Relationship problems...UPDATE PG4

[ZPT1022]

Awwwwww to you. I agree with everyone else- go out, take Rick up on his offer, he seems like a fun guy, and don't talk to the ex for a while unless he calls you. Okay, more for good measure

 

[Mysteria]

Did not read the rest of the responses but mine is cut off all ties for now. He is using you hun. He now has someone to confide in and talk to without being committed. I'd bet he'd go for more if he thought he could get away with it. (pm me about the last part if you want. not family friendly)

Myst

 

[Cool-Beans]

If he's "not sure" after six years, he never will be.

I think the smartest thing to do is to break all ties. You can't get over someone you're still talking with. It will be hard, but not as hard as spending more years hanging out with a guy you love who doesn't love you. You're going to have to get over this guy eventually. Sooner is better than later.

Cut the ties, go through the pain. When you finish hurting (and you WILL!) you'll be able to move on and find the man you're destined to fall in love with - the one who will love you back. You might not believe that you'll find him, because you're still thinking this guy is perfect for you and nobody else will be...but he isn't perfect for you. If he were, you'd be married now, not breaking up.

Someone out there IS perfect for you. And when you're no longer carrying the dead weight of a bad relationship around with you, you'll find him. Believe it, because it is true.

 

[dreamcometrue]

I agree...cut him off, don't call, don't contact him! He may miss you so much and can't imagine life without you and come crawling back...or he may not! You have to prepare yourself with that scenario aswell! But at least you can work on dealing with it right now. This calling each other, seeing each other, but him not knowing "for sure" would drive anyone up the wall.

Good luck and

 

[deekaypee]

I'm sorry you're going through this pain and confusion right now.

My two cents: I too think you should stop contact for a while. Not to see figure out if you can eventually friends, not to see if he wants you back, and not because he might be stringing you along. These are all valid concerns, but I think the big reason you should stop contact is so that you can figure out what YOU want. Right now, you're really focused on him: his actions, what he's thinking, etc. That's natural, but I think you should be a little more self-centered at this point (in the best possible way).

Oh, and take Rick up on his offer. He sounds like a lot of fun, and you deserve to be in good company!

 

[Muffy]

As hard as it may be you should stop contacting him and stop taking his calls. It will force him to see what he is giving up. All of this may have a silver lining for you. Mr. Right could be around the corner...

 

[ziggystardust]

Thought I'd update everyone that was nice enough to post (that is if you care to be updated).

So here's what happened. I stopped talking to him and literally 3 days later he calls, saying that he's sorry and that it was wrong. I told him that I couldn't trust him not to do this to me again. He said he knew that and we could do a sort of trial dating thing. Which I agreed to. Not even 2 wks into it I knew it was wrong and that nothing had changed, so I called it off. This was right before Valentine's day.

During the last month and 1/2 I have received many voicemails, emails and IMs. Each of which was met with a I can't talk to you anymore response. I told him I wasn't mad at him, which I'm not. But he didn't really get that I can't have him in my life right now. The last calls I received were on St Pats day which I didn't answer. I got a text message later saying he was done. I didn't really believe it b/c every other convo was left with OK I won't bother you anymore. But thats the last I've heard from him.

I am doing great though. I've become a story that my roommate tells b/c of how well I'm handling everything. I'm going out all the time, meeting a ton of people, including Rick (who is great btw - like you didn't know that). I'm just happy. I did have to say goodbye to my Ziggy (the pug that used to be in my sig) b/c though he was our dog, he lived with ExBf. It was hard but he's better off (I live in an apt and work a lot)

So thats my update. Again, thanks for everything. Your posts really smacked some sense into me.

 

[mommasita]

Thought I'd update everyone that was nice enough to post (that is if you care to be updated).

So here's what happened. I stopped talking to him and literally 3 days later he calls, saying that he's sorry and that it was wrong. I told him that I couldn't trust him not to do this to me again. He said he knew that and we could do a sort of trial dating thing. Which I agreed to. Not even 2 wks into it I knew it was wrong and that nothing had changed, so I called it off. This was right before Valentine's day.

During the last month and 1/2 I have received many voicemails, emails and IMs. Each of which was met with a I can't talk to you anymore response. I told him I wasn't mad at him, which I'm not. But he didn't really get that I can't have him in my life right now. The last calls I received were on St Pats day which I didn't answer. I got a text message later saying he was done. I didn't really believe it b/c every other convo was left with OK I won't bother you anymore. But thats the last I've heard from him.

I am doing great though. I've become a story that my roommate tells b/c of how well I'm handling everything. I'm going out all the time, meeting a ton of people, including Rick (who is great btw - like you didn't know that). I'm just happy. I did have to say goodbye to my Ziggy (the pug that used to be in my sig) b/c though he was our dog, he lived with ExBf. It was hard but he's better off (I live in an apt and work a lot)

So thats my update. Again, thanks for everything. Your posts really smacked some sense into me.

I am glad you are doing ok, despite this. Hugs to you, and enjoy life

 

[epcotfan]

I think you did the right thing. I'm happy to hear you are doing well

 

[Hedy]

 

[KelNottAt]

It sounds like you are - and will be - fine. Everything happens for a reason.

 

[Nancyg56]

I say take Rick up on his offer.

Me too!
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Honestly, I think if says that he is not sure, tell him to take his time and figure it out. Tell him to call when he knows what he wants and that you'll let him know where he stands with you then. In the meantime, you are not available as you also need to rethink the relationship as well. Your shoulder is also busy, so he should call his Mom if he wants to sort his options out. Then call Rick and put on your glad rags.

ETA that I did not check the date before posting, I'm sorry for that. I am glad that you are moving on with your life and ht you are feeling better about what happened between the two of you. Hope that you are having a little fun!

 

[RickinNYC]

Ziggystardust is spookily handling things amazingly well! Eileen (Ziggy), glad all is good! Joe and I really enjoyed meeting you! Now that you know that I know you know I know we're not insane axe murders, when are we getting together for margaritas at 5 Burros??? Joe is hankering and wants to know as well!

you know?

 

[Poohnatic]

Eileen,

I am so happy you updated. You are an awesome, strong amazing person and someday this man will realize all you had to offer.

So very cool that you met with Rick and Joe, will you go have some nachos and margaritas with them and bring a 'flat Suzanne'? That plan Rick has there sounds too good to miss.

Suzanne

 

[RickinNYC]

Eileen,

I am so happy you updated. You are an awesome, strong amazing person and someday this man will realize all you had to offer.

So very cool that you met with Rick and Joe, will you go have some nachos and margaritas with them and bring a 'flat Suzanne'? That plan Rick has there sounds too good to miss.

Suzanne

What in googily moogily is a flat Suzanne, Suzanne?

 

[Pam]

What in googily moogily is a flat Suzanne, Suzanne?

Well, trust me, Rick, I've met Suzanne and she definitely does not qualify as a "flat" Suzanne!

There's a popular children's book called "Flat Stanley" where a cut-out (paper doll type) is sent out and he travels around the USA or even the world with different people. Each person takes Stanley on their trips or even just their day to day lives and snap photos of him. Then they either mail or hand him off to another person. Eventually Stanley makes his way back home, complete with photos and memorabilia of his vacation.

We have done this several times on the DIS - usually it's a poster's child who needs to complete this for a school project.

 

[Missy Mouse]

Thought I'd update everyone that was nice enough to post (that is if you care to be updated).

So here's what happened. I stopped talking to him and literally 3 days later he calls, saying that he's sorry and that it was wrong. I told him that I couldn't trust him not to do this to me again. He said he knew that and we could do a sort of trial dating thing. Which I agreed to. Not even 2 wks into it I knew it was wrong and that nothing had changed, so I called it off. This was right before Valentine's day.

During the last month and 1/2 I have received many voicemails, emails and IMs. Each of which was met with a I can't talk to you anymore response. I told him I wasn't mad at him, which I'm not. But he didn't really get that I can't have him in my life right now. The last calls I received were on St Pats day which I didn't answer. I got a text message later saying he was done. I didn't really believe it b/c every other convo was left with OK I won't bother you anymore. But thats the last I've heard from him.

I am doing great though. I've become a story that my roommate tells b/c of how well I'm handling everything. I'm going out all the time, meeting a ton of people, including Rick (who is great btw - like you didn't know that). I'm just happy. I did have to say goodbye to my Ziggy (the pug that used to be in my sig) b/c though he was our dog, he lived with ExBf. It was hard but he's better off (I live in an apt and work a lot)

So thats my update. Again, thanks for everything. Your posts really smacked some sense into me.

Good for you, girl. You're much more patient than I am. Six years, no ring? I would have said see ya after four!

 

[Poohnatic]

Thanks for explaining, Pam! Yep, I was going to send a picture of me on a stick and you could take me to all the cool NYC haunts that I miss. I think most of my favorites are now gone, though!

I could return the favor and take a Flat Rick to the tourist haunts in Florida.

BTW, Pam, when are you coming back down here?!

Suzanne

 

[Pam]

Thanks for explaining, Pam! Yep, I was going to send a picture of me on a stick and you could take me to all the cool NYC haunts that I miss. I think most of my favorites are now gone, though!

I could return the favor and take a Flat Rick to the tourist haunts in Florida.

BTW, Pam, when are you coming back down here?!

Suzanne

Suzanne,
Probably won't be for awhile.... lots and lots of business conventions are held at WDW -- but I skip a lot of them because I could do conventions all year long and get nothing else done!

A "Flat Rick" --- hmmmm..... Won't say it, won't say -- don't want the points!

Ya know, none of us Ya Yas exactly qualify as "flat", do we?? As Elaine is fond of saying, "We wear our beads well!!"

 

[RickinNYC]

so Pam and Suzanne are now moving into the potentially-dirty zone. i shall back away slooooowly from this thread.

Yo Elaine! Joe and I want some freakin' margaritas and mex food at 5 Burros! Get a move on woman!