PrincessAuroras Weird and Freaky Trip Report - Final Installment

[zachnlucy]

My notes say, “We are family. I LOVE THIS BAR!!! Did I say this place is cool and I love you. Dave will be here who we retun for Fartasmic – had cosmoo - boy am I buzzed.” Spelling is all as written. Sad, huh?

You're hilarious! My ex has his own place -- sorta -- he lives with an old woman, but she's drunk all the time. He really hasn't had a job in years, but he is kinda cute. Any interest? I'd love to get into Club 33!

 

[javamom]

Now let me tell you, is there ANYTHING scarier on planet Earth than Sigourney Weavers flat behind 20 ft tall on the silver screen wearing white granny underpants?

 

[PrincessAurora]

So, is it OK if he lives with his parents as long as he lives on the main floor?



AND, what is club 33? I know Mel HappyHaunt knows what you are talking about, but I'm feeling left out!

Thanks for a great trip report (I'm squealing that like a 15-year old cheerleader just for you!)

It is a private club within Disneyland next to Pirates of the Caribean/Blue Bayou. Membership costs thousands of dollars and the waiting list is a least 3 years long.

http://disney.go.com/inside/issues/stories/v050308.html

It is also the only place in Disneyland where you can get alchohol. I've been twice on personal memberships and twice on corporate ones.

 

[PrincessAurora]

You're hilarious! My ex has his own place -- sorta -- he lives with an old woman, but she's drunk all the time. He really hasn't had a job in years, but he is kinda cute. Any interest? I'd love to get into Club 33!

No job & drunk old woman = but thanks for playing!

 

[PrincessAurora]

I’m still kinda drunk and its 7:30pm. So what goes with buzzed? That’s right, HOT TUB!!! My notes say in very squinty writing. “Thinking of going to hot tub. Feeling kinda icky and not in control and not in a good way. Want to stay awake and drink water until I am sober” Good plan Gunga Din! So I pour myself upstairs with my leftovers, drink some gatoraide, get on my suit and head to the Jacuzzi with Tink and Grumpy in tow.

I think Grumpy wants to continue drinking. Tink and I just want to relax in the hot water so we do. Ahhhhh, hot water. This is nice. We met a lovely woman named Janice from Tennessee. We talked about Dollywood and I made more “I love ya man” calls from the hot tub. The official Mouse rule was 15 minutes in the hot tub. We are there 1 ½ hours. It’s nice. Tink & I chat up Janice while Grumpy stakes out the other end of the tub. He isn’t interested in Dollywood (Those dogs suck) so we let him ponder life in his corner of the world.

We finally decide to go in. It’s almost time for the water parade. As we are walking back to the hotel, we hear Booms from the Magic Kingdom fireworks. Grumpy wants to go inside and see them from the room. Since they have already been shooting off for a few minutes we are afraid we will miss them so Tink and I decide to watch them from the beach. Grumpy goes inside but we end up on the boat dock for a better view. It’s cold and we just have our towels. I have bare feet and the heat from our bodies is rolling off us like smoke.

We sit on the dock and wait another 10 minutes for the electric float parade. We are too cold to go looking for another place to watch so we watch here. It’s kinda cheesy but its’ a tradition. The dolphins jump, the sea serpent looks scintillating and the music still sounds tinny. When it is over we run into Grumpy. He came down looking for us on the beach. He couldn’t find us and now is grumpy again. Tink said sorry but we went out on the dock to watch the fireworks and couldn’t find the beach. He grumps that it’s the big stretch of sand right by the water. True but in our defense its dark and you do have to actively look for the way there. I’ve never been and I’ve stayed at Wilderness Lodge three times now.

She tries to move on and ask how he liked the parade. In Grumpy form he muttered “Those dogs suck”. O Kay. I pointed out that I mentioned it was cheesy but was fun to do. I mean they’ve been doing this for many, many years. State of the art it is not. We decide to go to bed as we have an early day at Animal Kingdom. Early morning with no coffee. God help us all.

Just a small note: Today was Super Bowl Sunday and the Steelers won. My friend Sharon is a HUGE Steerlers fan so I’m glad they won. Now can someone tell me what a “terrible towel” is and what makes it so terrible? I guess as a gimmick it’s better than wearing cheese on your head.

NEXT: ANIMAL KINGDOM & EXPEDITION EVEREST

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

It is a private club within Disneyland next to Pirates of the Caribean/Blue Bayou. Membership costs thousands of dollars and the waiting list is a least 3 years long.

http://disney.go.com/inside/issues/stories/v050308.html

It is also the only place in Disneyland where you can get alchohol. I've been twice on personal memberships and twice on corporate ones.

FOUR TIMES?! Four. TIMES? fourtimes.

Wow. It's a dream of mine to get there ONCE... before I kick. That's somethin'. Four, eh? I might have to PM you for scoopage.

I love ya man!

 

[PrincessAurora]

FOUR TIMES?! Four. TIMES? fourtimes.

Wow. It's a dream of mine to get there ONCE... before I kick. That's somethin'. Four, eh? I might have to PM you for scoopage.

I love ya man!

I think maybe I should write a report of the very first time I went. I still remember it and boy was it interesting.

My best friend Catwoman has applied for membership with her major network TV writing dough so I am rooting for her getting in before I get old so I can take friends. Hmmmm, Canada road trip to LaLa Land? Calvin being the first person blacklisted from the club? You know the toilets look like wicker chairs....

 

[Thumper's Tara]

I do know what she means about board games, competition and siblings. My sister and I use to play death match Risk. I would always choose pink. I would be the gay army that holed up in Australia while my sister conquered the rest of the planet. But could she dislodge the homosexuals from Australia? NO! She would eventually get mad, throw her armies around and leave. If only war was that simple. We will just hole up “down under”; they will get bored and quit.

I can't wait to read more! Great report!!!

 

[Thumper's Tara]

Our bartender is Dave and he is soooo cool! I like Dave. I defiantly would go out with Dave. That is another theme of this trip. (A) Celebrate my divorce and (B) Find myself a non lying, funny, smart, decent, hardworking, Disney loving, straight man who is single, emotionally available, doesn’t live with his parents in the basement, has his own car, has a job, has a motivated career path and owns real estate or the means to acquire same. I know it is a long list but a girl has to have her standards. If you know anyone, send them my way. I’ll get you into Club 33.

When you find your man, send his brother my way!!

We really need to get to the Muppets but promise to come back in a few hours so off we go! We walk into the holding pen, feeling all good and warm and then realize that Grumpy is MIA. Where is Grumpy? Tink looks around, I look around. No Grumpy. Great. We figure he knows where we are and we all have cell phones. We watch the little movie with Gonzo or Beaker or that other one – I can’t tell. I’m just busy yelling, “BEAN!” I really love that loser rabbit. Bean is such a screw up but he tries. He REALLY tries! I can relate to that.

Bean - how can you not love him? Enough said!

 

[mickeymousemom]

Okay....funniest darn trip reports I ever read over almost two years and two Disney boards!

If my DD saw that you were wearing clothes from Hot Topic, she'd want to adopt you as her mother....and if my little bit overweight 40 year old body could fit into them, I'd be wearing them too....I LOVE that store....

What a way with writing you have.....I'm ready to hear more!

 

[PrincessAurora]

Okay....funniest darn trip reports I ever read over almost two years and two Disney boards!

If my DD saw that you were wearing clothes from Hot Topic, she'd want to adopt you as her mother....and if my little bit overweight 40 year old body could fit into them, I'd be wearing them too....I LOVE that store....

What a way with writing you have.....I'm ready to hear more!

Thanks for the kind words. I try.

My sorta overweight body fits them. It just depends on what they are. Being selective is the key. ALSO if you wear over a size 10, try Torrid. They have Hot Topic like clothes in Plus Sizes. My friend Tink is an assistant manager in the San Francisco store and loves it.

I bought jeans in a size ZERO there! ZERO! That is an ego boost. Haven't worn a zero since I was a youngin and WAY too skinny. I mean, I am not large but I have a booty (like J Lo) and I am sick of trying to shop at these stick girl stores and I can't fit my thighs or booty of my "Woman Body" into these stick jeans in a size 10 or 12!

I am taking practice adoptions of kids in preperation of meeting a wonderful guy that might have kids of his own. Though not like the Bradys because that is just too much weirdness.

Anyway... next chapter coming.

 

[PrincessAurora]

6:30am. Sneak over to the balcony on Dawn Otter Patrol. Try not to wake up Grumpy and Tink. No otters, no bunnies, just 4 ducks. I think it might be too cold for the otters. I wonder where the otters are? Do they go to the Contemporary when its cold and commandeer the hot tub? Do otters even like hot water? I am giving this WAY too much thought. I try to make coffee but its kinda gross. I figure I don’t have to drink it and it might prevent Grumpy from turning into a Yeti. You see, today we are going to try to ride Expedition Everest.

Tink is up so we get ready. It only takes Grumpy 25 minutes to hit the shower, get in clothes and go. It helps when you don’t have hair.

Ensemble: Black tank top with furry leopard print across the top, matching sweater with furry leopard print Mickey head and embroidery that says “Animal Kingdom, black pants, black socks with furry leopard print Mickey heads, black tennies, black leather jacket, DIS Mickey Head name tag, glasses.

Even with the nasty Nescafe sludgy coffee, Grumpy is still not happy. Fancy that. Animal Kingdom is open early for resort guests today so I want to be there at 9am. Grumpy wants more sleep. Grumpy thinks you should get up at 10 or 11 and start touring at 11 or noon or 1! I mean during off-season the parks are usually only open until 6pm. That wastes most of the day! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

It’s 48 degrees outside and I can see my breath. I’m trying to make a game of it with Pal Mickey to keep myself warm. Good thing we only had to wait 3 minutes for the bus.

On arrival to Animal Kingdom, we are waiting to get to the bag check line when I see a German woman in a wheelchair equipped with oxygen that is SMOKING! I’ve been to enough hospitals and watched enough “Trauma: Life in the ER” to know that oxygen and smoking do NOT mix.

She is loud and rude and harassing the cast members AND (if that isn’t enough) she isn’t a resort guest. Nope. She is just a regular customer. She can’t get in early. The cast member told her she would have to wait until 10am and boy was she not happy. Tink & I move quickly away from her lest she explode or at least launch herself into space.

Tink needs a bathroom stop, yet another chapter in the story of the smallest bladder in the West. I start thinking about all the toilets in WDW, how some children are traumatized with the Disney turbo flush and then think about the Germans. Yup, the Germans. I think that toilets might explain why the woman outside is such a pill. How? Well check this out and explain to me what is WRONG with the Germans anyway? Any Germans out there want to explain THIS?! http://www.asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm

That has to be the weirdest, scariest thing on the planet. Almost as scary as Sigourney Weavers behind. I will have to give this some serious thought because that is one seriously scary behind. Now if the German toilet was 20ft tall, that might be the determining factor! OOOOOOOOOO AND if Sigourney Weaver in her white granny underpants was 100 ft tall. OK, this is getting way too weird.

OK, I am in Commando mode. Must get to Everest! Hurry, hurry, MOVE IT SOLDIER!! Damn hippies, Tink & Grumpy want to look at the monkeys and other weird animals that are standing between us and the Yeti. I drag them reluctantly over the bridge from Discovery Island and see it. The Mountain. It is beautiful. The sun is coming up, there are wisps of fog between the peaks. It looks real.

We head into Nepal and see the line. They stand there while I go on ahead to see if it’s even open or if people are just queuing because they are dumb sheep. The ride isn’t open yet but soon will be however Fast Pass IS operational. I go back, get their resort cards and get 3 fast passes for us. We now have 1 ½ hours before our ride window.

NEXT: Safari and EVEREST WITH PICTURES (and poo)

 

[bigsis1970]

Great Report !!! you are soo funny !!! can't wait for more. Michelle

Oh and Congratulations on your big "D" !

 

[debloco]

I’m just busy yelling, “BEAN!” I really love that loser rabbit. Bean is such a screw up but he tries. He REALLY tries! I can relate to that.

...back to Bean!

BEAN!

BEAN!

Gotta love that little bunny

 

[MommyPoppins]

Great report! It's always so fun when someone really witty writes a trip report!

BTW, thanks for the german toilet lesson. LOL! I saved it for DH to read. I laughed outloud.

Thank goodness they didn't put "german toilets" in WS.

 

[mickeymousemom]

{Taps fingers on computer desk, waiting impatiently for the next hilarious, put-a-smile-in-your-day trip report}

 

[PrincessAurora]

Hope to get it up later today. My cat had a bit of a vet thing yesterday (he might have a tumor in his jaw) so had do deal with that and bringing him home all drugged and his loose bowels and my duvet cover and how my room now smells like poo but he is so sad and cant help it. Now that jaunt was $380 so there goes my food money and bill money and he can't even get a job or get on SSI so I am now fixing braised red cabbage from my Mickey cookbook - Germany. Yeah. How dare life intrude on my trip report writing!

 

[Thumper's Tara]

Hope to get it up later today. My cat had a bit of a vet thing yesterday (he might have a tumor in his jaw) so had do deal with that and bringing him home all drugged and his loose bowels and my duvet cover and how my room now smells like poo but he is so sad and cant help it. Now that jaunt was $380 so there goes my food money and bill money and he can't even get a job or get on SSI so I am now fixing braised red cabbage from my Mickey cookbook - Germany. Yeah. How dare life intrude on my trip report writing!

Kitty prayers are coming your way! Having a houseful of critters, I know how stressfull it can be when a pet is sick.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Thanks! He is on the back deck stretched out in the sun. Had to sneak over to the door to make sure he was still breathing. How can I be a crazy cat lady with no cat? Why can't you be a crazy dog lady? Hmmmm, need a cidar. It's sorta beer o clock here in California.

 

[disneymom3]

Your reports are cracking my up, but I have to know....WHY did you bring Grumpy along?? I am assuming Tink is your friend and you are just stuck with Grumpy. Next time I think you two need a Girl's Trip!!