Regarding posts on the Community Board

[Zurg]

Na notting takend da wrong way Charlie, I tink dat hole Deano ting was real stupid o me.

I may be a little stupid but I aint dumb dough. I'll nevva git in one o dose Rita truck no sir not me. Day blow up! You never notice dat? In my family we pays attentive to da vehcycles dat blow up.

Da yeller Rita trucks is always blow up and da Feds dey is always finden da little bitty parts wid da numbers. Den dey go ta da renal joint and iz a big pain in da kiddneys. Dey get da guy whose fake ID rented it, an' den dey bust da guy who made da fake ID, an' den he rats you out.

No sir, I'm gonna borrow my trucks fair and honest like dey done in da ole days.

Sorry ta 'ear youz gotta legal issues. What wid da mouthpiece Abe an all. Say dat Abe did'n he have da hood who was actin' all nutty just to beat da wrap? Walkin round in da robe and talken da himself an all?

Abe - he got you werken on da diminishing capacity defence too?
Dat is a good depends, oh or is dat what you doin widda youz pantz - got it good one! i'll try ta keep dat in mind next time I go ta see da distinguished council. just pee on his chair, even iffen youz don wanna go fer da serctor 8 depencs just da pee'en on da mouthpeice's floor would be worth it for all dey charge?

Youz know I think da mouth peice otta have to do some time if yo gotta 'cause he diddn't get youz off. Youz ever ting bout dat, I mean other dan dat youz could just wack da guy what does he care if you go ta da big house? Dese bums dey charge youz by da hour iffa youz beat the bum wrap or if youz don't beat it.

I see dat Waggy chick been maken time in da funny papers. Lots of jokey posts, da dame even been maken fun o me in sum o dem. Maybe I betta call Deano's mouthpeice and be sure I'm getten a pice o her action (gotta be sure da guy works on a contagiously cut'a what he earns me not buy da hour eh?)

 

[charlie,nj]

Tank youz Zurk fer takin dat comment da right way. I’s dwas a little bit a scared dat chew might be takin a ballbatt ta my noodle or sumtin. I am glad you can takes sum construction crittersczum .Maybe I am da stupido one I forgot bout dem rita trucks doing da disappearing act. Hey did youz here da 1 bout da new phone number fer rita..it’s 1-***-blow-rita. Get it in teds a 1-***-go-rita.. get it.. get it. Ha ha ha. Oh no dare I go again wit da peaing. (sorrie if's you tink dat joke was in bad taste..but dat was going round da hood at da time) On a more important note doze bums who did dat truck blowin up gig was not any a us hoods. Dey was dem no good terrorasses. Dem bums..you tink Bush is da only one wit a contact out on dem..no no baby every good hood in da US of A is after dem bums. How dare dey do da on our soy-u.

Do youz all no I lives in Jersey City bout a couple a blocks away’s from way dem bums rentdid that truck in 1993 ta blow up da WTC.. The stupid terrorasses rent da ting..load it wit da bombs..drive it over ta da big apple..blow it up…dhen da dopes come back ta da rentdell place fer dare $20 deposit… tell me dey ain’t playin wit a full deck. I tanks God we at least got dem fer dat… to bad we’s could not stop dem on Sept 11th. (God Bless da US a A)

Yeah you hit da mark on da head wit da Abe ting. He wasn’t da mouthpiece who told da wiseguy ta where da robe..he was da genius who told him ta where dat big floopy hat. It worked fer a long while. And srcrew dem dare sharks wit all da moo-la we be handen dem ta keeps us otta da big house. Dey should be payin us fer getting dare mugs in da news papers and all. We been makin dem bums more famous den us. If ‘in da don’t get a hood off dey should go ta “da field da lawyers” in the swamps a Jersey …dat would be a place way’s we send dem fer screwin up. A little permanmnet vacation dare..a one way ticket if youz gets watt I means. (hey Pete does dat Dreams limited thingy have one way tickets fer “da field da lawyers” ha ha ha

And I wish I could says dat I am just pulling a fast one wit da pea’in but I am not. I am tinkin I need some help in dat department. I was tinkin a going ta a hip-o-dis type guy. Maybe he could put da wammy on me so’s I don’t pea when I laugh.

Dat broad Waggy hit it big wit dat year book ting. She tinks she is hot stuff all a da sudden. I am tinkin we’s should jump her fer suma da reply and view counts she got on dat thread da hers. Zurg I don’t tink we needs ta ask da blessings ta do it. If’in youz n me’s is da only ones involved..lets keep it on the QT. 50..50 ..OK

Like I saz before I will have more ta say bout dat big mouth broad ...lata. She is screwing it up fer all us guys wit her fast talkin.

 

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by charlie,nj
Dat broad Waggy hit it big wit dat year book ting. She tinks she is hot stuff all a da sudden. I am tinkin we’s should jump her fer suma da reply and view counts she got on dat thread da hers. Zurg I don’t tink we needs ta ask da blessings ta do it. If’in youz n me’s is da only ones involved..lets keep it on the QT. 50..50 ..OK

Like I saz before I will have more ta say bout dat big mouth broad ...lata. She is screwing it up fer all us guys wit her fast talkin.

 

[Zurg]

Ay dat phone ting iz kinda funny, youz otta send it inta dat 'Mericas funniest hood videos ting 1-***-blow-rita dat is very funny stuff.

Da dummy terrorasses aint too quick - commen back fer da 20 dulla bill - 5 'll get ya 10 dat de stinken 20 in question was printen by one a da hoods. Funny a monney as youz Rita song.

Yeah da Waggy shez cutten into our view count alrite. Hearz da ting dat got me tinken. It aint no tinken bout no blessings ta do it, 'cauze I knows neither of us is bugged or would say a word so well no blessen needed just like dat Jimmy Helfa guy - jest gone.

No waz gatta me tinken is da doin it.

Dat chick got more waggy tongues round her dan I ever did see, well at lease dis side o your feild o dreams watt wid all dem mouthpieces der. (by da by - dat is sum real guud tinken on youz part bout getten da Deams Unlimited ta do a holesale job on da mouthpeices dat don't get da hood offa da bumb wraps. De do a good job dem Deam babes - da wife gatta little sick o da snow las winner an da Dreams chicks CC and I think maybe sum otta one did a deal fer us on da Mousey boat trip, dey gotta deal on some booze down dere maybe we otta tink about looken inta de imports ya know?)

Anyways like I was sayen, da waggy chick's - she got all dese waggy tongues around and I don't wanna get no slobber on me so I aint doing no job dere meself.

Now I aint sayen she dont got it coming - watt wid the tryen ta rat me out as a tag fairy an all. I aint gonna be listenen ta all da winery chicks on da CB see, dey is alway yacken bout fairy dis and fairy dat an I wouldn't get no peace.

Now dere maybe is da up side - if dey was tinken I was da fairy den I was tinken maybe I could get in ta da festive guy dayz in da parks and dat maybe would be a fun time an all but not enough da put up wid all da winery all year - nope not dis hood.

Any ways da 50 50 sounds OK but like I say I aint gonna be dere da get all slobbery.

 

[Wagamama]

Originally posted by Zurg
Any ways da 50 50 sounds OK but like I say I aint gonna be dere da get all slobbery.

 

[lilboo]

So this is the secret greyside meeting place... ...Zurg's a TF?

Oooh...I get it! Wags is like a PR front man...stirs the pot...keeps the TFs name on the "front page"...the whole ZURG/Greyside vs. the TFs thing keeps the allegiance and attention on the TF up....it's all making sense.

But why'd she try to rat Zurg out? Mysterious...did she just need a little bigger piece of the pie...?

Well..if so...she's a BONAFIDE superstar, gentlemen...I think contract negotiations are in order. (As her agent I get 10%)

(And Von as a warning...don't push these guys too hard...I'm not sure about this crowd...it's been a long time since we'd last heard from Ricola...they're dragging the river now.)

 

[Zurg]

Yo, Charlie, I may needa wack dis liboo chick, ya knows a hood dat werks da Ya Ya place?

 

[Wagamama]

ya touch a hair on booboo's face and i'll deck ya!! got that zurgie boy?

Booboo...10%? how about 5ish?

 

[lilboo]

Originally posted by Zurg
Yo, Charlie, I may needa wack dis liboo chick, ya knows a hood dat werks da Ya Ya place?

<img src="http://www.cats-and-dog.de/starauge.gif">
Aawww...I understand Zurg perfectly! He just needs a little love and affection....Kisses!<img src="http://www.cats-and-dog.de/tststs.gif">


Eeeh...7.5%? And I'll even throw in guaranteed thread/post support everytime someone mentions 'tongue fetish'.

 

[Wagamama]

7.5%? um.....how about 6.5%? And I'll throw in a ticket to the next Oscar's (provided i'm there of course).

 

[charlie,nj]

OK furst tings furst! Ta da bum who PM’ed me n tells me ta stop wit da pea talkin. I gots one ting ta saz ta you. Why don’t you meat me like a man mug ta mug, youz name da palce n time wise guy.

Now on ta da matter at lodge..dem chick gangs and dem loud mout dames. I ting it all went sour when dat broad Gloria Sternum started moutin off bout burning da bra’s n such. I’s ting she is jus mad dat she is named afta a freakin bone. I didn’t minds da bra burning bit two much. Let’s jus say I loved da visiul view on the eddie eyeballs…but I hated da verbal views on da ears. Dames wantin equal rights watt a bunch of crap. Dat G-L-O-R-I-A put sum bum ideas in da housewifes noggins. I want my woman ta sit at da home sweet home n ten two me and me boys hand n foot. Dat’s da ways it dwas n dat’s da ways I wants it. Finneato!

Let us get on wit dat Waggy broad problem. I’s come home sweet home froms a long hard day a hoodin. I walk in da home sweet home tinkin me wife will meat me wit me robe n slippers. I dhen expected ta see a hot meal on da dinner table n all. Do I gets these few a me favorite tings? NO! I looks n see’s a note from da wifes wriiten on da fancy station. It says n I quotes: “hello buns , hows bout meating me upstairs in da bedroon fer a good time..Huba huba” (now don’t go kidin me bout my knickname..youz)

Nows I go’s upstairs tingin dat dis better be sum kinda joke , fer her snake. So’s I walk in da bedroom n dat she is laying on da bed. She is all dolled up in da red special occassion silk little number dat we brought in da big K. (and it wasn’t on no blue light special e-du) Last time she wores dat was when I’s gets off fer da knockin offa dat jewelry store in Hohocus, New Jersey. (Abe came threw on dat one…saved himself a trip ta dat “field a lawyers”..ha ha ha)

Oh one more ting youz nose watt..my honey is a big boned gurly. I likes da gurls wit a little meat on da bone if youz no watt I mean. More dare ta grab. (I tink I can say dat on da dis but not dat other saying) I don't like doze gross twiggy type chicks..notin dare. I ting I likes da bigger gurls cause day reminds me a me dear old ma. Was dat jus one a dem Uncle Floydian Slippers? Opps.

Well any ways I’s nearly blow me top..since when does da broad ask fer da whoopi furst? Since never dat’s when! Is da werld goin upsides down a sumtin? I likes ta be da one ta do da askin fer da whoopi furst..if youz no’s watt I means. (wink wink) I like ta git a little red vino n put on sum a dem Andy Bocelli tunes on da victrola…works everytime. (dat Andy was delta bum hand in life..but youz gots ta admit he made da best a it..right?)

Get dis I sayz ta da wife wear da you get doff asking fer da whoopi furst? She tells me dat she was on da Dis all a da times I was out hoodin. She says she starts reading all doze posts by dat Waggy gurl. She says dat day gives her sum ideas especially dem ones wit da tongue and all. She says she wants ta now experiment in da bedroom. I am now fumin like a red hot silly pepper. I tells her dat she ain’t no scientist and dat da bedroom ain’t no laboratory! She started ta cry a little..see what you does you home wrecker Waggy? I will tells youz dis if my woman says ta me dat I need ta start takin doze little blue guys..I am gonna give dat Waggy a knule sandwich. (I don’t need da stuff I found dat garlic does da trick just fine)

So’s Waggy gurl me n da boys are askin you pretty ta please lay offa da fast talkin posts. Us guys like it da way it uses ta be. I am sick and tired of all a da dames sayin “ I am’s women here me raw!” Da only times I want ta here a dame rawin in in da bedroom not in da boardroom! Get me!

Now I takes a look see and see da we gots anotda broad on dis thread..dat lilboo chick. Did youz get a load a da pitcher on her post…it’s a guys butt. Hey lilboo why don’t you go and take dem ya ya’s wit chew. Like doze long hair freaks da Rollin Stones sings..Get your ya ya’s outa hear! Dem ya ya threads is notin but trouble!

Yo Zurg we gots some probles here we’s might need ta call in Chicago.

 

[Wagamama]

hey chahley....

maybe i should have a haht to haht with ya wife...

 

[charlie,nj]

Dare you go talkin all blue again…I’ll haves ya no dat my wifes not inta dat kinda stuff. (not dat dare is anyting wrong wit dat kinda lifes style..you noze)

Hey dare Waggy…I see’s from anothda thread that youz a regular Wagamama Scorsese. I wishes you da best a luck in your schoolin. Hey maybe I will call you WagScorsese from now on..ha ha. Good lucks from da boyz.

Oh one more ting..dis is a pitcher a me when I was a youth. Nice lookin ain't I?(and don’t go makin any cracks bout my small mout!)

pitcher a me in my 20's

 

[Wagamama]

chahley...

first off...tanks! i hope to a scorcese type director/writer some day...

two...i didnt mean that kind of haht to haht...i's meant a tahk wit ya wife abouts yous attitude. maybe she shud staht standin up to yous?

three... thats a very joisy-esque pictah of you...very um...masculin...

 

[Zurg]

Hey Charlie,

Watt kinda dame goes around puttten a sign up sayen shez been "cheat free" for 1 day?

Jeeze watta she gonna tell youz loverly bride ta do, wait a day den cheat on charlie? Watt in da werld is dat all 'bout.

I hope youz sainted ma don't here da waggy dame talken like dat to youz bride.

 

[charlie,nj]

Yeah Zurg I saws dat signage in her ting..I didn’t get it either…I tink dat Waggy is goin a little wackado on us..if’s ya nose watt I means.

I would neva tell me dear old ma bout those tings Waggy wants ta saz ta me bride..I tinks she wood be eatin a dirt pie if I told her.

Talkin bout cheatin I personally never wood…my dames read me dat riot act on dat. She sayz if I ever gets busted cheatin on her …shes gotta turn me inta da next Funny Cide. (now dats not funny at all)

 

[Wagamama]

LOL!!! Funny Cide!! LOL!!! that's cute!

Ya don't scare me!!!

 

[charlie,nj]

Ya’s nose watts da best part a dis thead is? If you notice Alex musda set sum kinda doohickey (calm down Waggy) so’s only da tree a us can post ta it. Tanks Alex. (but can’s ya checks how doze few other dis’ers weaseled on ta it)

 

[Pam]

Now I takes a look see and see da we gots anotda broad on dis thread..dat lilboo chick. Did youz get a load a da pitcher on her post…it’s a guys butt. Hey lilboo why don’t you go and take dem ya ya’s wit chew. Like doze long hair freaks da Rollin Stones sings..Get your ya ya’s outa hear! Dem ya ya threads is notin but trouble!

Now see here, little big man, Charlie........ nobody and I mean, nobody threatens one of my little YaYas - Waggy or lilboo or anyone. I might be a barefoot, roadkill scrapin' backwoods hick - but I know how to load and shoot a muzzeloader and how to whack a man in the jewels with a tree trunk - and I don't take too kindly to having my kinfolk threatened. You don't want me to saddle up Old Betsy, my mule and come gunnin' for you - you could end up in the ocean with your namesake, Charlie the Tuna!!

 

[lilboo]

Originally posted by Pam
You don't want me to saddle up Old Betsy, my mule and come gunnin' for you - you could end up in the ocean with your namesake, Charlie the Tuna!!

Yeah...floatin' down the river, gentlemen...!

Oh Pam...we must send out flowery engraved invitations for all the other chatty ladies of the DIS to come by...we could REALLY spruce this place up...some flowers..a couple of bowls of potpourri(not for consumption VON!)...mmmm oh Nancy and SHep can bring chocolates and Yankee Candles...won't that be FESTIVE!!

Let's get the guest list...hmmm..:

THe Yayas of course, the Cheerleaders, the EWP, the Riddlers...oh and theWDWWDS, they're so racy! Such fun...clapclap!!