Roommates in college - what is reasonable to share?

[mickeysgal]

I haven't read all the responses, but my thoughts are a different roommate is definitely in order when the opportunity presents itself. AND her philosophy is "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine". See how she responds when your dd is asking to use some of her stuff.

I agree. It sounds like it may be a looonnnnggg year.

 

[mamacatnv]

We are just starting our 4th year with DS in shared housing. It has certainly been a learning experience to say the least.

IMO as many things separate as possible.
Roomie needs to go buy her own printer and your DD needs to keep her door locked.

 

[tlbwriter]

Target has a printer in today's flyer for less than $40. Tell her to buy that with the money she saves by not buying a vacuum.

 

[Longsx3]

If she can replace the printer cartridge, then why not? I shared LOTS with my roomate(s), and it was never a problem. I don't see the issue. It sounds like your DD is having sharing issues.

This was my first thought too but then I started thinking, what happens when the ink cartridges run out...how do you really determine who should buy them this time? Based on the roommates current attitude I would be concerned that she might not replace them when they need to be...or when the OP's DD eeds them to be.

Out of curiosity what items did the roommate bring to share?

 

[momtotreasure]

No real update, but I did tell my DD to read your responses, which made her feel better. Since classes start tomorrow, there are other things on her mind so she is not broaching the subject yet but hopes to do so soon.

The roommate has offered to share clothes (she wears size 0 and m DD wears 2's) and her vast costume collection (they have events in their sororities that call for costumes.) My DD is not interested in her stuff. She really hasn't expected the RM to share anything, just not demand to use her stuff!

My DD brought her TV (a free one neighbors gave us). The college provides the microfridge, so there really isn't anything else needed. That's ok with me.

DD had a mini-freak-out when she first hooked up her printer this evening. Apparently her computer was searching for the wireless computer here at home about 300 miles away! I was afraid it was karma! Once she instructed her computer to connect to the one in her room, she DID get it working and the fear of it NOT working made her even more sure she doesn't want to share it. She had to print a syllabus for her first class tomorrow and couldn't imagine not being prepared. The library would be closed when she would be able to go to it.

I will update if/when there is anything worth mentioning, but I want to say thanks for providing feedback since I was so taken aback by the reaction to our not wanting her to share it, except for an emergency. I wondered if I was missing the boat. Apparently from your responses, I am not crazy!

 

[4under4]

Our local Goodwill usually has printers for under $5. Go buy one, put it in the common room. Tell the roommate it's available for her use as long as she supplies all the ink/paper, knowing of course that it will cost her more in ink than if she just bought a nice new one.

Our summer nanny's story... March of freshman year she signed up to room with the girl she met at the start of freshman year, and her then BFF. Sophomore year rolls around and they are both on thinking of all the fun they would have. Long story short, it didn't work well at all. Right after Christmas break, our nanny got the chance to become an RA and jumped on it... I'm guessing as much because of the financial benefits as well as an easy fix to the roommate problems she was having. She told me over the summer that they had finally "cleared the air" but rooming together had not been a good thing, and I doubt their friendship will ever be what it once was.

Sometimes friends can't be good roommates. Sometimes good roommates don't have to be friends. And sometimes, it's worth the extra $$ to get a single room

 

[Green Tea]

As far a vacuum.....why wouldn't all the roommates share one. A dorm setup certainly doesn't need 2. And I'm generally not a big supporter of each pays half.....because then at the end of the year, who takes it home.

And I do like what someone said.....buy a printer with the money saved by not buying a vacuum.

 

[DizBelle]

Monitor her access to the printer and charge her per page of printing.

Are there locks on the bedroom doors within the suite?

 

[Rora]

Just for the demand I would refuse to share.

Pretty much.

Car? No. Printer? No. Vacuum? Yes.

And, I'd be more than a little irritated if a roommate told me who I could and couldn't date.

 

[miralys]

Sharing a car, no way.
Vacuum cleaner, fine.
Computer & printer? No, that's what the library/computer lab is for.
Clothes, not my thing but I guess you could.
TV & DVD player, sure.

This roomie sounds like she is in for quite a shock, learning how to do things like share AND respect boundaries. But, you might be surprised. Sometimes there are growing pains when sharing a room with someone else and you actually end up quite close. I was certain I would never get along with one of my roomies, and we actually ended up being closer than the roomie I liked from day one.

 

[scrapquitler]

My girlfriends and I all had this rule when we were in college. It makes a lot of sense...if they date and things don't go well, it would have put me in an awkward situation.

As to the rest:
Borrowing the car...RIDICULOUS

Borrowing the printer: I don't think it's unreasonable. Tell her to buy X number of printer cartridges and X packages of papers, then she can use the printer.

The vacuum: reasonable to share.

My roommate and I shared our stereo, vacuum, blow dryer, tv, dorm fridge. We talked ahead of time and figured out who would bring what. There really isn't that much room to duplicate too many things.

 

[xCourxCorex]

I'd be considering a new roomie .. between the totally unreasonable car request, printer demanding and tattling on your DD to her Mom, and the weird boy comment...


I do not see why this girl cannot provide her own printer. As others have mentioned, what would she do if your DD did not have one? She can use printers in the library, computer labs, etc on campus. My very small private college has plenty of locations where we can use printers (and we have 500 "free" sheets to use per semester for printing anything in those places).

Printers are not expensive, especially with places like Target running great back to school deals right now! I saw an HP printer/copier/scanner for $30 not too long ago! There's no reason she can't buy one.

I lived in dorms with an additional roommate for 3 years (3 different girls) and we have always had our own printers. It IS a hassle to share.. I always had mine under my desk, hooked up to the laptop.

Tell the girl to get over it, buy her own, and NO she won't be sharing, just for her little attitude!