Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[PollyannaMom]

No need to apologize for talking to us, @Snowysmom! Missing someone can come from little reminders for anyone. Have you ever seen this theory? ~

 

[PollyannaMom]

Yesterday was crafting day at my house. My cousin's family was over because we were supposed to go apple-picking, but got rained out.

Her girls (1st & 3rd grade) love crafts, so we made paper pumpkins to send to my Dad, attempted to photocopy... marbles , and cut up lots of confetti.

They did my nails in 10 different sparkly colors, and we played about 10 minutes of Christmas Monopoly.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Dear SnowysmomAs our Dear PollyannaMom said, please never apologize for how you feel. Thank you always for trusting in us to care, pray for, and love you. Sending extra sunshine outside and in your way.

Dear PollyannaMomI would have loved helping with yesterday's craft project--how fun and special time for all of you

It's pouringhere at the moment. Dad, I pray, is going to stay home and rest. I'm going to try and get a little more sleep right now. I will check in later. Happy Tuesday to all.

 

[lynxstch]

Good morning. Cloudy now, but sun by afternoon. Temp will be 72, I can live with that.

I don't like how early it starts getting dark, last night it was just a little after 6:30. A couple more weeks and we'll change the clocks and it will be dark out even earlier. It makes the days seem so much longer when I'm all alone here.

Summer texted me last night, a picture of a car she wants, and a text that read "I wish someone would give us a chance at a loan."
If it was directed at me, I'm not doing it. First of all, it's a 16 year old car with 160,000 miles on it. Second, I've gone down the loan road with her before, and I'm the one who loses at the end. I didn't reply to the text, made no comment at all, hoping she'll get the hint that it won't be me.

As bad as I feel for her, this has been going on for their 20 something years of being married. They either need to find a way to save money for a car, or he needs to get a job much closer to home. She can't be driving that distance every 2 or 3 weeks, that's insane.

Off to do morning chores. Have a good day everyone

 

[Snowysmom]

PollyannaMom Thank you. The box theory is a good explanation of grief. I can go for a while OK and then something can blindside me or just a time of year can bring it on.

Thank you everyone for understanding.

 

[lynxstch]

I need to vent- thanks to anyone who reads this

Here we go again. I was on the phone with the bank an hour or so ago, when Summer called. I couldn't answer because the guy was helping me open an account and we were right in the middle of it. She sends me a text asking if she can borrow my car for the trip to take him to work. Her truck is shot, it's on the side of the road not too far from her house with transmission fluid pouring out.

I felt bad, but I had to say no. She's used to driving a big truck with 8 cylinders, not my little 4 cylinder car. And she speeds and talks on her phone while driving. If something happened to my car while she had it, I'd be the one on the losing end having to pay for it. I just can't do it. She's probably not going to talk to me again, but it is what it is.

She said she can't rent a car because she doesn't have the money. I told her to ask her mother.

It's gotten so that she only texts or calls when she wants something, and I am up to my limit with it.
_________________________________________________________________________________________


Update, she just texted and said it's fixed. That someone stopped to help and it was a hose that came loose. The guy took her husband to buy a lot of transmission fluid. I hope that's the only problem she has on this long trip!

 

[easyas123]

I need to vent- thanks to anyone who reads this

Of course! Vent away, it does the mind good to release some of this 'stuff' we deal with.
For what it's worth I think your Tough Love stance w/ Summer is the correct one, especially if you feel the relationship
has become one-sided. Your fortitude is a good example for us all.

Hello all - hope you are well.
@Pea - I hope your treatment sessions are not to difficult on you this week and you find some comfort in those things that you hold close.
@FlyingDumbo - I may have missed it, have you worked out your situation at the facility you are in and gotten a plan in place for your move home/new flooring installed?
@Snowysmom - I can't wait to hear about your next trip!
@Bobbie-will you guys be hosting CG kids this Thanksgiving?
@tazdev3225 - I hope your folks wedding celebration went well!
@Judique -enjoy your WDW planning. We are headed down in early Feb.

Down at the NC office at the moment, thinking I will head back up tomorrow. I've got some paperwork waiting for my signature up at the main office I have to get taken care of. Down here meeting with and onboarding a new employee, who happens to be a lawyer. Or she will be once she takes the bar in Feb. She & her husband just moved from CA to NC. Dang if she's not smart as a whip and really seems up for the position/office I hired her for (Compliance Coordinator) which is great as it is a new position within our Company and one she's going to be shaping. Having a lawyer on staff is going to be a game changer to say the least

Got the somewhat sobering news that a elderly family member who had been showing signs of questionable decisions is actually suffering from brain tumors, which are mets from somewhere else in her body. Turns out its in her spine, lung and liver too. So that is a smack in the face. Still meeting with all the Dr.'s and whatnot before she decides on a treatment course, if there is any course to be taken at this point. Ad difficult as it may be, I think several of us are of one opinion in terms of treatment and she is of the other mind. Of course it's up to her and she'll be supported no matter what. I think it's going to be a rough 6-12 months for her.

Get to see the grandbaby this weekend, between vacation & being sick its been 4 or 5 weeks. Been trying to think of Christmas gifts but what, really does a 6 month old need? Now next year - watch out! Of course we will get her something fun and probably wholly inappropriate for a kid that age Grandparent prerogative, right!?!?!

Lets see...trying to think if anything else is going on w/ us. I think just the usual...Oh! I have decided to sift thru and get rid of some older and less used holiday decor and treat myself to a few new pieces. Which means I gotta drag all my stuff out I guess because I've given myself the strict rule that nothing new comes in unless something old went out beforehand!

Back to work, have a good afternoon everyone!

 

[Snowysmom]

Lynn Vent away. This is a good place to vent.

EasyAs So sorry about your family member. That is tough for everyone. I hope you get to see your grandbaby this weekend.

I have been on a cleaning mission today. I even took some time from work to go through a few small storage boxes I had from my move from my house. It is hard because the memories just come rushing back. But, it needs to be done. I found a picture of Chris and I at Disney in 2016 when Jeff, Aimee, and 11 month old Ellie were with us. There is a picture of them too. Such a great trip. Chris would do the Donald Duck quack to Ellie and Ellie would laugh hysterically. She danced her way through Small World while sitting on Mommy's lap. She had her first Mickey bar sitting on the grass on front of the castle. What a cute mess she was afterwards. I have also bookcases set up better with CDs on the small one and some books on the bigger one. Time to rest now.

Have a good evening.

 

[PollyannaMom]

She had her first Mickey bar sitting on the grass on front of the castle.

I can just picture her covered in ice cream. What great memories!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Had my first radiation today. Went ok, a little out of practice. Very different from when I had it 22 yrs ago.

 

[Judique]

@Snowysmom enjoy the memories! I'd be much more worried about you if you never gave a thought to what shapes who you are.

@Pea-n-Me I have no idea what radiation entails. Glad you got through it okay. I know it's not easy either way.

@easyas123 My grandson will be 9 months on Oct 19. Trying to remember what he responded to at 6 months, and it seems to be musical things. As he got older he had various pads on the floor with attachments that he either reached up for while lying on his back or when he could hold his head up there was/is one that he sort of pounded on that makes music or sounds. DiL is a 1st grade teacher so she bought/collected everything under the sun. She's also pretty good at recycling the toys and learning aids and clothing, taking it to some sort of baby sale they have at least yearly over in Virginia. I mainly give her visa gift cards to get what she wants or I check her Amazon list if it's more appropriate to bring a gift.

@lynxstch You've been good to your stepdaughter and probably will be in the future as well. You can't say yes to everything. I can see it is disturbing to be put in that position so often. Maintaining a relationship while keeping boundaries is a fine line.

@PollyannaMom - somewhere in my psyche I've always wanted to be 'crafty' but it's hit or miss with me. Maybe it's in the future. Your day sounds like fun!

My DD left a car here last spring sometime. It's got a mechanical problem. I was talking to the shop on the corner and asking if they would look at it if she wanted. They are doing minor work for me. I have some clearcoat that is peeling on my door handles and mirrors. Called her and found out the car has a 'major' issue and she's hoping to pay for it soon. It's fine where it is, in my driveway, just wanted to help her out. But this one is possibly thousands and she does have another vehicle to drive. So I'll stay neutral for a bit. Sometimes you gotta let people play out with their own decisions, even when you love them.

 

[Snowysmom]

Pea Thinking of you. I hope the radiation continues to be OK for you.

Good morning. It is 50 here now with temps heading to 60. It should be sunny today. I have started taking a look at mother of the groom dresses. Early yes, but I having lost alot of weight I have trouble figuring out what looks good on me. I asked Aimee to help me out when the time comes to actually get a dress. I do know I want a tea length dress that covers my legs. She will be honest with me. Today is a trip to Market Basket which I do because I have to. It is a crazy place. I get through as quickly as I can. I miss Hannafords that closed.

Have a good day.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Today is a trip to Market Basket which I do because I have to. It is a crazy place.

Totally agree! - There are a couple of things I can only get there, so I do go once in a while. But I was saying to someone just last week that it is the most overstimulating shopping trip! I mostly go to Trucci's (which I like the best) and Roche Brothers (which is closest).

 

[PollyannaMom]

Group hug on the new treatments, Pea

We're all pulling for you!

 

[lynxstch]

Sometimes you gotta let people play out with their own decisions, even when you love them.

@Judique, that is perfectly said

Good morning, 51 now going to 69 and sunny.

Never heard from Summer if they made it there safely, I hope so.

Heading out to do errands and restock the fridge. They came and took my riding mower Monday. I went to start it and got nothing. The guy came and first thing he checked was the battery with my power bank. He said the battery was fine. So they get it to the shop, and I get a call saying it's the battery?

They called yesterday and said it was ready. I drove over there because I wanted to start it myself to make sure it was okay before they put it on a truck and brought it back. I started it and shut it off 3x and it seems fine. They said they'd had a lot of issues with the batteries that Cub Cadet put in the models 3 summers ago. They took out the tray and put in a little bit bigger battery, apparently the other one no longer had enough voltage to start the engine, even though the power bank showed the right voltage. $200 later, it's got a new battery and they went over the whole electrical system and checked all the shut offs. Hopefully this one will last more than 3 years. I even take it out in the winter and put it in the cellar, and put the trickle charger on it now and then to keep it fully charged.
They're bringing it back around 1.

Then I'll call Dave after I mow one more time, and he'll take the deck off and clean it and lubricate the blades and put it back on. The guy at the outdoor place laughed because had mine outside, next to a bunch of brand new ones, and mine still looks brand new. He said I obviously take care of it.

Have a good day everyone.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

@Pea-n-Me I have no idea what radiation entails. Glad you got through it okay. I know it's not easy either way

I think the biggest challenges are getting there (traffic) and ready (changed into gown) on time as they have to stay on schedule. The (I guess you can say extra) fatigue from it hasn’t hit me yet, but I’m still fatigued from chemo and surgery already. There are lots of other side effects both likely and possible. Hoping they’re minimal, but last time I had third degree burns, so I worry. I tend to have weird things happen. Sleeping has been tough.

And then holding your breath while the beams are delivered, which lifts your heart out of the way so as not to damage it. You have to be able to hold for about 20 seconds and it has to be a chest-raise, not a belly-raise! With chin up. I had to practice at home and had some anxiety about whether I could do it consistently, but I have been. I pray and use visualization to help me get through it. I never had to breath hold last time but it was on the other side, which isn’t affected by the beams as much as on the current side.

And I realized that getting used to a whole new team of people, once again, can be stressful, too. First I had my chemo team. My oncologist I’ve had for years but everyone else was new to me, including the office and infusion teams. Then I had my surgery teams - two surgeons, their nurses, and a physical therapist who specializes in lymphatics, which will be ongoing for years. And now the radiation team. As I mentioned, this is the second radiation team I met as I had to get a second opinion and went with the second team. So it’s just a lot. It feels like a ride you’re ready to get off!

Today I have my session and then I have to go into Boston for PT. Will hit heavy traffic coming home. Tomorrow I have to have an MRI after my session, which I kind of dread. I’ll be glad when these next two days are over. October my calendar is very full with appointments, but knowing I have to get ready and go somewhere every day no matter how I feel just makes it a little more stressful. The puppies and I like our quiet mornings, lol.

Here’s some brief info about radiation if anyone is interested. The second link has a video. The third is sort of a funny take on it by a writer who went through it.

https://www.komen.org/breast-cancer/treatment/type/radiation-therapy/what-to-expect/

https://www.komen.org/breast-cancer-101/en/kbc_pageLauncher.htm?initialTopic=kbc_13_01

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/he...MIztu9wIWmkAMVFElHAR0TLA1EEAAYAyAAEgKHevD_BwE

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday.

PS Yesterday I went to Savers just to look around and veg a little. It relaxes me. It was so rainy and dreary out. I remembered I’d gotten a 40% off coupon for kids clothes so I texted DS’s gf to ask if she liked Savers clothes, and if so, would she be ok with me picking up some things for the kids, and she said she did, and would be. So I spent almost two hours going through the clothes in their sizes, and got them each some really nice shirts, pants and a winter coat! It was so much fun, and brought back a lot of memories of how I used to love doing the same when my own kids were little. It made me happy. And it feels like maybe I’m helping out a little. She said they go through clothes pretty quickly between wear and growth, so I’m glad it’s something I can enjoy doing now and then.

 

[Snowysmom]

Pea Reading those articles is eye opening. I had no idea it was so involved. Prayers for you to get through each day and have kind caring techs to be there for you. I hope once you get through this month it gets better and less appts for awhile.