Retard

[cardaway]

This is getting out of hand. I'm not going to repeat myself or defend myself anymore against things I didn't post.

Have a good night everybody.

 

[LotsOfQuestions]

As for proving a point, you're doing quite well there yourself.

Thank you. I certainly hope so.

 

[6TimeMomma]

This is getting out of hand. I'm not going to repeat myself or defend myself anymore against things I didn't post.

Have a good night everybody.

But you DID post it was no big deal, so not putting words in your mouth there.

Good night.

 

[LotsOfQuestions]

I'm sorry, but retard(ed) is no way as bad a word as the N word.
The word retard actually means to impede, to hinder or to cause to slow down. For example, the doctor might tell the mother of a sick child "Be sure to give your daughter this medicine twice a day because the virus she has contracted could very easily retard her growth for the next couple of years"
The phrase mentally ********, literally means that somebody's mental capacity is hindered, or slower than normal.
Unfortunately there are many people who have taken this word and changed it to be an insult to somebody who is mentally limited. But the use of the word itself is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact the example someone gave of Dr. Phil calling something ******** is not really a bad thing. He was saying that something was not right, something was preventing one object from functioning like it ought to. Something was retarding it from being what it should be.
I know there are many people who use this word in a negative, slandering way, but that does not mean that the word itself is a bad word.
The N word on the other hand has but one meaning, and it is always used in a negative, offensive manner.

Actually, you are wrong here. The word ****** comes from the Latin Niger meaning black. The word was originally used just to describe the skin color of people. Just like we do now, white, black, African-American, etc. There are many instances of early literature with the word ****** in it with absolutely no intent of a racial slur.

However, around the 1800's the word began to change its meaning to become the foulest of slurs. JUST Like the word retard has changed its meaning to become a derogatory word.

So, you are wrong in that ****** was always used in a negative, offensive manner. It evolved to its offensive manner, much like retard is evolving.

 

[LotsOfQuestions]

Anyone with an IQ below 70 has a diagnosis of Mentally ********. When the state of Missouri changed (again) to that wording it was hard to swallow for some. Up until maybe 2002 students had an Educable Mentally Handicap 'title'. I guess because I understand what retardation is (and I'm constantly re-explaining it to my students and parents) it doesn't bother me so much. I just think the individuals that spit out ‘retard’ are ignorant at best. I totally understand and see the value of individuals with that 'label'. I see what they can and how they often function in our society as solid law abiding citizens.
.

So, I guess what you are saying is that because I value the Black race, that it would be just "ignorant at best" if I use ****** (the N word) as an insult?

 

[darlak]

I am the mother of a beautiful 29-year-old daughter who just happens to be hearing impaired....or....as we have heard all of her life "deaf and dumb". It's an old term that actually means one cannot hear or speak. Even though it's an old term, many children still use it and think that the word "dumb" means stupid. My daughter has a slightly above average IQ, so she certainly isn't dumb, yet she's heard that term her whole life. I don't like it and neither does she, but rather than get angry about the words, we've chosen to simply try to understand and forgive the ignorance of those that use them.

In my experience, raising a handicapped child comes with many challenges, ranging from the everyday struggle of learning to live in a hearing world to the yearly battles we had with a school system that felt my child couldn't earn a "regular" diploma. (She could and did.) I guess my point is that with so many battles to fight, "words" just hardly seemed worth my time and effort. I just made sure my child understood the ignorance of those that used that term and we moved on...time and time again.

There are many words I don't like and personally choose not to use and teach my children that they could be hurtful, but I understand that I have no control over what other people say and I choose not to let their words influence my life, or for that matter, even ruin my day.

 

[Nancyg56]

I care because my daughter is ********. The struggle for acceptance in the world she lives in is difficult enough without it being ok to use her learning capabilities as an insult for other people.

As long as it is socially acceptable to continue to demean a group of people by using their disability as an insult for others, my daughter's struggle and those like her will continue to be extremely difficult. Because deep down, if you call somebody else a "retard" when they do something stupid, then you do believe that all ******** people are inferior.

It is not the word itself, it is the way it is used and the meaning behind it.

****** comes from the slave era and is derogatory because the meaning behind it implies inferior people. That is why it is such taboo.

Retard is similarly derogatory because the meaning behind it when used as an insult implies inferior people.

And when it is acceptable to label a group of people inferior by using them as the basis of an insult, even in casual conversation, then our children will continue to struggle with the respect and acceptance they deserve as people, not retards.

I just received an e-mail from our local Down syndrome chapter to write an e-mail to the Today show regarding their segment on trophy wives. Apparently Donny Deutsch from CNBC stated that most American men are not "Retards" and thus would never choose much younger wives. This immediately sends out the message that people with mental retardation are somehow not as valued as "typical" people. That they are inferior.

I may be a bit different in that I will shrug off references to my daughter as a retard, mongoloid, etc. Because she is ********. She does have Down syndrome. That is just ignorance.

But when people, especially celebrities, use my daughter's learning capabilities to categorize another's stupidity, then they are telling the world my child is not worth as much as the regular guys who wouldn't do something that stupid.

When it is socially acceptable for two kids to call each other retards when they throw a foul ball or miss a basket, then it is socially acceptable to perpetuate the stereotype that people with mental retardation are stupid and inferior. This mindset stays with these kids subconsciously and makes it that much harder for them to see through a person's disability when they encounter a person with mental retardation. That makes my child's life more difficult. And that is why I care.

Thank you. I am appalled that so many have been able to shrug off such a derogatory use of a word because they are not offended by it or because they have not had to console someone who has been subjected to the term in order to cause pain. Our school systems battle the powerful connotation of these words daily because they deal with the results that these verbal blows cause daily. It would be nice if the lessons were reinforced by adults who hears these names so that perhaps they are not acceptable to anyone any longer.

My aunts were not personally offended by the n word but that did not mean that when they said it in my presence I did not tell them that the word was hurtful and should not be used. You never know who is within hearing distance and because you did not intend to demean someone does not change that you did.

 

[cardaway]

You know... if you believe he word reatrd is on the level of ****** why not lobby the DIS to put in on the word filter and why are you not upset that it's currently not. By the posts I've read here it must be some kind of smack in the face to to thoe affected that places like the DIS censor some words but not others, right? Or is it true that there actually is a difference and the DIS is right in not including retard on the list of censored words.

 

[freckles and boo]

You know... if you believe he word reatrd is on the level of ****** why not lobby the DIS to put in on the word filter and why are you not upset that it's currently not. By the posts I've read here it must be some kind of smack in the face to to thoe affected that places like the DIS censor some words but not others, right? Or is it true that there actually is a difference and the DIS is right in not including retard on the list of censored words.

Who said the word should be censored? I don't like that any of these words are censored because context is everything. Clearly it is the usage and not the word itself that is the problem.

 

[cardaway]

Who said the word should be censored? I don't like that any of these words are censored because context is everything. Clearly it is the usage and not the word itself that is the problem.

Nobody said the owrd should be censoredb but there was more than one post aobut how they words fall under the same category. I am genuinely curious why it's necssary for some words to be ceonsored and others that supposedly are in the same cateogry are not.

And FTR, I agree. I would like to see the word censors come off entirely. It's not like people, including kids, cannot figure out what was being written. In fact it just brings more attention to them.

 

[Goofyluver]

You know... if you believe he word reatrd is on the level of ****** why not lobby the DIS to put in on the word filter and why are you not upset that it's currently not. By the posts I've read here it must be some kind of smack in the face to to thoe affected that places like the DIS censor some words but not others, right? Or is it true that there actually is a difference and the DIS is right in not including retard on the list of censored words.

Personally, I find some of the words that are censored ridiculous. Because I agree, that it is in the message and the delivery. There are correct uses for many words, including the word "retard." Those are not what offend. Those are not what hurt. HYE read a post in which you have no idea what word is censored? Sometimes you can't even tell.

I still don't think you should abuse words such as this and use them in a derogatory manner. I still don't care if you're speaking to me or another person. IMO, saying something is "********" or calling a person a "retard" is offensive, and by ignoring it, I feel I am condoning it.

BUT---although I may find it offensive and I don't think it should be said...and depending on who the person is, I may or may not say something (for instance if I know the person I would absolutely speak up---I wouldn't say anything to a stranger but I would be offended), I would never censor someone. You have the right to say what you want...I may disagree with you and I may find what you say offensive, but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to say what you're going to say.

Doesn't change the fact that I think people use hateful language and think that certain words are inappropriate.

 

[freckles and boo]

The words fall into the same category when used in derogatory ways because they do the same thing. They minimize someone - either directly or indirectly. I am sure the time will come in the near future when someone will begin using the term "autistic" as a slam. It is almost inevitable as those (1 in every 150) children who fall on the spectrum get out there in the big world. My five-year-old daughter isn't mentally ******** but she is autistic. Someone asked her seven-year-old sister if she was a retard. My seven-year-old had never heard the word before and had no idea what it meant. I understand the pain these parents are feeling. It is tough enough without some rude or thoughtless kid (or adult) tossing out insults.

 

[cardaway]

BUT---although I may find it offensive and I don't think it should be said...and depending on who the person is, I may or may not say something (for instance if I know the person I would absolutely speak up---I wouldn't say anything to a stranger but I would be offended), I would never censor someone. You have the right to say what you want...I may disagree with you and I may find what you say offensive, but that doesn't mean you don't have the right to say what you're going to say.

But saying something to a complete sntranger is what this thread has been about ever since somebody posted they would say soemthing to a stranger even though they were the ones intruding in their conversation.

 

[Goofyluver]

But saying something to a complete sntranger is what this thread has been about from the beginning.

I don't think so. The OP said that the word "retard" should be right up there with the "n" word. I agree that it is just as offensive and just as demeaning and just as hurtful. Doesn't mean I'll attack...doesn't mean I'll tell someone what I think of them for saying it...

The OP said nothing about overhearing strangers speaking. Just said hates hearing people say it. And I do too.

Doesn't mean I believe in censorship.

 

[djm99]

So, I guess what you are saying is that because I value the Black race, that it would be just "ignorant at best" if I use ****** (the N word) as an insult?

Yes I would - ignorant is a lack of knowledge. Those who choose to use those words in 'friendly' or in unfriendly conversation are ignorant - at best - meaning its many many adjectives that could be used in place of ignorant - but at best - the adjective ignorant was used.

I'm really not sure where you are going or trying to go in your comment. I think your trying so hard to defend something that doesn't need defending. People are ignorant. Its because of that lack of knowledge that so many use derogatory words. Those same individuals that spit out the word 'retard' would re-think that term if someone they loved were really ********. In that same 'light' those who spit out the N word (be them black or non-black) is a sign of ignorance. Both are offensive.

 

[hentob]

OP here. I guess I can't understand the folks saying that one negative word is worse than another

Once again--NOBODY gets to corner the market on offensive labels. Why would ANYONE challenge the fact that one "name calling" is worse than any other

IMO-They are all "up there".

Again--Just my opinion. Thank you for those that saw my point