Repost: Parent of Kids please read

[flipturngirl]

I previously posted: Hi! I have been to Disney several times. Each time I have seen kids screaming and yelling because they have not had naps. I personally think you need to have a 2 hour a day nap time and then go back to the park. The kids should be well rested to go back to the park and stay there till 11. I have seen so many families rushing back at 8 to get there kids to bed at 9. I think YOU ARE ON VACATION!!! Vacation is- when you are away from home, your daily scedual etc. Daily schedual means waking up go to work come home go to bed do it all over again. Just go with the flow. When I was little we did not have to go back to the hotel at 8 or 9 to get to bed we stayed up all night and got up at 5 or 4:30 and we were fine that is because we got naps. Please reply on what you think of this.

Well now that I read what everyone responded to. I just wanted to put what I thought into it. I am sorry if you think that I am wrong but that is what I am used to also, it is just an opinion just becuase Flipturngirl said something does not mean that I do not know what is going on. I know each child is different but that is just what I had to say. I hope that you can forgive me because some people say that I can not say anything because I do not know what it is like to have a child of my own. Well I can say that I do not but I do have a younger sibling and she did not want to go on any rides or anything a whole trip we were there. I am just saying that you all can not go and say that I can not give my opinon because I am only 16 well it is my opinion and even though I do not have children I can say what I think. Please forgive me if I hurt any of your feelings because I put in a word or two about what I thought. I thought that the Disboards was supposed to be about: Ideas, Opinions and for fun. But I do not know anymore.

 

[megan4777]

Your opinion is a valid one even though you are just 16.
I think you should have thought how to word your opinions better before you posted them. I honestly think if you have put them up as a "big sister" or "a babysitter's" thoughts you wouldn't have received so many opinions about them being completely wrong and off base.
I don't want anyone to think I think what you posted is correct. However, I do think if you have any observations as a babysitter or a big sister, you should post them as such...
I know that I would listen to you b/c as an adult (and I hate to admit that at times!!!) we could use someone to help us relate to a kid!!!
thank-you for posting...


edited to add....
oh, I haven't even taken my 2 yr old and 4 m. old to Disney yet. It will happen in a month!!! I will, however, listen to anyone who has an opinion about what will make our trip easier

Flipturngirl...is your favorite char tink???

 

[surfgirl]

So why the re-post ? I think this topic has had enough play between the few different topics about it.

Flipturngirl, you had an opinion, you stated it, a thread went on. Instead of starting another thread with the same information just to keep the (sometimes heated) debate going, post within the original.

You also got very defensive when others disagreed with your OP - however, in the OP, you "screamed" at others by typing in all caps. You cannot expect to post on a controversial topic, "scream", and then have other posters agree and be all hugs.

How can you flame someone else (those who don't follow "your" vacation philosophy) and then not expect flames in return?

Mod, this thread should be closed.

 

[estherhead]

Passion begets passion. No one hates you and this is still a board for sharing ideas. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, however if you put your opinion out there then you must be prepared to hear everyone else's. You even invited everyone to comment.

Having teenagers on this board is wonderful, and valuable. But please be assured that we all do understand the value of naps for toddlers and babies. I'm sure your heart was sad for the other people who seemed to not be having fun. I'm always saddened by that too. But there are lots of people who have very tricky situations that we could not possibly understand. Children with actual emotional or mental disorders, parents who are teetering on divorce and taking one final shot at making it work, use your imagination to guess and even still you won't be able to imagine.

Therefore, general statements often get specific reactions. I believe that is what you experienced and perhaps instead of condemning the board for not accepting your ideas, you might gain experience from this. Ideas are powerful. And should not be tossed around too lightly.

Presidents get elected, countries get formed, wars are fought, all because of idea sharing.

 

[JenDaveBrendan]

Mod, this thread should be closed.

I agree, this is getting ridiculous.......

 

[Nancyg56]

I previously posted: :

Well now that I read what everyone responded to. I just wanted to put what I thought into it. I am sorry if you think that I am wrong but that is what I am used to also, it is just an opinion just becuase Flipturngirl said something does not mean that I do not know what is going on. I know each child is different but that is just what I had to say. I hope that you can forgive me because some people say that I can not say anything because I do not know what it is like to have a child of my own. Well I can say that I do not but I do have a younger sibling and she did not want to go on any rides or anything a whole trip we were there. I am just saying that you all can not go and say that I can not give my opinon because I am only 16 well it is my opinion and even though I do not have children I can say what I think. Please forgive me if I hurt any of your feelings because I put in a word or two about what I thought. I thought that the Disboards was supposed to be about: Ideas, Opinions and for fun. But I do not know anymore.

Flipturngirl, You are entitled to an opinion, based on your observations. I agree with Megan that if worded differently, the reaction may have been different. Parenting is difficult, and vacationing with children can be challenging. So many people observe a child acting out, and judge a parents reaction to the meltdown without knowing the family history, and I think that we are all guilty of it at one time. Some people try to assist the parent, some make derogatory comments. Perhaps you could frame your observations in a gentler manner that would encourage an exchange of ideas rather that in a manner that would fan flames.

I am relatively new to these boards, and felt that most people responded with their vacation strategy and why it works for them. I also thought that the discussion was rather mild considering the topic. People tend to take their parenting very seriously,and have at times been very hurt by comments from strangers regarding their children's behavior.

I'm sure that you meant well, and wanted to share your family vacation style, and that as an older sibling wanted to share your perspective with others. Be are that inviting comments means that people will respond, and that there are times when you may not agree, or that you may feel hurt by the comments. Best to try to learn how to discuss ideas without hurtingin the first place to invite a friendly exchange of ideas.

Well, I'm off my soapbox, and off to continue planning our family vacation with my 4 year old DGD, who in spite of all of our good intentions and careful planning, will probalbly misbehave on our trip, refuse to nap, stay up too late, and cause my DD to threaten not to increase her family ever again. As the Nana, I will smile at her antics with her Pa, making sure that DGD does not see me. Then I will so gently remind my DD and SIL that this lovely little princess is the spitting image of herself at that age.

 

[crisi]

I think you just need to learn how to word things. You need to think about your audience a little. Imagine if - now that you are 16 and know how high school works - if a fifth grader told you how he'd handle high school. You'll gain the perspective. As you age, every year you learn that you don't know nearly as much as you think you do, and that the next milestones in life are not how you imagined them. You need to learn not to get defensive when people disagree with you, but learn to acknowledge their experiences - i.e. "oh, I thought all kids napped" or "gee, I never thought some of the crying I saw might just be because the kids were being kids."

I think your way of doing Disney would be a great way for certain families - it just isn't universal. One of the pieces of Disney advice I give universally is "get up early, the best park time is first thing!" But I have to acknowledge not everyone wants to get up early on vacation and that some people would prefer arriving at the parks at 11:00. When I think about people coming in from the West coast, suddenly being at the park at 8:45 stops being so attractive - that's 4:45 in the morning their time!

 

[krismom]

oh Lord, please close this thread. Been there. Read that.

 

[ButterflyJen]

Ugh, close them both please.

 

[popeyeohoh]

The kid is only 16 for crying out loud! Her ideas and opinions will change as it has with all of us adults. Now that I have posted this will get closed or just fade naturally.
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[BethR]

Since we no longer have a Debate Board to send this to, and it clearly is a debate, this this thread will be closed.