Relationship Advice Needed - WWYD? - UPDATE - Pg. 4

[poohs_hunny]

Sorry, but this will be LONG. I have been thinking about this all weekend, and I just don't know what to do next.
I have been dating a guy for about 3 months. We have been going out just about every weekend, sometimes once during the week also, and we usually talk on the phone a couple of times a week.
Last Thursday (1/11), we went out to dinner. That night, we made plans for that Saturday. I was going to come over to his house to watch a movie, which I've done before. That day, he called, saying that he couldn't make our plans that night. Not a big deal to me, and we talked a bit more that day. He ended the conversation by telling me to give him a call during the week. On Wednesday night I called him and left him a voicemail since there was no answer. I said I hoped we could get together on Friday or Saturday. I fully expected him to call Thursday (as he is very good about returning calls), and was a bit surprised when he didn't. I figured he was busy with work, etc. Friday passes with no call again. Yesterday afternoon (Sat.), I called him again. Again, there was no answer. I left another voicemail, this time saying I hoped everything was all right since I hadn't heard from him in awhile. Well, still no response a day later.
I am now going between being worried because something may have happened to him (sick, accident, death in family, etc.), and angry because he may just be blowing me off after 3 months. There had been no indication previously that he no longer wanted to see me. Why would he have told me to call him last week if he didn't want me to? I like this guy and I don't think he is the type to just stop calling with no warning. I don't know what to do next. I don't want to keep calling, but I don't want to give up on this relationship quite yet. What do you make of this situation and what would you do now? I'm feeling and and , and am at a loss as to what to do. Thanks for reading!

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Can you drive over there and see if he is home? I would want to know for sure that nothing is wrong before I assumed someone was trying to avoid me. That way you will know one way or the other.

 

[freckles and boo]

Do you have any mutual friends you can contact? If he has never failed to return a call in the past you are probably justified in being concerned about his safety.

 

[SDFgirl]

I don't think I would drive over there. I'm sure he has friends, family, or a boss who would do that if they haven't heard from him in a few days.

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like he's had a change of heart. Even the nicest of guys can be a big chicken. He's probably afraid to hurt you, so instead of just letting you know he's not really interested, he avoids you. This is really more hurtful to you, but easier on him. Men!! It doesn't even necessarily mean he's a bad guy, it just means he's chicken.

I know it's easier said than done, but I'd try to let him go. It's tough when you like the guy and you feel like you've invested several months in the relationship. But letting him go will open you up to meeting the RIGHT guy.

Good luck and remember - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince! (Cheesy cliche, but true).

 

[Cool-Beans]

Sorry, but this will be LONG. I have been thinking about this all weekend, and I just don't know what to do next.

I have been dating a guy for about 3 months. We have been going out just about every weekend, sometimes once during the week also, and we usually talk on the phone a couple of times a week.

Last Thursday (1/11), we went out to dinner. That night, we made plans for that Saturday. I was going to come over to his house to watch a movie, which I've done before. That day, he called, saying that he couldn't make our plans that night. Not a big deal to me, and we talked a bit more that day. He ended the conversation by telling me to give him a call during the week.

On Wednesday night I called him and left him a voicemail since there was no answer. I said I hoped we could get together on Friday or Saturday. I fully expected him to call Thursday (as he is very good about returning calls), and was a bit surprised when he didn't. I figured he was busy with work, etc.

Friday passes with no call again.

Yesterday afternoon (Sat.), I called him again. Again, there was no answer. I left another voicemail, this time saying I hoped everything was all right since I hadn't heard from him in awhile. Well, still no response a day later.

I am now going between being worried because something may have happened to him (sick, accident, death in family, etc.), and angry because he may just be blowing me off after 3 months.

There had been no indication previously that he no longer wanted to see me. Why would he have told me to call him last week if he didn't want me to? I like this guy and I don't think he is the type to just stop calling with no warning.

I don't know what to do next. I don't want to keep calling, but I don't want to give up on this relationship quite yet. What do you make of this situation and what would you do now? I'm feeling and and , and am at a loss as to what to do. Thanks for reading!

Don't call him and don't drive over to his house. He isn't dead, he's breaking up with you...being busy and not returning calls is a common way to do that.

I've said this to my friends 1000 times, they never listen..."If you can't get a hold of your boyfriend, he's not your boyfriend anymore." Guys who like you knock themselves out calling you often and being with you whenever they can. They don't break a date and tell YOU to call THEM. If they have to break a date, they explain why and sound sorry and make new plans.

You can keep calling and demand explanations, etc., but it will get you nowhere and you'll end up embarrassed on top of (possibly) a little heartbroken.

I know you don't want to hear this now, but there are other fish in the sea! You'll find the right guy for you. He's out there. And every experience you have now is what will make you the person he is destined to fall in love with.

For now, try to stay busy and smile.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

I wanted to add that a coworker of mine dated someone for awhile and then didn't hear from him. It turned out that he was in a car wreck. So, you never know. It's probably not what is happening here though.

 

[XOoOoVEEoOoOX]

that sounds kind of like what happened to me with the last guy I was "talking" to, when that happened it was basically the begining of the end. I dont want to you to think I am being mean or something, but it could be that he has started showing interest in someone else, and maybe decided he would want to spend more time with her, maybe he is going through a hard time right now with family, work, etc. if this is the case, and he has pulled away, then trying to force yourself in by continually calling, checking up on him, etc. is only going to push him farther away. I say call him one last time, leave him a voicemail stating that you are just checking to make sure everything is "ok" in his world, if he needs you to give you a call. Then leave it at that, if he is interested in pursuing anything with you that message will be enough for him to call you and explain whats going on, if he is not interested in continuing he will do one of two things A.) call you and be honest about his feelings or B.) not call you at all. I know the thought of him not calling you back really just SUCKS, but if thats the way he is going to handle it then you may be better off.

Please dont FLAME me people, this is just MY opinion, based on MY experience, and the experiences of the women around me.

 

[bbmommy]

First of all, how old are you, I would not freak out, we (women) always try to over-analyze things, I would just wait a bit to hear from him, otherwise it will be his loss!

 

[wilderness01]

I'm sorry he doesn't have the guts to just call you back. I would let it go until and if I heard from him. Sorry you are hurting.

 

[horseshowmom]

Don't call him and don't drive over to his house. He isn't dead, he's breaking up with you...being busy and not returning calls is a common way to do that.

I've said this to my friends 1000 times, they never listen..."If you can't get a hold of your boyfriend, he's not your boyfriend anymore." Guys who like you knock themselves out calling you often and being with you whenever they can. They don't break a date and tell YOU to call THEM. If they have to break a date, they explain why and sound sorry and make new plans.

You can keep calling and demand explanations, etc., but it will get you nowhere and you'll end up embarrassed on top of (possibly) a little heartbroken.

I know you don't want to hear this now, but there are other fish in the sea! You'll find the right guy for you. He's out there. And every experience you have now is what will make you the person he is destined to fall in love with.

For now, try to stay busy and smile.

I've got to agree with this. I'm sorry that you've been left hanging, that stinks!

 

[Hannathy]

If he is breaking up with her thats fine, too bad for her but fine, BUT I'm kinda in the drive over and see if he is alive. You don't even need to go to the door but check and see if it looks like the mail is gone or the car has moved. Or could you call his work and just ask for him and see if he's been in( you don't need to talk to him) I have a friend that years ago when we were young had a bit of a nervous break down or anxiety attack and just stayed in bed for days and it wasn't till someone from work went over, after not showing for a couple of days, that he got help. Not everyone has family or friends close if you move for the job.

 

[poohs_hunny]

First of all, how old are you, I would not freak out, we (women) always try to over-analyze things, I would just wait a bit to hear from him, otherwise it will be his loss!

I am in my mid-20s, he is in his late 20s. I considered going to his house (especially since he has a DVD of mine that we watched as his place one night and I forgot to take back). I don't think I'm ready to do that yet, though. He has two roommates, so they would know if something was wrong. I don't have his work number. I am probably overanalyzing this, but I'm trying to come up with every possibility before I decide he's a scumbag. The worst part is not knowing.

 

[LadyyRedd]

Speaking from experience, it pains me to say that you should move on, he's avoiding you. In my life I've learned that if a guy likes you and wants to be with you, he WILL pursue YOU, he won't sit back and wait. If he wanted to talk to you or see you, he'd call. I'm sorry. Hugs from me because I know how much it sucks.



Kimya

 

[disneyfreakk]

I had this happen to me once. I was worried too, so I called and his roommate answered and spelled things out for me. Then the jerk called me about a week later to ask if we could "just be friends". I just told him "no thanks. I dont need a friend like him." Man was he shocked! lol.

 

[Hannathy]

Seeing your last post he does have someone to check on him so that means he is either getting cold feet or he's a jerk or both!

 

[Rafiki Rafiki Rafiki]

Are his roommates good looking?

 

[Missy Mouse]

Sorry, but this will be LONG. I have been thinking about this all weekend, and I just don't know what to do next.
I have been dating a guy for about 3 months. We have been going out just about every weekend, sometimes once during the week also, and we usually talk on the phone a couple of times a week.
Last Thursday (1/11), we went out to dinner. That night, we made plans for that Saturday. I was going to come over to his house to watch a movie, which I've done before. That day, he called, saying that he couldn't make our plans that night. Not a big deal to me, and we talked a bit more that day. He ended the conversation by telling me to give him a call during the week. On Wednesday night I called him and left him a voicemail since there was no answer. I said I hoped we could get together on Friday or Saturday. I fully expected him to call Thursday (as he is very good about returning calls), and was a bit surprised when he didn't. I figured he was busy with work, etc. Friday passes with no call again. Yesterday afternoon (Sat.), I called him again. Again, there was no answer. I left another voicemail, this time saying I hoped everything was all right since I hadn't heard from him in awhile. Well, still no response a day later.
I am now going between being worried because something may have happened to him (sick, accident, death in family, etc.), and angry because he may just be blowing me off after 3 months. There had been no indication previously that he no longer wanted to see me. Why would he have told me to call him last week if he didn't want me to? I like this guy and I don't think he is the type to just stop calling with no warning. I don't know what to do next. I don't want to keep calling, but I don't want to give up on this relationship quite yet. What do you make of this situation and what would you do now? I'm feeling and and , and am at a loss as to what to do. Thanks for reading!

I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like this is his way of passively breaking up with you. I wouldn't call again until/if he calls you. I'm sorry.

 

[noseybuddy]

I would go over to check on him. Ask him why he hasn't returned my phone calls, that I was worried. If he says he wants to break up, I would let him know the coward that he is for not telling me in the first place, then I would get my DVD player and leave and move on.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

This happened to me a couple of times during my single life. Once, my boyfriend was in a car accident and ended up in the hospital with a broken leg! He had no-showed for a date and hadn't called. I did hear from him the next day, though, as he called me from his hospital bed.

Inother time, I was being dumped by a guy who'd said he loved me. He had given me absolutely no indication that he wanted to end the relationship. Unfortunately, considering the amount of time that has passed, it sounds to me like this is what has happened to you, especially considering he cancelled your last date and never called you back or made further plans. I'm sorry for your hurt feelings.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

Seeing your last post he does have someone to check on him so that means he is either getting cold feet or he's a jerk or both!

I agree with this. After reading that he has roommates, who probably would have already let you know if something terrible happened, it looks like he is avoiding you. I'm sorry. That really sucks.

You should know that the harder you try to pursue him, the less interested he will be in you. If he isn't calling you back, he has either met someone else or wants to slow things down. If I were you I would not call him again.

A coworker of mine finally broke up with a girl he had been seeing for a year. She wanted to spend more time with him and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he let the relationship drag on. He started to ignore her and do some inconsiderate things until finally she suggested breaking up. As soon as she did, he said ok. Some people are just cowards. The sad part about it is she had just asked him several months before this if their relationship was going anywhere. He didn't have the guts to do it then. I felt sorry for her. He was being a jerk.