PSA Control your dogs

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Sorry for the vent, but OMG I am so frustrated about my stepdaughter and her D O G.

Her husband was out of town, so she invited everybody over for dinner one night this week. It was a great gesture, but OMG her dog just ruins everything. MIL just absolutely will not go to her house because her dog is so unruly. She is afraid of getting hurt. I know I don't go over there much, because I do not like dealing with the dog either.

The dog is a German Shepherd/Lab mix (about a year and a half old) to give you a context about the size of this beast. When we get there of course, the dog is pawing at the door, she is just standing there saying "come in". DH opens the door, and this dog runs out and hits me like a football player trying to tackle somebody. DH is like, awwww he likes you so much. I wasn't amused. Of course it gets no better once we get in the house. He pounced me again and I bounced off the wall. I believe I am pretty sturdy, but this dog hits so hard he will knock you off balance. He was also pouncing the other step-daughter. She was just like, EXCUSE ME and going on about her business. I guess she is more used to him than I am. Right before dinner starts, she put the salads on the table.... then we look over, and the dog was on his back legs, with this paws on the table, eating one of the salads. At one point, he started running around like a complete fool, bouncing off the walls. (you can see where he has scratched the walls up and a lot of the paint is gone). She is like awwwww, somebody has "the zoomies". The zoomies? This is a really huge dog running around bouncing off the walls and shaking the whole room. This is NOT cute. Of course towards the end of dinner, I was talking and I tapped my fork on my plate, the dog jumped up from beside me, about knocking me out of my chair, and grabbed what was left on my plate. She is like oh yep you shouldn't have done that, he thinks that's an INVITATION.

I love my step-daughter, but I have serious concerns about this dog. I am questioning her sense sometimes because why couldn't she just put the dog in another room, or outside in his "playpen". The dog doesn't bite, but he is completely out of control and pounces so bad. If this was a chihuahua, it would be different, but this dog is huge. DH literally has voiced concerns, saying that he hopes she can get that dog under control before they have children. It has been suggested that they remove his "dangling accessories", but her husband is like NOPE, he is keeping those.

Sorry for the rant. I just wonder if this is typical dog behavior for a young large dog, or is there something seriously odd about this situation? I just wonder if he will grow out of this, or is there something just not right here.

 

[Moliphino]

The problem is the stepdaughter and husband, not the dog. Doesn't sound like they've done anything to train it at all.
I have large dogs who get really excited when we have guests. I put their harness and/or leash on when people come so I can hold them back while people come in the door. They know they're not supposed to jump up on people and they know they're not allowed to take food from the table or counters.

 

[firefly_ris]

This is typical behavior for a large, young dog who is not getting any training or adequate exercise. They don't innately know what is appropriate behavior -- clearly hasn't been taught much. Neutering him won't make him need less exercise or training. A German Shepherd mix is going to need a lot of physical as well as mental stimulation every day. This is an owner fail. Hopefully no one gets hurt but they seem totally oblivious.

 

[gottalovepluto]

They are bad owners. The dog is not receiving the proper training- and the owners are so bad they aren't protecting the public. In the meantime you need to protect yourself! Tell them straight up you will not be coming over if the dog is not put away, he is too much of a risk. I literally know someone who got hit by a dog exactly like this when they arrived at a house and got a concussion. What exactly are your plans if the next time you get hit you get a concussion? Break a bone? Strain a ligament? Who is paying the medical expenses and the therapy expenses if RICE doesn't fix it? My guess is you- unless it's bad enough your insurance decides to sue them. No, no you don't want to go down that path. You'd love to come for dinner, but the doggie must be put away until he's trained better.

 

[ddluvsdisney]

Yes agree with both PPs. The dog is not the problem it’s the owners. That poor dog definitely needs exercise and training both of which he clearly doesn’t get. I’ve had 2 labs that need exercise.
Shame on the owners to just allow that behavior around other people and think it’s cute.
Hope you are able to convince her to get help before the dog gets older.

 

[White Cat]

They are bad owners. The dog is not receiving the proper training- and the owners are so bad they aren't protecting the public. In the meantime you need to protect yourself! Tell them straight up you will not be coming over if the dog is not put away, he is too much of a risk. I literally know someone who got hit by a dog exactly like this when they arrived at a house and got a concussion. What exactly are your plans if the next time you get hit you get a concussion? Break a bone? Strain a ligament? Who is paying the medical expenses and the therapy expenses if RICE doesn't fix it? My guess is you- unless it's bad enough your insurance decides to sue them. No, no you don't want to go down that path. You'd love to come for dinner, but the doggie must be put away until he's trained better.

The homeowners insurance would cover it.

 

[Rogue1677x]

We have our puppy working with a trainer because when we adopted her we went knowing full well it would be beneficial.

Originally the rescue group thought she was part Australian Cattle Dog and part beagle. Well, the DNA test results came back, no beagle, 4% Australian Cattle and the predominant breeds are Pit Bull and American Staffordshire.

 

[kdonnel]

My wife and I often look back at the year we brought our two dogs to Thanksgiving and realize just how stupid we were.

We had been married just a couple years and had two dogs, no kids. We brought them to her grandmothers who at the time hosted the family Thanksgiving who also had two dogs of her own.

It was mayhem, just like an Allstate commercial.

At one point one of our dogs got ahold of the uncooked turkey and was licking away. We put it back on the counter and never said anything to anyone. We also never brought our dogs to anyone else's house.

We were bad dog parents.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

If this was a chihuahua, it would be different, but this dog is huge.

I mean it might be different in terms of jumping on you in terms of size but people confuse little dogs as being harmless and big dogs being more harmful. My sister-in-law has a pomeranian who displays more overt viciousness than the 70lb old english sheepdogs I grew up around ever did and the other pom my husband's family had was also super vicious, the other one they had was bullied by the other one into being super docile.

Sister-in-law's pom also has lap anxiety by which if she is not holding him he gets very upset and no one else is allowed to hold him. It's actually much more disruptive to being around her than the situation you describe, just try giving her a hug and you may get bit by her dog, try petting him especially if she's there you may get bit and putting him in another room won't solve anything. Enter the house and the barking is incessant. They actually like a year or two ago almost got kicked out of a hotel room because they left him in there unattended (to go to a basketball game) and with his temperament he barked constantly. The very sad and very unfortunate news is that the barking and even his entire temperament was altered back in spring when he suffered a stroke and became paralyzed including his bark. He has regain the ability to walk even do a run a bit except for one leg that still hasn't gotten like it was before, a slight bark is back though not as loud as it was before.

Point being while you see the risk of the size, which is absolutely valid, don't think that because the dog is smaller it would be less problems. Part temperament of the breed mixed with what the owners do for them. Labs are more docile overall, german shepards often need a lot of exercise and room to do so. Some of the behaviors you describe sound a lot like the dog isn't getting the interactive play he needs to exert the energy he has in a more constructive manner.

People will recommend training, which is for sure what you'd ideally have, but training as a suggestion is only good if the owners see a problem with the behavior and if they don't mind the jumping or the eating off the table why would they see a reason to train the dog..presently I mean.

But really truly your answer to all of this is to just politely advise you aren't going over to their house anymore. You don't need to go into all the details with high judgement being displayed because most aren't going to be receptive to that. Just give a brief reason when declining future invitations that it's related to the dog, some brief reasons....and then stick with declining them because it's going to be much easier to use your own control in this situation than it would be to try and make them do what you think they should do.

FWIW the suggestion around neutering can be done to attempt to reduce aggression but if people are just blurting out that neutering as an option thinking it would just make the dog magically not jump or take food off the table that's not only incorrect but ethically wrong too to suggest that. Training, reinforcement, interactive play, etc is the route and is the responsibility of the owner.

 

[pezgirlroy]

As others have stated the issue is not the dog it is the owners. Personally this sound like a dog I would love to hang out with but I love big dogs. The dog needs training as do the owners. And yes in my opinion the dog also should be fixed. Your only real course of action right now is to not go to their house for the time being.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

in my opinion the dog also should be fixed.

I think most pets should be spayed and neutered but not to correct the dog eating food off the table, that's like suggesting someone debark their dog surgically in order to stop it from barking and not opting to do anything prior to that (training and such). It becomes an unnecessary and could be construed as cruel medical procedure for the pure convenience of the owner (and wouldn't solve what is being described like eating food off the table).

 

[pezgirlroy]

I think most pets should be spayed and neutered but not to correct the dog eating food off the table, that's like suggesting someone debark their dog surgically in order to stop it from barking and not opting to do anything prior to that (training and such). It becomes an unnecessary and could be construed as cruel medical procedure for the pure convenience of the owner (and wouldn't solve what is being described like eating food off the table).

Agreed. It is a separate issue.

 

[disykat]

We crate trained and it made a huge difference to have a safe place where the dogs were happy to put them when company came. Our crate had a tabletop DH made and served as a large side table in our family room, so it was convenient, but they could safely observe everything. Any time we had extra people that might overstimulate them, they were in the crate before the doorbell rang and stayed there until people were sitting and there was someone with a lap happy to pet them for a while. We'd also put them back in the crate if we were sitting down for a holiday meal. If we didn't, sometimes we'd find out later they were under someone's feet begging. They knew not to do it with us, but apparently company was fair game. They knew who to target that wouldn't say anything! Once we figured that out, it was just easier to let them rest in their crate (where they could see us but not interact) when we were eating with larger groups of guests or groups including children. Having larger groups of company, small children who we wanted to introduce slowly, or construction workers, etc. were really the only time we used the crate after the initial training puppy period but having that option was so worth it!

I miss that crate! (We had two different dogs over 25 years but have decided to remain dog free now.)

Obviously, this info wouldn't help in OP's case because it's not her dog. I think her only option is to have her husband talk to his daughter and suggest meeting elsewhere since having company clearly "upsets the dog's routine." IF she asks for help, offer to buy her a book on dog training/behavior!

These stories are always sad because it's not the dog's fault that they aren't being trained.

 

[#1hoosierfan]

It is typical dog behavior for a dog that has not been taught manners and boundaries. I have fostered many many dogs over the years. People think it is cute when puppies jump up and act like that. It's not so cute when the dog is the size of a small pony. So many large out of control dogs get surrended in the 9 month to 2 year old range. The dog will probably settle down after a while, but it could be a few more years.

 

[Lumpy1106]

My gut instinct when I first read your post is, you went to her house, you were the guest, you are overreacting.
BUT...
I have a 9 month old Golden Retriever and we know his table manners are atrocious at times and he does get zoomies when he gets tired. We are working on that, he is getting better, but he's not even close to being able to have a dinner party with him in the room. She should not have hosted this dinner - period. I highly, HIGHLY suggest you offer to host the next dinner party, and absolutely, the dog is not invited. Give it time, the dog will get better, and only then should you ever accept another invite to their house. Be streightforward and honest with your friend and leave it at that. They already know they have a problem and they don't need unsolicited advice.

FWIW - this is the first dog we have ever crate trained. Our two previous dogs were both labs and they both got it right away. Not all dogs are the same and it does not mean your friend is a bad dog owner. It's going to take time, patience, and proper boundries. The only one of those things you have control of is whether or not you are at their house.

 

[Christine]

I never owned a dog until I moved out of the house. The first dog I got was a German Shepherd/Collie mix. I never researched it and had no idea what I was getting into!

I had no clue about dog discipline or training and the first two years of that dog's life were pure destruction. I finally started wising up and we did end up getting her trained and she behaved.

That particular dog breed combination is one of the smartest ones out there. They crave boundaries, discipline, and having a job to do. When you finally set your mind to it, a dog of that breed is incredibly easy to train but it takes work and commitment on the part of the owner.

What saddens me is that dogs like these often end up at a shelter or euthanized because of their lack of discipline. Either the owner gets tired of it (a perfect example is having a baby and then they can't manage the two) or the dog does something in its exuberance and lack of discipline and it hurts someone and ends up being put down. Completely failed by the owner.

OP, sounds like there's not much you can do and the dog owners are in some sort of denial. I feel really sorry for the dog.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I never researched it and had no idea what I was getting into!

My mother-in-law (seemingly out of the blue) got a golden retriever a few years ago saying "oh I always wanted one" (I've known her since 2007 she's never mentioned that) and then gave that dog away (to a person rather than a shelter) less than a year later because "it's too big for us to take care of and wants to be on our couch and laps too much he's just too big for us" unfortunately people like this exist far too often. And you're right the pets are usually returned to a shelter and sometimes put down due to space or behaviors most often caused by the shelter environment.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Some time ago, a young girl in our neighborhood owned a dog. She let it run everywhere off of a leash. No control. I did tell her she should keep the dog on a leash. In one ear and out the other. A teacher, who speeds into and out of the neighborhood at 15 over the limit or more ran him over. The girl panicked, and ran home screaming. A stranger to the dog (Me) had to comfort it in it's last few seconds. The teacher did stop long enough to ascertain the condition of the dog and as soon as she knew it was going to die she took off. My neighbor and I disposed of the corpse.

Well at least they learned something right? The next day same girl has a new dog her parents bought running loose off a leash and the same teacher sped into and out of the neighborhood at 15 over the limit or more. Neither of em learned a darn thing.

 

[Lumpy1106]

My mother-in-law (seemingly out of the blue) got a golden retriever a few years ago saying "oh I always wanted one" (I've known her since 2007 she's never mentioned that) and then gave that dog away (to a person rather than a shelter) less than a year later because "it's too big for us to take care of and wants to be on our couch and laps too much he's just too big for us" unfortunately people like this exist far too often. And you're right the pets are usually returned to a shelter and sometimes put down due to space or behaviors most often caused by the shelter environment.

Goldens - OMG. I've never had a dog that wanted to be hugged so much. He's absolutely adorable, but also very smart and a real handful. He has absolutely no instinct to protect anything. That's good because he rarely barks and we can trust him not to hurt anyone, but it would be nice to have another set of eyes on the front door. He's finally taken to potty training (took 8 solid months - each of my previous labs got it in minutes). He's in a crate when we can't watch him full time because he has eaten socks and underwear, plus absolutely anything he can access - which is pretty much anything. My last lab would not go near a crate which was fine - he also never got into anything.

Had it to do over I would get another lab. They are so much easier to train and want to please a lot more than a golden, but we're figuring it out.

 

[BrianL]

Goldens - OMG. I've never had a dog that wanted to be hugged so much. He's absolutely adorable, but also very smart and a real handful. He has absolutely no instinct to protect anything. That's good because he rarely barks and we can trust him not to hurt anyone, but it would be nice to have another set of eyes on the front door. He's finally taken to potty training (took 8 solid months - each of my previous labs got it in minutes). He's in a crate when we can't watch him full time because he has eaten socks and underwear, plus absolutely anything he can access - which is pretty much anything. My last lab would not go near a crate which was fine - he also never got into anything.

Had it to do over I would get another lab. They are so much easier to train and want to please a lot more than a golden, but we're figuring it out.

Goldens have the sweetest disposition of all dog breeds I think. They are so sweet, even with other animals. Plus, you can teach them to play basketball!