Prom - You can't come unless you have a date of the opposite sex

[WDWJDS]

I never knew that some schools had this policy until a friend of my daughter's told us. She goes to a different school than DD and wanted to go to her own school's prom but didn't have a date. My daughter said that she would go with her (Dd's friend has accompanied DD to some of her own dances since her friend knew a lot of the kids from attending middle school with them). DDs friend said that she can only bring a guy and that she isn't even allowed to come alone. Friend said that if kids want to go but don't have a date, they just find someone of the opposite sex and lie to the school about being their date (I believe they have to sign something with the date's name on it or something). Not sure how they handle things at the door.

Besides the presumable intent to squash same-sex gay couples at the prom (this is only my assumption), what other reason could there be to deny a student to attend a prom alone or with a group of same sex friends?

My daughter hasn't started dating yet and plans to attend her own prom with a group of her own female friends. I'm glad that DDs school doesn't have that policy.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

The while thing about the date having to be of the opposite sex is bad enough, but they can't even attend stag?

 

[jlewisinsyr]

Besides the presumable intent to squash same-sex gay couples at the prom (this is only my assumption), what other reason could there be to deny a student to attend a prom alone or with a group of same sex friends?

There really isn't another reason! If I were the friend, this would be a case where I would intentionally manipulate the system to bring light to the issue with the rule.

To do so, I'd find a lesbian couple and swap "dates" for registration purposes, contact the media and then let all hell break lose when they deny entry or cause a problem at the dance when I started dancing with my partner!

 

[DeaverTex]

There really isn't another reason! If I were the friend, this would be a case where I would intentionally manipulate the system to bring light to the issue with the rule.

To do so, I'd find a lesbian couple and swap "dates" for registration purposes, contact the media and then let all hell break lose when they deny entry or cause a problem at the dance when I started dancing with my partner!

I like your style. This sort of BS doesn't belong in the schools in the twenty first century. No date, same-sex date, multi-person group -- what difference does it matter?

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

I mean, I've heard of some concern of friends just trying to take advantage of the "couple" price for the tickets (single ticket is $45 vs $75 couple ticket for example) but this sounds silly. Prom is an experience for everyone regardless of they have a date or not.

 

[design_mom]

My school had a very restrictive prom policy. It was a Catholic school.
-- Tickets were only sold to boy-girl couples. You had to put your name and your date's name on the ticket when you bought it. Singles were not allowed to purchase tickets (couldn't buy a ticket with a friend, nor could you buy a couples ticket and leave the date's name blank.)
-- Only juniors and seniors could attend. (Your date also had to be a junior or a senior. If you were a junior dating a sophomore, too bad. They can't attend. If you're a senior dating someone who graduated the previous year, they can't attend either.)
-- If your date was from another school, you had to "register" them with the office and they had to be "approved." And they had to show ID at the door.

To top it off, our class had substantially more girls than boys, so a lot of girls had to look outside the school if they wanted to go at all. I didn't end up going to the junior prom because I didn't have a date. I found a date outside the school for the senior prom because I wanted to go. A friend had a date, but her date ended up being sick. The administration turned her away at the door because she didn't come with her date -- and she couldn't even have brought another guy because guy #1's name was on the ticket.

It was really pretty silly. This was back in 89/90, so I'm not sure exactly what the rationale was. I wonder if it's still like that?

 

[Bearybear]

I just don't get the whole thing about what gender couples attend. I mean, they aren't saying they are going to have sex at the prom, are they? 25 years ago, our prom only sold single tickets. Someone could buy a ticket for a date that didn't attend school, but you had to buy the tickets single. I attended with a big group of friends. I think there were 5 girls and 4 boys in my group.

I can see a Catholic school having this type of rule, but at a public school, this shouldn't be tolerated!

 

[Laura66]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

The while thing about the date having to be of the opposite sex is bad enough, but they can't even attend stag?

I know! Makes me SO mad!

 

[Kasmooth]

I know back in the day they were afraid single girls/guys would hit on the dates of others causing fights between the couples.

 

[TinkerBelled]

I never knew that some schools had this policy until a friend of my daughter's told us. She goes to a different school than DD and wanted to go to her own school's prom but didn't have a date. My daughter said that she would go with her (Dd's friend has accompanied DD to some of her own dances since her friend knew a lot of the kids from attending middle school with them). DDs friend said that she can only bring a guy and that she isn't even allowed to come alone. Friend said that if kids want to go but don't have a date, they just find someone of the opposite sex and lie to the school about being their date (I believe they have to sign something with the date's name on it or something). Not sure how they handle things at the door.

Besides the presumable intent to squash same-sex gay couples at the prom (this is only my assumption), what other reason could there be to deny a student to attend a prom alone or with a group of same sex friends?

My daughter hasn't started dating yet and plans to attend her own prom with a group of her own female friends. I'm glad that DDs school doesn't have that policy.

Out of curiosity, is this a public school or a private school?

 

[LongLiveDisney]

What a ridiculous rule. I know so many people who went to prom without a date, just with friends. Unbelievable.

 

[disney212]

I had dates to the proms I went to but most of the time ended up dancing (slow and fast) with my BFF's while the guys stood and talked since they didn't want to dance. Lots of the girls at all the proms I attended danced together for the same reason.

 

[shoney]

jlewisinsyr[/B];47859961]There really isn't another reason! If I were the friend, this would be a case where I would intentionally manipulate the system to bring light to the issue with the rule.

To do so, I'd find a lesbian couple and swap "dates" for registration purposes, contact the media and then let all hell break lose when they deny entry or cause a problem at the dance when I started dancing with my partner!

Love it!

It would also be very funny if all the kids grabbed a same sex partner for the first slow dance of the evening! I would encourage my kids to do it, if they ever found themselves in the unfortunate situation!!! Let's hope not!!!!!

Seriously, it is quite sad that something like this could even exist in 2013.

sorry...somehow I messed up the quote!!!!!

 

[maelstrom]

The attitude against gay people in some areas of this country, even in HIGH SCHOOL fercrissake, absolutely disgusts me. And on top of that, you can't even go stag? WTH.

 

[Robbi]

Stupid rule-The lesbians should ask gay guys and vice versa.
Or
straight girls ask gay guys
or
straight guys ask lesbians

 

[pearlieq]

That is ridiculous. I'm surprised there hasn't been more of an uproar among the students or in the community. I would have protested the heck out of a rule like that.

At my large public school in suburban Chicago in the mid-90s, it was probably about 50/50 between students who went with a date and ones who went with a group of friends.

It's so terrible that students can't get to enjoy this event just because they don't have a date (which could be for a million reasons, one of the least common being that they are gay).

You'd think a community that was that conservative would welcome the idea of students attending stag--so much less worrying about walking around reminding couples to leave room for the holy ghost!

 

[Callie]

Dumb!
My dates to dances were always my best friend or my sister. Guys = drama and stress!

 

[disykat]

I don't see it as an anti-gay thing, but rather an antiquated rule. My guess is that rule has been on the books for a long time. I graduated in the 70's and you had to have a date to go to Prom, period. (I didn't get asked, so I didn't go, no big deal. I think it's nice that many go as singles now, but it just wasn't done "in my day" and it wasn't the end of the world.) It was very uncommon to be "out" as a gay person in high school at that time. Date meant boy/girl. It wouldn't have occurred to us the rule was anything but about a no singles rule.

I don't know anyone in my generation that had much more than a feeling that they were gay until after high school. They waited to explore those feelings until they were out on their own, or they did so quietly so no one knew about it. I don't know anyone who would have wanted to go to prom as a gay couple at that time.

 

[Robbi]

I don't see it as an anti-gay thing, but rather an antiquated rule. My guess is that rule has been on the books for a long time. I graduated in the 70's and you had to have a date to go to Prom, period. (I didn't get asked, so I didn't go, no big deal. I think it's nice that many go as singles now, but it just wasn't done "in my day" and it wasn't the end of the world.) It was very uncommon to be "out" as a gay person in high school at that time. Date meant boy/girl. It wouldn't have occurred to us the rule was anything but about a no singles rule.

I don't know anyone in my generation that had much more than a feeling that they were gay until after high school. They waited to explore those feelings until they were out on their own, or they did so quietly so no one knew about it. I don't know anyone who would have wanted to go to prom as a gay couple at that time.

I graduated in the 70s too. We could get single tickets. The gay/lesbian people came to prom and we all had a great time. This was in a very small, very Catholic south Louisiana area. Laissez le bon temps rouler!

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

My school had a very restrictive prom policy. It was a Catholic school.
-- Tickets were only sold to boy-girl couples. You had to put your name and your date's name on the ticket when you bought it. Singles were not allowed to purchase tickets (couldn't buy a ticket with a friend, nor could you buy a couples ticket and leave the date's name blank.)
-- Only juniors and seniors could attend. (Your date also had to be a junior or a senior. If you were a junior dating a sophomore, too bad. They can't attend. If you're a senior dating someone who graduated the previous year, they can't attend either.)
-- If your date was from another school, you had to "register" them with the office and they had to be "approved." And they had to show ID at the door.

To top it off, our class had substantially more girls than boys, so a lot of girls had to look outside the school if they wanted to go at all. I didn't end up going to the junior prom because I didn't have a date. I found a date outside the school for the senior prom because I wanted to go. A friend had a date, but her date ended up being sick. The administration turned her away at the door because she didn't come with her date -- and she couldn't even have brought another guy because guy #1's name was on the ticket.

It was really pretty silly. This was back in 89/90, so I'm not sure exactly what the rationale was. I wonder if it's still like that?

At our school, one person had to be a junior or a senior, but you could bring a date who was older or younger. I was in the same grade with a girl who started dating a junior when she was a freshman. The both ended up going to four proms in a row: first his junior and senior prom and then her's.

What a ridiculous rule. I know so many people who went to prom without a date, just with friends. Unbelievable.

Right? My senior year, I had planned to go with 4 of my closest friends. All but two of us ended up with dates when it was actually time to go, but there were a lot of people who went as groups. Truth be told, I think that they had more fun than the couples. You never found one of the group in the bathroom crying because another of the group was dancing with someone else.


I honestly don't understand why they would only sell them to opposite sex couples. I don't know if it is to try and stop homosexuals from coming or some antiquated thought that only couples should be at the prom or what. I just think it's dumb. I'd be likely to start asking if they were just trying to up the number of pregnant teenagers at their school in hopes of increasing their federal funding. Really stir that pot.