Question about "selective mutism and social anxiety"

[tchan03]

Hi i want to ask if anyone whose kid who have similar issue and how it was overcome.

My 4.5 yrs old son was diagonised with "Selective mutism and social anxiety "after detailed behavioral assessment last month. My son basically was still not fully potty trained , and had been very quiet , at school (but he is active at home and family gatherings though)

thanks
tc

 

[Tiffylv]

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[monarchsfan16]

I'm a speech pathologist. I've worked with some kiddos with selective mutism. Because selective mutism is the most severe form of social anxiety, the best way to overcome it is with treatment. Ask your doctor, or the person who did the behavioral assessment if they know any therapists in your area that have expertise in selective mutism.

The most general gist of what we do in my district with kiddos with selective mutism is that we gradually build their confidence in speaking, by going through a continuum of things they do with their mouth. We start simple with things like making silly faces, and then move to making non-speech sounds, then progress to speech sounds, then words, and then we expand to speaking around others. This continuum came from Aimee Kotrba, who is based in Michigan. Every child is different, so every child has a different response time to treatment. We typically start by having the child work with a counselor or the school psychologist. If need be, I get added to the mix. It really depends on the child.

 

[Jiminy Libbett]

My best friend's son had Selective Mutism. One day he was talking and the next day he stopped talking to anyone he didn't live with. I watched my friend struggle to get him the help at school that he needed. He took his oral tests with just his mother and teacher in the room. His mom would get him to whisper to the teacher the answers. Her son is INCREDIBLY bright and I often wonder if the condition is associated with that. They struggled with it for years but gradually they got him to start answering the phone at home. He would answer "Hello" and then pass the phone off to his mom. Overall, he was mute to essentially every adult (not kids) for approximately 8 to 9 years and then one afternoon I made a silly comment to him as he left my house. His Mom convinced him to come back in the house and say something funny back to me. He did it and from that point on he spoke freely. Be patient and understanding. Press your son gently with encouragement and humor. Gradually, the rest of the world may get to hear his voice. P.S. - Her son would speak with my kids freely and we could hear him from the next room but when we all walked in he would stop. I always said to him, "you know I can hear your voice when your playing? I love your voice and think you should tell me how much you love mine." He would smile and in time, he felt safe enough to speak. We do not know what caused him to suddenly stop talking nor do we really know what caused him to suddenly start talking. Have faith. Your child is yours and that makes him amazing and his voice will be heard.

 

[emer95]

I had a boy in my 3rd grade class this year who was a select mute. He sees an outside therapist and made huge gains this year. I was very gentle with him, and he began whispering to me, and eventually to other kids. The kids all love him and on their own found ways to adapt when doing partner work, even when he wouldn't talk. It was something to see. He really came out of his shell and I got to see the great, funny kid that he is. I think the therapist had a lot to do with his success.

 

[barkley]

I have to ask-what are the credentials the of person(s) who made the diagnosis?

I ask this because I have a son who was misdiagnosed for years, and when he was correctly diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, it resulted in appropriate treatments that have greatly benefited him and exposed us (through group parent therapy) to multitudes of children/parents who experienced years of frustrating non progressing therapies and educational methodologies because of misdiagnosis.

 

[Pembo]

I worked with a student with severe selective mutism this year. She is 13 and never spoke a word to anyone in our school all year. Two separate times her anxiety was so high she was unable to come to school. She sees a psychiatrist and a psychologist and is on meds. For her, this is a very crippling disability coupled with a learning disability.

It is very important that as a parent, you push your child out of their comfort zone.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

Not my child, but my best friend's daughter. Fortunately, she was homeschooled so that wasn't an issue. She would only talk to her family and her close friends, and no adults outside the family (not even me, and she'd known me since she was an infant). If she was at my house and needed something (like a drink of water) she'd ask one of my kids to ask me. We never pushed her and did our best to help her feel comfortable and safe. I still remember the day when she spoke to me for the first time after probably a couple of years of not talking to me! I tried to hide my big smile so she wouldn't think I was making a big deal out of it. I think I was her first non-family adult, but from that point on she gradually became more comfortable talking to others. She eventually went to high school and university and is a successful manager today.

 

[Disneychix]

My son was never classified as "selective mutism" but he did not talk until late Kindergarten in school and even then it was only in 1 on 1 conversations. 1st grade he sarted speaking more with kids and in 2nd grade finally began raising his hand in class. He was tested many times over the years for autism spectrum, he was born at 29 weeks and has always had early intervention for speech and OT/PT. He has always passed but just has a lot of anxiety in social situations.
At home is is fine! More than fine, sometimes I want him to stop talking!
This year was extremely bad with a Math anxiety adding to his troubles but we are getting help with that. Little by little, without pushing, he comes along.
He does have an IEP for speech and one goal is to become more social and learn how to have conversations. I don't know many 8yr old boys that have appropriate conversation skills anyway!

 

[CaoilinnsMom]

For that age child, I would look into child-centered play therapy. I've read case studies with very positive results for children with selective mutism. Look into the national organization and investigate a little, they can help you find a local certified therapist.