Relationship Age Gap

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The couple I know with the largest age gap is my best friend and her husband at nearly 13 years. I don't think it's so much of an issue for him really but it does appear to have weighed in on my best friend's mind. Right now she's 30 and he's turning 43. Once time goes on I don't think the gap will be as big of a deal with the exception of what others have mentioned with retirement age but given that I don't have too much in depth knowledge into their retirement plans I can't speak towards their main concerns with the age gap.

My parents were nearly 7 years difference but the age gap to my knowledge didn't lead to their demise as a married couple.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

We had difficulty finding the ideal fit socially.

That's actually something I hadn't thought of with my best friend. I think for them it helps because a large portion of their friends are more his age. She only has a handful of friends that are our age.

 

[lovin'fl]

DH and I are same age but I could probably handle and older hubby as I am kinda old acting and gel well with older folks.

But we have friends who the hubby is our (me and DH) parents age...70s. The wife is a little older than us at about 52. We've known them for years, due to our DDs playing on same travel team, and back about 7 years ago I was shocked when she, the wife, said she had her grand daughter's HS graduation. We all did a double take. As our DDs were about 12. It was technically her hubby's grand daughter from his first marriage. Anyway, when we traveled for the team, it was always just the wife. We wondered why and then one weekend I brought my mom and she had difficulty with the early rushing to the field and spending all day in the heat on the field and then rushing to eat dinner and back to hotel to shower up and then up early again on Sunday to repeat. Too tough on a 63-70 year old. Shoot, was killing me at the end when I was 40-43. But this couple adjusted well. The hubby stayed home to work and keep an eye on their older kid. It worked for them. When I'd do the weekends solo, I hated it (though I had two girls on team and she just had 1). So, it wouldn't have worked for me and I'd just not sign my kids up for a travel sport (I'd take the lazy way out, lol).

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

That's actually something I hadn't thought of with my best friend. I think for them it helps because a large portion of their friends are more his age. She only has a handful of friends that are our age.

That was actually the case with my friend and her husband. Most of their friends were her husband's age. Now, with him gone, she feels like a kid around them. They are starting to slow way down,they're retired and she is still under 60, working and full of energy.

She has had to make new friends. And that is hard to do, right after losing her husband.

 

[georgina]

DH retired last year at age 63. We are fortunate that his company provides retireee health insurance for worker and spouse (I haven't worked regularly for money since 1990). I am pretty sure I can stay on the retiree benefits when he hits 65 and goes on Medicare next year, need to check into that further.

DH and I have a variety of friends on our own, mine range from age 40-65. I do think it would be sad if I only had his friends or 'couple' friends, but I think his friends range in age also. His scuba friends, many of them retired, are a very active bunch! We have many separate interests as well as our combined ones.

 

[becalubob]

Hubby and I are the same age; only 23 days apart.

 

[Sabeking]

Here’s one....just found out yesterday that a friend’s daughter is dating a 33 year old guy, the daughter is 17. I’m scared.

 

[FutureDisneyEventPlanner]

Here’s one....just found out yesterday that a friend’s daughter is dating a 33 year old guy, the daughter is 17. I’m scared.

Yeah that's a little much for me. I think if she was older, it wouldn't matter. But 17 is really young.

 

[Skellingtonj]

Here’s one....just found out yesterday that a friend’s daughter is dating a 33 year old guy, the daughter is 17. I’m scared.

Yikes! What could then possibly have in common?? I’m sure he’s a good guy but i don’t see how a 30 year old is attracted to a teenager.

 

[lovin'fl]

Yikes! What could then possibly have in common?? I’m sure he’s a good guy but i don’t see how a 30 year old is attracted to a teenager.

I don't know...I don't think that's being a good guy. She isn't even an adult. My twins are 19 and I'd have wanted to pummel the guy if it were one of my DDs when they were 17.

 

[NotUrsula]

Yikes! What could then possibly have in common?? I’m sure he’s a good guy but i don’t see how a 30 year old is attracted to a teenager.

Any 30 yo who dates an underage teen in this day and age is not a particularly good guy. At best he's bizarrely immature, and at worst ... well, in all cases a criminal. (There are Romeo & Juliet laws all over the U.S. that decriminalize physical relationships between consenting adolescents who are close in age but bridge that "age-18" gap, but I don't know of any that would excuse such behavior in a man 13 years the minor's senior.)

 

[Sabeking]

Any 30 yo who dates an underage teen in this day and age is not a particularly good guy. At best he's bizarrely immature, and at worst ... well, in all cases a criminal. (There are Romeo & Juliet laws all over the U.S. that decriminalize physical relationships between consenting adolescents who are close in age but bridge that "age-18" gap, but I don't know of any that would excuse such behavior in a man 13 years the minor's senior.)

If I had not heard about it from a mutual friend who ran into the mom I would not believe it! We are all going on a girls trip in a few weeks and she mentioned to our mutual friend we have a lot to talk about. I’ll say! I’m really curious how long they have dated. The girl just graduated high school in June. Unfortunately my mind goes to yucky places. She has off campus lunch, they get together....you get where I’m going.

 

[Sabeking]

Yikes! What could then possibly have in common?? I’m sure he’s a good guy but i don’t see how a 30 year old is attracted to a teenager.

I know I was thinking about their conversations! She’s into decorating her dorm, him responsibilities of a house, her girlfriends, him work relationships. Just bizarre!

 

[LovesTimone]

I'm 8 years older than my husband. We had the same life experiences going into the relationship. 17 years together and married 15 of those... still crazy about each other.

 

[java]

I briefly dated someone in his 30’s when I was 18. I was waitressing at the time and his parents were regulars. I enjoyed them and agreed to date their son(blind date). He was a great dater. Took me to amazing places.
Broke up after he flipped out when I wanted to go on spring break with my friends and not a trip to Aruba with him.
I went to Jamaica and that was the end of him.

 

[Hisgirl]

My DH is five years older. No real issues, but he will be ready to retire and I won't qualify for social security or medicare yet so we'll be buying me insurance for 5 years.

I have a friend who married a man 20 years her senior. At first, she was enjoying that feeling of having a mature older man by her side. Then, they entered into his senior years when she was still a vibrant, energetic younger woman. Instead of traveling and doing outside activities, she stayed at home with him and now he has alzheimers and she is his care giver. She loves him dearly, and I would say the biggest deal was that she too, lived a life as if she was a senior citizen, when she wasn't.

And yes, I realize a LOT of senior citizens are extremely active and travel and do sports. He was not one to do that.

 

[Pooh2]

SIL is 53, her husband is 75. They both live like they are in their 90s.
They've been married 10 years, it's really aged her.