Puppy scratching daughters face...

[SaraJayne]

I agree with all the PP. The problem isn't the puppy, it's your DD.

 

[Scurvy]

I have a weird quetion to put on this board. We have a 6 month old puppy named Shamrock who is a little 5-6 lb. Bichon. A little white fluffy dog. My daughter is 5 and is too rough with her. I remind her to be gentle but she tends to overhandle her and pick her up and one time I saw her dangling her over the railing leading to downstairs (mind you the puppy is scared to walk down the stairs and I know Sara knew she was wrong for doing this and cried when I corrected her).

Today Shamrock scratched her right on her eye- the scratch goes from above her eye over her eyelid and below her eye. Thank goodness her eye was closed or she really could have had her eye injured. Now tonight I just got home and my husband tells me she scratched her again on the other side of her face. Not sure if it's just a welt or another scratch. But I don't know what to do I am afraid she is really going to hurt my daughter next time. I have seen her snap at her face before and yelled at her for it but this is totally out of control now.

Any advice on how to put a stop to this without getting rid of her. I know the kids still love her and she is not like this with anyone else with the exception of scratching when you're holding her if she's over-excited and you just walked in the door. I think she is like this with my daughter becasue she is too rough with her but that's no excuse obviously. Any advice or infomation you could give me would be apprecitated.

I am wondering if this is your first dog (or at least your first dog with a child in your household) because some of your problems are easily avoided if you are familiar with the way that dogs and kids interact. Also, yelling is not going to help - it's just going to make the situation worse.

Regarding the bolded - of course that is the reason your dog is being rough. The dog is behaving naturally. Your child is hurting and scaring the dog, so the dog is flailing and trying to get away. The dog isn't doing anything wrong. You need to change your child's behavior first; then the dog's behavior should improve. I understand that you are concerned for your child's safety, but frankly at this point I would be far more concerned about the dog's safety. Also, this is an important time in the dog's development. Your child is essentially teaching the dog to be aggressive. If you let this continue the dog's personality could change forever, and not for the better.

Your child should not be around the dog at all unless they are supervised the entire time. Your child should not ever be picking up the dog, and should only be petting the dog gently under constant supervision. The dog shouldn't be able to scratch your child - Sara's face should never under any circumstances be within range of Shamrock's teeth or claws. And that's the case even with well behaved children and dogs, so it's even more important in a situation like yours.

You are going to have to make some major changes if you are going to improve this situation. If you aren't willing or able to do that, you need to find a new home for the dog. It is your responsibility as a pet owner to protect the dog from abuse, even the "unintentional" abuse by your child. Your child is definitely not ready to own a dog. Only you know if you are ready for the responsibility of having a dog in your household and all the extra work and attention that will involve.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

The dog needs to be given to a family that won't hurt or scare it. I think a child aged 5 should know better than to abuse a 5lb puppy. OP, please keep a close wye on your dd, this behavior is not normal.

 

[darlak]

OP, try if you can to mentally put yourself in the dog's place and I would think you'll realize pretty quickly that the puppy isn't to blame here. His actions fall completely under the heading of self-defense.

Yes, you have an obligation to keep your daughter safe, but when you adopted that puppy you also assumed an obligation to protect him. Your daughter needs to learn the appropriate manner to treat animals, but you have to ensure the puppy's safety in the meantime. If that isn't something you feel you can do right now or something you think your daughter is mature enough to learn right now, then for the puppy's sake, you should find him a new home.

Every creature deserves a home where they are safe from abuse. I know you want that for your daughter, but you have to also ensure your puppy has that as well.

 

[minkydog]

Until she handles the pup appropriately/safely/in a manner less scary to the pup you can only expect the puppy to react in fear and self-defense.

But most importantly, you need to supervise their interactions at all times. Both the dog and the child need correction if they misbehave.

I would suggest constant supervision when your daughter is around the dog- as others said, it's so important that she understands how to treat the dog. You admit that she is "too rough" with the puppy...can you imagine if someone was "too rough" with your child? She needs to learn the correct way to treat the animal.

Kids don't have a god-given right to touch (let alone harm) pets[/B]. Barring any developmental issues, five is old enough kids to learn to use gentle touch, not carry a dog around, leave an animal alone when it wants to be left alone, and so on.

The puppy has the right to not be mishandled and treated meanly and you as the adult have the responsibility to make sure this happens.

And your right there is no excuse for your daughter to be allowed to get away with mistreating an animal.

Your child is the problem, not the puppy. You already realize that she handles the poor thing roughly and inappropriately.

.

Your daughter is abusing this puppy. She's old enough to know better. If she can't stop, then she can't be allowed near him.

If you can't control your daughter's behavior, do the puppy a favor and find him a loving home where he can be loved without fear of being tortured. Dogs are not toys - they are living things.

Hanging the dog over a railing? Seriously? I can't imagine what she's done to the puppy while you weren't looking.

O.M.G. Where to even start. I think these other posters covered it pretty well. I have never heard of an aggressive Bichon. If your 5yo was handing a BABY this way I bet you would spring into action to save it.

It sounds like this is not a good match. Until your daughter is old enough to control herself(and you are more serious about supervising her) you need to be a pet-less household.

This is the problem with having a puppy with young children, you know. The puppy is scared and defending himself. I'd scratch her too if she held me over a railing!

 

[FayeW]

We have two (small) dogs, the oldest is 5 yrs old, and the youngest is 10 months. We have always had pets and have taught our children to play with them appropriately. We had a lab mix that we had for 12 years and then were dogless for 2 yrs. When we decided to get the first of our present dogs, our children were 7 & 9. Suzy has a wonderful personality, but when she was a puppy she sometimes nipped or scratched our son because he played with her inappropriatedly. The puppy was NEVER disciplined for acting in self preservation. My son was punished for playing too rough. I would tell him that until he learned to respect the dog's personal boundaries he could take what he gets. If she nipped him or scratched him, oh well, that was his own fault. I told him that puppies can't talk and tell people when they are hurt or scared, and that was the only way she could communicate that he was bothering her. (He wasn't abusive, but he always wanted to pick her up and cuddle her, etc, and sometimes they just want to be left alone).

I think you should change the title of your thread. Instead of "puppy scratching daughter's face" it should say "Daughter Abusing Puppy, How Do I Make Her Stop!"

 

[Christine]

The dog needs to be given to a family that won't hurt or scare it. I think a child aged 5 should know better than to abuse a 5lb puppy. OP, please keep a close wye on your dd, this behavior is not normal.

I just want to say that I agree with everything that everyone has stated. The child and parent are totally wrong in this situation and I hope the puppy doens't "pay" for this.

Having said that, I wanted to comment on the quoted statements above. I am a HUGE animal lover and always have been. But, back when I was 4 years old I treated the family cat horribly. It was the first pet that was ever in my household and it belonged to my uncle. I *LOVED* that cat, but I was too rough with it. I pulled its tail a lot, I hugged it too hard. I don't honestly know what I was thinking and, even though I'm 45 now, I still remember that cat and me "playing" with it. I obviously had no concept of animals or what they could take. I almost treated it like one of my toys/dolls/stuffed animals. My family recognized this, disciplined me, and I got scratched a LOT. They didn't put up with it for long and just decided to give the cat to another home. I guess my grandmother, who was responsible for me and the cat, didn't want to deal with it. I still feel bad about it.

My point is that I don't think it us abnormal behavior on your child's part or that there is anything necessarily wrong with your child, but you do really need to be stern with your child and supervise them at all times (until both of them mature).

 

[Disney Doll]

This is SPOT ON. Your child is the problem, not the puppy. You already realize that she handles the poor thing roughly and inappropriately.

Your daughter is definitely old enough to learn how to handle a pet the right way. YOU need to protect the puppy. If you don't feel you can do that, or if you don't feel your daughter can learn how to treat an animal correctly at her age...then I hope you do re-home the dog.

I don't think you have an aggressive or problem dog at all. I think you just need to teach your daughter how to handle her appropriately. And be sure the puppy's nails are trimmed well at the vets to avoid any inadvertent scratching.

I agree with this and quite frankly, at age 5, your DD is certainly old enough to learn how to appropriately handle a dog and if she chooses not to handle the dog properly, punish her.

The dog sounds terrified of your DD and is reacting in self-defense. If I was the dog, I would be too, based on your description.

 

[christiane]

I agree with everyone who is worried about your puppy's welfare. When I read about your daughter dangling the puppy, I felt sick about it.

But I disagree about finding her a new home. I would use this opportunity to teach Sara about what is appropriate behaviour around a puppy. I would only allow contact between the 2 under 100% adult supervision. Children of this age model very well, so you show her by your every interaction with the puppy what is kind & loving behaviour. You need to remind her when the puppy bites or scratches her, that the puppy doesn't like what she is doing & that she needs to correct her behaviour.

I have a little Bichon, too and they are smart, affectionate dogs who don't bite or scratch out of anger, but only fear. This is important for Sara to understand.

If you aren't willing to do that, then the puppy should be re-homed. I hate the term "getting rid" of a pet!! Please!! She is a living, sentient being, not a piece of trash or a bad odour.

 

[doxdogy]

Do as some others have suggested and rehome the pup. I am sure there is a Bichon rescue in your area. Hanging a puppy over a railing is not playing to rough, that is just plain cruel! If you do decide to rehome the dog, do it now! You don't want it to get to the point, where it can't be around any children.

 

[KAMKIM]

Two words: supervision and rules.

Wait, make that three words: supervision and strict rules.

Young children and animals need constant supervision.

A dog's instinct is to protect itself, for one thing. Also, rough play encourages, well, rough play. Have your DD play fetch with the dog, not rough games - which pit the dog against her.

But most importantly, you need to supervise their interactions at all times. Both the dog and the child need correction if they misbehave. It's a lot of work, I know. My children were 6 yo last time I had a puppy and I had my work cut out for me.

Good luck.

 

[sunnyday123]

what exactly were the consequences of your daughter dangling the puppy over the railing? If it was my house, she'd have everything but air taken away.

 

[Sarah_Rose]

I agree that the problem is your daughter's actions around the puppy, and not the puppy itself. However, I also disagree that your daughter is acting "cruelly". Kids don't instinctively know how to interact properly around animals, but need to be taught. If your daughter has never really been around dogs before, she can't be expected to understand what scares and hurts a puppy. I remember as a kid, we always used to dangle stuffed toys from heights as part of some game, and I'd guess that your daughter was just treating your dog as a toy.

I agree that your daughter needs to not be allowed around the puppy unsupervised until they both understand appropriate behavior around each other. You need to explain that the puppy only bites and scratches when it is hurt or scared, and model proper behavior around the puppy. Explain to your daughter that she will not be allowed to play with the pet, if she continues to be cruel to it. Five years old is definitely old enough to understand proper behavior and that there are consequences to every action.

Next, you need to start "child-proofing" your puppy. The adult that the puppy trusts the most should be the only one to do this, to start. Start by really gently handling the puppy's paws, tail, and ears, and then progress to feeling around the dog's ribs and stomach, and gently pulling the legs and tail. Only do as much as the dog will calmly tolerate in one sitting, and very slowly progress to more invasive forms of handling. If the dog snaps or tries to get away, scale back the interaction immediately. This can take months to do, but eventually you can get your dog to the points where it will be comfortable with anything that you can reasonably expect a (supervised) toddler to do to the dog. We have a 90 lb German Shepherd and 27 kids under the age of 9 in our extended (but constantly interacting with each other) family, so it was especially important for us. Our dog could very quickly seriously injure a toddler who innocently pulled his tail, if he wasn't "child-proofed". Last month, we had a toddler stick her finger in his eye, and he just blinked and gave us a bit of a "can you stop this?" look. It's also incredibly helpful for vet visits, where your dog will be felt all over, including areas that may be painful, if your dog is sick or injured. It's a real relief to not have to have your sick dog muzzled or restrained at the vet's, if they need a unpleasant procedure.

Seriously, I think rehoming the dog is a last resort. Your child will be around animals all her life, and she should learn how to interact with them. Likewise, your puppy needs to learn the boundaries.

 

[karynnix]

Punish the kid...protect the puppy. Makes sense to me.

 

[MushyMushy]

I agree that the problem is your daughter's actions around the puppy, and not the puppy itself. However, I also disagree that your daughter is acting "cruelly". Kids don't instinctively know how to interact properly around animals, but need to be taught. If your daughter has never really been around dogs before, she can't be expected to understand what scares and hurts a puppy. I remember as a kid, we always used to dangle stuffed toys from heights as part of some game, and I'd guess that your daughter was just treating your dog as a toy.

Really? I don't think I agree with that. I might if we were talking about a 2 year old or young 3 year old, but not a 5 year old. I would think by that age a child would know how to treat living beings with kindness and respect and they are certainly old enough to reason it out that a pet is not a stuffed animal! We're talking kindergarten age here!

 

[PatsMom]

I've got to agree with those who say you are allowing the child to abuse the puppy. The puppy certainly can't be blamed for acting in self defense. You are probably lucky that he hasn't done worse than scratching.

If you are going to keep the dog, I think you must diligently supervise all interactions until you have trained your daughter in the proper way to behave toward an animal. At 5, she is certainly old enough to learn.

If you are not willing to do this, then I'd say either the dog or the child needs to be re-homed.

 

[hereyago]

Next, you need to start "child-proofing" your puppy. The adult that the puppy trusts the most should be the only one to do this, to start. Start by really gently handling the puppy's paws, tail, and ears, and then progress to feeling around the dog's ribs and stomach, and gently pulling the legs and tail. Only do as much as the dog will calmly tolerate in one sitting, and very slowly progress to more invasive forms of handling. If the dog snaps or tries to get away, scale back the interaction immediately. This can take months to do, but eventually you can get your dog to the points where it will be comfortable with anything that you can reasonably expect a (supervised) toddler to do to the dog. We have a 90 lb German Shepherd and 27 kids under the age of 9 in our extended (but constantly interacting with each other) family, so it was especially important for us. Our dog could very quickly seriously injure a toddler who innocently pulled his tail, if he wasn't "child-proofed". Last month, we had a toddler stick her finger in his eye, and he just blinked and gave us a bit of a "can you stop this?" look. It's also incredibly helpful for vet visits, where your dog will be felt all over, including areas that may be painful, if your dog is sick or injured. It's a real relief to not have to have your sick dog muzzled or restrained at the vet's, if they need a unpleasant procedure.

Seriously, I think rehoming the dog is a last resort. Your child will be around animals all her life, and she should learn how to interact with them. Likewise, your puppy needs to learn the boundaries.

I whole heartedly agree. When my DD11 was an infant, I had to put my GS to sleep due to cancer, so we got a puppy hus/rot mix that was a month younger then our DD. But, we knew that somewhere down the line that either dd or another kid would pull on pup's tail. So we did what this poster has written to "child proof" the puppy.
We also taught dd how to touch animals and treat them. As long as I have a dog, I will do child proof it. OP, if you don't teach your dd how to handle animals, if you get another animal shoudl you give your pup up, you will continually have the same problems and it may end up worse then a scratch.

 

[robinb]

I am glad that you see and understand there is a problem and that you want to fix things . I believe that re-homing the puppy is an easy fix, but should be the solution of last resort. You and your family have a long road ahead of you and it's not going to be easy, but having a happy family with a happy dog is worth it.

In addition to what everyone else said about stopping the rough handling and reconditioning the puppy and girl to each other, I would also suggest that you encourage your DD to help train the dog. I really can't tell exactly what is going on to cause the scratching and biting from your post. The puppy may be struggling to get away from your DD or she may simply be playing with your DD like she did with her siblings. Biting and pawing are ways that puppies play with each other. The puppy needs to respect your DD as much as your DD needs to respect the puppy and the best way teach the puppy respect is for your DD to work with the puppy on her basic obedience. Of course, any training would have to come after the rough play is stopped.

Good luck!

 

[Sarah_Rose]

Really? I don't think I agree with that. I might if we were talking about a 2 year old or young 3 year old, but not a 5 year old. I would think by that age a child would know how to treat living beings with kindness and respect and they are certainly old enough to reason it out that a pet is not a stuffed animal! We're talking kindergarten age here!

I agree, that if a child has been taught to treat living beings with respect, then they should know better by 5. However, we can't expect anyone to necessarily instintually know this by 5, if they have not spent any time around dogs or cats and been told as a toddler to "play gently". Some kids have the innate knowledge, others do not. As a teacher, I have worked with many young children who would not hurt a bug, and many other young children who can not yet make the leap of "animals have feelings, too" without being taught by adults. It's a gross generalization to say that every 5 year old should know to play nicely, if we don't know the child's background with animals.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

You need to teach your child how to play properly with the dog and keep them separated if someone can not supervise their interactions at that specific time. I think rehoming is a last resort because you mentioned that the children love the puppy, meaning that you have more than one child. It's not fair to the puppy for your daughter to treat him that way, but it also wouldn't be fair to the other children to take the puppy away unless it's absolutely necessary. I know if I had had a younger sister or brother whose behavior resulted in my getting my dog taken away, I would have resented it for a long, long time.