Proper Etiquette for moving out timeframe

[Mickeyistheman]

Hello Diser's!!!!!

I haven't been on here in quite some time and now I really need some feedback on how you would handle this situation.

I have been living with a friend from Highschool for the past year and half. She did me a huge favor because at the time I could not afford to have my own place rents were just to high and she was very nice and let me be her roommate for a good price.

However, things became not that great very quickly and since I could not afford to move out I had to stick it out which became tough but I did the best I could. She used to go up in my room which she still did and move things around and also throw out food, she didn't like that I bought.

Anyway, I got a phone call from a family friend saying that they have an Apartment available Sept 01, a little less than I am paying now.

I went to take a look at it and its GREAT! Best part though is that it will be mine!!!!! No roommate!

Since it is summer she goes down the shore and we haven't seen each other or really even talked for about 12 days. I found out that I got it on Aug 6th. She came home for a day on the 7th and I said we need to catch up and of course I knew what I needed to tell her.

We sat down and chatted for quite some time just catching up with each other and it was as great conversation for almost 4 hours. Then she says so what else is new and I told her that an oppurtunity came about and I am going to be getting my own place and will be out by Sept. 01.

I thought that at least 3 weeks enough notice and I did not want to miss out on this. She seemed ok and then the following morning starts sending me text
messages at work saying she was in shock and that she wishes I would
reconsider and thought we were going to be roomies for a long time.

( Sorry I am 34 years old and my next roommate will be my husband )

She is away now and won't be back until after Labor Day. Oh well have fun and we'll see each other I am sure.

I get home last night and there is a 3 page letter, saying that she is shocked and she wants to know why?
She also said that I am not giving her enough notice so she expects half of September's rent because it is a bad time of year for her since she is a teacher and I guess won't get paid till she gets back to school. ( not my problem )
She also decided to go out and buy a new couch, never said anything to me, I am never even home enough to use the living room and said if she knew I was moving out she would have never spent $600 bucks on it. (Again not my problem )

We never signed any paperwork it was pretty much I can pay this are you ok with that, yes and that is how it worked for the past year and 6 months.


My questions are:

How much more notice is proper?

Does she have a right to ask me to pay for half of September's rent?

Any additional comments are fine, heading out food shopping, hope to come back with some great feedback!

 

[gillep]

Hello Diser's!!!!!

I haven't been on here in quite some time and now I really need some feedback on how you would handle this situation.

I have been living with a friend from Highschool for the past year and half. She did me a huge favor because at the time I could not afford to have my own place rents were just to high and she was very nice and let me be her roommate for a good price.

However, things became not that great very quickly and since I could not afford to move out I had to stick it out which became tough but I did the best I could. She used to go up in my room which she still did and move things around and also throw out food, she didn't like that I bought.

Anyway, I got a phone call from a family friend saying that they have an Apartment available Sept 01, a little less than I am paying now.

I went to take a look at it and its GREAT! Best part though is that it will be mine!!!!! No roommate!

Since it is summer she goes down the shore and we haven't seen each other or really even talked for about 12 days. I found out that I got it on Aug 6th. She came home for a day on the 7th and I said we need to catch up and of course I knew what I needed to tell her.

We sat down and chatted for quite some time just catching up with each other and it was as great conversation for almost 4 hours. Then she says so what else is new and I told her that an oppurtunity came about and I am going to be getting my own place and will be out by Sept. 01.

I thought that at least 3 weeks enough notice and I did not want to miss out on this. She seemed ok and then the following morning starts sending me text
messages at work saying she was in shock and that she wishes I would
reconsider and thought we were going to be roomies for a long time.

( Sorry I am 34 years old and my next roommate will be my husband )

She is away now and won't be back until after Labor Day. Oh well have fun and we'll see each other I am sure.

I get home last night and there is a 3 page letter, saying that she is shocked and she wants to know why?
She also said that I am not giving her enough notice so she expects half of September's rent because it is a bad time of year for her since she is a teacher and I guess won't get paid till she gets back to school. ( not my problem )
She also decided to go out and buy a new couch, never said anything to me, I am never even home enough to use the living room and said if she knew I was moving out she would have never spent $600 bucks on it. (Again not my problem )

We never signed any paperwork it was pretty much I can pay this are you ok with that, yes and that is how it worked for the past year and 6 months.


My questions are:

How much more notice is proper?

Does she have a right to ask me to pay for half of September's rent?

Any additional comments are fine, heading out food shopping, hope to come back with some great feedback!

If it were me, I would go ahead with my plan to be out by Sept 1 and not think twice about it. You had no lease or formal agreement and you gave her almost a month of notice. She made the choice to purchase a couch and she needs to live with that choice and not have buyer's remorse now and try to make you feel bad for something that had nothing to do with you.


Good luck with the new place

 

[Skip2MyLou]

IMO, 1 month notice should be minimum. Since you couldn't give her that, then I think asking 1/2 of Sept rent is fair. Especially if you want to keep her as a friend.

However, since there is nothing in writing, I don't think she can force you to pay (like going to small claims court) but don't expect to keep her as a friend.

 

[whoopsiedoodle]

That's a tough call. I would normally say a months notice is what is required but since you didn't have a lease or any signed paperwork then I suppose it doesn't really matter. 3 weeks is still a decent notice. If you want to keep her as your friend then perhaps pay some of Sept rent but if not just move out and on with your life.

OH and as for her wanting to know why, all you need to do is explain to her that you are ready to be out on your own again. You didn't intend on having to stay as long as you did and now that a new opportunity is open to you you have to jump at it!

 

[wdwmom2]

I don't know what is technically "proper" notice, especially since nothing was in writing. But, just sitting here, 1 month sounds like a reasonable minimum. I would probably pay her the difference of when you move to when the actual months notice would be up. That way I would not have any guilty feelings of leaving her stuck without a roommate. But that's just me

As far as her buying the couch, that is on her. That was her decision.

Sounds like she depends on your rent to make her bills. Now she may need to look for another roomie!

 

[Katy Belle]

If it were me, I'd give her the 1/2 of September. She did you a favor, helped you out when you needed a place to live, at a good price. She is not home to look for a roommate. Not your problem, but I think the right thing to do is pay her the extra half month.

 

[trip]

From my renting days, it was required to give 30 days notice. You only gave her 3 weeks. Pay her half of Sept. especially since "She did me a huge favor because at the time I could not afford to have my own place rents were just to high and she was very nice and let me be her roommate for a good price."

If you ever rent with someone else again make sure to have a contract.

Good luck in your new place!

 

[minniecarousel]

No - she's out-of-luck!

I think 3 weeks is plenty for an informal agreement. She shouldn't have been using your rent $$ as living expenses without a rental agreement. If she needs a roommate to make monthly expenses, she goofed.

So, the apt is cheaper than what you'd been paying her?! Sounds like she was overcharging you.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Thirty days notice is customary, and you would be on the hook for all of September since you ran into that month. She is giving you a break. Since she gave you a place to stay when you needed it, and you consider her a friend, I would pay 1/2 of September like she is requesting.

I moved out several years ago due to a job change and paid an entire 2 months rent without hesitation. It takes time for a replacement roommate to be found, and it is a courtesy to pay your portion of the rent while they search for one. She could have made her summer plans counting on your contribution to the rent.

You are not moving out till September 1st, so you are really only paying an extra 2 weeks. That is not a lot to pay in order to stay on good terms with someone that helped you out.

 

[RitaE]

I agree with the others, the standard is 30 days no in absence of a formal lease. But she has no legal recourse to hold you to that so it is up to you to decide.

I remember your previous thread, I'm glad you found a better situation.

 

[Pakey]

With no written agreement, it's 30 days' notice.

 

[pixiewings71]

30 days notice, even if you are "going into September" with your 30 days you do not owe her a full or even half month of rent. You owe her the 7 days of Sept because you told her on the 7th. It's easy to figure out your daily charge, just divide your monthly rent by 30 days and there ya go. I would give her the 7 days rent but not half the month. did you give her any type of security deposit? If so I'd probably tell her to keep that and move out! You don't have a formal agreement, nothing on paper, so she can't take you to small claims court, you may lose her as a friend but that's probably about it.

 

[ols386]

I thought 30 days notice was customary, especially since you never signed a lease. I'd probably pay her for half of September.

 

[okeydokey]

I think a good and reasonable compromise is the half of Sept.

Congrats on finding your own place!

 

[trip]

30 days notice, even if you are "going into September" with your 30 days you do not owe her a full or even half month of rent. You owe her the 7 days of Sept because you told her on the 7th. It's easy to figure out your daily charge, just divide your monthly rent by 30 days and there ya go. I would give her the 7 days rent but not half the month. did you give her any type of security deposit? If so I'd probably tell her to keep that and move out! You don't have a formal agreement, nothing on paper, so she can't take you to small claims court, you may lose her as a friend but that's probably about it.

Any rental agreement that I have seen has the 30 day notice to be given on the rent due date. If rent is due the first of the month and you give notice on the 10th you still will owe for the next full month.

 

[ilovemk76]

If it were me, I'd give her the 1/2 of September. She did you a favor, helped you out when you needed a place to live, at a good price. She is not home to look for a roommate. Not your problem, but I think the right thing to do is pay her the extra half month.

This

 

[minkydog]

If it were me, I'd give her the 1/2 of September. She did you a favor, helped you out when you needed a place to live, at a good price. She is not home to look for a roommate. Not your problem, but I think the right thing to do is pay her the extra half month.

I agree. It would probably go a long way toward assuaging her feelings if you did. You don't legally owe her anything, but morally speaking, she pulled you out of a hole and you should at least acknowlege that. Give her half of September's rent and walk away with your head up.

 

[Jennasis]

30 days is customary, especially if you wish to maintain ANY type of cordial relationship with this woman who "helped you out" when you needed it.

 

[Mickeyistheman]

I do feel that 3 weeks is a good notice, I would have preferred to give her a month, however this just literally happened withing 2 days. I also feel that even if I had told her on August. 01 that I was moving out, she still would have asked me for money because that is how she is.

This has not been an optimal living situation and with all of the food she has thrown out on me over the past year and half I don't think I owe her that money.

I was actually going to get her and her grandmother a gift but no forget that.

I am still debating because A I don't want issues, but there I do not want to continue to have this person in my life. Yes she did me a favor but now are you taking advantage of me because you know I am paying less?

And actually its none of her business what I am paying now but she just kept harping on me sending me a million text messages while I was at work. So I gave in. Just to get her off my back. I have one mother I don't need 2.

She said that I picked a bad time to move out because her summer work ended (she is a teacher) so that means you don't have money to pay your bills, sorry that is not my problem so you are going to extort me for mine?

I am very torn I am not paying her half a month of rent, I don't fee it is warrented I would pay her for a week, since I only gave her 3 weeks notice but I don't even feel I owe her that.

 

[Jennasis]

Well since you don't want her in your life any more, go ahead and just do whatever you want. Seems like you had your mind made up before posting anyway.