Quarantine and chill and kindness chatty clubhouse: Jump in and join the conversation! All is welcome!

[Pea-n-Me]

The friend who recommended I try writing just sent me this, so I thought I'd share.

I love this, Lynn! Thanks for posting.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Good afternoon from still cold and LA,

Dad's morning dentist appointment went very well, we are so thankful to God extra indeed for that and of course simply grateful to Him for all. He also went to Staples and Pavilions. We're waiting on packages through the mail and Amazon. Lol, I am ready for a return of Summer!

I’m so sorry about your , Judique The Lenovo that dad returned to best Buy was 14." Other than the smaller than he preferred screen, it worked very well. His new Asus is 15.5" you are able to find a new computer that will work well for you!

Big , dear Frog. I am so glad to hear your dad is able to accompany you to meet with your attorney. So many prayers continuing for you, my friend. Please, as Snowysmom kindly reminded you, take care of yourself!

Extra and prayers of peace to you as well Snowysom! One step at a time. You ARE moving forward! I am also so sorry about Kenny. He absolutely sounds like a loving dad who just wants the best for his kids. I can understand his wanting to keep them all in the same home.

Carol, I sure hope you get more rest tonight, my friend! Enjoy a quieter day at home today (I sure hope you are)
Pea, enjoy a day off with your son! As always thank you for all the love and kind care you give to humans and alike!

Lynn, please take care of YOU! Prayers for both you and Don always, too.

Dear Dazed, thank you for checking in and allowing us, I sure pray, to also support you. Kris would and from Heaven does, want you to be happy and at peace! Do something small for YOU. Watch a fun movie or read a light book, something seemingly insignificant that just might bring you some immediate cheer.

Always love and appreciation to each of you! Have a brighter rest of the day. I will come back later.

 

[Snowysmom]

@Pea-n-Me I completely agree with what you say. I have had signs from Chris and I always ask for his help and guidance with what I am doing in life. He is happy where he is and will be there when my time comes. I just really miss him here, in this world. Just one example of a synchronicity. Kenny and I were looking at picture of the White Mts in his room. It was a picture he took during one of his climbs. I asked him if it was Mt. Washington as I thought I saw the weather station antennae. He said he thought it was the Franconia Notch ridges. He looked and confirmed it was Mt. Washington. His phone dinged. He looked down and there was a picture of Chris and I at the top of Mt. Washington with our arms around each other, taken in 2008 when we all were on vacation. I don't even remember that picture or have seen it since 2008. Kenny didn't know where it came from either. Chris also likes to use songs to get my attention. People may think I am crazy but I believe if you are open to signs you will see them.

@dazedx3 Like Pea said, your DH is safe, warm, pain free, and loves you so much. I understand how you feel guilty about things getting better. No need to. I feel the same way but I try to understand that grieving Chris will always be a part of me but it will hopefully soften over time. His love for me and my love for him will never fade. Your Kris only wants the best for you. The loneliness is a very difficult part of it. That part I have not been good at dealing with yet. I am hoping that moving to a neighborhood type of condo community and a place that speaks to my heart will help. We are always here to listen. And I can tell you this quacker community is the best at listening and is very compassionate and caring.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Good afternoon.

I have been under the weather today. No fever but headache, upset stomach, and I didn't get out of bed until 3:30. Had some Gatorade for my first intake of the day.

@Judique , too bad about your computer.

@lynxstch , I really like what you posted about internet friends. I started on the Riddle thread her many years ago anf made some real friends there. We call each other imaginary friends.

@dazedx3 , no apologies necessary Glad we could be here for you.

@Pea-n-Me , I opened your link and will read when my brain is less foggy. I think you had many goods thoughts and are a good writer.

Maybe I'll start taking ornaments off the tree.

 

[bobbiwoz]

@Pea-n-Me , what you wrote is so beautiful, caring and loving. I had many of the feelings you described when my DMom died. She was ready, and now at peace.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

a ton! Thank you all forveer for your kind, faithful, and loving support to me and everyone else in our Quacker family! How blessed we are God connected us to begin with and has kept us together as a Quacker family in His Name.

 

[lynxstch]

@dazedx3 You don't need to apologize to us. That's what this thread is for. To grieve, to rejoice, to complain, and everything in between. Sending you love and prayers, always

 

[Judique]

Hello friends,

Day by Day, minute by minute… Grief is painful, real, and gut wrenching. It permeates every minute of your day. There is a palatable sadness in every moment, every feeling, every interaction, every thought. I am so lonely, even when I am with loved ones. I’ve spent so long caring for him that I don’t know what to do with my time. I worry whether he is ok, cold, pain free, tired, hungry, lonely or scared.

I know things will get better but feel like am betraying him if they do. I know this is all part of the grieving process, but that doesn’t make it better. It is so hard to come to terms with how final this is, it still feels like he will be back with us. It is hard to know how to grieve with my children, they are doing their own grieving. I am used to helping them through hard situations and now I don’t feel like I have the strength to guide them.

Sorry to unload here

Don't be sorry. It helps us be more aware of what you are going through. It certainly isn't a walk in the park. It will take time but you already know that. Prayers and hugs for you and your family.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Amen, Lynn to Dazed and all!

I think I do like the green border and as is. What do all of you think? White might be simpler but sort of gets lost. I did ask about moving Happy Birthday closer to the toast image but am realizing now that might lose it too. Anyway, I am just waiting to hear back from Tracie, the kind rep to be sure it would come before dad's birthday.

We did get our mail and also my Christian Book package. Just waiting now for Amazon. Have a good rest of the day, friends.

 

[tazdev3225]

Good evening all.

Hugs and prayers for those that need them.

I have been in a bit of a foul mood the last couple of days. The whole thing with my grandkids makes me want to just scream, so of course I have been at my husband over the dumbest things. Today it was for taking out the trash to early to the curb. To be fair I have complained about this in the past because the city gives rather hefty fines for it and I am not in the mood to pay a ticket because he can't understand that the trash cannot go to the curb until 5 PM.

I was really angry at my priest/pastor/minister whatever you want to call him. We have had our issues in the past so this is nothing new. Crystal is really taking the thing with her great grandmother hard so she was talking about it at church during the coffee hour with some people. He heard part of the conversation and told her that SHE needs to call and apologize for whatever upset the grandmother. I did not hold back. Ther is no way she will apologize to someone who ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She did nothing wrong. I don't know if it's a cultural difference because he is from Uganda or what. It's just really hard to see my granddaughter hurting, and my daughter so upset.

I think my bigger issue is that my husband is supposed to be having cataract surgery. It did need to be postponed because of switching insurance. He needs to see the heart doctor before he can have the surgery and we didn't get the new medical ID cards in time. I have been delaying getting him an appointment. I am really having a hard time with him needing this surgery. When they went over all the things that can go wrong I panicked. My husband has enough issues and I know his vision is horrible. The left eye lost most of its vision when he had the strokes as they were both centered on the optic nerve. He also has retinopathy so that doesn't help. The cataracts just added a new wrinkle. I have visions of him not being able to get the implant to fit so he walks around with holes in his eyes where his lens used to be. I am afraid what little vision he has will be gone permanently. Part of me is afraid that he may think he will be able to drive again. I really don't know how to resolve these feelings and then I worry more damage will be done to his eyes while I try and come to terms with my fears.

My son and one daughter keep telling me that I didn't have the strokes and I am not the one with the vision issues so I need to get over it. What they don't understand is that I may not physically have experienced them but I live with it every day.

Oh well, sorry to be such a downer. I just haven't had a great couple of days. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a better day for us all. Maybe if the sun came out and stayed out for a day or two it would help. The gloomy days around here the last few days have definitely not helped my moods.

Hope you all have a nice evening.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Has your husband had cataract surgery before, taz, or is this his first one?

 

[Judique]

Computer - DD turned of touchscreen. The crack is top to bottom but very fine and thin, so mostly unnoticeable when reading and typing. This laptop is much easier to type on since it is what my fingers are used to. It's not page turning by itself since she turned off TS, thank goodness!

Meanwhile I have time to search and wait for something I like to come on the market. I would buy this one again if I could find it.

 

[Judique]

I've had cataract surgery on both eyes. Also had to see the heart guy. Have never had a stroke that I know off. I was very afraid at first about having the surgery but my doctor and his father, both specialists, got me through it successfully. The son was my actual doctor but after he left the area, his Dad took over. He's wonderful and I see him once a year.

Hopefully all will go well and his sight will improve. They did one eye one month and the next eye a month later. The aftercare requires drops several times a day and I really appreciated help with this. I was still working then and one of my assistants saw me struggling and helped me from then on. At home DD put the drops in for me. The result was 20/20 vision.

Oh, and now I drive without glasses. That's a miracle in itself. I do need readers over the counter for small print and computer work.

 

[bobbiwoz]

Amen, Lynn to Dazed and all!

I think I do like the green border and as is. What do all of you think? White might be simpler but sort of gets lost. I did ask about moving Happy Birthday closer to the toast image but am realizing now that might lose it too. Anyway, I am just waiting to hear back from Tracie, the kind rep to be sure it would come before dad's birthday.

We did get our mail and also my Christian Book package. Just waiting now for Amazon. Have a good rest of the day, friends.

Plate 2 appeals to me more. The first has images that seem too large to me.

 

[bobbiwoz]

@tazdev3225 hugs.

 

[easyas123]

I know things will get better but feel like am betraying him if they do.

I can't begin to understand your pain, so I wouldn't presume to tell you how to feel or think...but something came to mind when I was reading your post. Is it possible to put yourself in his place should your positions be reversed. If he was left to mourn you would you take comfort knowing he was having the occasional good moment, good day, a smile now and then between the tears? If so, knowing he'd want the same for you - would that make it any easier?

I hope this hasn’t crossed any lines or anything, I’m just sharing what’s in my head in the hopes that it can help you find some comfort.

I enjoyed reading what you posted, I'm not sure how I feel about the topic, to be clear I'm not offended by the concept - but I do like reading different prospective and approaches to situations, so thanks for posting about your experiences.

Dad's morning dentist appointment went very well,

Good to hear!

I have been under the weather today. No fever but headache, upset stomach, and I didn't get out of bed until 3:30. Had some Gatorade for my first intake of the day.

Oh no, did you finally catch what the rest of the family was sharing around? Hope you are feeling much better really soon!

I just haven't had a great couple of days.

I'm sorry to read this, I hope the rest of this week is a more calmer yet productive time for you, and that your husband is able to jive his health insurance docs & dr. appts. up sooner rather than later.

Well, I was due to be out of town on Wednesday & Thursday for a work related court case, but as of this AM the case has been settled and so I don't have to deal with that BS. I wasn't stressed or fussed over it, it was just going to be a time drain and a LOT of sitting around and waiting for 2 days. So my week has opened up somewhat, and I'm hoping to get some stuff done in the office.

Dinner this evening was some pre-cooked items I had in the freezer and a salad. I think tomorrow may be fish.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Taz. Dad had cataract surgery in both eyes after wearing contacts for most of his life. He now has wonderful vision and doesn't need glasses. His surgeries weren't much fun for him but they are years over with now. No one has a right, especially a minister and extra during a time of worship, (that to me, makes it worse), to put down anyone let alone a child! Is he a new minister or has he been there for a while? It has seemed like from other shares you might want to look into other church options anyway. Prayer, my friend and extra love.

Judique, I liked your post because I'm glad the computer does work and it allows you shopping time. I, of course, am sorry the accident happened to begin with.

Thanks, Bobbiwoz, ITA about the green being way too big. I just edited my post to show the plate as I am seeing it on the site's preview of the product right now. Do you and anyone else who wants to share like the white border better than the green border? And "pkate 2" is still the better size choice, right? I am going back to preferring the white border because it's simpler. Green and green was too much (as all of you know, I prefer simpler) I just liked the idea of it. I will ask Tracie whether the image can be made more to this smaller size and also whether "Happy Birthday" can be moved to be placed between the blue and red balloons rather than having lettering on top of them, especially the "R." More to come plate-wise tomorrow.

Thank you, Easyas. Dad is relieved indeed and really does like his new dentist as well. He will see his periodontist (he sees him once a year generally) in 4 months and then 4 months later see his regular dentist.

Good night prayers to all. Sweet, cozy dreams!

 

[Kirby]

@Kirby I hope that whatever your daughter finds out is news that will bring the kids, your daughter, and you some peace. I'm curious, how does it work when the attorneys agree out of court? Did your daughter and the kids father agree to let the attorneys come to some sort of an agreement, with out your daughter or former son-in-laws input? Sorry if that is a silly question, I'm am really curious. I would love to just let me attorney and his work it out and us to stay out of it for the most part, but I'm not really sure that is how it works or even could. Maybe it depends on the state.

In this case, last Friday, DD's attorney had made a motion to compel because he was trying to do a discovery on DD's ex and the ex was not producing the documentation/financial records required by the discovery. We are assuming that the ex's attorney finally got it through his thick head that going to court would not be a good thing and that he needed to get his act together. So ex's attorney probably talked to DD's attorney saying that ex was going to play nice and then told the judge the same thing. Ex will have a deadline to produce the documentation. The judge has to sign off on the agreement made and then DD will get a copy of it. DD's attorney did not need her input on this particular situation.

Now once the discovery has been made and all questions answered his finances, etc. then they will go to court over the allegations ex and wife made 18 months ago. They will also address his not returning the kids after Christmas and other things that he has done over the last 18 months. From what we understand, there will more than likely be a mediation somewhere in there before the court date. DD will be lucky if this all gets done by mid summer.

Your attorney should never agree to something without talking to you first about it.

@dazedx3,

You too @taxdev3225,

It's been quiet around the house for the last couple of days. The kids have played a lot outside. DH is on his way home from picking DS up from the doctor's office where he went to have a blood transfusion. He has a sinus infection that his body is incapable of fighting off because he has next to no immune system. He's miserable at the moment.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

and extra, Kirby

 

[Snowysmom]

@tazdev3225 So sorry for what you are going through. It is hard on caregivers of loved ones. I hope he can get the surgery soon. You do live it every day and you are caring, loving wife wanting the best for your DH. The pastor was wrong in what he told your DGD. He is not living it so he does not have a say unless your DGD asks him to help.

@flyingdumbo127 Glad your Dad's appts went well. I hope he likes his new laptop.

Good morning. Cold again this morning. I have a therapist appt this afternoon. I am dropping off some things at Kenny's house to declutter here a bit. I have been getting anxious about getting everything done for the pictures and open house. But, I have decided that what gets done gets done and what doesn't, doesn't. Period.

Have a good day.