Question for spouses.

[crazyme5kids]

When my husband took a new position at a different company, he was given an assistant. I can't stand her. If your spouse has or had an assistant that you just can't or couldn't stand, how did you deal with it?

 

[vickyBaby]

There is nothing for you to deal with -- you don't work there.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Your right I don't work there, but my husband does. I call him and there are many times we are in the same room together. So I do have to deal with her.

 

[vickyBaby]

I call him and there are many times we are in the same room together. So I do have to deal with her.

Oh heck I would tell my husband I don't do threesomes either.

I still don't get why you have a problem - You don't work there. You don't have any say in who does or does not have a position with the company.

Heck, might as well divorce him if it bothers you that much.

 

[Nancyg56]

If you worked with someone you disliked you would still need to treat that person in a courteous respectful manner. This is no different. You are never required to like someone, but if you feel as though you need to deal with her it would be in the same way. Anything else could reflect poorly on your DH.

 

[hydster]

You just suck it up on a daily basis!! Unless you are part owner of the company you have no recourse! I know how you feel but honestly there isn't anything you can do except deal with it. Can you get DH a cell that you call him on and not an office phone? If not then I don't see any way around the assistant.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I think I can understand where you are coming from - it's not just that you don't like her, but rather that your husband doesn't not like her like you do, and you wished he couldn't stand her - right?

But in all honesty, there is nothing you can do. He works there, so does she. She's his assistant, and there is a great deal of "brotherhood/sisterhood" that goes along with working with someone for eight hours a day, five days a week. They have to depend on one another - she as his assistant, and he as her boss. I know that I work with two men at my work - one under me, and one above me. We count on one another. Even though DF wouldn't want to, and probably doesn't like associating with them, he respects that they are my co-workers. I couldn't imagine him saying "I can't stand S and S." Why? He doesn't have to deal with them! And if he does, it's a pretty big sign that he is spending too much time at my work!!!

As long as she isn't mean to you, I see no reason why you should be bothered. If she is mean, talk to your DH.

But really, WHY is it that you can't stand her? You haven't really said.

 

[JadenLayne]

Why don't you like her? Does she come on to your husband? If thats the case HE needs to deal with her. Is she rude to you? If thats the case I still think your husband needs to deal with it.

I'm not going to say it's not your business because he's your husband but I am curious to why you don't like her.

 

[ilovejack02]

I worked at Edward Jones Investments for several yrs. When I was hired it was for an older gentleman whom I loved. He and I worked alone in our own office. Well he quit a cpl of yrs later and I ended up with a much younger guy, who I didnt really like but we got along ok. He was newly married and he and his wife had some issues. Normally she was pretty nice, but when they fought she was such a WITCH on the phone and very rude.

So what do you do when you hate your bosses wife???

Answer is be as nice and professional as possible and hope for the best.

Maybe you should try getting along with your Dh's assistant a little more and get to know her better. My best friend's hubby owns his own business and has 2 assistants. My best friend doesnt love them, but she does what she can to have a good relationship with them because they make her husband's business profitable and help make her Dh's life easier.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My husband and I worked together at the same company for a few years before we both moved on to other jobs.

There was a time when there was a girl who worked with him at the first company that I could NOT stand. It took every bone in my body to not hiss at her. She flirted with him, would put her arm on hs shoulder, etc. Drove me nuts.

Then I realized that she knew what she was doing and was getting pleasure in seeing me squirm. She could give a hoot about my husband.

So I ignored her. Made her SOOOOO mad that she couldn't get a rise out of me any longer.

So, I would suggest to you that you do everything you can to ignore her. I have no idea WHY you don't like this gal, but apparently she is doing something to get your goat. Or maybe figure out why you don't like this lady and try to find something to bridge that gap. (Maybe you have a common interest like sewing or handbag collecting or Disney?)

 

[crazyme5kids]

If you worked with someone you disliked you would still need to treat that person in a courteous respectful manner. This is no different. You are never required to like someone, but if you feel as though you need to deal with her it would be in the same way. Anything else could reflect poorly on your DH.

Yep I agree with you. I'm mature enough to conduct myself in that manner. I deal with people all the time, I know how to handle myself in a business situation. It's not in my nature to be rude or nasty (even with people I don't care for).

From day one his assistant has been rude and disrespectful towards me. I don't care if she doesn't like me, but at least be courteous and show some respect. I am not the only one who has mentioned her attitude to my husband. Last night he saw how she acted in regards to me. He wasn't happy about it either. She has made it very uncomfortable for me to even call him. No I don't call him 900 times a day. I might call him once or twice a week.

I would just like to try and figure out what I could do to better handle this situation. I find I am starting to avoid going to see my husband. For example, he wanted me and our kids to go see him at work Fri. night. I made up an excuse so that I wouldn't have to go. I shouldn't have to avoid calling or seeing my husband because of her.

If I knew I had done anything to her I could understand it. That isn't the case. She really has acted this way from the minute I met her.

 

[ilovejack02]

Yep I agree with you. I'm mature enough to conduct myself in that manner. I deal with people all the time, I know how to handle myself in a business situation. It's not in my nature to be rude or nasty (even with people I don't care for).

From day one his assistant has been rude and disrespectful towards me. I don't care if she doesn't like me, but at least be courteous and show some respect. I am not the only one who has mentioned her attitude to my husband. Last night he saw how she acted in regards to me. He wasn't happy about it either. She has made it very uncomfortable for me to even call him. No I don't call him 900 times a day. I might call him once or twice a week.

I would just like to try and figure out what I could do to better handle this situation. I find I am starting to avoid going to see my husband. For example, he wanted me and our kids to go see him at work Fri. night. I made up an excuse so that I wouldn't have to go. I shouldn't have to avoid calling or seeing my husband because of her.

If I knew I had done anything to her I could understand it. That isn't the case. She really has acted this way from the minute I met her.

Just call her on it! Ill be damned if someone is going to make me feel like i cant call my dh or visit him. I would be nice and mature, but I would just say I really feel like we some how got off on the wrong foot, what can I do to make it too you ? Kill her with kindness I say!

 

[monkeyboy]

I have 2 assistants

 

[Nancy]

I think your husband needs to step and talk to her then. If he saw how she treated you he needs to tell her that it is not acceptable and if she has issues with you, then maybe she should work for someone else.

Maybe she doesn't like that you call him at work or stop into visit, not that it is her business but some people think it is their business what everyone else does.

And if worse comes to worse your husband needs to tell his superiors that she is not working out and ask to get another assistant assigned to him.

 

[vickyBaby]

From day one his assistant has been rude and disrespectful towards me. I don't care if she doesn't like me, but at least be courteous and show some respect.

I don't blame you. She has no business being rude!!!! What is her problem? Send her a case of ex-lax.

 

[Tybug]

Definately your husband's place to call her on it. How does he feel about your concerns?

 

[m&m's mom]

I think it would be very unprofessional for a supervisor to tell someone "to be nicer to my wife". Unless you are a customer and she is rude to you in a business deal, I would not say anything.
I think it makes you look like whiney wife to say anything or have your DH say anything.

 

[crazyme5kids]

As far as trying to get to know her goes I would try if given the chance. She literally turns her back to me. She won't even look at me to say hello. The first 4 times I called him on his office phone I didn't know it was her. I would identify myself and she would simply say, "Hold on." and click that was it. No "Oh hi M it's J, hold on I'll get him."

I'm sorry, but the way I answer the phone at work is to identify myself. If the person calling happens to be the spouse of my boss or a co-worker I will always ask how they are etc... To me that's just being courteous and respectful not only to the spouse but my co-worker too.

 

[ilovejack02]

As far as trying to get to know her goes I would try if given the chance. She literally turns her back to me. She won't even look at me to say hello. The first 4 times I called him on his office phone I didn't know it was her. I would identify myself and she would simply say, "Hold on." and click that was it. No "Oh hi M it's J, hold on I'll get him."

I'm sorry, but the way I answer the phone at work is to identify myself. If the person calling happens to be the spouse of my boss or a co-worker I will always ask how they are etc... To me that's just being courteous and respectful not only to the spouse but my co-worker too.

You are prob just going to have to say to her, Hello Jane how are you today, even if she doesnt look at you. If she still continues to ignore you, keep going. Say i love that skirt, or blouse or whatever. Just keep going with it she will eventually have to answer. She also should be identifying herself when she answers the phone and your DH can tell her she must do that.
I was given a specific script at my last job and it included identifying myself.As far as someone saying DH shouldnt correct her on her rudeness... maybe he shouldnt say you have to be nice to my wife, but he needs to let her know she MUST be polite and nice to EVERYONE that calls.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Yes, but I rarely saw her and I didn't dislike her that much. He's had a couple of good ones, too. It didn't really affect me either way.