Proper Etiquette for moving out timeframe

[okeydokey]

I did ask for proper etiquette. I was asked by her when we were discussing this what did I feel was a proper amount of rent. So I told her what I could afford and that was it.

Her Grandmother owns the house some months I paid cash others were by check. Made to cash per her request.

I was paying rent for a room, that most of my friends had said was a rip off.

Several had offered for me to move in with them, but due to my family responsiblities I stayed where I did. I had several conversations with her when she just went into my room without asking and touched and moved things around. I had asked her to text me first and not just go in.

I was not living for free. I had asked twice when she needed more money because of electric and cable. I was never able to see the bills.

Yes I did stay and granted it was not great. I was never home, I worked late so I would not have to see her and I could not even cook because it was an
uncomfortable living situation.

What I don't understand is why she thought I was going to live there forever, that was never agreed upon and I had said this was not permanent and I was hoping to be out within 2 years. Having a conversation with her is difficult because she just doesn't get it.

She also does not like to talk about problems face to face which is why she always left notes around when she was not there.

If you all did read one of my last posts was that I felt that since I had only give her 3 weeks notice I was going to give her a weeks worth of rent and call it a day.

Yes she did me a favor and for the past year was living off of my money going away on trips etc. She had no roommate before I got there, the last one she had 5 in 10 years. Left 3 years ago.

I do not owe her a months rent and yes the lawyer that I spoke with does deal in Real Estate and if there is nothing in writing it can be difficult.

You all have a great weekend I know I will.

Cheers,

She is asking for 2 weeks worth of rent? There is really not much difference, I would just give her the two weeks. Then you walk away and feel OK about it.

 

[Jennasis]

Perhaps...JUST MAYBE...the reason she leaves notes around for you is because (by your own admission) YOU'RE NEVER AROUND??? You work late. You avoid her.

And just STOP justifying your actions. You're wrong. Even if she was the Wicked Witch of the West, there is a protocol. Frankly you'll both be better off without each other, but you're going about it in a lousy way.

 

[sookie]

I agree with the many posts who say that you give her the rent up until two weeks into September. She did you a solid and you are leaving her hanging otherwise.
That being said, OP, you don't have to listen to any of the advice we give you. No one is twisting your arm.
But dangit, I hate it when people ask for advice and then argue with those who respond. Gracously accept whatever advice people give you and then do whatever you dang well please. You asked for advice. Accepting does not mean you are going to do it or saying you are going to do it. There is a way to accept advice even when you aren't going to follow it. Which, sounds like you probably aren't, even though 90% of the people in this thread has even you consistent advice saying to pay her into half of September.
Apparently you wanted some validation for whatever you wanted to do before you came here, and we aren't giving it to you. Sorry, that isn't how this process works. Bummer, I know - but don't take it out on the people in the thread!!!

 

[Skywalker]

You are in the wrong here OP, by treating someone this way, no matter how much you have built up in your mind this victimhood thing.

And be very wary of your friends who are encouraging you to screw this person over...they will do the same to you if it benefits them.

 

[hsmamato2]

If it were me, I'd give her the 1/2 of September. She did you a favor, helped you out when you needed a place to live, at a good price. She is not home to look for a roommate. Not your problem, but I think the right thing to do is pay her the extra half month.

agreed. She did you a favor,now you return it by paying 1/2 of Sept.

 

[hsmamato2]

You owe her the money, you have gotten poor advice from family, friends and the so-called lawyer.

If I were her I'd be in a couple of weeks when you move out. It sounds like it was a bad situation for HER. Your attitude and slamming of her is immature and not called for.

Your attitude is immature and if I were her I'd say good riddance!!!!

agreed here too....you're 34 years old,and needed her to help you. She did,and now you won't pay up. If you hadn't needed her, you wouldn't have moved in. I feel sorry for her,not you.

 

[Sultana]

Karma...

that's all.

 

[sparklynails23]

Have you been paying rent in cash, or has she been reporting that rental income to the IRS? If she presses for extra rent, you could always threaten to turn her in.

 

[LuvLDM]

um, did you mistype in your op when you said you are 34?

mte

 

[sookie]

have you been paying rent in cash, or has she been reporting that rental income to the irs? If she presses for extra rent, you could always threaten to turn her in.

wth?

 

[cornflake]

I did ask for proper etiquette. I was asked by her when we were discussing this what did I feel was a proper amount of rent. So I told her what I could afford and that was it.

Her Grandmother owns the house some months I paid cash others were by check. Made to cash per her request.

I was paying rent for a room, that most of my friends had said was a rip off.

Several had offered for me to move in with them, but due to my family responsiblities I stayed where I did. I had several conversations with her when she just went into my room without asking and touched and moved things around. I had asked her to text me first and not just go in.

I was not living for free. I had asked twice when she needed more money because of electric and cable. I was never able to see the bills.

Yes I did stay and granted it was not great. I was never home, I worked late so I would not have to see her and I could not even cook because it was an
uncomfortable living situation.

What I don't understand is why she thought I was going to live there forever, that was never agreed upon and I had said this was not permanent and I was hoping to be out within 2 years. Having a conversation with her is difficult because she just doesn't get it.

She also does not like to talk about problems face to face which is why she always left notes around when she was not there.

If you all did read one of my last posts was that I felt that since I had only give her 3 weeks notice I was going to give her a weeks worth of rent and call it a day.

Yes she did me a favor and for the past year was living off of my money going away on trips etc. She had no roommate before I got there, the last one she had 5 in 10 years. Left 3 years ago.

I do not owe her a months rent and yes the lawyer that I spoke with does deal in Real Estate and if there is nothing in writing it can be difficult.

You all have a great weekend I know I will.

Cheers,

Wow.

First, all your other posts are on about she has bills, she bought a couch, etc., all of which you say are not your problem - and then say you would have given her a month's notice, but just found out so only gave her three weeks - NOT HER PROBLEM. You owe her 30 days notice. You're also staying into September, pay her the two weeks.

Bolded 1 - You realize those aren't the same thing, right? She asked you what you felt was proper and you told her what you could afford? Not the same thing.

Bolded 2 - Whether your friends thought it was a rip off or not has exactly nothing to do with anything. You saw it, you apparently even had other options, you chose it, so apparently you didn't think it was a ripoff.

Bolded 3 - As someone else says, you say you were never home. You also say it was impossible to have a conversation with her because she "doesn't get it." Maybe she feels the same about you, hence the notes.

Bolded 4 - Maybe the electric bills were higher those months? You were living there too. If you were concerned, you should have asked to see the bills. Not her problem you didn't.

Bolded 5 - Living off your money? You say she didn't have a roommate for years previous to you moving in so it's not as if she was incapable of supporting herself. You were living in her home, so you were paying her rent. Then she'd use that money to live, yes. How is that wrong of her? You make it sound like some character flaw, like she's a bad scammy person for... taking rent money from someone living in her house and spending it on expenses.

 

[ShesAPirate]

I agree with the many posts who say that you give her the rent up until two weeks into September. She did you a solid and you are leaving her hanging otherwise.

Apparently you wanted some validation for whatever you wanted to do before you came here, and we aren't giving it to you. Sorry, that isn't how this process works. Bummer, I know - but don't take it out on the people in the thread!!!

Couldn't agree more, on all counts!

 

[Bob NC]

Have you been paying rent in cash, or has she been reporting that rental income to the IRS? If she presses for extra rent, you could always threaten to turn her in.

WTH are you talking about?

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Have you been paying rent in cash, or has she been reporting that rental income to the IRS? If she presses for extra rent, you could always threaten to turn her in.

Is this what you would do?

birds of a feather...

 

[LilyWDW]

It is quite obvious that the OP has no care as to the legal requirements or the proper etiquette. They have been posted and the OP continues to deny them. That is fine. I just hope that the OP realizes what could happen to them by going about this they way they are. It is more and more obvious that the OP just wanted a bunch of people to come and tell them that they are doing the right thing. When that didn't happen, she got upset with us. Oh well...

I do wish I know the roommate and could get HER side of the story. I would bet it is quite different...

 

[Arielle22]

I work for a property management company here in MA. On a month to month tenancy we require notice on the day you pay your rent. If you give it during the month you still owe for the next month.

OP, I find it hard to beliee a lawyer told you it would be tough without anything in writing. Lawyers are usually very conservative and look at worse case scenario. In your case that would mean being summoned to small claims court where you would have to explain why you screwed over someone who helped you out during your time of need.

So if the new apartment hadn't come along, you would be fine with staying right? It is only when you have another place to go that your roommate becomes unbearable to you.

You really should look at your situation again and see it how we do.

 

[ScottOKW2K]

I did ask for proper etiquette. I was asked by her when we were discussing this what did I feel was a proper amount of rent. So I told her what I could afford and that was it.

Her Grandmother owns the house some months I paid cash others were by check. Made to cash per her request.

I was paying rent for a room, that most of my friends had said was a rip off.

It doesn't matter what your friends thought. She made an offer for a place to stay for $XXX/month, you accepted and then paid for 18 months. to paraphrase an old adage - "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 18 times, shame on me."

Several had offered for me to move in with them, but due to my family responsiblities I stayed where I did. I had several conversations with her when she just went into my room without asking and touched and moved things around. I had asked her to text me first and not just go in.

I was not living for free. I had asked twice when she needed more money because of electric and cable. I was never able to see the bills.

Yes I did stay and granted it was not great. I was never home, I worked late so I would not have to see her and I could not even cook because it was an
uncomfortable living situation.

What I don't understand is why she thought I was going to live there forever, that was never agreed upon and I had said this was not permanent and I was hoping to be out within 2 years. Having a conversation with her is difficult because she just doesn't get it.

You've heard of "the pot calling the kettle black." Pot, meet kettle.

She also does not like to talk about problems face to face which is why she always left notes around when she was not there.

If you all did read one of my last posts was that I felt that since I had only give her 3 weeks notice I was going to give her a weeks worth of rent and call it a day.

Yes she did me a favor and for the past year was living off of my money going away on trips etc. She had no roommate before I got there, the last one she had 5 in 10 years. Left 3 years ago.

In relation to the bolded text - whether the trip was paid for with money she earned or rent you paid is immaterial. For 18 months she provided what you needed at a price you agreed to. Once those funds were paid to her those monies were NOT YOURS in any way, shape or form.

I do not owe her a months rent and yes the lawyer that I spoke with does deal in Real Estate and if there is nothing in writing it can be difficult.

You all have a great weekend I know I will.

Cheers,

Please share your tale of woe with the next person you will be renting from. I hope that they will be asking for a for a security deposit and first and second months rent in advance. That is fairly standard, and I'm sure you were as least as honorable with your current landlord. We wouldn't want either party to be tken advantage of , would we ?

 

[Jennasis]

Ya know...by the OP's "rules", the friend COULD just toss this chick out on her butt right now with no recompense.

I'm reminded of the time two of my friends decided to share a house. One of them, we'll call her Sue, decided to take a two week vacation. She told her roommate, Jenny (who owned the home), that since she would be away for two weeks that she didn't feel she should have to pay the rent for those two weeks!

Of course, Sue is intellectually disabled...so once it was explained to her that that isn't how things worked, she paid up.

 

[cm8]

It doesn't matter what your friends thought. She made an offer for a place to stay for $XXX/month, you accepted and then paid for 18 months. to paraphrase an old adage - "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 18 times, shame on me."



You've heard of "the pot calling the kettle black." Pot, meet kettle.



In relation to the bolded text - whether the trip was paid for with money she earned or rent you paid is immaterial. For 18 months she provided what you needed at a price you agreed to. Once those funds were paid to her those monies were NOT YOURS in any way, shape or form.



Please share your tale of woe with the next person you will be renting from. I hope that they will be asking for a for a security deposit and first and second months rent in advance. That is fairly standard, and I'm sure you were as least as honorable with your current landlord. We wouldn't want either party to be tken advantage of , would we ?

how you could deal for that long is beyond me

 

[Minnesota!]

Perhaps...JUST MAYBE...the reason she leaves notes around for you is because (by your own admission) YOU'RE NEVER AROUND??? You work late. You avoid her.

And just STOP justifying your actions. You're wrong. Even if she was the Wicked Witch of the West, there is a protocol. Frankly you'll both be better off without each other, but you're going about it in a lousy way.

Karma...

that's all.

OP - grow up and DO THE RIGHT THING!!!!! You are NOT going to get a pat on the back here for screwing over someone who stepped up to help you.