Retard

[PlainJane]

I thought 'developmentally ********' was a genuine phrase.

He wasn't refering to a mental or physical condition, he was saying something that someone had done was ********.

 

["Got Disney"]

He wasn't refering to a mental or physical condition, he was saying something that someone had done was ********.

Thats like saying that someone is more and above the term "Stupid" ..or did something more or above the term stupid....

I dont hear it that often anymore just everyonce in awhile.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

But we have a Gay and Lesbian at Disney board! Surely it is not the word but the usage of the word which is the problem.

It's absolutely not the word itself.

 

[Goofyluver]

Explain to me why using the word "retard" is any better than using any other derogatory word. Yes, there are other meanings for the word. But, that is not what the OP is speaking of.

My son is cognitively delayed. And that word..."retard"...it cuts me like a knife. It's no different than if he were African American and someone called him a name.

People abuse the word...they use it to attack and demean. And that is what makes it just as wrong as using a racial or ethnic slur---both of which attack and demean.

It's unacceptable and people should never say it.

Take a walk in my life and then speak to how the word is not as bad as other words.

You try to help your son see why others call him names...when all he does is work as hard as he can to get by. You try to help your 6th grade child understand why everyone else around him can do things that he can't. You try to help forge relationships between your child and other children when he is cognitively and developmentally 4-5 years behind his age peers. You try to go to sleep every night when all you can do is worry about what your child's life will be like when he can't get past a second grade reading level. You try to comfort a child who is in tears because someone made fun of him because he couldn't answer a question in class over multiplication, when he doesn't even know what multiplication is. You try to hold and calm down your baby when someone calls him a "retard."


Ohhhh...but it's not that bad right???

This word is socially acceptable and it shouldn't be. I understand exactly what the OP was speaking of. Words hurt...

 

[Goofyluver]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";19661433]Thats like saying that someone is more and above the term "Stupid" ..or did something more or above the term stupid....
[/QUOTE]

Unacceptable as well.

 

[momof2inPA]

Explain to me why using the word "retard" is any better than using any other derogatory word. Yes, there are other meanings for the word. But, that is not what the OP is speaking of.

My son is cognitively delayed. And that word..."retard"...it cuts me like a knife. It's no different than if he were African American and someone called him a name.

People abuse the word...they use it to attack and demean. And that is what makes it just as wrong as using a racial or ethnic slur---both of which attack and demean.

It's unacceptable and people should never say it.

I'm guessing that most of the people defending the use of the term "retard" or saying it isn't as bad as the "N" word, actually use it in conversation or allow their kids to use it.

 

[6TimeMomma]

If you are mentally ********, how is that different from being called a Downie or Developmentally Disabled?

For what it's worth, it would bother me for someone to call my son a "Downie" also.

 

[Andy B]

Explain to me why using the word "retard" is any better than using any other derogatory word. Yes, there are other meanings for the word. But, that is not what the OP is speaking of.

My son is cognitively delayed. And that word..."retard"...it cuts me like a knife. It's no different than if he were African American and someone called him a name.

People abuse the word...they use it to attack and demene. And that is what makes it just as wrong as using a racial or ethnic slur---both of which attack and demean.

It's unacceptable and people should never say it.

Take a walk in my life and then speak to how the word is not as bad as other words.

You try to help your son see why others call him names...when all he does is work as hard as he can to get by. You try to help your 6th grade child understand why everyone else around him can do things that he can't. You try to help forge relationships between your child and other children when he is cognitively and developmentally 4-5 years behind his age peers. You try to go to sleep every night when all you can do is worry about what your child's life will be like when he can't get past a second grade reading level. You try to comfort a child who is in tears because someone made fun of him because he couldn't answer a question in class over multiplication, when he doesn't even know what multiplication is. You try to hold and calm down your baby when someone calls him a "retard."


Ohhhh...but it's not that bad right???

This word is socially acceptable and it shouldn't be. I understand exactly what the OP was speaking of. Words hurt...

I feel I can't agree, retard and gay both have perfectly acceptable meanngs and usage it is the insulting usage which is wrong and should not be used, the 'N' word does not have acceptable usage in my eyes and should never be used.

The OP likened retard to the 'N word' when clearly it is not the same. However I agree that it should not be used in the context in which it has mostly been discussed.

 

[Andy B]

I'm guessing that most of the people defending the use of the term "retard" or saying it isn't as bad as the "N" word, actually use it in conversation or allow their kids to use it.

I am saying that retard is a perfectly acceptable word for 'to slow'.

What I am concerned about is the removing from use a word for the sake of a single unacceptable meaning.

 

[Cool-Beans]

OK, throwing myself to the lions here, I confess that I say things are "gay." I said it constantly as a teen. Things were gay, people were gay, clothes, situations, ideas, etc. Some things were just "gay" while others were "totally gay." It still slips out of my mouth sometimes, even though I do try to speak like an adult IRL.

However, it has no more to do with the meaning of "gay" as in "homosexual" than gay/"homosexual" has to do with the meaning gay/"happy, lively." All three uses are totally different.

It is in no way intended as an insult to gay people. Like I said, it has an entirely different meaning. And one all its own.

So, there you go.

 

[Andy B]

OK, throwing myself to the lions here, I confess that I say things are "gay." I said it constantly as a teen. Things were gay, people were gay, clothes, situations, ideas, etc. Some things were just "gay" while others were "totally gay." It still slips out of my mouth sometimes, even though I do try to speak like an adult IRL.

However, it has no more to do with the meaning of "gay" as in "homosexual" than gay/"homosexual" has to do with the meaning gay/"happy, lively." All three uses are totally different.

It is in no way intended as an insult to gay people. Like I said, it has an entirely different meaning. And one all its own.

So, there you go.

What meanng is it meant to have in this situation?

I think the use of 'gay' by teens now is used as an insult.

 

[djm99]

Even though both have a stigma attached to them, I don't think retard is anywhere as bad as the "N" word. I don't think people should be called either.

Wow Charade, the heavens are open to us all, I totally agree with you.

 

[Kimmie5870]

IMO using ****** , Retard or Gay to demean someone is all equally nasty and totally uncalled for

 

[TinkerbellMama]

We use the word retard sometimes. It means to delay, and is particularly useful when writing up science experiments.

I teach my son that there are no bad words, per se...only words which engender strong emotional reactions in others for various (completely understandable) reasons. (And yes, we have already had a discussion about this, because he learned to yell DAMMIT from my MIL, who is currently on my BEEPlist!) It also depends on context, as exemplified above. I figure if I work hard enough on his character, I won't have to ban the use of particular words to get my point across. He will understand that words can hurt and what matters is his intention. You can't ban a word and expect people who don't give a rat's behind about the feelings of others to stop using it just because they are told not to. But you and I (addressing parents of young children now) CAN raise a generation of human beings who are decent and kind, and do not wish to cause anyone emotional harm.

 

[freckles and boo]

What meanng is it meant to have in this situation?

I think the use of 'gay' by teens now is used as an insult.

As is the word "retard" when used as a noun. It doesn't mean "to slow or impede" to your average teenager here in the US. It is a way to cut someone down and insult them. When they use the term "********" it is also an insult. "That is so gay" or "That is ********" may seem benign, especially when they aren't directed at an individual who is gay or mentally ********, but what they mean is that being gay or ******** is being less than worthy. Nobody is suggesting that we remove the words gay or ******** from the language, unlike the n word (which should go away completely). I think the OP is saying that it is unacceptable when used as an insult. I agree.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I am saying that retard is a perfectly acceptable word for 'to slow'.

What I am concerned about is the removing from use a word for the sake of a single unacceptable meaning.

I should have read ahead, Andy. I agree with you 100%.

 

[PlainJane]

I disagree, because those most hurt by the misuse of the word retard (or its variations) are often the least equipped to be able to verbally defend or assert themselves.

Very well said.

[QUOTE="Got Disney";19661433]Thats like saying that someone is more and above the term "Stupid" ..or did something more or above the term stupid....

I dont hear it that often anymore just everyonce in awhile.[/QUOTE]

It's probably because I'm tired, but I honestly have no idea what you are trying to say to me. If you wouldn't mind, I would appreciate clarification.

 

[Charade]

What if we taught that there were no such things as "bad" words and that words are what *you* make of them. Then no one would be offended.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

What if we taught that there were no such things as "bad" words and that words are what *you* make of them. Then no one would be offended.

Well, personally, I *DO take this stance. No one has the power to degrade me without my assent, period. I consider the source when someone says something nasty to me! However, I will still explain to my son that words can be abusive. Even WITHOUT using taboo or curse words, words can be weapons. I want him to understand the principles of basic human decency much moreso than I want him to just not say any particular word or words. But I wouldn't be happy if he said certain words with the intent to hurt others, either. Not happy at all. I want him to make the choice because he is a kind, thoughtful person...NOT because he's been told DON'T EVER SAY THAT!!!!!

 

[monkeyboy]

Retard = slow such as Fire retardand

Special (needs)= people