Retard

[Mouse House Mama]

I see people have posted that argument but IMO it doesn't make it acceptable just because the people involved don't take offense. I've seen planry of people not care that that people were called 'tards either.

Now I am not saying it is acceptable at all, but if a group of people are talking to each other using a word like the "N" word and Joe Blow comes up and uses it too and they are offended then that is just ridiculous! I do also agree that not every person uses that word and finds it acceptable but I think in this situation we are talking about those that do. JMHO.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Now I am not saying it is acceptable at all, but if a group of people are talking to each other using a word like the "N" word and Joe Blow comes up and uses it too and they are offended then that is just ridiculous! I do also agree that not every person uses that word and finds it acceptable but I think in this situation we are talking about those that do. JMHO.

I just don't understand why ANYONE WANTS to use the N word? It doesn't matter what you hear others saying. If you know something is wrong, you don't repeat it.

To be honest I've never heard a white person use the N word. I do hear black and Spanish people (Puerto Rican and Dominican) using it all the time.

I don't use the word. When I hear it, I just roll my eyes and shake my head. I'll admit, if I heard a white person use it would bother me.

 

[gemmie214]

A downie? People actually call someone with Down's Syndrome a "downie?!" Of all things! That's awful!! Same thing with "aspie."

My friends that happen to be Asperger actually call themselves Aspie's and not just as a greeting among themselves. In this area at least, it is just a nic-name for Asperger.

 

[poohandwendy]

I don't like the word 'retard' used in a derogatory way, but I don't think it is offensive in every respect (just depends on the intent of the person talking) Actually, with anything I generally go with the intent rather than just find an offense when one isn't intended.

I do wonder, though, how many people are offended by the use of 'retard', yet have no problem using the word 'psycho', 'mental' or 'schizo' in a derogatory way? Just food for thought.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I just don't understand why ANYONE WANTS to use the N word? It doesn't matter what you hear others saying. If you know something is wrong, you don't repeat it.

To be honest I've never heard a white person use the N word. I do hear black and Spanish people (Puerto Rican and Dominican) using it all the time. I don't use the word. When I hear it, I just roll my eyes and shake my head. I'll admit, if I heard a white person use it would bother me.

I bolded that because that is my point. Potentially this particular ethnic group would be the most offended by the word. So why is it acceptable for them to use it yet frowned at and wrong if someone else uses it?

 

[momof2inPA]

I don't like the word 'retard' used in a derogatory way, but I don't think it is offensive in every respect (just depends on the intent of the person talking) Actually, with anything I generally go with the intent rather than just find an offense when one isn't intended.

I do wonder, though, how many people are offended by the use of 'retard', yet have no problem using the word 'psycho', 'mental' or 'schizo' in a derogatory way? Just food for thought.

Or "nuts" or "crazy." I try not to say those (but sometimes slip up) as I know they can be hurtful to others. Although those words have been used for many years, "retard" has only become popularized in the last ten or so years. For me, it's impossible to look at their intent when people are using it in a derrogatory manner. "Hey, Todd, you're such a retard." "Don't wear that shirt, it looks ********." If you're vocabulary isn't severely limited, why say it? The only excuse I can offer is some people don't realize it's a hurtful term, but I think the majority of people who use it look down on the mentally handicapped.

 

[cardaway]

I don't like the word 'retard' used in a derogatory way, but I don't think it is offensive in every respect (just depends on the intent of the person talking) Actually, with anything I generally go with the intent rather than just find an offense when one isn't intended.

I do wonder, though, how many people are offended by the use of 'retard', yet have no problem using the word 'psycho', 'mental' or 'schizo' in a derogatory way? Just food for thought.

Bingo. And if they are not using it towards you or the ones you care about, what's the big deal. If somebody is getting really upset at the things are people are saying in their conversations, maybe they should stop listening into their conversations. If it's a song or TV show, turn it off.

 

[6TimeMomma]

I see people have posted that argument but IMO it doesn't make it acceptable just because the people involved don't take offense. I've seen planry of people not care that that people were called 'tards either.

That's the point though, that even though some people may find the word acceptable doesn't make it acceptable...ie the use of the word retard.

 

[6TimeMomma]

Not all black people use the N word.

Never said they did.

 

[cardaway]

That's the point though, that even though some people may find the word acceptable doesn't make it acceptable...ie the use of the word retard.

So if I choose to believe the word booger is unacceptable (and I actually don't like it much) does that mean I get to say nobody else gets to use it? Of course not. If you don't find a word acceptable, don't use it.

I don't use retard or any racial slurs on a regular basis (or listen to music that does), but I'm not going o freak out when others use them eihter unless they are directed at me.

 

[6TimeMomma]

Bingo. And if they are not using it towards you or the ones you care about, what's the big deal. If somebody is getting really upset at the things are people are saying in their conversations, maybe they should stop listening into their conversations. If it's a song or TV show, turn it off.

It's a big deal because the implication is that being "********" is a bad thing. That people who are "********" are less than worthwhile. And it is difficult to not listen in on a conversation that you are part of. I think the difference in your opinon (and those who don't see a problem using the word) and mine stems, perhaps, from the fact that you don't have a child with a mental disability. I think most, if not all, people who deal with it on a day to day basis do, in fact, find it offensive.

And, in the same token, being as that I feel the n word is just as bad as the r word stems from the fact that I am not black. If I were, maybe I would see that differenly as well.

You'll just have to take my word that hearing someone call someone else a "retard" ina derogatory way is very hurtful. It has nothing to do with us being oversensitive, etc.

 

[6TimeMomma]

So if I choose to believe the word booger is unacceptable (and I actually don't like it much) does that mean I get to say nobody else gets to use it? Of course not. If you don't find a word acceptable, don't use it.

I don't use retard or any racial slurs on a regular basis (or listen to music that does), but I'm not going o freak out when others use them eihter unless they are directed at me.

If you had a child who had a severe booger condition that affected his and your life every minute of every day, then yes, you would have the right, IMO to ask others to not call people boogerheads in your presence. Otherwise, I think your agument here is totally off the issue.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to add...

The "R" word (no, not Republican ) is one that confuses me. I do understand the offensive way it can be used. I am not big fan of that. I do find it ironic that the Christian denomination to which I belong has an active ministry called "The United Methodist Agency for the ********". It is almost always referred to using the acronym UMAR. I've never been real comfortable with the name of that agency, but I suppose when it was created (in the 1970's) that word did not carry the baggage that it does today.

 

[dzorn]

Got your attention? Good.

Please teach your children (esp. your teenagers) that this is right up there with the N Word

I personally think the world would be a better place if everyone taught their kids this. Of course parents need to set an example.

Denise in MI

 

[Rence]

The use of certain words bothers people. The N word, retard when used as a pejorative, the word gay as a synonym for lame and many many others

Polite people avoid doing things that will bother other people. They may agree or disagree, but as a common courtesy they respect the views of others and refrain from using language that others may find upsetting.

There is some word usage that doesn't bother me, but I know it bothers others. In some cases I may personally feel that their views are a bit silly, but it doesn't matter, out of respect for other people, I refrain from using it.

 

[cardaway]

If you had a child who had a severe booger condition that affected his and your life every minute of every day, then yes, you would have the right, IMO to ask others to not call people boogerheads in your presence. Otherwise, I think your agument here is totally off the issue.

And again, if they people are not talking to you there is nothing forcing you to listen.

IMO a great example is Howard Stern. He uses the word retard all the time. One character even has/had the word in his name on the show (not sure the character is still on). Do I agree with it? No. Did that one thing keep me from listening when he was on our local station. No. And anybody else who disagrees with the usage isn't forced to listen.

 

[6TimeMomma]

And again, if they people are not talking to you there is nothing forcing you to listen.

IMO a great example is Howard Stern. He uses the word retard all the time. One character even has/had the word in his name on the show (not sure the character is still on). Do I agree with it? No. Did that one thing keep me from listening when he was on our local station. No. And anybody else who disagrees with the usage isn't forced to listen.

Again, if someone is talking to you it is hard not to listen, isn't it. And if someone is talking right next to me, I am not going to plug my ears, that would look rather silly. The thing I am saying is it is an ugly term. I feel people should learn that it is a derogatory term and shoud be encouraged NOT to use it. And, that actually IS the only reason I don't listen to or watch Stern anymore.

 

[cardaway]

Again, if someone is talking to you it is hard not to listen, isn't it. And if someone is talking right next to me, I am not going to plug my ears, that would look rather silly. The thing I am saying is it is an ugly term. I feel people should learn that it is a derogatory term and shoud be encouraged NOT to use it.

I never said it was a great things and I'm quite sure there are words you and others would use that I would find unacceptable. Sometimes we just got to tune people out and go on.

 

[poohandwendy]

It's a big deal because the implication is that being "********" is a bad thing. That people who are "********" are less than worthwhile. And it is difficult to not listen in on a conversation that you are part of. I think the difference in your opinon (and those who don't see a problem using the word) and mine stems, perhaps, from the fact that you don't have a child with a mental disability. I think most, if not all, people who deal with it on a day to day basis do, in fact, find it offensive.

I understand your POV, but on the other hand, when I apply that to my family situation I guess I just fall back on the fact that part of life is dealing with the knowledge that most other people do not have my specific experience and unless they are trying to attack me or my loved one, I find it best to shrug it off and know they mean no harm.

What I mentioned before it 'psycho/mental/schizo' because they are very commonly used terms used in a derogatory way and I have a sister who has spent the majority of her adult life in those very states. But, do people really mean an attack on my sister when they say those terms? Are they really saying she isn't worthy? I don't think so.

We all say things all of the time that could strike a nerve in someone else, "I would kill myself if..." could sting to someone who has lost a family member to suicide.

I guess that is why I try to not take offense unless it is purposely directed at me.

 

[cardaway]

What I mentioned before it 'psycho/mental/schizo' because they are very commonly used terms used in a derogatory way and I have a sister who has spent the majority of her adult life in those very states. But, do people really mean an attack on my sister when they say those terms? Are they really saying she isn't worthy? I don't think so.

We all say things all of the time that could strike a nerve in someone else, "I would kill myself if..." could sting to someone who has lost a family member to suicide.

I guess that is why I try to not take offense unless it is purposely directed at me.

Exactly what I was trying to say. In fact my sister is in the same boat (but doing much ebtter now). Who knows what kind of thing could be normal for some but set others off?