PSA 2day...if you smoke, don't whine that you're BROKE!!! minivent

[torinsmom]

I agree with the OP. I've definitely seen this situation more than once, and it always blows my mind.

As for the rest of this, I'm at a loss. I just had to stop reading the replies. The initial intention of this post was not to bash smokers in general, but people who smoke even though they can't afford the essentials in life for their children. I don't get why everyone has to make this a hate thread. We all have the freedom to make our own choices, and it isn't for anyone else to judge.

I hope I didn't come off like I hate smokers in my post. I don't hate anyone, but I love my health and my family's health, so when their addiction affects us, I have a problem with them. I am actually very lucky that noone in my family smokes, so I don't typically deal with this issue.

 

[shortbun]

I am bombarded with advertisements of McDonalds and many different alcoholic drinks on the television every time I watch TV, yet I've maybe eaten McDonalds 4 times in my life and I don't drink any of those alcoholic beverages. Why would smoking ads be different? Seems that the problem as I see it isn't in the ads....

Wow, you need a DVR!!! I haven't seen a mcDonald's ad in a few years, nor an ad for alcohiol. I DID believe the cable company's ad for DVR though and I'm sooooo glad I did!

Smoking is expensive. My son and I were talking about how much it costs people to smoke even a pack a day the other day. I smoked for 16 years; quitting was brutal but I made it to the other side when I was 32. I'm 57 and still a non smoker. I've saved a boat load of money-HURRAH FOR ME!!!!

 

[julie4423]

I hope I didn't come off like I hate smokers in my post. I don't hate anyone, but I love my health and my family's health, so when their addiction affects us, I have a problem with them. I am actually very lucky that noone in my family smokes, so I don't typically deal with this issue.

That falls under what I meant about everyone making their own choices. You make the "choice" to do what you need to do to not expose your family to cigarette smoke. How could anyone take issue with that? Somebody else may choose to do something else. What business is that of mine? We all have the right to control our own homes and what happens in them.

 

[Irin997]

No, it's not like a drug addiction....it IS a drug addiction. Some people's brains react differently than others so if it wasn't hard for you that's great for you...but studies have shown that nicotine can be harder to quit than heroin.

I think the reason that nicotine is so "difficult" to quit is because it's:

-legal
-socially acceptable
-readily available

Heroin on the other hand is not. I have a co-worker whose son has been dealing with a heroin addiction and he's been in and out of both jail and rehab so to even compare quitting smoking to heroin is ridiculous.

The simple fact is that if you want to quit you can do it. Quitting smoking won't make you physically sick or vomit as can happen with heroin withdrawal. You can't even compare being an alcoholic to smoking because alcoholics have to go through medical treatment just to stop drinking.

Maybe I'm a weirdo, but quitting smoking wasn't that hard for me. Sure I hadn't smoked for 20 years but I did smoke for probably a good 8 years. But my health and my daughter were more important to me. It's NOT that hard to quit. You just have to want it. And those that continue to smoke, don't want to quit. It's that simple. They can complain about the cost and they can say they want to quit, but they don't actually do it.

 

[LSchrow]

I can think of a whole lot of things that people waste money on..

what of the parent who is (for no valid medical reason) is overweight? or those who bought new shoes for themselves recently....or one that has anything other than (free) tap water to drink..or who goes to a movie occassionally? or having a pet? or who gets mani/pedis at all? for that matter, what of a parent buying a pack of gum for themselves?

simply, people who complain of no money (which includes all types - smokers and nonsmokers) frequently have somewhere they can cut excess. if you can't listen to their complaints without any degree of empathy for another human, just walk away (and then think of where you, yourself could cut back personal indulgences to make a even a slightly better life for your kids - there is always something).
glass houses and stones simply don't mix

 

[kaytieeldr]

It's NOT that hard to quit. You just have to want it. And those that continue to smoke, don't want to quit

I don't think that's a fair blanket statement. Great that it wasn't too hard for you to quit - but you smoked for eight years. If you look back at some of these posts, it's obvious some of the smokers have been addicted a LOT longer than that. See all the (apparent) adults whose parents have been smoking the posters' entire lives. Heck, because it was still allowed back in the 80s, my dad was smoking in his hospital bed after his heart attack . Addictions are addictions, period. Interesting that there's empathy and understanding for alcohol addicts and illegal drug addicts, but none for smokers.

 

[budafam]

This sounds like my brother in law and his gf. She has 3 kids. One which is out of the house on his own already (and a smoker as well). My brother in law and his gf both smoke probably a pack a day each. They can never do anything because they're always broke. My brother in law borrowed $500 from us to buy a tv in May. He said he would pay us back within a month. It took him 4 months because he just never had enough money. The kicker is that my brother in law has had health problems since he was born. Mainly breathing problems and he continues to smoke. DH started smoking when he was 10 years old (yeah, 10!) and he would smoke a pack a day as well. He quit 7 years ago when he was 21. He did it cold turkey and never looked back. I am so proud of him for that!

 

[kamik86]

Honestly I have some sympathy for the people that are my parents age and smoke. Even for those over oh 40 or so. Because maybe there wasn't the kind of education about how stupid it was back then.

However when I was in college listening to the guy next to me complain he is broke at the start of class and then at the break he has to run down to smoke a few puffs on a cigarette because he can't even make it though the rest of class without a smoke... yeah no sympathy there.

I know its an addiction. I have things I have trouble with too... but what I can't understand is why people pick them up in the first place.

 

[DawnM]

Couldn't this be said of ANYTHING that is taking away from your kids' wellbeing if you can't afford it?

I know people who do some pretty selfish things and then say they can't "afford" whatever it is their kids need.

I don't have much sympathy in general for people who buy all that they can't afford and then say they can't afford basic necessities.

Dawn

 

[tlbwriter]

Couldn't this be said of ANYTHING that is taking away from your kids' wellbeing if you can't afford it?

Absolutely. Alcohol, new cars, expensive electronics, vacations, etc. But the OP's personal trigger this day happened to be smoking.

 

[Planogirl]

A lot of judgmental posts on this thread. No, I don't smoke and don't think that anyone should but I will not judge what other people have to deal with or believe. I do agree that any parent can decide on the rules when it comes to their kids however.

 

[crystaldawn]

I work in OB and I cannot count the number of people/patients that request extra diapers, cans of formula, wipes, bulb syringes etc... But at the same time are using smartphones, laptops, xbox's etc... Then they go out to smoke... every hour or two. I know that I have had to go without so my kids could have things that they need... It's frustrating to me yes.

My mom smoked but gave it up when my younger brother was a year old. Her doc told her that she could not smoke with him in the house. She quit, cold turkey. Then as soon as we all moved out of the house... she started again. Even after 20 plus years she said she always craved them. She had a good job, no kids at home and constantly complained about not having money. Last year she died of a ruptured cerebral aneurysm. The neurologist told us that if she had not smoked and kept her blood pressure under control her risk of rupture with the type of aneurysm she had was less than 1%. She was 50 yrs old. As far as I'm concerned smoking cost her far more than money it cost her her life... it cost me my mother and it cost my kids their gramma.

 

[Irin997]

I don't think that's a fair blanket statement. Great that it wasn't too hard for you to quit - but you smoked for eight years. If you look back at some of these posts, it's obvious some of the smokers have been addicted a LOT longer than that. See all the (apparent) adults whose parents have been smoking the posters' entire lives. Heck, because it was still allowed back in the 80s, my dad was smoking in his hospital bed after his heart attack . Addictions are addictions, period. Interesting that there's empathy and understanding for alcohol addicts and illegal drug addicts, but none for smokers.

Simply said, if you actually want to quit and you put the effort into it, it's not that hard to do....been there, done that. A little bit of self control is all it takes.

 

[Acklander]

Couldn't this be said of ANYTHING that is taking away from your kids' wellbeing if you can't afford it?

I know people who do some pretty selfish things and then say they can't "afford" whatever it is their kids need.

I don't have much sympathy in general for people who buy all that they can't afford and then say they can't afford basic necessities.

Dawn

Absolutely it can be said of anything. But you're allowed to judge people if they waste money on cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, cell phones, or junk food. The thing is, I see the person who drinks pop complaining about the smoker, and the drinker complaining about the drug addict and so on. Its real easy to see what everyone else is wasting their money on.

 

[pannm]

Absolutely it can be said of anything. But you're allowed to judge people if they waste money on cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, cell phones, or junk food. The thing is, I see the person who drinks pop complaining about the smoker, and the drinker complaining about the drug addict and so on. Its real easy to see what everyone else is wasting their money on.

It isn't JUST about what people are wasting their money on though. My family 'wastes it's money' on Vacations...at least that's what DH's parents tell us...

Sure, I drink pop a few times a week, we go out to eat, we have cell phones. The fact of the matter is that we CAN have this stuff and spend our money on these things, because my kids and my entire family has all of their NEEDS met.

My husband and I CHOSE to have kids, so we choose to take care of their needs- even if we have to give something up that we want to do. it is called good parenting.

And, yes- this issue does DIRECTLY affect me and my family. We do our part in this community to donate items that other people need. We donate to the food pantry, we donate to the abuse shelter, we donate to the local schools that my kids go to- All for the sake of kids having what they need and doing the right thing.

When you see peole outside of the food shelf smoking an expensive, name brand of ciggs...makes me hope they don't get my donations! Does that make me a bad person??? Maybe. But, I would rather have the family who doesn't waste a dime and can't afford these NEEDED things to get them...

It makes me mad that I donated a BUNCH of my time and lots of items to the school's back pack project, then two or three of the people who show up- well, I KNOW who they are and two of them in the past have COMPLAINED to me and WHINED to me about how broke they are- then they go buy a case of ciggs. at the store...

These people make me feel like I AM FUNDING their addiction, because "hey, I don't need to buy those items- people donate them...lets by smokes instead."

It's very, very, very frustrating. And, yes, it's more than just smoking- this is just what has hit hard this week. It's alcohol, it's new clothing, it's going to the spa (most people around here wouldn't go to the spa and get free stuff from the food shelf, but it happens)...

It's all that stuff, but I'd say smoking, drinking and drugs are the MOST of it.

 

[Acklander]

If it bothers you that much to donate to smokers then don't. Instead just do direct donations to those who you feel are worthy of you're charity.

 

[Planogirl]

Simply said, if you actually want to quit and you put the effort into it, it's not that hard to do....been there, done that. A little bit of self control is all it takes.

If you do the research, you'll see that it can be hard for some people to quit. People are not all wired the same and some have way more problems with addictions than others. I'm glad that it was easy for you though.

 

[Planogirl]

Oops, double posted...

 

[julie4423]

It absolutely is harder for some than others. Some people are born with that addictive gene. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and let me tell you it manifests itself in more than just alcohol. Read up on it.

So, I'm totally ready to get flamed for this now, but this thread is driving me nuts. If the argument is all it takes is a little self control to overcome your addiction, shouldn't that apply to EVERY addiction? Would you dare to go up to someone who is morbidly obese and pass judgement on them for not having a little self control? No! It wouldn't be socially acceptable to do such a thing, so how dare you judge a smoker who has an addiction as well?

By the way, I have an aunt who is morbidly obese to the point of no longer being able to walk around to more than the bathroom. She is absolutely killing herself. However, I still don't feel the need to shame her about it. She is a grown up and perfectly capable of making her own decisions. She knows she has an addiction, and chooses to not "use a little self control". That is HER choice to make.

Y'all need to get off your mighty nonsmoker high horses and realize that what people choose to do is none of your business. Don't want to expose yourself to it? It's really not much of a worry since 99% of public places are nonsmoking.

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

I work in OB and I cannot count the number of people/patients that request extra diapers, cans of formula, wipes, bulb syringes etc... But at the same time are using smartphones, laptops, xbox's etc... Then they go out to smoke... every hour or two. I know that I have had to go without so my kids could have things that they need... It's frustrating to me yes.

I think parents do this because

a) hospitals charge outrageous amounts
b) a lot of these items (particularly the formula) the hospital gets very cheap or free from the supplier
c) having children is not cheap and anything that can help out is great
d) the parents may not have been prepared with their shopping yet and getting these extras from the hospital will allow another day or two before they have to go out shopping

The technology could have been a gift...circumstances could have changed and perhaps they could not afford them anymore, but at the time they could.