Puzzled!!!

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Do you live in a bubble?? THis happens all the time because some parents don't think!! Children are left alone with uncles, step children that they just meet cuz mom's latest fling shacks up with her after only a month. Maybe that is the world today, but it is not my world!!
 
Originally posted by southernclass
Children are left alone with uncles, step children that they just meet cuz mom's latest fling shacks up with her after only a month.

Aren't you and your fiance also "shacked up"? :confused:
 
Originally posted by Bob Slydell
Ok, I'll step away from the thread now, then -- because you've apparently pretty much lost it at this point. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

What a shame
 
Maybe you shouldn't be asking here for advice. It seems like several folks said what they thought as far as your question. Your behavior is again becoming erratic, even though you have seemed much more able to keep it together as of late. Hope you have talked to your doc about mixing those meds.
 

You know...I just went back and read the posts I missed while posting (boy -they're really flying!). There was an original question asked, and that's really all we should be concerned with, right? I am not sure any of us can comment on a situation we know so little about...we were supposed to comment on our opinion about the drinking adults at a child's party. Southern Class just seems to be trying to look out for a child who needs some looking out for...calling CPS may be harsh here, but I don't recall her stating that she was GOING TO - I took it as just a thought. I personally think of lots of things that I don't really go through with - don't we all?

Good Luck, Southern Class!
 
Originally posted by Bojangles
Aren't you and your fiance also "shacked up"? :confused:

Yes my dear, and we have known each other since we were 12.

We do not smoke, drink, or have sex while the child is there either.

Unlike you I will not sit here and pretend that us living together is ok because I know it is not. I want to be with him but I will not pretend that it is the right thing to do, at the time it is the right thing for us and BTW we have only been living together for about a month and we are getting married in a few.
 
/
Not to jump into a debate here, but I've been in your situation. It really stinks but I think your going to bite off more than you anticipate if you call child services.

I was there -- 19 years ago when I met my DH. He had just gotten divorced and was paying $600/month in child support -- 19 years ago that was ALOT of money to pay. When we got married, his ex had a big problem with it and caused our lives to be a living nightmare. His ex put us through the ringer with courts and lawyers and accusations which were not true. In the end, what did it do?? Turn a loving father/daughter relationship into one which was never repaired. It's been years since my DH has seen his daughter. In the end, his ex got what she wanted, but it wasn't until many heart breaks were felt by all of us. We can only hope that someday my step-daughter will choose to come back into our lives. We are still waiting with open arms.

The things you have said here, while may not be the best choices for a 10 year old, are not anything the child is not going to encounter. You are looking at this drinking situation from a 10 year olds eyes -- do you know the parents who were going to watch the kids? Just because they were (maybe) going to have a couple of drinks, doesn't mean they can't watch over the kids.

We have lived the nightmare. I think you need to consider the accusations your making here in the correct light. While they may not be your parenting belief, it doesn't seem as if they are affecting the long term relationship between your fiance & his daughter. Calling child protection services could affect that big time.

Also, if there are medical needs which need to be taken care of for the child, your finance should be making sure they are met. IMO, he's just as guilty that a child didn't get the dental work done which she needed -- regardless of whether he was paying child support or not!
 
You do sound like you care very much for this young girl. Like I stated in my first post, I do not know the whole story behind this. That is why I gave you my honest opinion, and told you what I would do. We obviously disagree on moderate drinking in front of children, as well as on "R" rated movies. I am going to assume that your comment on

"Maybe to some of you popping out kids and still living the same old party life you did before you had them is ok but it is not in my book. I think when you become a mother you are supposed to mature on a certain level and set an example for your children not teach them how to drink and dress like little hoochies and introduce them to movies they have no business watching."

is directed more to this girls mother than myself. I said that my DH and I drink on occasion. We only do that in front of the kids, or for that matter when the kids are in bed sleeping, 3-4 times a year. My DD is only 2, but she does not now or as long as I have any say will never dress like a "hoochie" as I don't either! My oldest DS does not seek out to watch "R" movies, nor do we let him do it on his own. The two movies I gave as examples are the only two that we own that he has seen. Then it was because we were watching it with him!!!!

Again, it really does sound like you love this girl. I hope that she realizes just how much you do care.
 
Lots of people raise their children differently than how you raise yours, but it usually doesn't mean that they are terrible or neglectful parents.

You sound frustrated with your fiance's ex, and I hope it's over more than what you've posted here.

Yeast infection? Well, that'll teach the child to change out of a wet bathing suit (if that's what actually caused it).

Drinking in front of 10-15 kids? Are these people getting stewed out of their minds in front of all these kids? What do the other kids' parents say about that?

Not going to the dentist? If the mother is unwilling or unable to bring her to one, why doesn't your fiance bring her himself when he has visitation?

Being left alone with the boys? Well, if they are doing anything to harm her, that could be an issue, but it's something you'll need some genuine proof of. And if it isn't very real, this is a road you don't want to travel down.

Someone said here earlier that they hoped you could work out your differences with this woman without involving courts and child protection services. I wholeheartedly agree.
 
Originally posted by southernclass
Do you live in a bubble?? THis happens all the time because some parents don't think!! Children are left alone with uncles, step children that they just meet cuz mom's latest fling shacks up with her after only a month. Maybe that is the world today, but it is not my world!!

You do realize that men are not the only child molesters in the world, don't you?
 
I'm sorry - I have to ask.

Southernclass - are you a troll?
 
I think you should spend a little more time worrying about your kids and a little less time worrying about her kids. Where are your kids again?
 
Originally posted by stinkerbelle
I'm sorry - I have to ask.

Southernclass - are you a troll?
\

Of course she is a troll! She was a troll when she was DD, but has been a relatively well-behaved troll lately. She is also mixing meds including an anti-anxiety medication. I have attempted to encourage her to watch out for herself a bit better, but she won't listen. I guess there is no helping a troll.

I also have reported this thread because I don't even think people like her should be open for attack.
 
You did not post looking for mature advice. You wanted people to agree with your immature, controlling attitude. Part of maturing is realizing the world is not black and white, you are not going to agree with everyone and everyone is not the same. Its ok for you to live by your strict standards but cannot push them on someone else. I see you mentioned the $540/mo. is that the real reason for you carrying on about this. Get the kid away from the mother and your Fi doesn't have to pay anymore. That's exactly what is sounds like or you would never have brought up the money to begin with.
 
Originally posted by southernclass
Very true but I guess my love is evident as a parent because I can care this much about her and her needs.

Sometimes loving child means swallowing your pride, especially true in blended families.

Like I said, if you have nothing valuable to say then don't bother posting. I did not come here to be critiqued but to be given mature advice.

I am not critiqueing you dear, you ASKED, "what should we do?" I responded. You just didn't like what I had to say.

I labeled no one on here a bad mother, I label the ex as one and with full right because I have known her and her ways all my life.

You may be cporrect that she is a "bad mother" but not according to anything poted here so far.

Maybe to some of you popping out kids and still living the same old party life you did before you had them is ok but it is not in my book. I think when you become a mother you are supposed to mature on a certain level and set an example for your children not teach them how to drink and dress like little hoochies and introduce them to movies they have no business watching.

Ohfercryingoutloud. :rolleyes:
 
Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
I think you should spend a little more time worrying about your kids and a little less time worrying about her kids. Where are your kids again?

Well, I think we can safely assume that they aren't anywhere near drinking and smoking adults, wet bathing suits, or older stepbrothers. :tongue:


(Sorry, I couldn't resist an attempt at some humor here. This thread is like Bizarro World!)
 
Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
I think you should spend a little more time worrying about your kids and a little less time worrying about her kids. Where are your kids again?

I believe she posted that they were being raised by their father. Apparently she only wants custody of the fiancee's child. :confused:

Again, why didn't the father take the child to the dentist?
 
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