PrincessAuroras Weird and Freaky Trip Report - Final Installment

[tink38]

Yep. You cover your tongue with peanut butter. Hold it in your mouth for a bit. To warm it up. And mix it with drool. Basically... to thin the consistancy at little. Then you walk up to your unsuspecting victim and lick them from chin to forehead... forcing as much Peanut Butter into their nostrils as possible.

From the twisted mind of an evil genius. Heh, heh. Hope you weren't eating or anything. Sorry. Love ya, Mel!

Okay, thanks for that. Really. I just spit all over my computer.

Monique

 

[PrincessAurora]

Yep. You cover your tongue with peanut butter. Hold it in your mouth for a bit. To warm it up. And mix it with drool. Basically... to thin the consistancy at little. Then you walk up to your unsuspecting victim and lick them from chin to forehead... forcing as much Peanut Butter into their nostrils as possible.

From the twisted mind of an evil genius. Heh, heh. Hope you weren't eating or anything. Sorry. Love ya, Mel!

o
my
god

I was in fact drinking some Framboise Lambec, a nice sparkling raspberry beer that near came out my nose. Gee, those sparkles are sure like scrubbing bubbles.

 

[javamom]

o
my
god

I was in fact drinking some Framboise Lambec, a nice sparkling raspberry beer that near came out my nose. Gee, those sparkles are sure like scrubbing bubbles.

OMG, that is the only beer that I can still drink. Well, that and Corona (but that is just for "old and weird bottle trick times" sake). I drank way too much of just about everything imaginable in my 20's, and now can only drink but a few things in great moderation, or my stomach just turns. But I LOVE lambics. YUMMM!

 

[melk]

Grumpy is 42???? Can we have some pics, please? I've been picturing him as a pouty early twenty-something in baggy clothes and a backwards baseball hat. This is actually an adult, lol?????

 

[Linzybrooke]

Grumpy is 42???? Can we have some pics, please? I've been picturing him as a pouty early twenty-something in baggy clothes and a backwards baseball hat. This is actually an adult, lol?????

DITTO! I'm picturing him as a frat boy with a major Peter Pan complex. The fact that he is 42 is a little bit scary!

 

[em'smom]

I can't believe that I didn't see you at the wilderness lodge! I was there feb 5 to 12 and probably walked past you a few times. I even had my lime green mickey head on my backpack.
I don't know how you sat on the dock watching the water parade that night, it was chilly every evening. I think we had the same cast member that you mentioned at the Narnia experience in MGM.
I am enjoying your trip report and agree that you should post a few pictures. Thanks for writing about your adventures.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Well perhaps we will run into each other next time. There were times whn Grumpy would get difficult that I kinda "zoned" and wasn't as dilligent in looking for lime green ribbons as I should have been.

Yup it was cold out there. It was colder half naked and soaking wet. I think it helped that I was still drunk. It acted as antifreeze

 

[PrincessAurora]

Hey everyone - went to the wine country yesterday - the Sonoma side. It was the annual barrel tasting so for FIVE dollars american money, you buy a glass and take it to ALL of the small wineries participating. All these drinks for FIVE dollars.

I am also a wine geek so let me geek out a bit here - for those that dont know barrel tasting is different than regular wine tasting. This is wine that is still in process, maybe only in the barrels for a few months. Some are just plain nasty but give you an idea of the process and how things will progress over time.

I found a FABULOUS new little vineyard called Fritz. They only do 5,000 cases a year but it is really good quality. I joined their wine club and I only belong to one other - which is Coppola. So I think highly of their wine AND I went by Silver Oak and nabbed two bottles there as well.

I usually only go up the Napa Valley side and had never been to Sonoma before. I went with a cool guy named John and I told him all about the Grumpy trip. He knows him. He promises not to invite him on any extended wine tours.

OK, since I couldn't write yesterday I am finishing the last part of day 3 and working on day 4. I will put up what I have so far and put up the rest of day three in a few hours. I do have some more pictures coming and I will try to find one of Grumpy - just don't tell him.

Japan is the land of serene, lovely people, living in a floating world of sushi and geisha and anime and sake and pearls and did I mention sushi? I love sushi. I eat the sushi that most nelly little white girls that look like me would run from. If I was rich, I would hire a Japanese chef and all I would eat is Japanese food. I even eat things that are still moving. Now before you say Eeewwwwwwwwwww I’ll bet that some of you have eaten live things and didn’t even know it.

Case in point, raw oysters. They are alive. There they are in their tight little shell until someone pries it open, dumps some mignonette sauce on them and gulp – down the hatch. I love raw shucked oysters. I could eat a pot of those things and if this isn’t proof enough of live food consumption, Disney glorified this as well, in Alice in Wonderland. Remember the tale of the Walrus and the Carpenter and how they ate all of those foolish little oysters. Yup, kaloo kalay “no soup for you” today.

In front of the large store, there was a woman working with what looked like colored modeling chocolate. She would take requests and transform those colored blobs into animals. It was amazing. She made 2 unicorns, 1 alligator, and 1 porcupine while I was watching and it was FREE! I try to lure Tink and Grumpy over to watch but Tink is taking Grumpy on a little walk around the coi pond. As they are walking away I hear “Honey, look at these cool fish. You like coi.” “Those dogs suck!”

Now there is a down side to the animal lady. She only has so many hands and so much time. Once she reaches her limit, she cuts you off until the next show. I know that is hard on some kids who see other kids with a pretty pink unicorn and want one but here is what I say. “It’s good to want. It builds character.” Well one little girl didn’t get the memo.

She wants a candy unicorn and she wants one NOW! Her mother tells her they are all out of candy. She wants one NOW! I am really tempted to sic her on Grumpy because I see them coming back and I know how good he is with kids. Not. Well, there was that one weird kid at MGM but I think that was just an anomaly.

The harried looking mom drags her whiney daughter off and Tink & I head into the store for some shopping. Grumpy disappears. JOY! We get a few minutes of non-licking, poking peace. As I look for gifts for my niece and nephew, Tink starts squealing about the cat bus. You heard me right, the cat bus. It is a cat shaped like a bus. It is from a movie called “My Neighbor Totoro”.

Tink LOVES Japanese movies especially those directed by Legendary Japanese animator and director Hayao Miyazaki. His most famous movie over here is Spirited Away, that Disney released. He also did Howls Moving Castle, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Castle in the Sky, Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind and a few others. They are really first rate movies and I think everyone should rent them for their kids because they are TONS better than Power Rangers, Pokemon or YuGiYo or other brain rotting fare that hardly makes sense. These are ART.

Grumpy stomps through and wants to go now. We will be eating in France at 6pm and he wants to catch Off-Kilters Show before that. This is the best idea he’s had all trip.

We make a hasty retreat from Japan, blow through France and over to England. Tink and I stop in to the Rose & Crown Pub for a pint. SEE? I’m DRINKING! The nice bartended puts a shamrock into the foam on the top of my Guinness for luck. Well I need all the luck I can get.

We snag a seat and then everyone else takes a cue from us and starts grabbing seats as well. I take the opportunity to write in my trip journal, drink my beer and relax. Grumpy has fished out his pod casts to listen to before the show starts.

Now I must say that I am glad the Grumpy drug us to this show because it was GREAT! First you have guys in kilts which is always hot and their show was WONDERFUL! I can’t say enough. I thought this was a sign that the rest of the night would be smooth sailing.

Never take signs from Canada even if they are hot guys in kilts. As we are getting ready to head to France for dinner, I hear a discussion ensuring of Beavers vs. Bananas. HUH?

The first thing I think of is the long defunct Beaver tails but neither Tink nor Grumpy ever sampled them. It seems that Tink was talking about Canadian money and the beaver on the back on one of the coins. I guess she got it as change even though we can’t spend it though it may buy more than one of our nickels. Who knows.

Grumpy doesn’t understand why the beaver is there and thinks they should have bananas.

Say it with me – HUH?!

Now I may be ignorant of Canada, Canadians, what their country really looks like since the film “O Canada” is really outdated but I am 100% sure that bananas have NOTHING to do with their political, cultural or social climate.

Any Canadians aboot that care to chime in because I can not figure this out and chalk it up to the strange way Grumpy’s mind works. I don’t dare ask so I just keep my mouth shut.

 

[byoung]

Enjoying your reports.

 

[Shelby5514]

Love it!

 

[PrincessAurora]

Tink and I decide to check out some perfume before our dinner. Actually Tink is the perfume fiend and I tagged along. I knew the wave of scent would hold Grumpy at bay so I use it like a force field. She wants some Jicky by the House of Guerlain, which came out in 1889 and was populalized by a lesbian novelist in the 1880’s. She really, really wants it. I buy it for her as a belated Christmas present and on behalf of lesbian novelists everywhere. We met a lovely French girl that gave us little samples of Shalimar as well. Well we are all smelly in a French way for our French Dinner.

I had eaten lunch at Chefs de France a few years back and found it mediocre. When Tink wanted to eat in France I decided on Bistro de Paris. It was more upscale and I liked the menu better. However it is NOT on the dining plan. So I used my Disney card points to pay for 2/3 of the meal. I should have told Tink that France was full, gone to Le Cellier and saved my points to buy stylish designer sunglasses.

The restaurant and the atmosphere was lovely. We were seated at a window with a decent view of Illuminations. They had tableclothes and silverware and cute napkins folded like dinner jackets. There were a surprising number of kids in the place considering the price and the atmosphere. We were put down across from a party of 12 that included 2 small kids and a food throwing baby. Here is proof to all those mean people that tried to lecture me that they have NEVER seen babies throw food and that I was making it up. OK, snotty people – I have a ROOM full of witnesses for this screaming baby that was lobbing food with the accuracy of Sister Mary Margaret at my 3rd grade Parochial School.

We try to ignore the food fight going on behind us and concentrate on the food. We all have the chefs tasting menu. It was very pretty but very Bland. We also had a glass of red French wine with our entrees. I live by Napa. I know wines. I love wines. This wine sucked. It was soooo tanic that I could clean rust off my chrome bumper with it. French wine is really over rated. I can say with 100% accuracy that “Those Dogs Suck”!

Overall, our meal was bland and pedestrian. While the price for the offerings is good, the chef missed the boat. They could have been standout or even noteworthy but are just fine. What is wrong with FRANCE?! I am placing this in 10th place overall behind even Fultons. The chef needs to follow Chef Gray around for a month or so. This place really needs some help to make it great.

The waiters were attentive but aloof at the same time. Just like Paris so that was nice. We all gave a silent cheer when the baby left with the parents that did NOTHING. I still wont ever go back even if you gave me the food for free.

While the food was bland, there was a lot of it so we roll out of park, literally. I feel sooo bloated that I couldn’t have a mint even if it was wafer thin. I think we are the last people in the park. Tink tells me that Chefs still has people in it. Alright, we are in at last group. Everything is sooo quiet. It would be nice to just stroll but it is COLD and if we walk a bit faster we can work off some of this food AND get to the bus faster to warm up.

Grumpy grumps that we are walking too fast. Dude! You are over 6 ft tall, have a chest like a barrel and have a long stride. Don’t whine like a nancy girl that you can’t walk faster! Tink and I confer and think that his energy is escaping through his head (which is pretty much devoid of hair). We keep this to ourselves.

We start to zone on the bus. Grumpy wants to go to Pleasure Island and drink but Tink is with me. We have done enough for today, we are going to bed. If you want to go, catch the bus to Downtown Disney. He falls into pouty silence. When we get back to our rooms and….. were we robbed? The place is a mess. Upon further examination we determined, nope, no robbery. Maid service didn’t come. I call them, tell the front desk about this and to make sure this NEVER happens again. They want to know if they should send housekeeping up now? Ummmm, no. We are going to bed now just make sure this doesn’t happen anymore. When I’m in the loo, Tink takes the call from the Front Desk. They tell her that it was a computer error and they have corrected it. Well I can always use the tip I put out for tomorrow.

Tink goes for her Animal Crossing handheld while Grumpy reads. Tink comes over to show me her little girl going to get some tea. It seems this character asks her if she wants the “pigeon milk blend” and that its sweet. O Kay. How do you milk a pigeon? I should really stop expecting that game to be logical. She now has the squirell back in her house and it wont leave until she gives it something but it doesn’t like anything she offers it. I tell her to just kill the squirell and use it for a rug. She says it is not that kind of game.

Damn.

I notice another round of poking but I just ignore it. I’m tired and we have the character breakfast Grumpy requested tomorrow at Ohanas.

NEXT: Ohanas and Tink & my GREAT ESCAPE

 

[melk]

I try to lure Tink and Grumpy over to watch but Tink is taking Grumpy on a little walk around the coi pond. As they are walking away I hear “Honey, look at these cool fish. You like coi.” “Those dogs suck!”

 

[Alysa]

Pretty sure bananas will not be replacing the beaver on the nickel any time soon. We also wo't be replacing the maple leaf with palm fronds or the moose with a tiger. Who is this guy???

 

[PrincessAurora]

Ensemble: Hand-painted Ariel sweatshirt that I did many moons ago, jeans, glasses, etc. etc.

Dawn Otter Patrol netted 6 ducks, 1 ripple, no otter. After getting ready, I went down in the lobby to write and started talking to this nice woman from Hawaii who was reading a British copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It was a nice moment, to get to know new people.

As I came back into the room I walk into the middle of a “you’re on my side of the room” fight. It seems that Tink was seated at the little table and she wasn’t making enough room for Grumpy. He wanted to walk by her but didn’t feel he had enough room to do so without squeezing. Instead of asking her if she could please move, he starts in with a rant about how she is occupying his space (meaning the space he wishes to inhabit but can’t because she is there). It just gets more and more confusing. I try to ignore it. Is this what it really means to be married because it is does then I’m going to be a nun and marry Jesus. He’s not around a lot and I just can’t picture him with the poking and the licking and the “these dogs suck” unless it has something to do with loan sharks in the local church.

We assemble the troops and head down to the boat dock. We are on our way to the Poly for the Ohanas breakfast. This one was Grumpys choice and he was the one that INSISTED on doing a character breakfast. We took the boat to the Contemporary, took the elevators in the scary toaster hotel to the monorail and rode that to the Poly. We missed the first train due to Grumpy not walking fast enough (no coffee yet) so had to wait 10 minutes for another train. I have no idea why the monorails were so slow.

We find Ohanas quickly and are given a buzzing disk. I have never been to any character breakfasts and didn't know what to expect. I thought that the luau theme of the Stitch Breakfast sounded fun.

I did a tiny bit of shopping while Tink and Grumpy sacked out on some chairs. Everyone was very quiet. I am thinking it is just the lack of coffee. We were seated pretty promptly but I thought the picture spot was LAME! They give you a ticket for your family to get a picture in front of, get this, tikis. Yup, tikis. Whee At Akershus, they at least had pictures with Ariel. Here there were no characters, just tikis. Lame. We passed.

Now just to reiterate, I have never been addicted to coffee. I will drink it on occasion but do not turn into a grumpy, sludge monster if I don't get coffee. Guess who needs coffee in our party? Yeah, Grumpy. All he can talk about nonstop now is the need for coffee and he needs it yesterday and intravenously. Yup, he needs to freebase some caffeine in the worst way.

Our server didn't get to our table fast enough for Grumpy. Yes, she was a little slow and is it just me but I really think most of these servers are the oldest servers in The World. Just an observation.

We are finally greeted, drink orders taken and then the coffee wait begins. O God, will it never end! PLESASE bring us coffee as I am dying here. Grumpy with no coffee is scary. He is just glowering which is almost as bad as when he “looms”.

The characters that day were Stitch, Lilo, Pluto and The Mouse himself! The whole HUGE head on Lilo was freaking me out. It was just sooo out of proportion that I’m surprised the kids didn’t start crying in horror. While I was making a note of this in my trip report book, Stitch snuck up behind me and scared me. Bad Stitch! I thought that the whole Stitch thing would annoy me but he was really fun to watch and play with. Grumpy didn't play much since he still needed coffee and Stitch is his favorite.

Now came the food (sorry, no pictures - too afraid Grumpy would hit me with a shovel or something). It is a big wok with the regulars - scrambled eggs (good but a little loose/wet so if wet eggs creep you out, they may need to cook them more), bacon (very good), sausage (didn't try but heard from Tink that they were a little spicy but good), Homefried Potatoes (didn't try but heard they were good), Mickey Waffles (not as warm as I would like but fun), bread basket with bisquits, cinnimon roll and PINEAPPLE BREAD! OH MY GOD! This stuff was sooooooooo good. I had them bring more and then I took it with me. I snacked on this all day. It is a soft yeasty roll type bread with crushed pineapple on the bottom. It's really good warm but just as yummy cold. A little sticky but I can deal.

The most important thing was they brought coffee for Grumpy and Tink. When Grumpy emptied is cup fairly quickly, they brought one of those big pitchers of coffee. I estimate it holds 8 cups.

Pluto came by and I thought that Grumpy would play with Pluto. Nope, not even a look. Pluto was very funny and he pretended to lick Grumpys head. Tink and I almost fell off our chairs. We didn’t tell Grumpy what Pluto was doing since we didn’t want Grumpy to neuter him with a butter knife. My favourite part of the meal was when I got to see the MOUSE! He was wearing his Hawaiian shirt with a lei. I told him that he is my fav and that I love him. He got all embarrassed. I swear I will mud wrestle Minnie for the Mouse. OK, I'm getting a little carried away and weird but it is early in the morning on the west coast. Mickey signed my book and that made my morning. Lilo never came by which was fine with me since I really don't care about her and her giganto head was scaring me. Its all about the Mouse anyway.

They did have a little parade with the kids through the place. They gave them maracas and they all trooped around shakin' their groove things. It was cute. The funny thing was watching the kids. There was one kid shaking "air maracas" and having a good time doing it, another just stomping along with his arms crossed like this was a chain gang and he wasn't ever getting parole and then the little girl that was all upset because her Mom was shaking her maraca for her. I feel for this girl. Mom - LEAVE HER ALONE! Jesus, what is WITH these parents. She wants to shake it her way. The parade is for the KIDS. Mom wanted harder shaking so she reaches over and is shaking it in her daughters hand. That is sooooooo NOT COOL! Parents, hear me out there? NOT COOL!!!! GET YOUR OWN PARADE AND LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE! Damn. OK, rant over.

Even after the coffee things were so quiet I thought I was eating with Monks under a vow of silence. I felt like a pig. It seems that I was the only one really eating. Tink ate a moderate amount, Grumpy didn't eat much. Well I just can’t figure out Grumpy. You do the math with me:
a) He is the one that insisted on having a character breakfast
b) He chose this particular one
c) He needed coffee
d) He was brought a container of coffee
e) He drank the ENTIRE THING and is still not happier

I am thinking WHY are we here if you won’t even enjoy it. Also a side note – I am PAYING for this so I am feeling, why are you wasting my money not enjoying this. O God, am I sounding like one of those obnoxious parents? I don’t think so. I think there is a difference between a parent yelling at a kid about how they are wasting their money and ruining the vacation. A seven year old can’t hold down a job, at least in this country so how are they suppose to help pay? With adults it’s a different story. I feel that if one person pays the only decent thing to do would be for the receiving party to be polite and gracious for that gift. Gracious was never one of the Seven Dwarfs.

Well this is our “free” day so we check out the resort. Tink and I want to look at the beach, check out the pool, the stores – all that jazz. Grumpy is just, ummm, you know. WHY do I even bother? It is too early to start drinking and I’m thinking that maybe Grumpy is just not use to all this exercise and is hitting the wall earlier than others. All I know is that if I drank 9 cups of coffee in a one hour period, I would be flying to the moon on my own power and then bazooka barfing in the nearest fishtank. I just don’t understand how he just isn’t perking up more. He has stopped talking about wanting coffee though he does mention that he could drink another one of those pitchers.

As we board the monorail, Tink wants to discuss what we want to do since we have nothing scheduled. She wants to go back to Animal Kingdom and just hang out, look at the architecture and have tea. Grumpy hates that idea. Those dogs suck. He hates Animal Kingdom, he hates looking at things. Tink asks him what he would like to do. He doesn’t know. Maybe go to Magic Kingdom. Well we are scheduled to go to Magic Kingdom tomorrow. Tink reaches into her purse, pulls out $40, hands it to Grumpy, says “Here is some money. We’ll meet you at that bar in MGM at 5:30 for Fantasmic. Have a nice day dear.” With a smile and a wave, Tink bailed with me at the Ticket and Transportation Center. We are FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEXT: AK, going to south africa, what DID Grumpy do all day

 

[lillygator]

glad you and Tink "got away" - and my vacation motto is...."it's never to early to drink", I mean you are on vacation right??!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

All I know is that if I drank 9 cups of coffee in a one hour period, I would be flying to the moon on my own power and then bazooka barfing in the nearest fishtank.

Ohmigod... it's too early in the morning to laugh my a** off this hard! Or is it? Too funny, Princess!!!!

 

[PrincessAurora]

glad you and Tink "got away" - and my vacation motto is...."it's never to early to drink", I mean you are on vacation right??!!

I should clarify that with "the place that sells the huge drinks in the pineapple isn't open so we are grounded for now".

 

[Credit Man]

Fantastic report! Thanks for posting.

 

[mickeymousemom]

Okay, I am finally back from our quick, impromptu trip to the World(that I told no one about) and HAD to come catch up on these reports! I am caught up, and should remain a happy camper for the rest of the day(though I am tap, tap, tapping for the next installment...and CANNOT wait to see what Grump man did all day...did he terrorize every CM within his territory?....did he drink himself into oblivion and end up at the Animal Kingdom's petting zoo?....Did he lick the bejeezus out of the goats there?...OR....did he just sit on a bench all day and whine because he had no one to lick and poke after all?)


Like sands through the hourglass.....

 

[disneymom3]

Aaahh, you can't leave us hanging!! I am dying to know what on earth Grumpy did with himself--though I have a hard time believing you will get him to talk enough to find out!!

This is like a very addictive soap opera!