question for parents of "unsupervised" teens

[Boo]

In reading the post about unsupervised teens running around on the ship at late hours- I have a question for these parents. My concern isn't so much about loud or messy teens, but what about safety? Since I only have babies I don't know how parents of teens deal with this issue. Shouldn't parents be concerned about the safety of their teens as if their children were vacationing in any other city? Would you let your 16 year old out and about until 1:30 in the morning if vacationing in Chicago? I know I'm playing devil's advocate here, but I think one of the best (or should I say worst) kept secrets of the cruiselines are the amount of rapes that occur on board. I'm not saying at all that DCL cruise line is part of some vast conspiracy. But I would think parents would use the same caution for their teens on what is technically a small "city". Do you want to bet your child's safety on each and every passenger and employee being nothing but a model citizen? Just a thought...

 

[disboo]

As the parent of a 22 year old, 19 year old, and a 17 year old, I know that there are many aspects with which to be concerned. First, of course, do you trust your children to behave correctly themselves? Second, have they learned to take proper safety precautions when they are out on their own in the real world? Third, do they know how to access help quickly and efficiently if necessary? Fourth, have you set up times and ways for regular check ins?

My kids have had some practice in being in the real world. By the age of 17, each has gone to rock concerts with trusted friends, traveled on public transportation at night with trusted friends, walked around our fair city (Philadelphia) at night with trusted friends. They have proven trustworthy on these endeavors, and have as much self confidence and good sense as we can encourage in them.

Do I worry? Yes. Have there been problems? Yes. Have my kids learned from their (relatively minor) mistakes? Yes. Have I learned from their mistakes? Yes. Have we been lucky? Yes.

With all that said, I feel better when my kids have a sibling or friend to travel with. If they don't, then their check-in requirements are more strenuous. (Call when you are going from one place to another, check in at certain times, tell us who you are hanging out with, several face-to-faces each day, etc.)

We took two 17 year old boys on a three day cruise recently. They spent some time together and some time apart. They followed all of our rules, and we felt that they were as safe as could be on the ship. They had a blast!

 

[JODIELYN]

We have a large group of teens traveling with us on our upcoming cruise... they are 17, 15, 15, 14, 13, 13. They are all good kids. No problems here at home and they all know how to follow the rules.

They will have specific guidelines to follow, specific check in times, and they will always be with at least one other person from that group.

We will have no problem letting them be out with their Common Grounds group until late in the evening... providing they follow the rules...

No follow rules? No freedom...

It's their vacation too...

Just my opinion...

Jodie

 

[atigeg]

We don't have kids, but I'll toss out the comments by our tablemates on one of our cruises. It was a couple with a teenage son, and they told us that they are typically very strict with him and monitor his whereabouts closely. However, on the cruise they felt that is was more of a "safe" environment. I suppose a lot of that hinges on how much you trust your child...some kids will do fine with more freedom, and some might be more prone to getting into trouble. This teen seemed like a very nice, responsible young man. His parents insisted that he have dinner with them each night, and then he was allowed to join his friends for late night fun. It was funny to see the anticipation growing each night as we worked our way through the meal.
In 26 Disney cruises, I'm pleased to say that we have rarely seen teens causing trouble...the only two incidents that come to mind is seeing someone break the basketball backboard (we watched on the deck cam on our stateroom t.v.) and a group of teens running through the halls without regard for others. But two incidents in 26 cruises is not bad at all...I think overall most kids enjoy the freedom and seem to not abuse it.
Barb
Visit the Platinum Castaway Club at: www.castawayclub.com

 

[FantasticDisFamily]

Growing up is tough. Getting through teen years is tough. But at some point it has to happen...unless of course we want them dependent on us all of their lives!

The buddy system is critical, and of course there are rules. Obviously a 17 year old should be allowed more freedom than a 13 year old. And violation of the rules/trust results in loss of freedom.

Is it a risk? Of course. Do I worry everytime a new step is taken? Of course, the same way but different (ok only a parent is going to understand that!) I did when they were taking their first steps, or going to school on the bus alone the first time, or countless other firsts over the years.

As parents we can help them to learn the skills they need, impose some rules, but eventually they are going out into the world along. I'd rather have a "trial run" in a slightly more contained environment.

Deb

 

[FOJMO]

Thank you to all of you who answered boo's question so very logically and eloquently. I couldn't have said it better myself. We have a 16 yr old DD and she and her same-age friend accompanied us on our Eastern Disney cruise last November and will do so again next May on the Western. Each day (except for port days), we would go our separate ways from them and meet up again at dinner and sometimes the show. Then, it was us to Rockin D and they to Common Grounds, or with their Common Grounds fellow teens.

We hit the cabin about 12 Mid or 1AM, and they came in around 2 AM or so. They know to stay with a group or, at the very least, each other. Neither was alone at any time.

The ones I worry about (and we have seen several instances of this), are the LITTLE kids on their own. Some have the walkie-talkies with them, some don't, but there is not a parent in sight! Now THAT's scary!

Our 16 yr old just got her first car this past weekend (we helped with down payment and she's working and making her own monthly payments) and this big step, along with many before it and I know many more to come later, is very nerve wracking. But we had a serious talk with her and she knows with the freedom also comes a lot of responsibility. You have to know that you've taught them the right thing to do and trust them to follow through.

The only place we draw the line on the cruise is that they must stay with us when we disembark at different ports. THAT is where I would worry...

 

[Alberta]

Yea I must say as a teen myself I was also out until about 2 am atleast, on the 7 day cruise! My parents have ALWAYS told me how responsible and mature they know I am and they let me go out with no curfew (although if I got in at four I'm sure they would NOT be impressed! lol). I know for myself I was never ever alone at night, all the teens were either together at studio sea or we were out walking the decks together. We had a group of atleast 20 teens all together and had a blast. There was never a time I was apart from that group (on the late nights). I also can't say I ever saw a person by him/herself at night.

Alberta