PSA -- Gift Giving

[EthansMom]

When giving gifts this holiday season, please give some consideration to the "clutter factor" of your gift.

There's nothing wrong with giving a gift with lots of small pieces if the recipient would enjoy it. But please don't give gifts solely for any of the following reasons: because it's (1) bright and shiny and on an end cap; (2) the "most popular" anything; (3) on sale; or because (4) I love mine; (5) the salesperson recommended it; and/or (6) someone gave it to me and I don't like/don't want/won't use it (regifting).


I am currently going through the toys in my 8 year old's room to make room for Christmas and have thrown out yet another gift from last year that NEVER got played with at all. It was a gift given because (1) it was on sale and (2) his cousins like it. I suspect there are another 2 or 3 such items wandering around in his room that I haven't yet thrown out too.

Also, please aim for age-appropriate gifts. DS8 is just now able to use the electric scooter another relative gave him for Christmas 3 years ago.

Just my thoughts I wanted to share....

 

[golfgal]

There are plenty of things we have gotten our own children based on other recommendations that we thought they would love and they never played with them. Sometimes people give gifts with very good intentions and it doesn't always work out. You sound like my sister who complains about every gift she or her kids are ever given so people just give her cash and now she complains about getting cash. FWIW--my 5 year old nephew is getting an electric scooter and his parents think he is more than capable of using one.

 

[GoodFairies]

Instead of throwing out perfectly good unused toys you could donate them to a toy drive.

 

[EthansMom]

There are plenty of things we have gotten our own children based on other recommendations that we thought they would love and they never played with them. Sometimes people give gifts with very good intentions and it doesn't always work out. You sound like my sister who complains about every gift she or her kids are ever given so people just give her cash and now she complains about getting cash. FWIW--my 5 year old nephew is getting an electric scooter and his parents think he is more than capable of using one.

I, too, have bought gifts thinking one of the kids would love it and either the gift didn't work as advertised or the child just didn't care for it. It happens to all of us.

I really don't complain much about gifts. But it does seem quite a waste to throw out perfectly good items that have never been played with once.

 

[EthansMom]

Instead of throwing out perfectly good unused toys you could donate them to a toy drive.

Around here, none of the donation-type places (Goodwill, etc..) take toys any longer (liability issues due to recalls). Also, the toy drives want new, unopened toys (these are in new condition but have no box).

 

[agnes!]

EthansMom is right, most charities won't take used toys anymore. About the only thing I can think of is to maybe sell them at a yard/garage sale or put them on freecycle....

agnes!

 

[joyjoy]

I think that if someone goes to the trouble to purchase a gift for my child, she and I should both be gracious, grateful and polite. It's not a bridal registry. It's not really their responsibility to research what my kid already has or doesn't like. I think a lot of the times when gifts are given they may not represent deep thoughtfulness regarding the child's age, personality or preferences, but the person giving the gift did at least think of the child and gave him something to unwrap. Filling the wish list (inventory) should be up to parents or grandparents, if they only want the child to have things that will absolutely be put to use.

All this is just an opinion.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I think I like the psa that would teach my children to be thankful. When someone is kind enough to give a gift for the holiday, please be thankful for such gift. There are a lot of children who will go without a gift this Christmas. Be glad that your child is not one of them.

 

[EthansMom]

Hmm...

Maybe I am on a different wavelength than some of y'all. I love getting and receiving gifts as a general rule.

However, as evidenced by some of the posts in past years (for instance, the MIL gift posts), I'm not the only one who has interactions with people who choose gifts with little-to-no forethought.

I HAVE taught my kids to politely say "Thank You" for each and every gift given to them, regardless of whether they already have it or whether it is something they dislike, etc... And we only give gift ideas to those family members who request them and then that list is of a reasonable length and moderate (say, $25-30 per item) price.... and the list is more of a rough outline of things the kids like than a checklist of "must haves".

But, from a "green" viewpoint, it is very wasteful to purchase gifts that aren't likely to be enjoyed by the recipient. I could go into long detail about history. Suffice to say that we now ask extended family members to not give any gifts to DH and I (gifts only for the children), instead getting together (when possible), to spend time with each other in lieu of money on each other.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Hmm...

Maybe I am on a different wavelength than some of y'all. I love getting and receiving gifts as a general rule.

However, as evidenced by some of the posts in past years (for instance, the MIL gift posts), I'm not the only one who has interactions with people who choose gifts with little-to-no forethought.

I HAVE taught my kids to politely say "Thank You" for each and every gift given to them, regardless of whether they already have it or whether it is something they dislike, etc... And we only give gift ideas to those family members who request them and then that list is of a reasonable length and moderate (say, $25-30 per item) price.... and the list is more of a rough outline of things the kids like than a checklist of "must haves".

But, from a "green" viewpoint, it is very wasteful to purchase gifts that aren't likely to be enjoyed by the recipient. I could go into long detail about history. Suffice to say that we now ask extended family members to not give any gifts to DH and I (gifts only for the children), instead getting together (when possible), to spend time with each other in lieu of money on each other.

I think I see where you are coming from. I like to put a lot of thought into the gifts I purchase for people because I want them to enjoy them. But not everyone is good at gift giving and not everyone can afford to buy gifts.

But to me the bottom line is that we should be thankful for a gift received. I just can't get past that. Maybe it's because there were times when I did not have gifts as a child. Heck, there were times when my Mom didn't know where our next meal was coming from, let alone money for presents.

 

[Tink888]

When giving gifts this holiday season, please give some consideration to the "clutter factor" of your gift.

There's nothing wrong with giving a gift with lots of small pieces if the recipient would enjoy it. But please don't give gifts solely for any of the following reasons: because it's (1) bright and shiny and on an end cap; (2) the "most popular" anything; (3) on sale; or because (4) I love mine; (5) the salesperson recommended it; and/or (6) someone gave it to me and I don't like/don't want/won't use it (regifting).


I am currently going through the toys in my 8 year old's room to make room for Christmas and have thrown out yet another gift from last year that NEVER got played with at all. It was a gift given because (1) it was on sale and (2) his cousins like it. I suspect there are another 2 or 3 such items wandering around in his room that I haven't yet thrown out too.

Also, please aim for age-appropriate gifts. DS8 is just now able to use the electric scooter another relative gave him for Christmas 3 years ago.

Just my thoughts I wanted to share....

Sorry, but I think if you forwarded this PSA to the people who give you gifts you wouldn't have to worry about ever receiving another gift again.

Would you be happier if your child received a loaf of bread and some soap as a gift? Those things would get used.

It's not always easy to know what the "perfect" gift would be for another person. Be glad someone thought of you/your kids and made the effort. It's the thought that counts.

If what you are throwing away is in good condition, sometimes libraries, schools or other agencies that work with children will accept them. Or you could give them to friends or have your child ask their friends if they want them.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Yes, please don't just throw those gifts in the trash. Check around to a local church, hospital, school, shelter or something. There are kids who would love to have those toys.

It breaks my heart to think that there are kids who will get nothing for Christmas and you are throwing out perfectly good toys. I'm sure someone would take them.

 

[NotUrsula]

IME, homeless shelters will take used toys for the use of the children staying there. They won't take them for Xmas gift drives, but bored kids in shelters make a lot of noise, so they usually will take the toys for communal use.

Buying a child a toy because you know another child who liked it is perfectly logical. The trick to making it work is in looking past age and gender to see if the kids have similar interests. The best rule to have is that if you know just by looking at the box that you won't play with it, then don't open it.

 

[EthansMom]

Yes, please don't just throw those gifts in the trash. Check around to a local church, hospital, school, shelter or something. There are kids who would love to have those toys.

It breaks my heart to think that there are kids who will get nothing for Christmas and you are throwing out perfectly good toys. I'm sure someone would take them.

We hand down toys that are in good playing condition as much as possible. Our family also donates several toys to Toys for Tots and the local family shelter at the holidays.

The toys I'm throwing out are cheap, junky toys... The giver purchased several deep-discount ('cause they're really terrible) toys instead of one or two moderate-but-more-appropriate gifts because he/she prefers to give an enormous pile of stuff than one or two gifts that will get some play time. In all good conscience, I couldn't give these items on to another child. (In the meantime, they've cost the giver money, have been taking up space in our house for 11 months, and will now go on to take up room at the garbage dump.)

I have nicely told the giver, "You really don't need to get so many presents. The kids would be very happy with just one or two things that really interest them." And the giver does know the kids (and their interests) VERY well.

We will continue to say "Thank You", cart the gifts home, and figure out what to do with the stuff as the kids decide they don't want it any longer.

 

[starrzone]

Oh OP, I understand where you're coming from! I'm buying for a few kids this Christmas, and I know some of them like a particular type of toy that I reuse to buy because it has lots of small pieces. I just KNOW that these things will end up in a box or shoved in a closet. That seems to be the way with the "popular" toys...

Great tip that I got from someone: ask what the person's general area of interest is (horses, Star Wars, basketball, etc.). That way you can choose a gift of your liking knowing that the person will enjoy it. This works when people ask you for ideas, too; I like to be surprised, so if someone asks what I want, I'll say "something from my car", or "a Top 10 book" or something like that. Ah, the joys of the holiday season!

 

[Planogirl]

What's wrong with buying things on sale? If it's something that I know the person would like and it's on sale so much the better!

 

[Angelhalo]

EthansMom is right, most charities won't take used toys anymore. About the only thing I can think of is to maybe sell them at a yard/garage sale or put them on freecycle....

agnes!

Interesting. Our Goodwill and Salvation both still accept toys.

If yours don't, a great place to donate them would be the battered women's shelter. A lot of people don't think about how many children show up their with their mom's who had no time to grab any toys while they were escaping for their lives.

 

[okeydokey]

Wow, I didn't realize what a bad gift giver I am. I usually wait for things to go on sale to buy them.

 

[mkymouse1928]

Wow, I didn't realize what a bad gift giver I am. I usually wait for things to go on sale to buy them.

That's ok, both my mom and I are buying things for my niece that my cousin recommended because her son looooooved them when he was the age my niece is now. We can have a party in the bad gift giver camp!

 

[EthansMom]

What's wrong with buying things on sale? If it's something that I know the person would like and it's on sale so much the better!

Nothing wrong with buying something on sale. I love getting gifts for less money. If you notice I said "SOLELY" in my OP. In other words, buying a gift because it costs very little without regard to whether or not it is something the recipient might like.

Let's say you've got a little girl to whom you're giving a gift and you KNOW she doesn't like/play with dolls (as mine doesn't). Well, it doesn't make much sense to buy a baby doll for that girl just because the doll is marked down 50%, right? (DD5 does still occasionally get dolls from some friends/relatives. Now, she says "Thank You" and we leave the doll unopened so it can be donated to Toys for Tots the next year.)