Regarding posts on the Community Board

[Wagamama]

OUT!!!! Booboo and Roadkill, OUT!!!!

Nobody messes with my boys!! (or girls!!)

 

[Zurg]

Yo Charlie!

Waz goen on here?

Dere dese dissy dames all ova da place!

We have us a nice place fer da boyz ta get ta gedder an keepa da peace between da families and all da dames shoe up doing dd yat yat yat ya ya. Day gott a place fer dat done day?

Dere gitten ta be no place fer da honest hood deses days dere aint.

 

[charlie,nj]

Looka watt we gots here..a hole slew a dames. Sorry Zurg fer postin dat post bout dat little ting Alex WAS suposta have in place. Looks like it ain’t werking. Looks ta me likes da dames wanted ta prove me wrong…just like a dame. (me mom’s was right) Maybe dat Waggy could get dat Marky Mark fellow ta pay Alex a visit up n Bostin. (if ya’s nose watt I means)

Hey Zurgie watt is it wit chew complainin bout a little fresh eye candy here on dis tread. I coulds see why Waggy might not want dem here ..but you? But maybe it’s dat you don’ts want a lot a dem coming over hear from da ya ya tread. Maybe dats it. One or two ain’t bad but if a whole crew a ya ya’s comes over it could be lights out fer dis thead. I don’t tink Pete wood stand fer two a dem ya ya treds do youz?

As fer dat ya ya gurl…you southin people gots a funny way a talkin. Maybe I can’s talk like youz so youz understand me. Hey uhaul…I ain’t a scared a no showgun or dat person holdin the showgun…get me? And I don’t care if’s your kinfold does include dat Herman da Moster guy judge. Joe P handled him so’s could I. N youz better quiet down wit dat pony…cause if youz ever seen the God Father films..your pony could wind up like da pony in da film. I personally liked parts one and two day was right on…but da terd part was not good.

 

[charlie,nj]

Dis is jus n a pen ta da post before dis one.a sorta part two.. I wanted ta add more verbage…

Hey youz ya ya dames if’s ya wonderin why dat Waggy broad is on our side..it’a cause we had her …lets jus say fixed. Youz ever see da film “Da Ten Commandments”? Youz no da part when dat Mosses guy pulls doze plagueie tings on dat baldy guy Rameses II (no not da new SSB II) wit da funny hats? Well lets just say me, Zurgie n da boyz gots a little plague tingy goin on wit Waggy. Da first plague was a little river in her basement curasee a da boyz. Hey Waggy I bets you looked jus like Mosses in da middle a all dat H20 (if youz don’t know H2O ..dat means wada..so’s me kid sayz..he’s a smart guy not a wise guy likes me) But I bet’s dat wada didn’t part fer you..I bet chew needed a mop and a bucket. So’s don’t step outta line youz broads or else.

Hey Waggy seeing dat’s youz is a regular Cecil and Beanie Da Mille hows bout redoing “Da Ten Commandments”. Only dis time why don’t you use ALL wiseguys insteada just dat one wiseguy Eddie G. Robinson. I waz gonna say da tree stooges but I tink dat's already been done. I’s tinging dat it would be a classic. I’s a cause wood play dat Mosses guy..maybe Zurg could’s be that Fair-o guy. You a cause could be dat sweet dame Princess Neosynephrine .

Watt da youz guys tink..good a watt?

Hear’s sum pratice lines…I can’t decide if we should do it wit our diealicks or not. Hey maybe one a dem Scotty ones like dat Sean Coronary ..007 guy. (the broads wood go wild fer dat) I tink I will leave it up ta Waggy. Hey youz nose watt would be funny..if we’s use da same locations as da Sopanos. Wez could use da Passaic River fer da parting a da seas. (all dough I tink you can jus walk across it now..there’s so much crap in it)…and maybe dat Pizzaland joint fer sumtin. (hey maybe Eddie G. Robinson’s house..youz no da house I’m talkin bout..da one he bums offa dat “da Fly” guy Vincent Van Price)..and doze big piles a recyclables under da Polaski Skyway coulds be da primids. (dats a lota glass and pastic bottles) …if we do any killin a cows or goats we can do dem at da Kearny NJ butcher shop. (hopes da day don’t finds any humans mixed in wit da meat)…we could get da gold fer dat gilded calf from dat jewelry store I knocked off in Hohocus. (hope dat day don’t finger me)

Mosses (dat’s me) : “Blood makes poor mortar”.

Princess Neosynephrine(dat’s you Waggy): “Oh, Moses! Moses! You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!”

Fair-o Rameses II (dat’s Zurg): “So let it be written. So let it be done”

Mosses (dat’s me again): “Let my people go… There are so many, so many.”

Mosses (me again): “The Lord of Hosts will do battle for us. Behold his mighty hand."

An old man comments: "God opens the sea with a blast of His nostrils!" (I hopes he gots a nice big hankie..ha ha ha)

Hey wood ja looka me..I’m actin!

 

[Zurg]

"Soz let it be writed, So get it done!"

How'd I do? I tried ta sound all egypjen en all, king like, ya knowz like a big god fadda.

 

[Zurg]

Yeah Charlie da Waggy dame is getten ter be onea da guyz and all, well kind like, not really a guy, just like ya know 'round and like one a da family. She do look good in the da princess nympho'rine get up an all, but dem utter dames, I aint so sure.

Dey showz up wid da binky ting and da grey tape and diz place'll go to wrong real quick like.

 

[Zurg]

Yo Charlie

Youz fine pronouciating haz made youz Mr Language Wise Guy, did youz ever see dis thread? here

Dey say youz is perspiring da words,

Da Jimmy iz howz youz open da door,
Da Spinkle iz watt youz do wid da ashes so de crime see'en guyz don's fine no DNA bits.

 

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by Zurg
just like ya know 'round

Who you calling round, Bubba?!

 

[charlie,nj]

Hey Zurg yeah’s I did see dat dat debster gurl used my moniker n her thread. Dat waz one a dem unexpected surprises…youz nose da kind. Like when’s ya roll a guy n find he has a couple a C notes in his wallet. Notin like it in da werld.

I liked ya writin bout the jimmies and da sprinkles ..ha ha ha. I’s glad you was being nicey nice and didn’t give da real hood meaning a giving sumbody a sprinkle. (I tink I would ratda be dead)

And dat actin of your’s..I tinks you are one a dem “o natural born” acta’s…when you said dat line it reminded me a ..a Marlin Brando.(wit out da fat) Like when he was in “on da watdafront”. Da’s one a me favorite flicks.

I tink I am going to be backing outta da actin ting…I hopes ya don’t mind Waggy..but jus tinkin bout being in fronta peoples makes my throw up. Hey maybe you could’s get dat dare Routeman Dan fer da part a Mosses.

When I’s was a little hood me ma wanted me ta play a muzakal instrument. So I was told I wood be playin da pie-ann-o. Lucky fer me…me ma stuck my otda brother wit da tuba. Well anyways I gets dis 90 year old broad as me teacher. Insteada givin me sum hip tunes ta play..she wood give me waltzes and crap. I hated dat ***** plain and simple.

Wells every year we’s wood put on a big time resightal for a local old bag home. It was full a broads dat looks like da was born before rocks. Fer dis ting me teach gives me a hip song ta play…it was “Born Free” you nose like da flick bout animals. The day comes and I get all dressed up….I sits threw da hole ting. Of cause da ***** has ta put me on last. So it’s finnaly my turn…and da ***** has ta make a big time pronoucement dat da next player (master Charles,nj) has been takin lessons fer sum time and is only now getting it. (ha ha ha *****) Well thanks fer setin me up *****. I’s get’s up on da stage in front da all doze cave women. I does my bowing and all. I sit’s at da pie-ann-o and starts ta tap da ivorys. Well every ting was going smooda till near da end. I started to get nervous then’s I start ta shake. I starts hittin all da wrong notes…da old *****’s insteada feelin for me ..da all start laughin at me. (**** dem!)

I don’t like ta tells many people dis but I’s walked offa da stage cryin like a new born. I ran otta da joint all da way home. Much like the little foot piggies. I tinkin screw it it is all over ..dat’s dat’s n all. Woodent you know it dat on da next Satday a da week I goes ta my lesson..that old ***** teach is waitin fer me wit a metal edged rula. No sooner does my fingers hit da ivorys she starts ta whack my hands wit ta rula. She says dat I embarrassed her in front a all her homies. My mites were bleedin pretty bad…but youz nose watt? I took it like a man…and I’s was only 10 maybe 11. (**** her)

After looking back on it I’s tink it jus mighta made me da man I am’s taday. I don’t know if youz no dis but my hood specaity is smackin hands wit a metal edged rula til dem bums pay dare VIG. Tanks teach wherever you is.


Dat's a true story from da hart you no's.

 

[Zurg]

Originally posted by Wagamama
Who you calling round, Bubba?!

Jeeze wattz 'rong wit jou? I said 'round not round!
Youz needa getta betta atta 'ear'n pronounciating.

 

[Wagamama]

oh, just making sure were both on the same page...

 

[lilboo]

Von's not round...she's CUUUUUURVY.


I liked the piano story Charles...it was very moving.


I'm afraid to "Click HERE for a prize!"

 

[Wagamama]

hehehehe!! I'm curvy or as i like to call it, pleasantly plump! (not to be confused with "a lump" )


I can't read chahlies story....i need to work on my joisy accent reading

 

[charlie,nj]

Hey Waggy like I says in da dye thread..glads ta see dat you is still alive n kickin. But dis I will tell you because youz was a bad gurl Zurggy and me had to let lose wit da second plague. Dat wood be da “night of the Midol” plague. So’s you betta keeps in line.

Getting back ta me story bout dat rula…like I says I was known for using dat little metal rula on guys whos don’t pay dare vig on time. Nows I wooden go right up ta dem and start whacking dare mits wit the rula. I had a hole ting I did..sorta like a little show. We wood get da name a da stiff from da boss. Pepe and me would go ta da bums house and wait fer him ta appear.

Oh let me introduce my one man crew Pepe. He’s a good hood. Well anyways Pepe and me wait fer da guy ta come home sweet home. When we sees him we walk up ta him and ask fer da dough. If he gots it den fine no harm no foulball. If he doesn’t got it watch out. I tells Pepe to get the portable 8-track player outta da car. He gets it and stands behind me. He puts in da tape a dat song Born Free…da one dat I played at dat pie-ann-o resightal for dem old cave women…da ones dat laughed at me.

Well let me tall you yes-sury-bob..when I hears dat tune I got nutzy. I get just like dat guy from dat old Hey Abbet and Costello program…you know dat guy dat goes crazy everytime the fat little one says Viagra Falls.Viagra Falls… slowly I turn… step bye step. (Dat little fat guy had a rough life wit gettin smacked by the skinny one all a da time.) Any ways…when I hears dat song it’s “slowly I whack…inch by inch” until I gots da guy who owes da money crying like a new born. Teach him good not ta stiff da boss.

Werks every time!

Hey lilboo tanks fer liking my story..but I don’t tink I asked you ta read it..now did I. I taught you ya ya’s was gonna scram outta dis thread. And hey I tinkin you musta got the name lilboo because a …you knows what. Wells don’t worry I here day gots special garments in dat Victor Victoria Sercrets catalog dat could maybe gives you a lift. Dens maybe youz could change your name.

Hey Zurg I was reading one a your wifes posts..and lo and behold she gots dat so and so days free from cheaping ting in her sig. I didn’t nose dat you was having a problem wit her.Sorry.

 

[WillyJ]

Sorry Charlie, but always remember.. .

I was Corn Cool
Before Corn Cool
Was Cool. . .

 

[charlie,nj]

Yo Willy nice ta see’s ya postin on dis thread. It is also good ta see dat you will be visiting da Philly crew fer a while..I am sure Zurg could use da back up. (but keep your good eye on zurgswife..I tinks she a real character..she is)

I hope you got’s the blessin from duh Florida lemonade crew ta use dat “corn cool” logo..I heard da head a dat family is a real killa. He has a ting fer cars blowin up and arranging little accidents at baseball games. Unfortunately he has not perfected doin it on other peoples..he has been da one on the receiving end a his contracts so far. I guess you could says he puts contracts out on himself. (I wonder if he has ta pay himself?)

I see’s dat you likes dat jersey guy Springstein ..ya no he is a real tough nut ta crack. We’s been tryin ta get him ta drop that e street band and go solo fer years now. We wants ta throw a monkey suit on him and set him up in Vegas wit a two show a night deal. Sorta like dat Dwayne Fig Newton guy. You know dat guy who sings dat song about sneezing. Dat Bruce ain’t going fer it fer notin. Seems dat duh big man Clarence gots some homies in dat hood protectin his guy Springstein.

 

[Zurg]

Hey Charlie,

Sorry I bin otta da loop a liddle. Me young hoods been wanten ta git dat new book bout dat furren magical hood. Youz nose da guy dey call him da-hood-whoz-musta-no-be-named er loud voltymalt er sum ting like dat.

I tink its good da kiddie read 'bout hoods.

dey otta wrote da book from da hood's pointa view butt otta dan da da book is ok. Da kiddies dey like da hood putten da contract on da do goodie two shoes kid an all.

So I says i'll gitta book fer da kiddies. Da ya knowz dey had all kinda securty an copper looken after da books an we coudn't even hijack one like a hood otta - ya know. So we go ta da store ta buy one o da tings. I waz tinken dis aint right ting fer da little hoods ta be see'n - watt pay'en fer da book en all.

But it turnz out ok see. Da place is got lotsa peoples dere in da store all night. Da little hoods could work da crowd see, do'in da classic stuff like da guy in da olde book da we hadda read fer da penguins, (youz knowz da penguins - da onez whoz teached youz how ta use da ruller?) - watta waz dat book called....., oh yeah Olive Twist wid da Arty Dodgy guy, I was like da guy Fadin' wid da little hoods worken da crowd. We mada ton o cash! So it turns outta be a good ting fer da kidz anywayz.

(Olive & a Twist. ya know I been in da fancy bar where dey have da drink widda twist or widda da olive but I nevvva seen no body git both like dat - dat writer guy musta drunk too much huh?)

Anywayz I been readen da book ta da kiddies and dey sure do sound funny dem ferren axsents. Da only guy in da book dat knows howz ta talk is da big guy, Hagrid. To bad hez on da wrong side a da book - he be a good enforcer gotta da size fur it.

 

[charlie,nj]

Zurg so glad ta hear from ya…I taught you was swimmin wit da fishies or worse yet I taught maybe you became da foundation a sum building sumwhere’s. I don’t know what happened ta dat Waggy…but I see’s dat she is planin some kinda big beantown family meeting dis Friday. I hope she ain’t planin on takin over da east coast crew. Imagine dat! A dame runnin da east coast crew…now dat’s a disasser waitin ta happin.

I could see’s it now…just tink if a hood is waitin fer da word ta bump sumone off. If Waggy happins ta be on dat womens time of da month da werd might never come. She would probably be off in her bedroom cryin or eatin chocolate. All dough it could also be da other way two. If she’s got dat PMS (Punish Me S***) ting..it could be curtains fer any body getting in her way. When da Mrs is on dat PMS she usally throws tings at me. I still don’t no why she’s got’s ta punish me..what did I do? She once hit me in da bean wit a big old coffe mug..och boy did dat hert! I had ta go ta sum which doctor ta get da cut sewed up. I must admit dough.it did leave a pretty cool looking scar. Sorta looks like da state a New Jersey.

I read your thread bout dat wizard guy book..one ting if I was you I wood never post any pitchers of myself or crew. You never nose who is looking at dis internet ting. Don’t forget what happened ta dat guy at da baseball game..who had his kisser on da big screen. Sumbody see’s it and now he is in da joint fer two years. All fer kissin a broad. Goes right back ta what me mom’s told me..that broads are notin but trouble. My smart guy boy tells me dat millions a peoples from all over da werld could be looking at tings here. If I post a pitcher a me..I am usally in a disguise. I did see dat sum of dem young hoods in your pitchers did where disguises. Dat’s good and all.

As far as knockin off one a dem book stores or trucks..dat’s small potatoes. The real ting is ta get sum bucks from dat dame who wrote dose books. I heard she bagged 50 million bucks fer dat latest book. Ya no dat just kills me..here I been hoodin all my life and what ta I got ta show fer it? Not much..a few VCR’s and TV’s ..big whoop! Here dis chick makes up sum stories bout fairies and “ah bra cadaver” …she’s in da money. Go figure!

Like dat guy Bobby Dillon said “times dey are a changin”.

 

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by charlie,nj
I don’t know what happened ta dat Waggy…but I see’s dat she is planin some kinda big beantown family meeting dis Friday. I hope she ain’t planin on takin over da east coast crew. Imagine dat! A dame runnin da east coast crew…now dat’s a disasser waitin ta happin.

yeah, my crews gonna kick the &^$*^%& out of youzes crews and take ovah the hole east coast crew. joisy and filly pffff!

Originally posted by charlie,nj
I could see’s it now…just tink if a hood is waitin fer da word ta bump sumone off. If Waggy happins ta be on dat womens time of da month da werd might never come. She would probably be off in her bedroom cryin or eatin chocolate. All dough it could also be da other way two. If she’s got dat PMS (Punish Me S***) ting..it could be curtains fer any body getting in her way.

ya bettah believe it chahley, don't evah mess with me when i's is havin mine ya wont like watcha sees!

 

[Wagamama]

yo zurgy boy, whats shakin in cheesteak town?