Question ABOUT "picky eaters"

[squirrel]

I just had to post on this. My DH is 28 years old now and his mom "coddled" him and let him eat whatever he wanted since he was 3 years old. He still eats like that today. There is NO convincing him otherwise. He eats no meats, no fruits, no veggies. He literally lives on frozen cheese pizzas, mac & cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, mozzarella sticks, french fries, pancakes, certain cereals, vanilla ice cream & mountain dew. I have tried begging, pleading, threatening, bribing, everything and nothing works. He claims it's the texture that he can't deal with now. He used to be able to eat hamburgers and the occasional piece of bacon but he's even phased that out since we got married. It's really a huge p.i.t.a. to deal with especially when we try to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant. He orders off of the children's menu usually My kids see his eating habits and try to follow him but I insist that they try their foods. Luckily, they are not as bad and I will not give up on them (even while we're on vacation, they will be encouraged to try different foods). I can't stress enough how important it is to try your hardest to keep your kids from being picky eaters... lol. Take it from a first hand experience through me

Yikes, someone pickier than me! Not sure my family will believe it. I eat veggies as long as they aren't cooked (corn and potato are the only exception), there are some veggies I don't care for. I don't like sauces (ketchup, mayo, etc.), salad dressings that are creamy or spicy. If I ever have a tomato sauce on my pasta it has to be very bland and not too much.

Have you tried sneaking some veggies into his mac and cheese? Pureed squash or carrot might work. Will he eat pasta with tomato sauce? Wonder what the doctor would say if they knew your husband ate no veggies.

 

[goingroundthebend]

well i have 4 dc .Ds1 likes plain food pizza, roasts, chips etc currys , fruit and only likes brocalli or cauliflour

.Ds2 well he will eat anything and everything a cooks delight .But he does have problems as he has crohns so can not eat Gluten,dairy and soya anymore .

Dd picky eater standard kids fare though starting to try things will eat all fruits
ds3 normal kids food but he wont and can not eat anything over chewy due to having physical problems plus fruit

All brought up same way offered same things and gues sthey just have differnt taste buds same as adults do and certainly on holiday i wont be settin g up for any fights about what they will and wont eat

 

[budafam]

I would love to take him to a doctor to find out how exactly this is going to hurt him. The thing is, he's SO skinny & nothing but muscle... I keep saying how I should go on his diet and maybe I could lose a few pounds.. lol.

I have tried subtle changes (like he will eat spaghetti but ONLY with Ragu traditional sauce so I tried the meat sauce once, no go... he saw the little, tiny, itty bitty pieces of ground up meat in it and refused to eat it)... he inspects his food before eating always. He won't eat cheese pizza if there are tomato chunks in it so that worries me a bit about Disney World... I know some of the fancier Italian restaurants will probably make it that way.

It's truly a nightmare to deal with on a daily basis.

 

[Becky2005]

This always amazes me but then again I'm a pretty picky eater myself but I think it's more a 'plain' eater than picky. I have never gotten the concept of forcing yourself to eat or drink something you don't like.

Frankly...I have never found it that big of a deal. If you are picky, you learn to deal with it politely.

On the flip side a lot of things I liked as a kid, I really don't care for anymore and they weren't kid foods. My tastes have changed.

I have seen it with my children too....the kids used to eat sausage on their pizza and my oldest switched to only eating cheese pizza now. My 2nd son used to eat sausage too and he still will occassionally but he is now prefering the cheese pizza. My older son loves pepperoni though and so does my little guy. No one else in the house likes it. This is where buffets are great for my family. The kids get to try new things, yet I know there is always something they like there too.

My oldest would NOT eat kid food when she was littlier. She did not like hot dogs or mac & cheese, etc.... Now, she still doesn't like hot dogs but she loves mac & cheese.

No matter what, not everyone is going to like the same things. I have 4 kids and they all have different tastes and even different from us. My little guy will not eat things with peanuts or peanut butter in them and he's not even allergic to them that I'm aware of but I'm certainly not going to force the issue with him. He just doesn't care for it and even ASKS me on occassion if something has peanuts/peanut butter in it.

 

[drenalin'junkie]

Same reason America leads the world in childhood obesity,behavioral disorders etc...

 

[emmabemmainc]

Same reason America leads the world in childhood obesity,behavioral disorders etc...

Yeah, because parents don't force their children to try new foods.

I guess my almost 40 year old brother had a behavioral disorder b/c he refused to eat certain foods. He wasn't overweight, so he must have had another kind of problem, right? He's pretty "normal" now though--he actually is a district manager for Outback Steakhouse. I guess he managed to overcome not eating seafood and other things he hated as a child.

Not forcing your children to eat certain/new foods has nothing to do with the children being overweight. Now, I would understand maybe the lack of physical exercise, the internet and video games being a cause of that......but not trying broccoli, shrimp or eggplant? Nah, I don't buy it.

Personally, if they're not my kids, and they're not bothering me--I don't care one bit what they eat or don't eat. I'm certainly not going to be analyzing what I see other people's children eating when I'm at WDW. If that were the case, I may as well stay home and hang out at McDonald's all day. No thanks.

This topic is so played out on this board. Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

 

[buffettgirl]

I would love to take him to a doctor to find out how exactly this is going to hurt him. The thing is, he's SO skinny & nothing but muscle... I keep saying how I should go on his diet and maybe I could lose a few pounds.. lol.

I have tried subtle changes (like he will eat spaghetti but ONLY with Ragu traditional sauce so I tried the meat sauce once, no go... he saw the little, tiny, itty bitty pieces of ground up meat in it and refused to eat it)... he inspects his food before eating always. He won't eat cheese pizza if there are tomato chunks in it so that worries me a bit about Disney World... I know some of the fancier Italian restaurants will probably make it that way.

It's truly a nightmare to deal with on a daily basis.

Pizza Planet has safe pizza for your dh.
Also, I have found that the older I get the less the textures of food bother me and the more likely I am to try something new now. So maybe there is hope for your DH. I can totally relate to the only Ragu issue (unless I make it homemade myself and i know that it's smooth.) I still really dislike chunks in my food. A sauce needs to be smooth. Anyway - I usually am pretty fine at Disney. Try not to let it bug you too much. You really can't control what another person eats - especially not a grownup. I know how frustrated you are, but believe me, it's 100x more frustrating for your DH. It's not like any of us choose to eat this way.

 

[buffettgirl]

This topic is so played out on this board. Zzzzzzzzzzz.....

Thank you!

 

[ChrisCatino]

Your mother probably tried as much as she could. Don't discount what she probably did.

Your kids are different than you. They might allow a lot more than what you might have allowed.

I'm the oldest of 5. I was the "good eater". I once ate the potatoes from my brother's plate b/c we weren't allowed to get up from the table until HE was done, and I was tired of being there (we'd probably been there an hour or so).

My full brother, 2 half brothers, and half sister were ALL picky. I was not.

I'm the one with the food and environmental allergies. NONE of the other 4 have even a hint of those things (though my full brother doesn't much like citrus fruits so he doesn't eat them or enjoy them in his home (if you open an orange downstairs in his HUGE house, he can smell it upstairs in his closed bedroom, that's how sensitive his nose is)). No environmental allergies, no tendency towards asthma as I have, no food allergies at all.

I wish I'd been more like them! I wish I'd protected myself and had NOT eaten the things that were vile to me, instead of trying to be easygoing and nice to the family.


My mom tried really hard to get my brother to eat, tried in kind ways (my dad tried to get him and his two other sons in MEAN ways...neither worked!)...but when you come up against a stubborn mule like my brothers are/were...nothing short of knocking them out and forcing it down was going to make that food get eaten.

My mom also had the memory of being forced to eat everything on her plate as a child. Most meats made her nauseated, but she had to eat them. Most nights after finishing she left the table in a run, trying to make it to the bathroom to throw up the meat she'd eaten. So in the recesses of her mind, she knew that eating food that your body is saying NO to isn't the best idea ever.


DH and I go back and forth on the levels of coercion we do with our son, but it turns out that force doesn't work at all with him. What does work is being nice and easy, just offering, never forcing, and after many many tries he will often have something. He officially hates garlic, but eats hummus and now is in love with pesto, and he KNOWS that those things have garlic in them (I don't sneak ingredients into foods, because I respect his body too much to do that) but likes them anyway. He also says he hates ginger, but will eat foods that he knows have ginger in them (and not just powdered ginger in gingerbread, but fresh ginger that he watches me grate up and put into foods). Funny boy.



My brother used to refuse to eat anything but mac and cheese, totally plain hamburgers with only ketchup, and peanut butter and honey sandwiches (my mom got our lunches switched once, and while I ate his PB&H, he didn't even touch my PB&J)...and now he eats most everything (except for citrus). It's just not worth stressing over, IMO...

My parents had told us "when you buy the food you can pick." DH and I also do not force food on our twin boys. But we also are not a restaurant. All we ask is that our kids try it once, if they hate it so be it.

 

[budafam]

I have learned to live with it. I realize that most of our dinner meals will be at Pizza Planet, Pizzafari or in room delivery of pizza... haha... it's pretty norm to me after 9 years of being around him. I'm just hoping to be able to find something different for myself here and there and get the kids to eat it too.

 

[DisGirl819]

This is really valid and I understand it. But due to your circumstances at home you won't have to avoid a meal at, say, 'Ohana because the kids are "picky" because with steak, shrimp, wings, pork or chicken there will certainly be acceptable items on the menu.

You're right. When looking at menus for our upcoming vacation, I actually looked for places that offer things like fish, grilled chicken and non-standard kid fare for DD and DS to eat while we're there. I know them and I know they'll get sick of the mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, grilled cheese, etc.

That's not to say that my DD won't request one of those things while on vacation, she does at home sometimes. Most of the time she'd rather have salmon than pb&j...she told her daycare teacher that actually, LOL. I do plan my ADRs around what she and DS will eat though because if they aren't happy at a meal, no one is happy. We don't want to deal with a screaming kid because she won't eat what the restaurant offers (not that she'd scream necessarily, but still, we actually want to enjoy our food too). I've discovered that if the kids are happy eating their food, I can enjoy my food much more as I can actually pay attention to what I'm eating instead of what they are eating.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

I haven't ever seen this discussed before. Sorry if it has, my mistake. But no one is making anyone read this.

Almost all of the comments have been tasteful, understanding, respectful and coherent. Thanks to those posters. I've looked at some things from a different perspective thanks to some posts and again, I'm some one who came from the "coddled" crowd and has had problems.

 

[buffettgirl]

no, you just like to stir up threads and hope they get heated and locked down. It's your MO. You don't want different perspectives, you want everyone to agree with your perspective.

Have a great day.

 

[jacksonsmom]

my DS (11) is very picky, always has been. He has been in therapy for food/ texture issues, and it hasn't helped.

Just some examples, he likes baked or bbq chicken, but not fried, but will eat chicken nuggets, but don't try to give him a fried chicken leg Also he will not eat chicken off the bone (makes him gag)

He will eat mac n' cheese, but not spaghetti. (the long noodles make him gag)

He will eat tomato soup, but it has to be smooth (no tomato pieces)

He will eat turkey burgers, but not turkey you get at the deli nor will he eat a regular hamburger.

Loves all cheeses, even exotic cheeses, hasn't tasted a cheese he doesn't like

He will eat yogurt, but it has to be smooth, no chunks. So usually he has dannon's vanilla or banana or raspberry.

He will not eat any fruit, all fruit makes him gag, even applesauce. Even a smoothie makes him gag because there is usually tiny ice pieces in there.

Pizza has to be just cheese, sometimes he will eat chicken on his pizza, but rarely.

Things like egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad make him gag, but he loves eggs/omelets. Omelets are cheese only, nothing else in them

Loves cheesecake as long as there isn't any fruit on top

Veggies.....Nope, closest he will eat is baked beans, but that is very rarely and not a lot.

He also has a lot of trouble swallowing pills, even at his age. He definitely has texture issues, even he gets frustrated sometimes. One time he wanted so bad to have a smoothie. He helped me make one went to try it and gagged because of the tiny ice pieces. He was so disappointed because he wanted to like it.

Won't eat nuts, jell-o, or raisins either, which I know a lot of kids do like.

So sometimes its not just because they are "picky" but truly have some issues to work through.
Will he ever enjoy fruits/veggies and chicken off the bone? Who knows?

But like his doctor has told me, he is growing at a good rate, he is a good weight and all blood work is good (yes, we check just to make sure) so he is getting what he needs (he does take vitamins)

I don't mind making baked chicken, turkey burgers or using ground turkey or soy for tacos and sloppy joes.

He sees DH and I eat veggies, fruit, etc.....I do hope one day will he get through his texture issues, but I will never force him to eat something knowing he has issues.
We HAVE went through that before and all he did was resulted in tears. I won't go through that again.

While we are at Disney he finds plenty to eat. Most places can make plain baked chicken or (gasp) a plate of mac n' cheese

 

[khgreen]

First of all this is vacation. Why do the adults get to obsess over each restaurant and exactly what they will eat but if kids have a preference they are picky. Why aren't kids allowed to enjoy their meals on vacation?

My son is very picky and it used to worry me. Then one day mom told me I was a terribly picky child. I had no idea. Because now I eat pretty much anything. There is nothing I won't try now. I tend to stick to veggies and whole grains and pastured meats for the sake of my health, but I'll try and enjoy most any food (maybe not the bizarre foods featured on the travel channel....but any food found at any US grocery store/restaurant).

Then one day my dad (if he were alive he would be 77) told me he was a picky eater???? But how? I mean he grew up so poor that they rarely even had enough food for the family. But according to him grandma was always giving him "elixers" to try to get him to eat.

So yes my kids are picky. They won't eat pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, nuggets etc. They are self proclaimed vegetarians (my dh and are not).

I do encourage them to try new foods but I don't push it. I do only serve whole grain breads and cereals, and many organic fruits and veggies. I also let them have some treats. But I get as much healthy stuff in them as I can, but I don't force the issue.

My DH on the other hand was forced to eat foods he didn't like. He is very picky to this day. To me there is a big difference in not forcing particular foods on a picky eater and letting them just eat junk food their whole life because they are picky.

I guess it just bugs me when people attribute picky eating to poor parenting skills. I might do a lot of things wrong (in my parenting) but I think I do a reasonable job ensuring proper nutrition for my children while letting them be themselves (picky).

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

Maybe I read one of the responses wrong, but did someone say they don't give their child a snack if they wouldn't eat or try a food that they liked? Why punish a child for not having the same tastes or likes/dislikes as you do? I give my children what they like, I ask them to try new things and if they thats fine but if they don't thats fine also. As time goes on, they have tried more foods. I think many parents are just control freaks when it comes to their kids, IMO. Linda

I think the post you are referring to isn't about a picky eater, but a 3 year old deciding on any particular day that whatever is fixed for dinner isn't liked (even if it was their favorite the day before). That's just the temperament of a 3 year old. In this case, if they decide not to eat what I fix for dinner then NO they can't have a snack or dessert later. I'm not a short order cook, I'm not cooking anything out of the ordinary, so because the 3 year old decides that they want ice cream for dinner they will not be coddled to. It's not punishment, its parenting.

First of all this is vacation. Why do the adults get to obsess over each restaurant and exactly what they will eat but if kids have a preference they are picky. Why aren't kids allowed to enjoy their meals on vacation?
<snip to>
I guess it just bugs me when people attribute picky eating to poor parenting skills. I might do a lot of things wrong (in my parenting) but I think I do a reasonable job ensuring proper nutrition for my children while letting them be themselves (picky).

I agree, this fight is not one you want to have while on vacation. But I also think parents that won't eat at a restaurant they want to try because their 5 year old will only eat PB&J is doing a disservice to both them and their kids.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

This topic has been bought up before I feel. Honestly aside from allergies or some type of food texture issues that stem from a disability; picky eaters exist because some parents are either to lazy to push the issue or financially unable to give their child good food.

Many people grew up with parents that didn't allow them to leave the table unless they ate the entire plate. I'm so sick of people saying ohh well my kid would never eat or they would hold out. Are these people really saying that you're letting your child win on what food YOU buy and serve.

 

[buffettgirl]

This topic has been bought up before I feel. Honestly aside from allergies or some type of food texture issues that stem from a disability; picky eaters exist because some parents are either to lazy to push the issue or financially unable to give their child good food.

Many people grew up with parents that didn't allow them to leave the table unless they ate the entire plate. I'm so sick of people saying ohh well my kid would never eat or they would hold out. Are these people really saying that you're letting your child win on what food YOU buy and serve.

hahah.. I bow to your parenting. Have you written a book on the topic yet?

 

[TDC Nala]

This thread's closed as it's pretty much off-topic here - this isn't a forum about parenting.