Question for all Non Catholic Christians

[onecoolmama]

I was talking to my mom tonight about another post. She is the Director of Religious Ed at her Catholic Church. She told me that in order to get married in the Catholic Churh you must be Baptized and Confirmed in the Catholic Church. You also have to go through many months of marriage counseling. Here's the thing, if you are not confirmed or have not recieved your first communion you must go through a year long program to get those sacraments. Then you still have to go through the marriage counseling.

Now for my question...is this true of your churches as well? Do you need have all the sacraments in your particular denomination in order to get married in your church?

Please let me know which denomination you are also...

 

[ead79]

I am Baptist. Most Baptist churches in the area require some sort of church sponsored premarital counseling. Usually you or someone related to you (like a parent) is a member of the church where you marry, though it is not a requirement. I believe you must be a professing Christian to marry at my church. You do not have to be baptized to be married at my church to my knowledge. However, Baptist churches recognize marriages not performed at the church. Thus, my WDW marriage is recognized even though it wasn't performed at the church. From my understanding from other Disney brides, the Catholic church will not recognize Disney weddings, so many of those brides have ceremonies at the local Catholic church, then have their receptions at WDW.

 

[onecoolmama]

Yup that is true. The catholic church only recognizes cermonies preformed at their church. So, you must get married in a Cathoic Church to have it recognized.

But you dont have to have been baptized or conifirmed in your church...good to know.

 

[KristaTX]

The Churches of Christ and the Southern Baptist churches I've been a part of do not require the couple to "convert" to the denomination. However, the person who will be performing the ceremony often will require the couple to take part in pre-marital counseling. It is usually helpful as far as I can tell, and it just lasts for a few sessions.

 

[Dizzy-Disney4]

You know what...I am no longer Catholic, but was raised Catholic and was married in the Catholic Church. I discovered something about the church. The rules largely depend on which church you go to and the priest. My Dad who is not Catholic was married in the church. But one church would not allow it. One church would not baptise my son because not both his God-parents were Catholic (one was)...but another Catholic church had no problem.

We now attend a UCC church and love it. Not sure of the rules for marriage and I am sure they reccomend pre-marital classes...but I don't believe it is required.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I am Lutheran, DH is Catholic. We were married in the Lutheran Church. We had to do a pre-marital counseling with a Pastor in our area. (We lived in MI and were getting married in IA.) The counseling consisted of us taking a compatibility test and then the Pastor discussing our differences with us.

My SIL is getting married this year. They are getting married in a Catholic Church. He is Metodist. They have to do the counseling, but nothing else.

 

[ead79]

onecoolmamma, we do not have confirmation per se. There is no set age or anything of that sort where children/young teens are confirmed into the church. We do offer classes for people of any age who accept Christ to learn the basics of the faith and of our church's beliefs.

 

[onecoolmama]

Originally posted by Dizzy-Disney4
You know what...I am no longer Catholic, but was raised Catholic and was married in the Catholic Church. I discovered something about the church. The rules largely depend on which church you go to and the priest. My Dad who is not Catholic was married in the church. But one church would not allow it. One church would not baptise my son because not both his God-parents were Catholic (one was)...but another Catholic church had no problem.

Are you me? I had the exact same thing. One church would only allow me to put down one godfather and one godmother for my kids the next let me put down 3 for each. One church was very strict and the godparents had to turn in letters from their church to tell them they were active...the other didnt care as long as one was confirmed in the church.

I was bron, raised and married in the Catholic Church. But the more i learn about them, the more I am turned off. My stepfather was not Catholic, but he was baptized in another Christain denomiation and they allowed the marriage becuase my mom was so active. So YUP..I agree 100% with you.

 

[onecoolmama]

Originally posted by Jenn Lynn
I am Lutheran, DH is Catholic. We were married in the Lutheran Church. We had to do a pre-marital counseling with a Pastor in our area. (We lived in MI and were getting married in IA.) The counseling consisted of us taking a compatibility test and then the Pastor discussing our differences with us.

LOL! Cathloics take that test too. DH and I failed..Seriously. You are only suppose to have it for 6 months and we had to go for an entire year because we had so many differences! I eventually told DH to lie! Which we did fine..and got through it. But yeah, we have that test too.

 

[binny]

we're Nazarene and while its suggested to have Pre Marital counseling it isnt a requirement.

We do offer Baptism but at the age of choice not birth. It also is not a requirement of marriage.

Communion is usually done once a quarter ( just the way it works out) and is not mandatory.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Originally posted by onecoolmama
LOL! Cathloics take that test too. DH and I failed..Seriously. You are only suppose to have it for 6 months and we had to go for an entire year because we had so many differences! I eventually told DH to lie! Which we did fine..and got through it. But yeah, we have that test too.

We had 2 "classes". One to take the test. One to discuss where we might have problems. Ex: I have very strong opinions one way or the other (no middle ground), DH is pretty much middle ground. He said this could be a problem, we just looked at each other like-DUH! We had already recognized it and were working on it.

The church my Mom wanted us to get married in required us to have 7 "intense" sessions with a lot of studying and various tests. I personally did not like the Pastor and refused to get married there.

 

[mamajoan]

Originally posted by onecoolmama
I was talking to my mom tonight about another post. She is the Director of Religious Ed at her Catholic Church. She told me that in order to get married in the Catholic Churh you must be Baptized and Confirmed in the Catholic Church. You also have to go through many months of marriage counseling. Here's the thing, if you are not confirmed or have not recieved your first communion you must go through a year long program to get those sacraments. Then you still have to go through the marriage counseling.

...

I realize that this may not be the answer you are looking for but felt I had to say something....

I felt that the above paragraph may be misleading to those not Catholic. I don't think the OP meant it to be that way,as she was just voicing her experience. Below is my experience with the Catholic Church regarding the sacraments.

Catholic Churches vary from Parish to Parish regarding Priest to Priest when rules come up regarding the sacrament of marriage.
Personally, DH and I are both Catholic, we attended 1 DAY of pre-marriage counseling refered to as PRE-CANA classes. This was held not at our parish but at another parish, but accepted by our priest. This was 24 years ago.. currently different parishes hold different types of pre-cana counseling, varying from several hours to a long weekend. Also, mixed marriages of different faiths are dealt with differenty from parish to parish...... also I know many people who were not confirmed who were married in the Church.

I know it must seem confusing.. and you know what it is.. you would think with all of the rules, regulations, Bishops, Cardinals, and the Pope the Catholic church would be able to come up with an equalized system.
This is just my experience with the Catholic Church. Due to my Dh's Military career we have been to many parishes on the West Coast, Midwest and Hawaii... and each and every Parish it was ALWAYS a DIFFERENT STORY when it came to Rules regarding, Baptism, Confirmation, and Marriage.....

 

[Crankyshank]

I'm Catholic and my husband is Baptist. We got married in a Catholic Church. He did not have to be baptized or confirmed in order for us to be married in the church. We did have to go through 6 hrs of marriage classes, though.

 

[pumba]

we were married in the catholic church.....I being the catholic and my dh the Baptist.....we had a beautiful catholic ceremony....had to do a few times with the priest so he knew where we both stood.....my hubby agreed to bring the children if any.....catholic..which we did....and he did.......I am a hit and miss catholic.....but I do enjoy it when I go......I feel okey about this.......and that I am not doomed for not attending mass each week....
marriage classes was just that......a few hours with the priest.....and we had the strict one....

 

[CamColt]

Im Catholic, but we didnt have to go through many months of counseling to get married in the church. We went to 2 meetings, I think they were maybe 2-3 hours each, on 2 consecutive Sundays. We got a certificate, a blessing from a priest, and had a pot luck dinner....just a way for the church to get more money out of us, IMO.

 

[Mercy]

Well I was born, raised and married as a Catholic as was my DH. We had received all the sacraments mentioned, but then needed to go through some kind of counseling to get married (gosh it's been so long ago!)

We left the Catholic church about 17 years ago and now attend an Assembly of God church. We don't have sacraments per se, like they do in the Catholic church. The only thing I think our Pastor requires are some counseling sessions. He also prefers to marry people who are of like faith, as the Bible warns about being unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I was not Catholic when we were married, DH was, and we were married in a Catholic ceremony.

We had to attend a few hours of counseling with the priest, and attend an Engaged Encounter weekend. Also, I was not required to promise that any children would be raised Catholic.

 

[onecoolmama]

Wow Catholic Churches really do very a great deal. WE took the Pre Cana aka Marriage Encounter weekend. But we had to take a test then meet with the preist to go through a marriage counseling session with the preist. For 6 months! But as I said before...we failed that test!LOL And they told us it wasn't pass/fail.

We had to promise to bring our kids up Catholic...which they were so far. But I think the offical stance of the Catholic Church is as long as one is fully catholic and the other is baptized Christian...they will ok the marriage with out the others getting the sacraments.

But if neither is Catholic, but you find a beautiful church that you want to get married in that happend to be Catholic...too bad.

Those of you that are in the area..I got married at The Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament. It is a beautiful church and all of my family, all of my aunts, uncles, and my grandparents were married there. A few of my cousins haven't recieved all sacraments. So I asked my mom if the knew that they don't even have the option to get married in that church. She wasn't sure. So then I thought maybe other Christian churches would let her....

 

[Otto's Doll]

DH and I are Presbyterian. We did have to take the test and discuss our compatibility, and speak to the Pastor 3 or 4 times, but that was it. In the church we belong to now you do have to meet with the Pastor ahead of time, although I don't know if you still have to take the test.

 

[joeokw]

We are both Catholic.. I was never confimed .. that was no prob. all we had to do was take a Pre-Cana session that was all day Sat. DW 's DS married a Jew in My in-law' s church.. they had a Rabbi co -officiate .. the jewsih groom even stepped on the glass at the end of the vows. and they had the hoopa, sp. ( the arch that at jewish weddings the couple stands under) on the altar. .. again no problem.. Dw's other sister married a Baptist .. no problem.. So I can say the Catholic Church is not that archaic at everone thinks. I seems Catholic bashing is alive and well.