Prom - You can't come unless you have a date of the opposite sex

[Liberty Belle]

I don't see it as an anti-gay thing, but rather an antiquated rule. My guess is that rule has been on the books for a long time. I graduated in the 70's and you had to have a date to go to Prom, period. (I didn't get asked, so I didn't go, no big deal. I think it's nice that many go as singles now, but it just wasn't done "in my day" and it wasn't the end of the world.) It was very uncommon to be "out" as a gay person in high school at that time. Date meant boy/girl. It wouldn't have occurred to us the rule was anything but about a no singles rule.

I don't know anyone in my generation that had much more than a feeling that they were gay until after high school. They waited to explore those feelings until they were out on their own, or they did so quietly so no one knew about it. I don't know anyone who would have wanted to go to prom as a gay couple at that time.

Oh, I bet they knew. They just weren't able to tell anyone or be open about it. I mean, come on, I knew pretty early on that I liked guys.

 

[Disney Hot Mama]

I am so glad the high school my kids attend is more liberal. Seniors can attend the prom with a date of the opposite sex, the same sex date ( gay and lesbians are fully accepted there) or stag or with a group of friends. The only restriction is if the date does not attend the school special permission is obtained prior to purchasing the ticket.

 

[StephMK]

Wow, sad that there are still so many schools with such restrictions. DD went with a group of 15 and only 3 couples in that group. She knows a few openly gay classmates and they had no issues attending but I don't think they had dates to bring. Not that they couldn't as far as I know. I would hope that wouldn't make a difference.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Oh, I bet they knew. They just weren't able to tell anyone or be open about it. I mean, come on, I knew pretty early on that I liked guys.

I think there were a lot of people who tried to fight it as long as they could then. I have a 51 year old cousin (she was prom queen, oddly enough) and a 48 year old formerly married friend who have both come out just in the past 10 years.

 

[Colleen27]

My school didn't. I went to my junior prom with a single friend because she was going to skip it for lack of a date (she was a senior and had already skipped her junior prom). I got all dolled up, typical prom-style, she rented a tux complete with bow-tie and cummerbund but paired it with a black skirt instead of the pants, and we had a great time. Much more fun than my senior prom, which I attended with my then-boyfriend who turned out to be the worst date ever!

My girls go to a Catholic elem and I know the affiliated high school is stricter about it - couples have to be boy-girl and dates from other schools have to register and show a school ID from their own school - but even they don't prohibit singles from attending.

 

[NY Disney fan]

I did not go to my prom for similar reasons. I went to an all-girl high school and I wanted to go the prom with my girl friends/classmates and my mom said no. I had to go with a boy or else. I did have a boyfriend at the time but he was 21 and "so over" the prom. He did not want to take me. So I missed it.

 

[WDWJDS]

Out of curiosity, is this a public school or a private school?

DDs friend attends a Catholic school.

 

[SpartanMommy]

Wow, that is ridiculous! I went to many school dances without a date because it was just more fun with friends.

So, if someone can't find a date they can't go?! I think this is unfair.

 

[disykat]

Oh, I bet they knew. They just weren't able to tell anyone or be open about it. I mean, come on, I knew pretty early on that I liked guys.

Isn't that what I said? They knew, but they hadn't openly explored it.

 

[rigs32]

My mom effectively imposed that rule on me. She refused to buy me a dress unless I had a date. As if I enjoyed being a smart nerdy kid rather than the popular girl she had been. That rule can only tell late blooming kids they just aren't worthy.

 

[Robbi]

My mom effectively imposed that rule on me. She refused to buy me a dress unless I had a date. As if I enjoyed being a smart nerdy kid rather than the popular girl she had been. That rule can only tell late blooming kids they just aren't worthy.

That's sad. I'm sorry.

 

[NotUrsula]

My high school also had that rule, though back then no one thought to specify that your date had to be of the opposite sex. It wasn't possible to purchase single tickets; the committee sold "invitations" that admitted two people.

The reasoning at my school was that guys who came without dates would probably hit on girls who did have dates, and their dates might take exception to that; the rule was supposedly designed to help prevent fights from breaking out. Of course, our proms had an open bar, so the idea wasn't that far out of the realm of possibility. (Yes, it was THAT long ago, and state law at the time allowed minors under 18 to drink if the alcohol was provided by the host of a private party. The only way that that was legal was by providing a "free" open bar -- you could not SELL drinks to minors, but you could give them away.)

 

[VickiVM]

DDs friend attends a Catholic school.

Well, there you go. May be outdated, close-minded, etc., but when you attend a religious school, you can't complain when they impose rules on the students. As long as it's not illegal, then they can apply just about any sort of parameters they want.

 

[MikkiMom]

My mom effectively imposed that rule on me. She refused to buy me a dress unless I had a date. As if I enjoyed being a smart nerdy kid rather than the popular girl she had been. That rule can only tell late blooming kids they just aren't worthy.

Interesting. My mom encouraged me to go with a group of friends, male and female. She didn't want me to stay at home just because I didn't have a date. Alot of groups went together as non-couples.

MikkiMom

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Well, there you go. May be outdated, close-minded, etc., but when you attend a religious school, you can't complain when they impose rules on the students. As long as it's not illegal, then they can apply just about any sort of parameters they want.

Yup.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Isn't that what I said? They knew, but they hadn't openly explored it.

When you said I don't think they had much more than a feeling, it sounded to me as if they didn't know - just kind of thought "maybe". Not that they knew, but hadn't "consumated" it.

 

[pearlieq]

Well, there you go. May be outdated, close-minded, etc., but when you attend a religious school, you can't complain when they impose rules on the students. As long as it's not illegal, then they can apply just about any sort of parameters they want.

Yes and no. They have the "right" to set their own policy, but they also certainly have the ability (and, arguably, the responsibility) to evolve.

10 years ago my church didn't fully accept gay members. 60 years ago women didn't have full rights. 150 years ago non-white people weren't welcome. We move forward and we grow.

Parents and students in that school can definitely make their wishes known and ask for the policy to be updated. Why wouldn't they?

 

[marcyinPA]

Is this "rule" even legal??? This is a battle I would totally fight for my kid.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Is this "rule" even legal??? This is a battle I would totally fight for my kid.

Private Catholic school. Of course it's legal. If it were an issue for your kid, your kid wouldn't be in that school. I would dare say some parents choose schools such as this BECAUSE of rules like this.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Yes and no. They have the "right" to set their own policy, but they also certainly have the ability (and, arguably, the responsibility) to evolve.

10 years ago my church didn't fully accept gay members. 60 years ago women didn't have full rights. 150 years ago non-white people weren't welcome. We move forward and we grow.

Parents and students in that school can definitely make their wishes known and ask for the policy to be updated. Why wouldn't they?

Heck, it was less than 20 years ago Baylor University in Waco, TX started allowing dancing on campus with any partner.

To Baptists, dancing was as sinful as sex--if not worse. As one old joke put it: The reason Baptists don't make love standing up is because it might lead to dancing.