Review at work....rant long

[Lewski709]

My review was all V, Very Good. No O's, outstandings but we never get those, that'd be like saying we are perfect and they can't do that.

Ok, so my beef is this comment...."watch" time off from work, 6 people commented last fall on your time off.

I had a baby and took 12 weeks FMLA Feb-April and then I had 2 weeks vacation and probably took 4 days off for my children being ill (once in the hospital). I take the time when my kids are sick. I try to get in for 1/2 days, at least, when I do call in. I am always at home and they do contact me there. My work, when I am there, is superior and does not suffer. I alternate time off with DH or there would be more days.

I said the people who commented:

1. Dont' have kids, so they "don't get it"
2. They have a wife at home
3. They don't remember what it was like when their kids were small and sick
   [/list=1]
   
   Note: most are men I work with.
   
   It is really bothering me that it is "ok" but "noted". It's either ok or it isn't. I told them my family comes first and (I am salary) if it's an issue, don't pay me for the day. I don't think it's about money, it's about other "people" noticing. I am a manager too. I am very understanding about time off, when my people need it.
   
   Comments?

 

[Lewski709]

One more thing, 90% of the time I work through lunch.

 

[tinaluis]

I hate it when people don't get it and, like you said, they have either forgotten what it was like to have small children or simply don't have them. When we had DD#1 my DH took off 12 weeks under the FMLA because she was our first child and we didn't have anyone to help us out -- no mothers, fathers, siblings, etc. He got so much sh** from his boss who was a single man in his late 40's with no kids and no prospects. He ended up making his life so miserable when he returned to work that DH found another job. Several years later we heard through the grapevine that his former boss was no longer employed there and had to leave to take care of his aging/ill parents in Wisconsin. I wonder if our family situation ever crossed his mind when he was tending to his parents. I hope it made him a little more compassionate at least. Keep your head up and don't let them get to you. It sounds like you're a very conscientous worker and they're lucky to have you.

 

[annemariec]

It wouldn't sit well with me either. I can't stand it when people feel the need to monitor others. (It's in the NUNYA dept. in my book.) If you aren't in management, leave it to management!! IMO people like that have too much time on their hands. And it's just negative energy.

If it were me, I'd make an amendment to my comments about the comments.

I would outline the time off you took, just as you did here. I wouldn't justify it, as it appears to be within most employment guidelines. (i.e.- pregnancy, accrued vacation, sick leave) No one needs to know if 4 days were for you or your children. Four days in a whole year is not that much!

I don't think those comments others made can "stand" legally on your record, if your time off was within employment guidelines. Check with HR. Who cares if people "notice". If it isn't legal, I'd push for HR to have it removed.

Good luck,
Annemarie

 

[LindaR]

I had the same thing happen to me.............I ended up quitting that place.

I am a single mom (no assistance from ex), my mother moved here to live with me, she doesn't drive.........before she moved I spoke with president of bank about this situation. I would have to take sick time to take mom to her doctor appointment, etc. He said "don't worry, it will be fine". Year later it was commented that I took too much time off (we were allowed 5 days per year and then the option to use vacation time). I never took a vacation that year because I used the time for appointments. I didn't get a pay raise. What is the diff between a person who uses 5 days sick /10 days vacation and one who uses 12 sick days? That really burned me..........

I work, I earn time off. Shouldn't be a concern how the time is used as long as I don't use more than earned.

Just watch yourself........now every move will be scrutinized.

 

[JenBlaze]

I completely understand.

I actually quit a job back in August because of this... We found out the hard way that my youngest (now 1 1/2) has asthma, and cannot be in daycare. She'd get a cold or virus from the other kids and end up having to go into the hospital about twice a month.

My supervisor told me one day that "your kid had better be dying next time you're out". I refuse to take that... so I quit.

I also had this sort of situation when I got married. I had only been at the company for 3 months, and took a week for my honeymoon. They had been told before I even got hired that I was taking that week - and they fired me for my "absenteeism"!

Wish I could give you hope that there's some sort of solution, but unfortunately, that's corporate America. They give you a paycheck and expect that your job be your 1st, 2nd and 3rd priorities in return.

(No, I'm not cynical at all!)

 

[FranP]

...to "discriminate" against someone who takes time off under FMLA?????? I would think about speaking to someone in HR to find out if you can put a comment in your file as one of the earlier posters indicated. In the company I worked for, when you had a review you had the right to make some comments (or not) on the form so it could be placed in your file. In any event, I empathize - you are trying to be a good mother and a good employee.

 

[Lewski709]

We get three sick days. I have been told continuosly, even today in my review, it's not an issue. They know I work hard and as long as it isn't being abused, it's not a problem....yet its noted . I have talked to my supervisor and his about it before and they agree family is#1, not to worry about it....yet it's still there. This isn't the first review it's been "noted". I do take more time than allowed including vacations. I know that and admit it. I don't have a choice when my kids are sick.

 

[tiggerwannabe]

A boss said to me once- "...if I gave you high marks, you would have my job." If family leave and vacation time being used is the only complaint your boss can come up with on you, I'd say you're doing a fine job. (He's drawing straws.)

A Mom-whether you work or stay home-is the most selfless, tiresome, thankless job there is...the only pat on the back a Mom gets is the one she gives herself when the kids are grown and sees that she's done a good job.

Be proud to put your family first!
Here's a big pat on the back for you!

 

[lil mermaid]

I think what would bother me more than anything about that review is that the reviewer basically told you to watch your time off from work because OTHERS were commenting. What business is it of theirs? You are entitled to FMLA leave under the law, and obviously the rest of your time off was in accordance with company policy or approved by someone. So what if your co-workers "commented." It is none of their business, especially since you are obviously a valued employee and are getting your work done.

Are you allowed to put a comment in your file? I would do that.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Does your company have a written policy concerning whether or not Sick Days can be used to stay at home to care for Dependents? Does the Employee Handbook say what should happen if *any* employee needs more days than what is allowed? If not, I would ask that one be developed and distributed to everyone. I worked for a company once that made me use my vacation days to care for my children. I didn't stay there long because it just didn't fit my needs.

I don't think it is fair of companies to have poorly developed Employee Standards that lets managers themselves determine whether or not they want to be friendly to working parents. It promotes favortism and really allows for bad feelings to develop amongst the staff.

 

[annemariec]

Well, if it's approved with management, I still have my doubts to the "legality of it".

I would hold my cards close to my chest. Looks like you have people that like to talk and "notice".

I wouldn't disclose why I was taking off to anyone but management. If someone asked me, I'd ask, "That's funny, why do you want to know that?". If they say I'm just showing concern for you and your family (yeah, right). I'd say, "That's very nice of you. How's your family?" And go in a new topical direction.

Annemarie

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by lil mermaid
I think what would bother me more than anything about that review is that the reviewer basically told you to watch your time off from work because OTHERS were commenting. What business is it of theirs? You are entitled to FMLA leave under the law, and obviously the rest of your time off was in accordance with company policy or approved by someone. So what if your co-workers "commented." It is none of their business, especially since you are obviously a valued employee and are getting your work done.

Are you allowed to put a comment in your file? I would do that.

I AM taking more time off than technically allowed by the company. I probably had 4 kid sick days and two of my own last year. We are allowed 3 total sick days. I agreed that I do take extra time off, it's TRUE.

The problem is....my supervisors say it's ok, but then put that in there? Is it ok, or not? If my kids are sick, I don't take off unless I have to (DH can't stay with them). If I am really sick, I am not coming in. Am I not entitled to be ill or take off if I am?

Uh huh. That's the issue I had. My supervisors say it's ok, but it was noted? When I asked why, he said he put it down because people had commented on it. He was ok with it though.

I think it's the ONLY thing they have to put down that's negative, so they do.

Yes, there was a place for my comments and they are in the file.

 

[Blondie]

I keep a strict journal of the days I call out sick. I want no surprises come evaluation time, nor do I want any days offs being reported inaccurately (it's happened before.)

Our rating scale is "E" for exceeds expectations, "S" for satisfactory or "N" needs improvement (which means no raise.)

If you get an "S" you get the minimal increase (2% woo hoo )

If you get an "E" it's 5%.

The entire staff of the hospital is evaluated every February, regardless of when you were hired. It takes place during the whole month and you have to fill out a "self evaluation" form (I hate these!)

Anyway, in the area where my nurse manager checks off the E/S/N, I went and checked off the E for her! I thought I deserved it!

She laughed, said she was glad I did her job for her, and gave it to me!

Wish I had thought of that years ago!

Anyway, I can sympathize with you. Years ago when my kids were very small, their health and well being was (and still is) my number one concern. I can always find another job, but I can't replace my family! The younger girls (who didn't have kids of their own yet) didn't understand why I couldn't work this shift or that shift or why I needed to be off, and why I just didn't throw them in daycare!

Well.....now the tables are turned! They are the ones with infants and I'm the one saying it back to them!

Don't worry, things come full circle eventually!

Hang in there. With me, family comes first! It always will!

 

[Hillbeans]

I've been on both ends of this spectrum. I'm a supervisor myself and I do employee reviews. The kind of review you're talking about is a 180 degree one, we don't do them at my office. It's on this review that you get feedback from your co-workers and supervisor, and they're weighted, say 80%/20% to come up to your raise or review marks.

I used to be a workaholic before having my DS 3 years ago. I'd be the last one to leave on Christmas eve, work weekends, late nights, etc. When I had my DS, that changed. I now work a flex schedule, 10 hours a day x 4 days, and I hear it almost every week how they can't schedule meetings, events, etc., on Wednesday's when i'm not in the office. To them, i'm "absent" every wednesday, and I used to care a lot more about it, but now I try and just not worry. I put in my 40 hours just like everyone else. I'm at my desk at 7:30 and the others come in at 9. It's easy to forget that when they see me not there on my day off.

As a supervisor myself, it's tricky. Everyone here watches the clock and it's hard to find a business that doesn't. Time is money and as far as my boss is concerned, when i'm here/not here, it's company time. You did the right thing about noting it to your supervisor. Unfortunately, you'll have people at work who work the day after their mom dies, and they'll probably be the ones to comment you're not there, even though you're due the time.

All I can say is that you're not alone.

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by annemariec
Well, if it's approved with management, I still have my doubts to the "legality of it".

I would hold my cards close to my chest. Looks like you have people that like to talk and "notice".

I wouldn't disclose why I was taking off to anyone but management. If someone asked me, I'd ask, "That's funny, why do you want to know that?". If they say I'm just showing concern for you and your family (yeah, right). I'd say, "That's very nice of you. How's your family?" And go in a new topical direction.

Annemarie

Easy to notice, I am female and have an office. Most are cubes here. I am a manager, even more apparent.

They make a point to ask the next day "You feeling better?" Then I say, it was my kid(s). Even if I don't say why I was out, people will ask my supervisor and he tells them.

 

[raidermatt]

Its a HUGE mistake to point to the comments of others as being justification for a problem with you (not that there really is a problem).

It pits employees against each other, which harms teamwork.

If your manager has a problem with it, he should be saying HE has a problem with it, and HE thinks its harmful to the team work environment, etc, etc, etc.

That aside, it does sound like he's being a bit two-faced. But since the review is positive overall, I wouldn't sweat it.

 

[Lewski709]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
To them, i'm "absent" every wednesday, and I used to care a lot more about it, but now I try and just not worry. I put in my 40 hours just like everyone else. I'm at my desk at 7:30 and the others come in at 9. It's easy to forget that when they see me not there on my day off.

YES! Exactly. I am still getting my work done and putting in my 40.

 

[Blondie]

In this town, God forbid if you call out sick and you are spotted in the grocery store, pharmacy or where ever!

It will be talked about the next day at work, so you better come in prepared with an explanation. Silly isn't it.

 

[Lewski709]

If it's an issue get rid of me, if it's "ok, shhhhhhhhh" don't write it in my review. That's MHO.