I did this weekend, and it worked great).

This is VERY common with kids parties. Luckily, everyone dd10 invited was a GOOD GOOD friend, and I'm really close with the parents. Twelve were invited, 12 RSVP'd, 12 showed up.

 

[mom2cookies]

Our rule of thumb, is plan on everyone coming. ITs a pain and i know its expensive. Ask the venue what the policy is if everyone does not show up? I would also, let the venue know how many you invited and tell them ahead of time, some guests have a reputation for not RSVPing, so they can be prepared. ALso.... alot of people ( especially younger kids) don't know what RSVP means! sadly.

 

[LuLuO]

It's not just birthday parties. My mom spent a lot of time making calls for our wedding trying to find out if people were going to come to our wedding. At least a third didn't RSVP. How hard is it to check a box and return a self addressed stamped envelope?

I usually just put "RSVP Regrets Only" on the invites. That way I know I won't go over my invited number.

 

[tms295psu]

We always try for locations that have a larger flat fee but small per kid charge ( roller skating is $150 plus $2.50 per kid that shows; bowling is $6.50 per kid head count needed in advance, they will add for extras that show but won't reduce for no shows!)

Also favors I tend to do stuff that we will use at home if we have extra (fruit snacks, lollipops, etc)

 

[sksjasams]

I would always call the non-rsvping parents and ask if their child could make it or not. Our school has a directory though, so I could easily get the phone numbers.

 

[babym66]

I put "RSVP for Goody Bag Count" for my child's birthday party and have great luck with parents responding.

Also an e-mail address for RSVP might help over phone number. Some people don't like to call and say "no", my friend uses this option.

As far as a wedding RSVP, I heard of a bride that ordered Domino's Pizza for the guests that showed up but didn't RSVP.

Good Luck!

 

[Swimalie]

I seem to be in the minority so far. I haven't had a problem with people not RSVPing in my area. Last year we invited 10 and all 10 RSVP'd but 2 backed out due to being sick. The year before I had a parent tell me it depended on another commitment so they weren't sure they would make it. I made a goodie bag for this girl anyway and dropped it off after the party since she couldn't make it.

 

[wiigirl]

I would always call the non-rsvping parents and ask if their child could make it or not. Our school has a directory though, so I could easily get the phone numbers.

Even though I say RSVP I always have to follow up and call.

 

[Anastasia]

I would agree with the suggestion to include an e-mail address for the RSVP. That way people can RSVP at their convenience. Sometimes I remember to RSVP at times that are unacceptable to call, so providing an e-mail address makes it much easier.

 

[Gina]

Y'all are awful nice... lol. When my son was younger, I got sick of that BS and started putting "RSVP needed by such-and-such-date" on the invites, along with "Due to venue party requirements, we must give them an accurate account by X date. Anyone who is able to attend at the last minute but wasn't able to RSVP will be welcome, but will not be able to be included in the actual party. Thanks for understanding!"

It's amazing how few issues I had after that.

 

[5 Disney Fans]

I use evite and have found people are better about RSVPing. They get email reminders and all they have to do is click yes or no. doesn't require a phone call or an email. If it easy and they get auto reminders parents use it.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

Are you sure the invitations are reaching the parents? I have had several cases where I sent out invitations and found out that the parents did not see them until the last minute. And this morning my dd (12) handed me an invitation for a party tonight that had an RSVP on it. I had a long conversation with her about what RSVP means and why she needed to give it to me sooner (she said she had already told her friend she was coming).

 

[java]

Another one with better luck with evites. For some reason I think people just have short term memory issues. I also like that it reminds the ones that said yes that the day of the party is coming so they don't forget!

But yes mailed invites seem to only get RSVP's from people that I am friend's with. Anyone that is just a class friend I don't usually hear from.

Best was one year my daughter went to a party that only she and one other girl attended. The mom complained about how nobody RSVP'd and that she hated that. Blah blah blah........ Well guess who was the only one NOT To RSVP to daughter's party- yep you guessed it that mom!

 

[Ginny Favers]

I actually send evites AND paper invites to people, just because I wasn't sure if they'd check their email or if their kid would lose the invite in his backpack. I gave both a phone number AND an email address to RSVP to, to make it easiest.

Out of 35 invites, I got maybe 25 responses. The 10 who never responded did not show up. I was happy with the response.

I remember when I was a child and had a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, there was only one girl who did not respond, and my mother thought that she was coming, so we held up the entire party for her. Back then, people ALWAYS RSVP'd, so she must have put Regrets Only on the card. I remember thinking badly of that girl and her mom, even through high school!

 

[irishsharon]

happens all the time about half rsvp and most after the date you put down. 3 days before ds party I thought only 8 where going then I started getting calls and we ended up with 15. Will I go through the crazyness again YES because ds had such a great time

 

[NYEmomma]

Funny, with DD's birthday parties, her friends always RSVP -- almost immediately, but we NEVER hear from any family members one way or the other.

It drives me nuts because BILs are notorious for not RSVPing, showing up late to the party, eating massive amounts of food, leaving early & not even saying hello to DD let alone give her a card or a gift. After the 4th year of it, I decided we're not doing friend/family combined parties anymore. DD's old enough now that she's into Chuck e Cheese style parties. So we'll do that for friends & then just invite my parents, FIL & step MIL fr cake/ice cream and call it a day.

 

[geishagirl81]

A lot of people seem to be doing Facebook events to follow up on the paper invites around here. Just add the families to the even and they respond, yes, no, maybe. That was you can follow up on attendance more casually..and people pay attention to facebook happenings more around here it seems.

 

[bumbershoot]

I guess RSVPing is just not cool any more..

Well it's never actually been *cool*. If you had people rsvp in the past to a kid's party you were on the lucky side.