PrincessAuroras Weird and Freaky Trip Report - Final Installment

[PrincessAurora]

Star Trek II -- The Wrath of Kahn. But just to show my geekiness further, it was actually Seti Alpha VI (Seti Alpha V blew up and altered the orbit of Seti Alpha VI). Good lord, I am the biggest geek.

You sooo are and you rule!

I love Ricardo Montalban and his chest.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Okay, now I am from CA, now reside--for 18 years in MN--and all you Californians with your "He was like this and then, like I did like that." are the ones speaking a different language.

And, hey, not only did I learn today that I speak another foreign language (Do you think I can add that to my resume??) but I also got the Star Trek reference. I lead such an exciting life....

Love the report!

To Disneymom3 and Amburger:

I agree like you are just, you know. Omigod, it was like just so weird with like the olympics and the aboot and stuff and I was like omigod do you like understand what they are saying?



Gag me with a gopher.

 

[pixiedust23]

On the whole Mexico Ride - I was alway sunder the impression that each country actually decided what would be put in their pavillion and was responsible for it. Therefore Mexico would be the one who was not very good and incenting people to go there, but I could be wrong.

On the Maelstrom ride - we were just there during president's week. I was riding with my mother (shes old and lives in Florida, not that all old people live Florida or that all people who live in Florida are old, but you know what I'm saying) anyway so we had these two annoying women behind us who wouldnt shut up the whole time. And they were talking about trashy I'm sorry to be un PC but hick things, and were wearing bikini tops with no shirts on top and then short jean shorts and I swear they must have been in their 40s or 50s so its not like they were in their rebellous teenage years. And finally near the end they were shutting up...and just as we took that mini drop they started shreiking. Good LORD you would have thought we were on splash mountain. I wanted to kill them. When we all left the pavillion we watched which way they went and we went the opposite way!

 

[Chapter 11]

I love Ricardo Montalban and his chest.

Urrp. I was going to type something about "corinthian leather" and "Fantasy Island", but I think the less said the better. I eagerly await the bloody details on the "Grumpy blowup".

 

[Sleeping Jedi Beauty]

You sooo are and you rule!

I love Ricardo Montalban and his chest.

Having seen your comment about Ricardo Montalban it doesn't surprise me that you would quote Star Trek II. And we also know the real reason why they created 7 of 9. The women already had Khan. Us men needed 7. You know they just don't make Star Trek like they used to.

 

[Linzybrooke]

Well, if we are going to make references to Star Trek....my dad and I refer to almost all people that annoy us and speak either a language we don't understand or simply don't shut up and have NOTHING to say Ferengi. It drives my mom crazy and my hubby doesn't get it but my dad and I just look at each other, shrug our shoulders and say "Ferengi." It's good times!

 

[Sleeping Jedi Beauty]

One of my friends was nicknamed the Grand Nagus. It was one of those references that only a few people understood. Those were fun days. We even took a trip to Vegas for Star Trek: The Experience. Yes, as my screen name should indicate, I'm a geek.

 

[javamom]

Okay, now I am from CA, now reside--for 18 years in MN--and all you Californians with your "He was like this and then, like I did like that." are the ones speaking a different language.

Ummm, I use like way more than I should too and I am in Kansas. But, I was born in CA (moved in grade school) and my uncle actually owned a restaurant in "the Valley." So, couple that with the fact that I am a 30-something product of the 80's and, like, that about explains it. Dontcha think? ;-)

 

[5disneyfreaks]

PrincessAurora,

I'm thinking.......

I don't have a PalMickey, and even though that would be nice, I think I would prefer a Princess Aurora "pal" instead. Do you think Disney would go for it? That, or meet you could just meet us there in December.

I have had a bad day, and my kids know it. So, they are very happy seeing me reading your post and laughing loudly!

I am really looking forward to going on the ride in Mexico. Rolling heads!
I can't wait!
Thanks for making a bad day much better.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

I have been reading your report to DH over my shoulder every evening. Today he found out his new work hours at the post office and sent them to me in a text message....followed by this one:

"Those dogs SUCK"



Thanks for a trip report that has us cracking up every night...I cannot wait to hear about Grumpy. I just knew he was going to snap eventually.

 

[Alysa]

They weren’t speaking Spanish, French, German, Italian, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Canadian (hey, to us in the US of A you do speak a different language, I think I’ll also lump people from Minnesota in here too).

What are you taking about, eh? You make Canadians sound like hoseheads! Beauty report though, eh?!

 

[beckmrk04]

Is it weird that now, after following this trip report, I go around saying, "Those dogs suck," and in all honesty forget that people have NO freakin' clue what I am talking about?! Is there DIS-addiction help?

 

[PrincessAurora]

Special shout out to all the geeks out there - especially Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy, Firefly and Battlestar geeks (I love the new Starbuck, she kicks ***. In fact she might even kick Khans *** and that is some major ***. Damn, I can't say ***. Let's say donkey. Alright, she can kick some major donkey or Donkay).

5disneyfreaks - would love to meet you in December and give you my guided tour to the horrors that are The River of Time and Club Cool/Beverly but I have to save for my April trip. That should be a good one. Going with one of my oldest friends who is a Producer/writer on "My Name is Earl".

OK, it is o dark thirty here in California so it's time to post the next to last portion of day 3.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Now it is off to Germany, land of warm beer, pickled cabbage and Heidi Klumm. Grumpy is now after me to drink more. He wants a large beer, a huge beer, a beer of legendary proportions. And a pretzel. I’m not into a boatload of warm beer and pretzels without brown mustard or warm plastic cheese product are just a waste of carbs. While Grumpy gets his beer, Tink and I check out the wine. They have a wine tasting area and also you can get wine by the glass. This is nice. Then I see it – German ice wine. Mmmmmm ice wine. For $12 a glass. No, strike that – for a quarter glass – a wee glass, a tiny taste of a smidgeon of a glass. TWELVE dollars. In American money. That is SIX POUNDS which is a deal if you are British. I haven’t checked the exchange rate for Euros or Klingon money but I will bet they are getting a deal as well. TWELVE DOLLARS!

So what do I do? I get the wine. They gave me a wee square of chocolate (70% cocoa content). I suppose the least they owe me is fancy shmancy chocolate to go with the TWELVE DOLLAR wee sip of ice wine. I sat down with Tink and Grumpy and sipped my wine.

You would think that Grumpy would be happy. I have now had 3 alcoholic beverages but no, my wine isn’t big enough, I’m not drinking enough, I’m not drinking fast enough.

SCREETCH

Ummmm, when did you become my Mother? I really don’t recall designating you the nag police. Oh and by the way, why do you care? Am I telling you what to drink or when to drink or how much to drink? No. So stop it already. This is getting old really fast.

I finish my ice wine and decide to check out Steiff “button in the ear” bears while Grumpy gets another beer of Gigantic proportions. I love Steiff bears. They have a limited edition Mickey bear that only costs the mortgage of the average Midwestern house. That means that is my mortgage times FOUR. Gotta love livin’ in California.

After arguing with one of the voices that lives in my head, I decide NOT to get the pricey bear. I can get another bear, a different bear. I will come back and get this one when I am Mrs. Alan Rickman and we come here on our honeymoon. HA!

I know, he is probably gay – just let me have my fantasy.

Well we now head by Italy. We don’t actually go in it we just stop at the Bellini cart. Tink gets one because she loves them. I am a purist and refuse because they aren’t real Bellini’s. These come in a bottle. A real Bellini is Perseco with white peach juice. Not regular peaches, not cling peaches, WHITE peaches. Tink mocks me. She likes these just fine. Grumpy looks at me. Why don’t I have a drink? I say because I don’t want one.

As we approach the US of A, Grumpy decides to get a Sam Adams. Great. Have a Sam Adams, have two. I care not.

Now remember the poking from Animal Kingdom? No the poking isn’t coming back. It’s worse. REALLY. It’s the licking! He gets his beer, turns to Tink and LICKS HER. On the face. Like a demented St. Bernard. I kid you not but it gets worse. Really. Tink decides she needs some cash and a bathroom break. We head to the American Pavillion where she has one stop bathroom/banking all down one corridor. With her gone, Grumpy decides that chasing me around with his tongue hanging out like he is trying to lick me is funny.

Who thinks this is funny? Raise your hands. Who thinks this is disturbing? Raise your hands. OK, I am counting WAY more hands on the disturbing vote. Those Klingons and people from Minnesota dontcha know are voting with funny just to get back at me about the language crack earlier.

Seriously now, this is just weird. Grumpy is 42 years old. FORTY TWO! I now feel I have fallen into a David Lynch vacation with a manic depressive 3 year old. I try various tactics. I try to ignore him. Remember all of our Mothers gave us that advice when boys teased us in grade school. Didn’t work any better now than it did then. I tried the “polite” heh heh laugh with the withering smile while backing away. Nothing. I tried saying “look, stop it, really, this is freaking me out”. Nothing. WHERE IS TINK?! This is her man! Finally I snap and just say in that “no nonsense Mom voice” – Look, KNOCK IT OFF! NO MEANS NO!

I didn’t want to go this route because we are all stuck together and sharing a hotel room and a plane and everything from Florida to California and we are only on day 3 of 7 days in The World. Now Grumpy is all bent out of sorts.

I have discovered something today. When he is doing whatever he does, as long as you go along with it, he is OK or at least not setting fire to small animals. If you disagree with him or tell him no, then his Anger Management classes start to kick in. I can see that he wants to hit me with a shovel or something but decides to bury that emotion and pout instead.

Tink returns from the LONGEST bathroom break EVER to this:

G: What?
Me: It’s annoying, stop it.
G: But you liked it.
Me: No I didn’t
G: Yes you did, you laughed.
Me: I was being polite and hoping you would take a hint.
G: (silence)
Me: (trying the “Girl” route) Look, I’m sure Tink thinks its funny and that is great but I have issues from when I was little. You see my dad thought it was a laugh riot to wrestle around with us kids, pin us down and pretend like he is going to spit on us. I would FREAK out and he just thought it was the funnies thing on Earth. (Yup, my Dad the lawyer and the Chief of Staff to a State Senator – I wonder if this is all testosterone related?)

G: Well, that doesn’t have to do with me.
Me: No but it involves tongues and spit and ICK. It bugs me, I asked you to stop and when someone says no, they mean no.

Grumpy just decides to pout. It is perfectly OK for him to reign down “those dogs suck” on whatever we like but tell him no – he’s not OK with that.

I figure we need a quick getaway to Japan and candy animals because nothing saves the day like candy animals. I am the “peace maker child” of the family along with being the “black sheep” of the family and the “weird one”. Don’t ask. So I try to “fix it” with these candy animals, I read about on the Boards.

NEXT: Japan, Off-Kilter, "the beavers", why we hate the French, Grumpy still pouts and the infamous pigeon milk. More Grumpy pouts, plans and a flying squirell that he was responsible for coming soon.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

I feel for you. All three of my kids are "lickers". They instinctively KNOW it is the best revenge technique in the world. They use it on each other quite a bit. And... I've received a few good and spitty laps myself. Not their father, though. They're not stupid... just disgusting. But they're LITTLE KIDS! So, I definitely vote for "Disturbing". I would have neutered him. With a spoon. I think. BTW, the KING of revenge licks is also known as: The Peanut Butter Coated Tongue Lash. Ask Calvin about THAT one. Speaking of licking... I'm licking my chops anticipating more of your great report!

Go Princess Girl!!!!

 

[Chapter 11]

Special shout out to all the geeks out there - especially Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy, Firefly and Battlestar geeks

Ah, Buffy ... now that was quality television (so sad it's gone). Angel just never measured up. But always had to keep that one to myself -- people tended to look at me weird when I claimed to be a Buffy fan (I'm not exactly a teenaged girl). The good thing is, my son is now old enough to appreciate Star Wars, so I get to watch those over and over again with him. I think my new motto should be "Apology accepted, Captain Needa". Gotta love the power of the dark side.

 

[labdogs42]

(Editorial non-PC rant: I am assuming that these rides are to educate guests about the glorious history of the country represented and give others a sense of why this is a neat place. To me it's really cheapening the history of Mexico and it's people to portray them as annoying peddlers that are always trying to sell you stuff. Sure I go to Mexico and have the beat off the herds of youngsters that are trying to sell me Chiclets or a paper mache donkey but this is suppose to be an INCENTIVE to go to Mexico. Mexico has a rich history and I DIDN'T SEE ANY OF IT! I saw "interpretive dance" and that's it. How about the art of Mesoamerica or festivals specific to that region. NO! I get water skiing bikini babes and people "running" next to your boat tying to sell you junk! That is really insulting to the people of Mexico. End rant)

All that is missing for the "true" Mexico experience is a float-thru Senor Frog's and some "girls gone wild"!

 

[Sleeping Jedi Beauty]

Thanks for the props Aurora. We geeks need to stick together. As always, your reports are quite entertaining.

 

[PrincessAurora]

I feel for you. All three of my kids are "lickers". They instinctively KNOW it is the best revenge technique in the world. They use it on each other quite a bit. And... I've received a few good and spitty laps myself. Not their father, though. They're not stupid... just disgusting. But they're LITTLE KIDS! So, I definitely vote for "Disturbing". I would have neutered him. With a spoon. I think. BTW, the KING of revenge licks is also known as: The Peanut Butter Coated Tongue Lash. Ask Calvin about THAT one. Speaking of licking... I'm licking my chops anticipating more of your great report!

Go Princess Girl!!!!

Thanks Mel! You know, I think I have the perfect sidekick for Calvin. My friend has two boys. The oldest one is about 7, the youngest 5. She was trying to get them off to school and the oldest, Dennis was toddling along, not really moving and she had to go. She gave him all the motivational speeches and the "we'll leave you" speech but nothing. So she told her youngest to get it into gear, Dennis knows the way to school and if he can't get with the program, he's walking.

They get in the car and leave. At a stop light she looks over and sees her neighbor with Dennis in the car. He wags his tongue, waves and the car takes off. They got to school before she did.

He also created a toilet flood but it was caught in time before your kind of damage could happen.

I think if those two got together, life as we know it could end.

And ummm, Peanut Butter Coated Tongue Lash -

AND gotta say - LOVE the avatar. Javamom did mine too! She is soo cool!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

And ummm, Peanut Butter Coated Tongue Lash -

Yep. You cover your tongue with peanut butter. Hold it in your mouth for a bit. To warm it up. And mix it with drool. Basically... to thin the consistancy at little. Then you walk up to your unsuspecting victim and lick them from chin to forehead... forcing as much Peanut Butter into their nostrils as possible.

From the twisted mind of an evil genius. Heh, heh. Hope you weren't eating or anything. Sorry. Love ya, Mel!