Problems with Family and DVC

[Figaro30]

Okay, we have bought into DVCabout a year ago with our first trip planned in November with my parents. In 2003 we are supposed to take my husband's brother's family and in 2005 we are supposed to take my sisters family. Sounds easy right??


WRONG!!!! This year's trip is all planned and fine. But now we are thinking of throwing in another trip in 2002 with the 2003 tripbeing my husband's brother's family (we'll call him Chris). The problem is that I gave Chris guidelines as to when we would be able to take them. Anytime between September through February. These guidelines are falling because of the lower point seasons and also low temperature and low crowds. I told my DH I refuse to go when it's hot or crowded. Now Chris tells my DH that he doesn't want to take the kids 4 & 6 out of school. He wants to go in March (Spring break)!!! Me and DH had a huge fight last night about going in March. I said I wasn't about to go, he said that we needed to bend for his family. I thought giving them 6 months of time to choose from WAS BENDING!!!

I personally don't think it's a huge thing to take the kids out of school for 5 days. What will they miss, 3 days of finger painting and 2 days of story telling??? I told my husband that it is their choice if they decide not to take their children out of school instead of bringing them to WDW with a free place to stay for a week and that there was nothing more that we can do.

PS i haven't heard back from Chris yet as too what they have decided. I also told my husband that if DVC turned into a fight every time we wanted to be generous and bring somebody I would just turn around a sell it. I want no part of anything that is going to turn the happiest thing in the world to me into a nightmare.


What do you guys think about this. Am I wrong to think that we bought this mainly for us. That it's just an extra perk that we would be able to bring people with us and not the main reason for owning it?

 

[WDWMom]

I agree with you. If they want to take advantage of free acommodations, then they should go when you go. They should not dictate when you want to take your vacation. Let them go in March, but they will have to pay. We take our kids out of school every year for 5 days. This year they are in K, 1st and 5th. No problems. They keep up with there work, have few sick days and teachers do not mind.

I think your in-laws need to learn some manners. When you are invited somewhere, you must work with your host. Not demand another time.

Sounds like my in-laws. Stick to your guns and I hope all works out OK.

 

[maureenmac]

When we took our nieces with us one Jan., we didn't give my sister a choice of dates. We said we are going from and to would you like to have them go with us? My sister is a teacher and could not take off and to be truthful she did not want to go, she decided one week without her 2 teenagers wouldn't be all bad. The girls missed school for a few days and they are in high school. People should be pleased with an offer for a free place to stay, especially with WDW prices. I find that some people don't look at WDW the same as DVC members, therefore what you offer them isn't as important to them as it is to us. With all that has happened in this country and the horror that took place, your husband's family should be glad your are able to make such an offer. Family and loved ones should be cherished and by sharing your DVC stays with your families, that's what you are doing. If doing this causes you and your husband to fight, then IMHO it is not worth it.

 

[robinb]

What do you guys think about this. Am I wrong to think that we bought this mainly for us. That it's just an extra perk that we would be able to bring people with us and not the main reason for owning it?

Nope. There is nothing wrong with that . Unfortunately, you have already planned to share your vacation home with your family and you're stuck. I know it's frustrating to have someone else dictate the use of your condo! BTDT! Bit my nails to the quick.

FWIW, I agree with you about taking kids out of school. But that's a very touchy subject for a lot of people. I think that for the general peace of the family gatherings and your vacation with your BIL you will have to respect his wishes about school. You'll have to bite the bullet and go when it's (1) hot or (2) crowded or (3) both . I would personally choose either March during spring break (save points by only staying 5 nights) or in late May right after the kids get out of school (avoiding the first weekend in June).

Good luck!

 

[Jenn]

Been there too! We decided to bring along 8 of my husband's family members to Vero and the same thing happened. They wanted to go in March - highest points - and we got the Beach Cottage - we actually paid 78 points per night for the trip. We had a great time and everyone loved the cottage but never again. We made it very clear that we would love to be able to spring for the accomodations again but it won't be in a peak month and unfortunatley probably won't be in a beach cottage or grand villa.

You are paying for this so you are gonna have to set the guidelines. Explain how the point system works and what months you are able to go. One other selling point - airfares are cheaper in non peak months. We paid $280 per person in March and the exact same flights are $109 from August through November.

 

[DanG]

Its not clear from your post what the agreement is with your inlaws (and not relevant either). If it doesn't cause you any great hardship, have you considered letting them go when they want, using a set number of points. If they get fewer days because they choose to go during Spring Break, that would be their issue. The flexibility of our point system is custom made for this type of problem.

Now, if the problem was you were supposed to/wanted to travel together, that's a whole different and stickier problem. I'd cut them loose though, since if you trip together during either set of dates, someone is going to resent the otehr. And you are right that it just isn't worth the hassle.

DanG

 

[Figaro30]

Unfortunately for me it was an agreement to have them come along with us. My DH wants to be able to take his two nephews with us. And so do I. It would be nice to see them experience WDW for the first time.

I already told my husband that he can take them himself in March because there was no way I was going. (of course I was being sarcastic and just a tad bit snotty)

DH is supposed to call them today so I can find out what the deal is. I'll let you guys know what happens.

By the way, thanks everybody for lending an ear to this issue.

 

[mikesmom]

I think you're being plenty flexible. Chris (with a little planning effort) could take you up on your offer and not take the kids out of school.

Anytime between September and February? At the elementary school level? There will be long weekends at Thanksgiving and MLK birthday. There will be at least a 2 week window at Christmas (Christmas week is crowded but if you shoot for early in the break or after New Years, you'll be fine). New Years Day in 2002 is on a Tuesday, most schools are out the rest of that week. I'd bet some amount of money that there will be at LEAST 2 days in there somewhere for teacher meetings or what they call "Professional Education Day" (time for teachers to go to seminars). In many districts they slap those on the end of an already long weekend to make a 5 or 6 day holiday.

You might not be able to give Chris' family an extended 8 or 10 day vacation, but I'd bet 4 or 5 days at WDW would be very doable with a little planning. And if you want a 10 day vacation? Do what I am doing next May - we're going down earlier and picking up the rest of the family at the airport when they arrive.

 

[chris1gill]

OMG!! Are you serious? The way it goes is this... You look at your calendar & you pick the time YOU want to go... You tell whoever you're inviting when you are going, and ask if they are interested in going!! You don't let them plan it!!

Maybe I'm just awful, but I bought DVC, I paid for it, and I'm going to use it WHEN and WHERE I want!!! If the friends and family want to tag along, and I'm so inclinded, I'll invite them! Otherwise, they can pay for it themselves....

His oldest is 6 & he's worried about pulling them out? Hmm I wouldn't be so worried....

 

[dianeschlicht]

WE had a large group for a GV 2 years ago. Because this was our treat to them, we explained that we could only use a set number of points, so it would have to be a week in January, February, September, October or first half of December. They chose the New Year so the children did not have to miss many days of school. I think they only missed 3 days, not a big deal for the lower elementary grades. High schoolers have a different story since they miss a lot when they miss a few days.

Our next trip with this same group will be in October of 2004. We have chosen this time because the schools in Minnesota have a teacher's union break and many districts also schedule extra in-service days for the teachers. Most schools have either the whole week off or at least Wed, Thurs, and Friday off. That way the kids only miss two days of school.

We also invited in-laws along last year. THey did not want to miss schoool either, but it turned out their son only missed 1/2 day, so not a problem.

The point is, I think you can work this out by looking at their school schedule a little closer. At the worst, they would have only a long weekend with you in WDW, but you could still take your whole trip!

 

[Figaro30]

Chris....EXACTLY how I feel.

The other thing I didn't go into was the other trip I was trying to sneak in between 2001 and 2003. I wanted to go down for 4 nights and stay concierge at Poly sometime around 11/02. This as everybody knows takes a lot of points for just 4 nights. With this plan, we would definitely NOT be able to do March or a busy time and would NOT have enough points for BOTH of these trips. So either I bend and go in March and discard the idea of a Poly concierge trip.....or I keep the Poly concierge trip and make them sway to my liking. This is one reason I got so upset. This would mean rearranging and CANCELING our stay with our well spent money on the DVC that WE OWN for somebody else. That makes me angry!!!

This is definitely NOT why I bought this. While it's nice and special to be able to take people with me....it's not the main idea of owning this DVC. Call me mean but that's how I feel.

 

[Beachangel]

I'm single & I bought DVC for the sole purpose of inviting my sisters and their families. The easiest time for me to vacation the last few years is at the end of August. I called my sisters the other day and said I'm going, if you're in you're in, if not I'm asking friends. Today I made a reservation for 10 days in a 2 BR at the Boardwalk. They're all in! Guests don't decide when they'd like to go...you've already been super flexible giving them a 6 month window.

 

[MiknMinMouse]

We bought our points so that we could have a stay at the GF, that has yet to happen because we always take people with us . While it's fun it does have it's drawbacks but we've made it work for us. Last year we had such a large group that we required one 2 bedroom and one studio. We only have 204 points (and now am I realizing how little that is, wish our CM would have talked us into more) so we have to use them carefully. Our solution was to stay at ASMO for the first 4 days with everyone paying their own way then move to the Boardwalk for the last half. It worked well, although I hated moving. This year we only have grandparents going with us. We originally were going to stay at the Contemporary and have GP's pay for their own room but really like the hominess of BWV.

You are the one paying so you guys should make the decision. They have to understand that it does cost you guys to go and points are money. We've been fortunate with everyone who's gone with us (this will be our 3rd year) we tell them when we can go and they either go or don't . So far no one has turned us down And speaking from experience, with my hubby's family (not m&d-in law) who we took a couple of years ago, people really don't always appreciate just what they're getting when we take them to WDW, so why stress over what they will or won't do. Chances are they couldn't go to such a nice place without you so let them figure out how to work into your plans. Sorry for rambling ;-)

 

[RAD]

We're planning a big family get together for 10/2002 getting two 2BR's and three studios. Of course it would be nice to pick a time of year where kids wouldn't be taken out of school, but then we couldn't get the number of rooms that we'll need. When DS was growing up we took him out of school a number of times for a WDW trip and never had a problem, just made sure that he got work assignments to do while we were gone. Now if some of the folks can't make the gathering because of kids that's their decision and we're not going to feel bad because of it.

 

[TinkerbellRules]

HUGE deal at our schools! This year, they have implemented a penalty policy for unexcused absences (vacation are UNexcused). My 4th grader will be penaltized 1% per day per subject off her 9 wks grade. Not really a big deal for a 4th grader, but middle and high school students get 2% off! We recently changed our plans and are going in 2wks over fall break/parent teacher conferences, missing 1 full and 2 half days.

6 yr old... they won't miss a darned thing! We've taking our DD out since kindergarten without a problem (until this year). We've picked dates that already have some type of school break. Next year, they have split up fall break and parent-teacher conferences (3 hr days) so that people won't do exactly what we're doing this year and have the past 2 yrs. I wasn't planning on taking her out after 4th grade anyway.

I've gone in March and didn't think it was that bad, but I prefer Oct. Good luck on your plans.

 

[GrammieMame]

You are right in thinking that you should be able to set the schedule when you invite others. But I will say that we always go on my grandkids spring break, which is the last week in March. Except when it falls into Easter week, it's not a problem with respect to heat (which I HATE) or crowds. The weather is very pleasant and we have always found the crowds to be manageable - no long waits if you plan carefully. Good luck.

 

[ripleysmom]

Figaro, how about if you figure out how many points it would have been to stay in the room that you wanted in the lower point range. Commit those points to staying in March as many nights as you can and book the rest of the nights for cash.

This might accomplish 2 things. One is to make you in-laws realize how very expensive these accommodations can be without DVC. Or wake your hubby up to how much it will cost extra.

Or an even better idea is to just buy some add-on points!!!

 

[Granny]

Figaro30,

This is a tough one. My first impulse was to agree with those that say that you bought the membership, so you should call the shots.

On the other hand, it's easy to dispense advice when you don't have to live with it. This sounds like it could be something that gets you and your DH sideways, and when it comes to family, these things don't always heal quickly.

My advice would be to talk to your DH and make sure he understands why you think the request is unreasonable. But you might also want to consider bending this one time. It sounds like this will be the first time for the two nephews to experience WDW and they are at such great ages for that. Also, many schools are cracking down on the unexcused absences (my DD's school is). Maybe make it clear that this is a "one time" thing and you expect that you and your DH will decide on future vacation timing and who is invited.

How about going in the summer and making their reservations a cash ressie? If they object to paying that, then it would seem that going for free is more important than going as a family.

Believe me, I feel EXACTLY the way you do. But there may be more at stake here than one or two trips. You've got 40 more years of membership to enjoy DVC. Straighten out the long term ground rules with your DH. Otherwise, you may be finding yourself in this discussion many times in the future. DVC membership should be about the joys of quality vacationing. If it comes to mean something else to you, you will have to decide if it's worth it.

Best wishes on resolving this issue in way that everyone can live with.

 

[Lesley]

Hmmm....I don't know what I would do besides telling them that March just isn't an option. And I know how you're feeling on this one as I'd love to take my dd to WDW for her birthday sometime, but that would really cut back on the amount of time we could stay! My ds seems to be the only one who will get a birthday trip as he's in Jan!

Fwiw, my plan on dealing with family is to just pick dates and if they want to come they'll figure out how to make it work. Of course we won't be taking anyone who has kids and we homeschool so the school schedules are not an issue for us. Our first trip with family will be Dec. 2002.

 

[TrudyZ]

I must agree that I would be very angry after I had spent all that money on a timeshare now only to be told when I could use it. And, I think that it is not fair that you would have to give up your get-away vacation so your in-laws can get what they want.

(Now you know how people who have hit the lotto feel when the families come for "their share"--it's never enough!)

And remember, if you bend for your BIL, it will only be fair to do the same when your sister wants to go in 2005. And, if your BIL's kids can't miss school in his eyes at 4 and 6; they won't be able to miss when they are 10 and 12 either.

It appears that you are trying to be very flexible with your BIL, and he is taking advantage of your generousity.

And, I also agree--Florida in the summer can be downright miserable--we too will only go from October 1st thru May 1st.

But, their has got to be a way to settle this without causing a brawl!

I myself would be very direct and blunt (tact optional on my part). But, that may not work with you-- so here is my diplomatic response:

I would propose two things to your BIl and let him chose:

1. Go in the timeframe originally intended. Carefully look over the school schedule to minimize days off.

2. Propose that you will go in March. However, you do not have enough points to cover the reservation because it is premium season. Tell him you are willing to use the amount of points you were originally going to use, and have your BIL rent points off these boards to make up the difference (link the 2 ressies). This way, he gets to go when he wants; you still will have enough points to do what you want; and if he is serious about only going in March, I think he could "put his money where his mouth is" for the point differential. By just renting the points needed to cover the Season difference, he will quickly learn how valuable the points are. If he balks, tell him that you are still putting up the majority of the points!!

And, remember, You don't your owe him an explantion on why you don't have more points (for you getaway vacation)--that is none of his business. Heck, you made the investment and pay the dues, I think that you should get some time to enjoy it yourselves!!

If he doesn't like it, give him the name of your CM and nicely inform him that maybe he should look into owning his own piece of the magic!

Trudy