Registries - am I the only one who doesn't like them?

[Amberle3]

Inspired by the thread on the baby shower registry!

When my DFi and I got engaged, he started talking about things that we should "register" for. I have never been to a wedding where the couple was registered, I think it's just not "done" in my neck of the woods. Or at least wasn't done.

I am just SO not comfortable with the idea of a registry. I can't imagine telling anyone what to buy me for a gift. Even for birthdays if I'm asked what I want my usual answer is "I'll love anything that I get if it's from you". To me it truly is the thought that counts more than the item.

Now for a wedding, my preference is to give the Happy Couple something heartfelt and meaningful. My personal feeling is that I shouldn't need a list to tell me what I should buy for them, and that if I don't know the HC well enough to know what they like/need then I have no business going to their wedding nevermind giving them a present.

So everytime DFi says "we could just register for that" it rubs me the wrong way.

For those that have used a registry, do you remember who gave you what from it? Do you look at the gravy boat that matches your plates and think "there's our wedding gift from Aunt Edna" or do you think "that was on our registry and someone gave it to us, don't remember who".

DFi are still battling over this, and I will probably relent and let him register us somewhere for the benefit of members of his extended family who apparently can't imagine shopping without a registry.

And I really can't imagine registering for a baby shower. One of the spas in town here now has a birthday registry so you can tell people what to sign you up for, complete with an email service to let them know about it.

Actually Canadian Tire now has a wedding registry! So you can let people know what power tools they should buy for you as a wedding present. Nothing's more meaningful than a power drill!

 

[Bob Slydell]

Trust me, it's a lot better option than letting hundreds of people go off on their own and buy what they think you might like.

We've got an assortment of those gifts -- trust me, we know who they come from, but that doesn't make them better than the other things.

It's also easier for your guests as well -- especially if you're not really close to them. How would my aunt who lives in Indiana that I last saw when I was 8 know what type of home furnishings I would like?

 

[tkyes]

I have absolutely no problems with a registry.

As a gift giver, I love knowing that I'm getting the recipient exactly what they want in the color they want, etc. Even my close friends who I know well, I couldn't possibly pick out exactly what pattern of placemats they want, nor know if they already have those same ones.

There are a few gifts that I remember who they came from but I don't think that has anything to do with being on a registry or not. I remember that my mom's department at work gave us some crystal, that was off of our registry. There is no less meaning in the gift for me than if they had hand picked something out. It was still very generous of them to do.

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

I like them for the traditional events such as wedding or baby.

I DON"T like the new birthday registries I've seen. I don't know anyone who has actually used one, but I'm sure it won't be long . . .

 

[Annette_VA]

Better to register & end up w/ something you will actually use than not register & end up w/ 50 toasters - LOL

 

[Crankyshank]

I love registries! It makes shopping so much easier.

the Amazon wish list is one of my all time favorite things- I wish everyone I know had one. Especially my sister!

 

[coliebird]

I never even thought about it. It's just the norm here. I actually do remember who gave me most of our stuff. I also remember who got what for me at my baby shower.

I guess each region is different. I have never been to a wedding where you give an actual gift. We always give a check. I think I got two gifts at my wedding out of 150 guests. The rest was checks.

 

[lovemygoofy]

A registry really isn't a bad thing for couples who are setting up a household from scratch. Everyone and their cousin's friend will want to buy you something and constantly ask what you need or what is your colors or decor for a room. Registering at some places reduces the need for all these questions. My Dh and I come from large familes and we registered as a way to help all out of town families because they wanted to be able to send something and we were tired of the same questions. We did not register thinking Ohh, people will buy us this hundred dollar gravy boat. For a young couple starting out this really helps them because it's so expensive to start out and create a household.

I do find it tacky when people send invitations and make a note of where they are registered.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding,
Tina

 

[Aimeedyan]

LOVE REGISTRIES!!!!!!!!

How the heck am I supposed to know what the couple wants or needs? Why would I waste my money buying them something that they may not like or use?

Believe me, we have quite a few things that people just went and randomly chose for us and it's either in the garage or given away.

When we married we NEEDED stuff. We had NOTHING to run a house with, and I didn't wnat a bunch of crystal and junk. We're NOT crystal people. I wanted real stuff, that we would use.

And I do remember who gave what, maybe I'm just strange... I remember that the sweet ladies who hosted a shower at my church gave us 6 placesettings of our casual dinnerware. I remember that his aunt gave us 2. I remember that my MOH and her family gave me three placesettings of my china. Etc etc. I remember a GM (friend of DH) gave us our bath mat. I do remember those things...

I also love them for baby showers, again, how do I know what she needs or wants? I doubt an expecting mom really wants to run all over town returning extra stuff - we didn't like doing that and we weren't pregnant!

I LOVE them. I have never felt pressured to buy from them, and have on occasion bought something else that I already had in mind for them. But for people we don't know well, it's wonderful.

 

[Beth76]

Originally posted by Amberle3
I can't imagine telling anyone what to buy me for a gift.

I bet that you will not "imagine" what people will give you if you don't have a registry.

I don't have a problem with registries. I think it makes it easier on all parties involved. People are so busy now that they don't have time to sit around and think what to give someone for their wedding. That might sound selfish, but that's reality.

Oh and I was married 5 years ago and I do remember what most people gave me (yes, from my registry.)

 

[leahannpen]

I have no problem with them either. I think it's kind of annoying though when they send you a slip of paper with no less than 7 stores they are registered at. That to me, is tacky.

For me, it's just easier to get them something I know they want and need. Saves them the trouble of returning a bunch of things also.

Now, birthday registeries? NOT!!

 

[grinningghost]

Registries are the norm here too. I like them because I don't wander around wondering what to buy. What I don't like, and I think I made it clear in my baby shower registry thread, is asking for seriously frivolous stuff (that's seriously overpriced) for a newborn baby.

 

[SC Minnie]

Regitries make it much easier for people to give you something you need AND want. You will also get a lot or personal gifts too that are not on the registry. Most people like to use one when buying a gift for a wedding or baby so they don't purchase something you already have. It also helps with extended family and friends that live far away and may not be able to attend the wedding or shower. They can buy the gift and its waiting for you at the store. No 'lost' or damaged packages in the mail.

 

[~*Belle 2003*~]

I only like them for Weddings.

Most people either have a Registry or a Wedding List that they send out themselves. You just mark off what you have bought and return to sender for the next guest! Great idea.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by lovemygoofy
I do find it tacky when people send invitations and make a note of where they are registered.

Why would you register and then not tell people where you're registered? The stores you register at give you those little cards specifically so you can include them in the invitation.

 

[Aimeedyan]

Originally posted by Bob Slydell
Why would you register and then not tell people where you're registered? The stores you register at give you those little cards specifically so you can include them in the invitation.

It is VERY poor etiquette to include registry info in a WEDDING invitation, those things are supposed to be spread by word of mouth. It is another thing to include them in a SHOWER invite since the entire purpose of a shower is to gift the couple. We had a large wedding, and did not include registry info, and no one seemed to have a problem finding out where we were registered.

I'm a brat, if I receive a wedding invite with registry info in it, we don't go and don't send a gift. I think it's in poor taste. No one should expect a gift from a wedding guest.

 

[tkyes]

The stores you register at give you those little cards specifically so you can include them in the invitation.

Etiquette says it's ok to send them in shower invites, but NEVER in a wedding invite!

 

[ZachnElli]

Oh, I think wedding registry's are a must! That way you can get your dishes and the bowls too. Instead of 100 plates or like someone else said 50 toasters! We were setting up a house from scratch and I don't know what we would have done without the registry! Only for weddings though. I haven't done one for baby showers even.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by tkyes
Etiquette says it's ok to send them in shower invites, but NEVER in a wedding invite!

Gotcha. That must have been how DW did them, then. Can you tell I didn't do the invitations?

 

[binny]

Originally posted by Annette_VA
Better to register & end up w/ something you will actually use than not register & end up w/ 50 toasters - LOL

or 5 crock pots!!

I love my crock pot now but when we first married I didnt have clue one what to do with one much less 5!!
Not to mention we moved out of the country the day after our wedding so we had to give all our "returns" to my mom to do PLUS we spent part of our wedding night going through presents ( we had to do that anyway for customs).

Anyway I relaly like registries. Even if *you* dont like them I bet someone who is coming to your wedding does. I remember my best friend bought me towels, a shower curtain and really nice sheets off of our registry