Relating an incident of an unsupervised child at CC

[bumbershoot]

I guess I'm old and grew up in a time when kids played unattended all of the time and yet somehow survived. How did we make it? No bike helmets, no life jackets, no adult to supervise our every second, walked to school, saw a doctor only when sick, (not very often). Mom did worry about Polio; "don't play in that creek!". How did I make it this far? My advice, relax and enjoy life. Not every event or risk is worth the 7th Cavalry.

You made it because you didn't have anything happen to you. I'm sure there were people around you who didn't make it.

Just the other night a friend told a very hilarious story about falling out of the back of the "way back" as his mom turned a corner while driving him to the doctor. Only the quick thinking of the car behind them kept him from being squashed.

It's hilarious because he survived if he hadn't, or if he'd suffered severe injury, it sure wouldn't be a funny story.

We all made it through the 70s and 80s, except for the ones who aren't here because they didn't.

Exactly.


When Jaycee Diggard was found and her kidnapper (etc) was found and they got his back story, some women from my area realized that they had very likely seen him trolling and only by chance turned down his offers of rides. Same time and area of his early forays. We all thought people were fine and safe (how quickly people forgot Manson) and they turned him down because they simply didn't want a ride at that moment.

My moms second husband worked for his dad's CA coastal towing company. The things he saw as a teen while cleaning up horrific accidents caused him to "ruin" my moms 55 Chevy BelAir by putting seatbelts in it. He just refused to let what happened to the teens and adults in the accidents get towed happen to us.

In the 50s my mom went over her handlebars and left tooth marks in the sidewalk and her teeth were always broken. Oh and her dad abused her in a few ways. In the 70s I took the end of my finger off in a door the moment my mom left for work one summer day. In the 80s my brother fell off a roof into barbed wire and it hit him in a vulnerable spot. Etx.

Glad nothing happened to you while unsupervised, but things FID happen to others. You were simply lucky.

 

[GooniesAndy]

I am not saying kids should not be watched in water, but in all of the anecdotes mentioned the kids were all fine. I do not see them as in danger. I agree it is a fine line between freedom and safety, but in our society today we are erring very heavily on the side of safety with very little freedom. No parent admits to being a "helicopter" parent but most of us are without even realizing it.

My child was fine, but he was not a non-swimmer who was given permission to go in the ocean alone. The first places I checked when I realized I couldn't find him were the Mickey pool and the hot tubs. And when my kids, who are not strong swimmers, went in the pool, I declined invitations to hang out nearby because I know I need to watch them every moment when they are in the water. I was pushed into a pool when I was three. If my mother wouldn't have been watching, the outcome would have been different. My mom's friend lost a toddler who drowned in the stereotypical inch of water in a supposedly empty pond in the backyard. When my son was three or four he had no idea he couldn't swim and he jumped right in and was just floating there, face down. Not struggling or flailing, just floating. I was right there so I was able to grab him, but it drove home what could happen to an unattended child in the vicinity of a pool or other body of water. I don't watch my kids every minute of every day, and I give them more freedom than most of their friends, but I have hard lines and one of them is the water.

 

[stinkerella]

I like to think of myself as a cautious parent, (my siblings may refer to me as paranoid). When we know better we should do better IMHO. Recognizing hazards now may help my kids to be safety conscious in the future.

 

[FigmentSpark]

I am not saying kids should not be watched in water, but in all of the anecdotes mentioned the kids were all fine. I do not see them as in danger. I agree it is a fine line between freedom and safety, but in our society today we are erring very heavily on the side of safety with very little freedom. No parent admits to being a "helicopter" parent but most of us are without even realizing it.

If that's the definition of a helicopter parent, I'll proudly wear that title as mine, as did my mother before me, although we just didn't know it as such. It was just called good parenting.

 

[TestingH2O]

There's a difference between sending a kid who can't swim into the ocean and letting a child climb the playground equipment while you watch from the bench. Yes, their foot may slip on the playground and they might even fall off the monkey bars. That's assuming your playground even has them anymore.

I let my 4 year old play on the playground without keeping my hand on her back at all times. I don't climb the stairs behind her and make her sit in my lap on the slide. I see plenty of other moms who don't allow that much freedom. I can see her and I know we are in a relatively safe environment. The physical challenges are all those that she is capable of conquering, but there are plenty of parents who would say I was being reckless with my child's safety.

As with everything, there's a balance. Where you find that balance point is up to you. I will say that research indicates our children are too coddled and aren't figuring out how to conquer challenges when they are young. I think safe play situations are a good place to do that. However, I don't consider unattended non-swimmers safe for my family.

 

[Shanti]

Hi Everyone,

I was on the Eastern at the end of July and want to relate a story to you. This is not judgemental or flaming, just a story. I was in the water at CC waiting for my family to return from Pelican Plunge when a little boy - 1st grade - paddled up to me to say 'hi.' He was wearing one of the life vests provided by DCL. I asked him where his parents were and he responded that his mother and sister were passed out on chairs and his dad was sleeping in the hammock. I asked him if they were ok with him being in the water without them and he said his dad said it was ok as long as he was wearing the life vest because he can't swim. Long story short, as a parent - teacher - former lifeguard, I was concerned. He hung around and talked with me for over 30 minutes before his mother and sister woke up.

I know that everyone has different expectations for supervision of children. That's just the way it is. However, please remember that DCL cruises are still a community of up to 4,000 strangers and when adding water to the mix - especially if a child can't swim - there is potential danger that is totally unavoidable. It would have taken only a second for him to try to adjust the life vest and fall out of it into the water. Luckily, everything was fine - but just wanted to relay this experience.

Yuck. I would have reported the unsupervised non-swimmer situation to a lifeguard. Glad you were there to help out.

 

[lorimay]

I think I have become more of a helicopter grandmother than I was a helicopter mom.
I find myself more nervous with my grandkids than I ever was with my kids, I guess maybe age or is it all the horrible stories we hear on the news.
Sometimes my husband and my daughter both tell me to calm down and relax when the kids are in the water and I am with them and they both swim.

 

[eangel12]

My husband and I went on a cruise...on a different cruise line when we were newly married. No kids of our own, we booked an excursion through an outside company. We decided to snorkel in Belize followed by lunch and a walk through Caulker Cay. When we boarded the small boat, we noticed two small children. I'm a teacher so I acknowledged them with a hello. My husband and I sat down and a few minutes later an older couple joined us. The tour operators began to prep to leave. In a panic, I said "shouldn't we wait for their parents" and the tour guide said "oh their parents decided to scuba dive and paid for them to be on this excursion instead". I gasped out loud!! The girl was probably 10 and the boy 7-8. My husband and I kept them with us the entire time...and we made them stay with us in the town as we walked around. I was horrified that parents would trust their YOUNG children ALONE in those conditions. One part of our excursion was jumping in with nurse sharks and sting rays after chum was thrown in. The little boy was hysterical...refused to get off the boat and the sister was comforting him.

I get not being judgemental to others...but simple, common sense safety should be put into place.

 

[Aliceacc]

Ah, the good old days, the good old days. When parents didn't worry and kids were just fine.

I'm a product of the good old days-- I'm 57. I grew up in the suburbs. We stayed out until the street lights came on, and went hours on end without checking in. I walked the half mile to kindergarten by myself and did just fine. I walked the mile to and from high school, even after dark, and did just fine, even crossing the isolated bridge where last year a young woman was murdered. And I was just fine. That creepy guy who worked in the park I sometimes cut through never hurt me. I rode without a helmet and never suffered more than stitches, although a classmate's brother ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life after a helmet free motorcycle accident. And we didn't wear seatbelts in the '70's, though one of my students in the '80's ended up in a wheelchair after being thrown from a car in an accident.

But here's the thing: the fact that we survived doesn't mean that things were any safer then than they are now. Kids who were unsupervised still were sometimes hurt. Kids drowned, kids were kidnapped, kids were abused. None that I knew, but I know that it happened. And then, like now, it was a teeny tiny little minority of the kids out there. And that's a comfort unless, of course, that one in a million is YOUR one.

There was no internet, so we weren't quite as aware. Kids weren't on milk cartons because the idea hadn't occurred to anyone yet-- likewise with Amber Alerts. It wasn't a safer time, merely an "ignorance is bliss" time.

I'm not a helicopter parent ( my neighbor is, but that's another story.) But I am aware that the few times we've "lost" one of our kids we were incredibly lucky that it turned out well.

I used to have a friend, the husband of a coworker. An usher in mass, a dad, a man who wore a suit and tie to work every day. Absolutely respectable. And, yes, he's been to WDW any number of times. They moved from NY to a cozy little town in the Midwest, the kind of town who would welcome such an upstanding member of the community.

He and my friend divorced shortly after he was arrested for sexual abuse of a minor. He's on the national registry, and he's living in someone else's hometown, a "safe place" where things like that don't happen.

Yes, absolutely relax and enjoy life. Give your kids the freedom to make some small mistakes and learn from them. Know that the vast majority of people are good and kind and will look out for your kids.

But don't assume that any place-- your small town or WDW or a WDW cruise-- is a bubble where you can afford to assume that they'll be safe without supervision.

 

[hubbard53]

i give my son LOTS of freedom (or so he thinks, I'm always close by). . . but i've 'lost' him twice - once on the Fantasy and once at Atlantis. Both times, he disappeared in the blink of an eye. But you know what? after each of those incidents, he learned to not wander off b/c it was scary. . .

helicopter parents do great harm to their childrens future.

 

[Ariel484]

As a former lifeguard myself, and a current mom of a small child, life vests are not magical force fields.

OMG YES!! 100% agree with this!

 

[TestingH2O]

It wasn't a safer time, merely an "ignorance is bliss" time.

Perfectly stated.

 

[tinkerone]

I would rather err on the side of safety than be sorry I didn't. Its all good until its not and that's the sad truth. Families are destroyed because of preventable accidents. I can so easily see this child being swept out to sea and no one there to notice. There is no excuse for napping while your child is in the ocean alone. Were not talking about a child racing around a play ground, its an OCEAN! Are you really that tired? Is there really so little value in that childs safety? Common sense people.

Op, thank you for taking your time on your vacation to help a child who may or may not have needed it. We will never know for sure because you did a good deed.

 

[Jennifer777]

Another aspect of this aside from the child's safety (or lack thereof) is that it's not very considerate to leave your child unattended in a situation like this for others to worry about. OP, I'm sure worrying about this child put a bit of a damper on your day at CC and took away from the attention you wanted to devote to your own children, even if by a little. I'm glad it ended well but it wasn't fair for this family to rely on others to save their child if he got into trouble and if they were sleeping while he was playing in the ocean, that's exactly what they were doing, whether that was their intention or not.

 

[Nutsmom]

We lost one of our 5 (almost 6) year olds on the ship last year. DH and our oldest were in the room, I went to get our twins from the kid's club. One wanted to take the steps and race us on the elevator. We almost always took the steps and we were only I think 2 floors away (maybe 3) so they were pretty comfortable with where to go and what deck to stop on. I stupidly let him and when we got to our deck he wasn't there. I went to the room to see if he'd gone ahead, I went to lido to see if he'd gone too far while DH stayed in the room in case he went there. I went back down to the kid's club and asked if they could track them anywhere on ship, they said they couldn't but he got lost and checked himself back in. That was terrifying and also reassuring that he knew the best possible place he could've gone if he was separated from us.

Thank you for sharing this; we are getting ready to cruise in November (first timers) with our 5 and soon to be 10year old. It's a good reminder to talk through what to do if we get separated- who to ask for help, where to go, etc. We've done that during our trips to the parks in the past, but for some reason it just hasn't registered -until now- to do it for this trip, too.

 

[MsJiminyCricket]

Another aspect of this aside from the child's safety (or lack thereof) is that it's not very considerate to leave your child unattended in a situation like this for others to worry about. OP, I'm sure worrying about this child put a bit of a damper on your day at CC and took away from the attention you wanted to devote to your own children, even if by a little. I'm glad it ended well but it wasn't fair for this family to rely on others to save their child if he got into trouble and if they were sleeping while he was playing in the ocean, that's exactly what they were doing, whether that was their intention or not.

I won't say that it put a damper on my day - my kids are much older and strong swimmers...and were off at Pelican Plunge with my DH. However, I would have felt terribly responsible if I hadn't hung out with him and later heard something had happened. As someone who follows the story of Chase Lykken - I wouldn't want to have someone else fall victim to injuries due to a water situation.

 

[PlanoNana]

Kids getting lost or separated from parents is a good reason to insist that the kids wear their wrist bands all the time. Our 21 month old granddaughter may have hers on her ankle but she WILL be wearing it. And the CMs in the club tell the kids that if they ever get separated from their parents to look for someone with a DCL nametag. Good advice that we will definitely remind the 5 year old. And neither one will go anywhere near the water without one or more of the adults closeby and watching. They're too precious to take a chance. We want them to grow up independent of us but they need to grow a bit first.

 

[TestingH2O]

Kids getting lost or separated from parents is a good reason to insist that the kids wear their wrist bands all the time

Just remember that you can't use those bands to track kids outside of the clubs. While they will help the club CMs know how to find you once a kid arrives there, they don't offer shipwide tracking.

Also, you'll need to keep a close eye on the 21 month old band. They won't lock bands on a child under 4.

 

[PlanoNana]

Just remember that you can't use those bands to track kids outside of the clubs. While they will help the club CMs know how to find you once a kid arrives there, they don't offer shipwide tracking.

Also, you'll need to keep a close eye on the 21 month old band. They won't lock bands on a child under 4.

Thanks for the info. I know they can't track them but the wrist bands can allow the CMs to identify them. And to be perfectly honest, I hope we all our precautions are unnecessary.

 

[SS_Mama]

My then 6-year-old got lost at Pirate Night last year on our Panama Canal cruise and it was just awful. It took me a while to realize he was missing, because I'd given him and his big brother permission to be on the stage playing the games and things, while I sat on the edge. He got confused about where I was and went off the other side of the stage. Very quickly some girls found him crying and summoned a crew member, who took him down to the Oceaneers Lab. I was looking for him, progressively more panicked, running to check pools and hot tubs first, and of course he wasn't even on the same deck any longer. When I saw one of the Club staff standing near the back of the area it occurred to me that they may be able to help. He called down and sure enough, Oliver was down in the Lab playing. If it ever happens again, the first thing I'll do is check with the Club staff, before I do more than a cursory search. He was taken to a familiar place, with familiar people, and he quickly got over being scared and went into normal mode. I, on the other hand, am still not quite over it!

We had a similar experience on the Fantasy with our 5 year old. My husband was taking her and my 3 year old back to the room from the kids club/nursery and my 5 year old somehow got ahead of him. She ended up on the elevator alone but knew enough to go to our floor. The wonderful housekeeping staff alerted our room steward, he recognized our daughter and he let her into the room and waited outside while he alerted the desk and my husband got there a few minutes after. It was very terrifying for me but a testament to how wonderful the staff is. My daughter was in bed and asleep when my husband arrived - she obviously felt safe with the room steward outside. We, on the other hand, were sick about it. We did write a letter of gratitude for the steward's file - and I just feel that DCL knows what to do in these situations. Still, I feel very unnerved by it - I can't imagine allowing it to happen in an ocean or on CC.