Question ABOUT "picky eaters"

[Peter Pirate 2]

Why so many "picky eaters" comments on these threads? Aside from allergies, why do young kids and children get so much say so in what they eat?

I was a coddled eater. My mother did me a HUGE disservice by catering to my tantrums and refusal's to eat what I didn't want. Every kid will choose mac'n'cheese, chicken nuggets, hotdogs, hamburgers, etc. But should they be allowed to call all the shots???

I have two daughters and they always try everything, at our urging/insistance. Usually twice and they have become great eaters. I wish my mom had made me eat better as a child. It would have made my life easier.

Any thoughts?

 

[Pakey]

I just don't think vacation is the right venue. We are all there to have fun, not learn life lessons.

 

[buffettgirl]

yea, I was a child who was made to eat things I didn't like and I eat nothing and have a lot of food issues. Served no purpose other than to make me miserable AND still to this day I still feel guilty when I'm afraid to try something.

So why do they get a choice? Because they're people. I can't really see the purpose of forcing anyone to eat what they don't like or want. Both my children have been allowed to eat what they like and they both try things now because they know they won't be forced to eat it if they don't like it. They're great eaters.

Is there a purpose to this thread though, other than to stir up a load of crap?

 

[bumbershoot]

Your mother probably tried as much as she could. Don't discount what she probably did.

Your kids are different than you. They might allow a lot more than what you might have allowed.

I'm the oldest of 5. I was the "good eater". I once ate the potatoes from my brother's plate b/c we weren't allowed to get up from the table until HE was done, and I was tired of being there (we'd probably been there an hour or so).

My full brother, 2 half brothers, and half sister were ALL picky. I was not.

I'm the one with the food and environmental allergies. NONE of the other 4 have even a hint of those things (though my full brother doesn't much like citrus fruits so he doesn't eat them or enjoy them in his home (if you open an orange downstairs in his HUGE house, he can smell it upstairs in his closed bedroom, that's how sensitive his nose is)). No environmental allergies, no tendency towards asthma as I have, no food allergies at all.

I wish I'd been more like them! I wish I'd protected myself and had NOT eaten the things that were vile to me, instead of trying to be easygoing and nice to the family.


My mom tried really hard to get my brother to eat, tried in kind ways (my dad tried to get him and his two other sons in MEAN ways...neither worked!)...but when you come up against a stubborn mule like my brothers are/were...nothing short of knocking them out and forcing it down was going to make that food get eaten.

My mom also had the memory of being forced to eat everything on her plate as a child. Most meats made her nauseated, but she had to eat them. Most nights after finishing she left the table in a run, trying to make it to the bathroom to throw up the meat she'd eaten. So in the recesses of her mind, she knew that eating food that your body is saying NO to isn't the best idea ever.


DH and I go back and forth on the levels of coercion we do with our son, but it turns out that force doesn't work at all with him. What does work is being nice and easy, just offering, never forcing, and after many many tries he will often have something. He officially hates garlic, but eats hummus and now is in love with pesto, and he KNOWS that those things have garlic in them (I don't sneak ingredients into foods, because I respect his body too much to do that) but likes them anyway. He also says he hates ginger, but will eat foods that he knows have ginger in them (and not just powdered ginger in gingerbread, but fresh ginger that he watches me grate up and put into foods). Funny boy.



My brother used to refuse to eat anything but mac and cheese, totally plain hamburgers with only ketchup, and peanut butter and honey sandwiches (my mom got our lunches switched once, and while I ate his PB&H, he didn't even touch my PB&J)...and now he eats most everything (except for citrus). It's just not worth stressing over, IMO...

 

[grlwonder]

I'm the picky eater in my family, but when I am at Disney I try anything which confuses my family.

I'm trying to stop being a picky eater, so I eat foods I don't normally like little by little. I think that's a good way to get little kids eating more foods.

 

[coconutprincess]

yea, I was a child who was made to eat things I didn't like and I eat nothing and have a lot of food issues. Served no purpose other than to make me miserable AND still to this day I still feel guilty when I'm afraid to try something.

Is there a purpose to this thread though, other than to stir up a load of crap?

Yep! I am the same way!!!! The waiter at dinner yesterday laughed at DH and I for not eating our vegtables! (Instead we drink them, I know, not the same but its better than nothing)

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

Your mother probably tried as much as she could. Don't discount what she probably did.

Your kids are different than you. They might allow a lot more than what you might have allowed.

I'm the oldest of 5. I was the "good eater". I once ate the potatoes from my brother's plate b/c we weren't allowed to get up from the table until HE was done, and I was tired of being there (we'd probably been there an hour or so).

My full brother, 2 half brothers, and half sister were ALL picky. I was not.

I'm the one with the food and environmental allergies. NONE of the other 4 have even a hint of those things (though my full brother doesn't much like citrus fruits so he doesn't eat them or enjoy them in his home (if you open an orange downstairs in his HUGE house, he can smell it upstairs in his closed bedroom, that's how sensitive his nose is)). No environmental allergies, no tendency towards asthma as I have, no food allergies at all.

I wish I'd been more like them! I wish I'd protected myself and had NOT eaten the things that were vile to me, instead of trying to be easygoing and nice to the family.


My mom tried really hard to get my brother to eat, tried in kind ways (my dad tried to get him and his two other sons in MEAN ways...neither worked!)...but when you come up against a stubborn mule like my brothers are/were...nothing short of knocking them out and forcing it down was going to make that food get eaten.

My mom also had the memory of being forced to eat everything on her plate as a child. Most meats made her nauseated, but she had to eat them. Most nights after finishing she left the table in a run, trying to make it to the bathroom to throw up the meat she'd eaten. So in the recesses of her mind, she knew that eating food that your body is saying NO to isn't the best idea ever.


DH and I go back and forth on the levels of coercion we do with our son, but it turns out that force doesn't work at all with him. What does work is being nice and easy, just offering, never forcing, and after many many tries he will often have something. He officially hates garlic, but eats hummus and now is in love with pesto, and he KNOWS that those things have garlic in them (I don't sneak ingredients into foods, because I respect his body too much to do that) but likes them anyway. He also says he hates ginger, but will eat foods that he knows have ginger in them (and not just powdered ginger in gingerbread, but fresh ginger that he watches me grate up and put into foods). Funny boy.



My brother used to refuse to eat anything but mac and cheese, totally plain hamburgers with only ketchup, and peanut butter and honey sandwiches (my mom got our lunches switched once, and while I ate his PB&H, he didn't even touch my PB&J)...and now he eats most everything (except for citrus). It's just not worth stressing over, IMO...

Thanks for the nice response. Appreciated. We never actually "forced" anything either, I guess that's more because the kids were more open to it that I was as a child but we never allowed them to just blow things off.

buffettgirl, thanks for your condescension and total inability to understand that some people might actually like to hear what others have to say in response to an opinion they personally don't understand (it's called open mindedness). In the future you might want to not read anything I post.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

I'm the picky eater in my family, but when I am at Disney I try anything which confuses my family.

I'm trying to stop being a picky eater, so I eat foods I don't normally like little by little. I think that's a good way to get little kids eating more foods.

It was a real battle for me. I'm now pretty open minded ... Still can't get to sushi even though I know I'll like it when I can make the hurdle (both kids love it).

 

[dntd]

Kids need to have some sayin what they eat but not too much. They can have a say in food such as fruit say, an apple or a pear but when it comes to the meal they have no choice. We have a roast, that's what we have. Unless they are really under weight ( not just skinny) they can eat what normal people eat. Chicken nuggets and hotdogs are not an option!

 

[crabbygal902]

Ah...

an issue that almost every parent deals with at some point or another.

What works for us: I make a meal for the family, everyone is served a portion of each of the foods. I tell the kids that they don't have to like everything but they must try a bite of it. If they choose not to eat something, that is fine....but they don't get an extra serving of something else to replace it. For my part, I make a note of preferences *within reason* and prepare foods that the majority enjoys.

I have friends who prepare multiple meals every night for their families. That just won't work for me.

I try to make pickiness a non-issue. Is it a perfect system? Of course not, but my kids will try just about anything once and have few dislikes. Maybe I just got lucky with kids who are not picky!

Anyhow...I have a lot of fun making ADRs for Disney, knowing that my kids will likely order something other than chicken nuggets (which they hate, by the way!) or burgers.

 

[DisGirl819]

I don't make standard "kid fare" for my kids. As a result, they don't prefer mac n cheese, hot dogs etc. They will eat them, but they will eat other stuff too. On vacation I am so much more relaxed about what my kids can eat, its really not that big of a deal to me if my DD wants to subsist on mac n cheese for a week. She won't get that option at home.

 

[-Hope-]

yea, I was a child who was made to eat things I didn't like and I eat nothing and have a lot of food issues. Served no purpose other than to make me miserable AND still to this day I still feel guilty when I'm afraid to try something.

So why do they get a choice? Because they're people. I can't really see the purpose of forcing anyone to eat what they don't like or want. Both my children have been allowed to eat what they like and they both try things now because they know they won't be forced to eat it if they don't like it. They're great eaters.

Is there a purpose to this thread though, other than to stir up a load of crap?

The highlighted portion was my first thought.

Also, a recent study supported that kids eating habits are largely genetic and NOT dependent on their parents behaviors.

 

[saraheliz]

I have to say, DD3 in general, is not a picky eater. She has her normal 3 year old "I don't like this dinner" nights, but she either eats it and gets her snack (usually) or doesn't, and that's fine.

However, put her in an overwhelming environment like Disneyworld and she becomes a kid who doesn't eat. It's the same at big family parties, etc. She just gets overwhelmed and has a tough time eating- more of an anxiety thing. Not a big deal when it's one meal at a family party, but when you're at Disney for a week, well, the kid has to eat. Especially considering that she's about as tiny as they come, a week of not eating and losing a pound or two would be a HUGE deal at her size. So in that respect we did have to do some planning around what she would/could eat at different places (and we always had a PB&J packed, just in case). It's a vacation, not worth the misery of her being hungry and miserable.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

I don't make standard "kid fare" for my kids. As a result, they don't prefer mac n cheese, hot dogs etc. They will eat them, but they will eat other stuff too. On vacation I am so much more relaxed about what my kids can eat, its really not that big of a deal to me if my DD wants to subsist on mac n cheese for a week. She won't get that option at home.

This is really valid and I understand it. But due to your circumstances at home you won't have to avoid a meal at, say, 'Ohana because the kids are "picky" because with steak, shrimp, wings, pork or chicken there will certainly be acceptable items on the menu.

 

[brymolmom]

The highlighted portion was my first thought.

Also, a recent study supported that kids eating habits are largely genetic and NOT dependent on their parents behaviors.

Really? I'm amazed at this. Very often the habits of the parents are apparent when you see the kids - like if they're overweight (I'm watching Biggest Loser from last week -And these parents insist that it is in a large part their own wrong doing that has caused or at least significantly affected their child's unhealthy ways). So I'm amazed that they say it's moreso genetic.

 

[jm106]

I think you read alot about it because ppl with picky kids are looking harder to accomidate them so they post about it more. Those of us who have kids who are easier to feed can look at any reviews and dont need to get the run down on how the nuggets are before we choose. My kids wont choose mac and cheese or nuggets over real food.
We let our kids have a choice, they are ppl they choose from healthy meal #1 or healthy meal #2 not crappy/unhealthy meals. They can choose water or milk with dinner or broccoli or salad. They love to have choices they just dont know that other kids choices are nuggets or mac and cheese. They are people but they are not able to make good choices with out a parent teaching them.

DH was a picky eater, he knows it was largely what he was allowed to eat growing up (anything he didnt want, he didnt eat including veggies of any kind and donuts were breakfast.) SInce we have been together(16 yrs) he opened up to a whole world of new foods and loves it, He also doesnt want our own to suffer what he did. His sis is still super picky and eats like a 8 year old child at almost 40. DH struggles with weight, but since he moved out of MIL house yrs ago, his weight improved becuase he was away from crap. SIL still eats that way and is obese.
I think it can be very hard to expect an adult to turn a life time of eating habits around and IMO easier to set up good habits then change bad habits later. I think for many ppl I know IRL, letting kids make choices and not pressing the food issue is done because its easier to give it to them. I am sure it would be a lot easier for me to let them choose but its not better for them. This is what works for my own children. They are wonderful eaters. Some nights they turn uo their noses at something but they also know they dont get nuggets because they dont like what I made.

 

[kandb]

Maybe I read one of the responses wrong, but did someone say they don't give their child a snack if they wouldn't eat or try a food that they liked? Why punish a child for not having the same tastes or likes/dislikes as you do? I give my children what they like, I ask them to try new things and if they thats fine but if they don't thats fine also. As time goes on, they have tried more foods. I think many parents are just control freaks when it comes to their kids, IMO. Linda

 

[squirrel]

I never liked hamburger meat, even before my parents forced me to eat it one day at a restaurant. I remember telling them when the plate was put in front of me that I wasn't going to eat it.

I can't stand the smell of it. Not sure if I felt the same way when I was 5 yrs old. I will never eat hamburger meat. I didn't like the taste of it either.

I love steak, unless it's flank. I am a picky eater-I think it's because I was forced to eat things I didn't like.

It takes time for a child to try new food. It may take 5 times before they will eat it.

Some food you might be able to sneak into a dish, which may or maynot work out depending on the child.

 

[buffettgirl]

Thanks for the nice response. Appreciated. We never actually "forced" anything either, I guess that's more because the kids were more open to it that I was as a child but we never allowed them to just blow things off.

buffettgirl, thanks for your condescension and total inability to understand that some people might actually like to hear what others have to say in response to an opinion they personally don't understand (it's called open mindedness). In the future you might want to not read anything I post.

you original post was fully condescending and implied that any parent who caters to their child is doing something wrong. Questions like these, when parenting is called into question, usually stir up a heated debate.

I still chose to answer it politely. You may not want to read anything else I post either though.

 

[budafam]

I just had to post on this. My DH is 28 years old now and his mom "coddled" him and let him eat whatever he wanted since he was 3 years old. He still eats like that today. There is NO convincing him otherwise. He eats no meats, no fruits, no veggies. He literally lives on frozen cheese pizzas, mac & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, mozzarella sticks, french fries, pancakes, certain cereals, vanilla ice cream & mountain dew. I have tried begging, pleading, threatening, bribing, everything and nothing works. He claims it's the texture that he can't deal with now. He used to be able to eat hamburgers and the occasional piece of bacon but he's even phased that out since we got married. It's really a huge p.i.t.a. to deal with especially when we try to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant. He orders off of the children's menu usually My kids see his eating habits and try to follow him but I insist that they try their foods. Luckily, they are not as bad and I will not give up on them (even while we're on vacation, they will be encouraged to try different foods). I can't stress enough how important it is to try your hardest to keep your kids from being picky eaters... lol. Take it from a first hand experience through me