PrincessAuroras Weird and Freaky Trip Report - Final Installment

[Linzybrooke]

Just watched Fred Willards's show and you were excellent! You really should make a trip to the Texas Festival in the fall...you can't beat the environment of the camp ground!

 

[Philadisney]

Just watched Fred Willards's show and you were excellent! You really should make a trip to the Texas Festival in the fall...you can't beat the environment of the camp ground!

i tried to watch it but appearantly The Travel Channel is not included in basic cable! too bad, it sounds like it was a fun show. at least i have your next trip installment to look forward to!

 

[mouseaddicts]

PA - You said MONDAY we would get another installment ...... today is TUESDAY & there's nothing here ......... we're waiting ......

 

[Disnut25]

I am so bummed; I missed your big TV debut!! I searched TIVO for a re-broadcast but no luck, guess I will just setup a season pass and hope for the best. I can’t believe your TR is coming to an end, those dogs suck.

 

[PrincessAurora]

So off we go into Tom Sawyer Paintbrush Land. Tom Sawyer Paintbrush Land is not really different from Tom Sawyer Island except for the hordes of screaming kids looking for paintbrushes instead of just screaming. It was great fun. We made a beeline straight for the Fort and looked around. Off to the side was a blue handled paintbrush. Dot grabbed it before another treasure hunter could snake it from her.

Disneyland closed their fort. Booooooo. This fort is better anyway. It’s bigger, it still has the guns and it has all kinds of surprises, some of the unasked for variety. As we are leaving via the side, Dot stops, looks down, looks harder, turns to me and says “Is that poo?”

O sweet Jesus! I look thinking it might be rabbit pellet sized poo. Not that I am a poo expert mind you but this looked like people poo, great big walkin’, talkin’ upright monkey poo. But it is Disney so I thought maybe it was fake. I mean, it could happen. Disney is so good with the details and this is the “wilderness”. It could happen. Do people &#$% in the woods? Sure they do but if they are civilized they bury it. I wasn’t about to get that close to it so I needed a tool. I needed a pokin’ stick. Dot went searching in the underbrush until she found a suitable one. God, hasn’t there been enough poking and now here I am eyeball to eyeball with poo.

I poked, the poo gave. It was real poo. No fake poo here. Did I say it was big? This is not little kid ran over to dump a package while Mom & Dad were catching an illicit smoke in the gulag. Oh no. This was a log. A manly mans mass. The next question that presents itself, after why I poked poo with a stick in the first place is, HOW on God’s Green Earth did some ADULT actually drop trou at Disneyworld, drop a log and get away with it? I mean if they were busted, don’t you think they would have done away with said offending log? These things puzzle me.

There is a ton of stuff to do on Tom Sawyer Island and you can get a workout climbing up and down hills and dales, there is a wobbly bridge (which I studiously avoid when Grumpy is there because he jumps on them), a windmill and two caves to explore. Injun’ Joe’s Cave is cool, and dark with an uneven floor so don’t run and watch your step. There are also little cubbyholes and tunnels at kid level. Warning: They smell like pee. Enough said.

The Mystery Mine is dark, warm, and also has an uneven floor in places. You can get all turned around. Aunt Polly’s which use to have food and ice cream and swarms of nasty seagulls, is mostly closed for the season and only has the barest of offerings. It’s too bad.

Well Dot and I get back to the raft to collect her booty and her Mom on the other side. Ursula doesn’t do wobbly bridges, mines or uneven things. She wears these platform shoes ALL the time in order to add to her imposing stature and because she is really short. If she falls, she is going to squish those little grey use to be merpeople things that follow her around. She is sitting on the other side badgering some poor cast member. God help us all.

Dot hands over her blue handled booty and trades it for a “Get out of Jail Free” card. Not really but close. It was a “But in line at choice of themed ride” card. We get to line jump at Big Thunder Mountain. Wheee Haw! This is gonna be fun. I think I’m going to keep the poo adventure to myself. Ursula just would NOT understand.

Next: Big Thunder in more ways than one.

 

[PrincessAurora]

Yes I suck. You see, I posted the next installment first before posting my lame excuse of work. I fly back yesterday around noon and was so whipped that after unpacking, trying to make my cat like me again and finishing some loose ends I went to bed at 8pm.

Today I had 150 emails to wade through and they kept coming all morning. I felt like I was swimming against the tide. I meant to get some groceries but then the rain started and the phone was ringing so what do I have in the fridge. Oooo carrots. whee. That is dinner tonight. I did have cowgirl creamery cheese which is the BEST for breakfast so I shouldnt complain.

Welcome TheGirlsMom to the maddness that is DIS and a shout out to DJBrandon21 who text messaged me on my cell at 6:45am. He didn't know it wasn't AIM and I was awake watching The Apprentice on TiVo.

LinzyBrooke, I keep meaning to see the Texas Faire but after the Southern Faire is over at the end of May, it is detox, and then start rehersals for the Northern Faire in August.

OK, back to writing and get a jump on tomorrow because I will HAVE to get out and get cat food and move my car for street cleaning.

 

[Grammyof2]

I will be the first to ask the obvious question. Why, oh Why, did you stick a stick in Poo? Somehow I cannot get this vision out of my mind. The PrincessAurora, with a stick in Poo.

Hopefully, you don't get to meet the layer of the log.

 

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

LMAO like grammyof2 i am wondering about the stick in the poo LMAO did ya tell a cm?
here is my poo story, i go to the island that is tom sawyer. i get pooped on. never fails. those birds like me, those dogs suck. (and i caught myself saying that outloud the other day. i had a few stares of 'what?' i wanted to say 'yea thats right. i am a princessaurora junkie and damned proud of it! " LOL

 

[mickeymousemom]

......so I FINALLY see you on TV and here I am, all giddy and stuff...Honey, honey! C'mere...its Princess Aurora..you know..thatonegoofywomanthatwearsthecateyepantsfromhottopicandwritesthosehilarioustripreports...looklooklook...theresheis...she's the QUEEN~! And Fred Willard is kissing her arm...isn't she a CRACK??!!

Oh well. Pay me no mind. I don't get out much, you know.

 

[PrincessAurora]

I will be the first to ask the obvious question. Why, oh Why, did you stick a stick in Poo? Somehow I cannot get this vision out of my mind. The PrincessAurora, with a stick in Poo.

Hopefully, you don't get to meet the layer of the log.

I stuck the stick in poo because I wanted to find out if it was real poo or "Disney magic" poo although why Disney Imagineers would craft poo is beyond me though I hear they did make Yeti poo inside Everest but the cars are going too fast to see it.

Or I did it just because I am strange and inclined to that type of behaviour. Either are equally valid.

 

[PrincessAurora]

LMAO like grammyof2 i am wondering about the stick in the poo LMAO did ya tell a cm?
here is my poo story, i go to the island that is tom sawyer. i get pooped on. never fails. those birds like me, those dogs suck. (and i caught myself saying that outloud the other day. i had a few stares of 'what?' i wanted to say 'yea thats right. i am a princessaurora junkie and damned proud of it! " LOL

LOL! You be proud! Also us Italians say that if a bird does his business on your head its good luck. Then again Italians think that just about everything that goes wrong is good luck. Cork in your wine? Good luck! Bird poo on your head? Good Luck! Husband playing grab and tickle with your sister? Ok, maybe that isnt good luck. That is more like Uncle Vito hits him in the knees with a baseball bat.

 

[PrincessAurora]

......so I FINALLY see you on TV and here I am, all giddy and stuff...Honey, honey! C'mere...its Princess Aurora..you know..thatonegoofywomanthatwearsthecateyepantsfromhottopicandwritesthosehilarioustripreports...looklooklook...theresheis...she's the QUEEN~! And Fred Willard is kissing her arm...isn't she a CRACK??!!

Oh well. Pay me no mind. I don't get out much, you know.

When I first read this I thought you said "isn't she on CRACK?!!" to which I was thinking, yes - yes I am. I crack myself up.

No really kids, don't take crack. It's bad. It will make you end up like this: - a dancing banana guy and there is NOTHING more scary than that!

 

[PrincessAurora]

I haven’t ridden Big Thunder in quite some time. You see in Disneyland there was an accident. They had a clever little sign about how the ride was closed for refurbishment. They really should have a sign that said “Sorry Pardner, the Rootin’ist, Tootin’ist ride in the West is closed cause we kilt a feller but don’t you worry, we’ll be back soon!”

As a result my Disneyland friend Catwoman won’t ride it. Not with a 2 mile cattle prod. Even now that they fixed it AFTER they kilt a feller. I’m not afraid. Neither is Dot. Ursula could care less so she stayed by a tree bothering poor Bert on the cell phone. “When are you getting here? Did you take the aspirin I left? WHAT game is on?!”

OK, here I go. As we ascended the first hill, I would always look for the mountain goat baaaaing at me. Ummm, no goat just the metal stand where the goat use to be. Bad idea. The ride was fine though I think that Dot enjoyed it more than me. After Everest, it just seemed a bit twee.

And speaking of twee, we HAD to catch Cinderellabration or else Dot was going to find a fork and start poking me in the kneecaps with it. Honestly, she would. I pity any kidnapper or terrorist that ever had her within 5 feet of their person. They would be offering Ursula money to take her back before she caused them any more pain.

We hike all the way over there with just a small side trip for a Dole Whip. We got a good view. We waited and the show started in all of its Princess glory. The show was boring. My opinion. It was.

I am a Princess freak and I could hardly even watch it. My nitpicking reason was that the dancing gals desperately needed ruffled petticoats over their hoops to keep their hoop wires from showing. I perform in elaborate, historical outfits with steel boned corsets half the year and these costume things glare at me. Also there is the glaring fact that Princess aren't crowned. Queens are. Will spare you the whole historical geek thing of titles and when certain titles apply to what. But if Cinderella wasn't a Princess before, what was she when she was part of the Princess pantheon before the show came into being? A poser?

Also the lady playing Cindy when I watched it was not the best. The gal I saw a few days previous was much better. This one was sooooo slow in her delivery Ursula and I were joking that Cindy was on qualudes. The other princesses, really good. Cindy? Really scary. What is WRONG with the Disney casting department?

Now all this being said, these are observations from an adult who is in the entertainment business and thus more picky than others. I would tell parents with little girls that their kids would enjoy it and the show is short so its not going to eat too much of your life.

I know the actors work hard. But there are times you just can't polish a turnip and make a diamond. The script was horrible and that is the writers fault, not the actors.

From the kid point of view, Dot agreed that she liked Auroras purple dress, that Belle was the best one there and she wants to be her some day and that Cindy “needs a nap”. I couldn’t have agreed more.

Well the clock is ticking down. We need to eat and we need to ride one more ride. Dot is looking at the Tiki Room. O no, this could be bad…..

 

[a*lil*bit*goofy]

LOL! You be proud! Also us Italians say that if a bird does his business on your head its good luck. Then again Italians think that just about everything that goes wrong is good luck. Cork in your wine? Good luck! Bird poo on your head? Good Luck! Husband playing grab and tickle with your sister? Ok, maybe that isnt good luck. That is more like Uncle Vito hits him in the knees with a baseball bat.

LMAO how true, how true!!! My family on my dad's side is Italian. LOL!

 

[PrincessAurora]

I really meant to get another installment out, I figure I have 2 left but I had to finish up some work before I leave for the airport. Have a great weekend all you DISers and I'll try to get back up on Monday.

 

[Sleeping Jedi Beauty]

Is Cinderellabration a decent sit down and take a break type thing, or does it even fail to provide a nice rest from walking all day?

 

[PrincessAurora]

Is Cinderellabration a decent sit down and take a break type thing, or does it even fail to provide a nice rest from walking all day?

Still in LA but had to check in really quick.

It is too short to be a break or a sit down. If you want to do that, ride the train. If you are walking by and can find a place to sit, cool but in my oppinion not worth going out of your way.

OK, need to sleep, long day, kids beat out Easter Bunny, film at 11.

 

[Sleeping Jedi Beauty]

Thanks for the review. Based largely on your review of Akershus, I've decided to give it a try solo on the upcoming trip. I figured that since I'd have to pay for a meal on the day we fly home, I'd rather pay more for a meal at Disney that I'd like to try and likely won't have another opportunity for a while than pay $10 for an airport meal or $15 for a counter service at POP.

 

[mouseaddicts]

We're waiting ..........

 

[PrincessAurora]

We decide that the plan of action should be to grab some lunch at Pecos Bills where they have the rootin’ist tootin’ist fixin’s bar in the West. Put some cheese sauce on those fries pardner or how about some fresh grilled mushrooms for that burger? Yum!

After lunch I figured there was time to hang a bit in Adventureland before I had to get luggage and the car with Tink & Grumpy. So off to the Tiki Room we went. Now the Tiki Room is a subject of great controversy. Disneyland still has their original Tiki Room intact. Walt Disney World has decided that the Tiki Room needed a “make over” in the form of Zazu and Iago from the Lion King and Aladdin respectfully. If I got the birds names wrong, bite me because I really don’t care. Didn’t much like them in the first place.

They basically added the Comic birds for zip and spice and other hip words and phrases. I can do without the Martin and Lewis routine but Dot wants to see it. Her favourite part is Pele, the really angry Hawaiian Volcano Goddess that comes out of the middle of the podium to rain down fire, lava and disapproval on us lowly mortals. This scares the pee out of some of the little ones but Dot takes this in stride. She hates roaches but she LOVES Pele.

After the drumming and the thunder and the wise cracks and the tribal retribution, we are off to the Jungle Cruise. This is a ride where your whole experience depends on if your Skipper is a rebel or not. Disney likes Skippers to stay with the script. A script Skipper is a boring Skipper. These jokes haven’t changed for 50 years. A rebel Skipper is a good thing. Robin Williams use to be a rebel Skipper and look what happened to him.

I should also note that audiences in LA are FAR more interactive on rides than audiences in Florida. Audiences in Florida get really annoyed when people recite the end of the Ghost Host speech and scream at the hanging body. In Anaheim, this is part of the typical show. We all do it. It’s like The Rocky Horror Picture Show. In Florida, not so much.

So we get on the boat and off we go. It always seemed to me that the Disneyland version is better but, well, it usually is. This gal Skipper was pretty good. She wasn’t stellar but she wasn’t horrid either. When we went past the waterfall the second time and we all yelled out the backside of water joke. She stopped and asked us where we were from. For ease of explaination, I said LA. She wanted to know if we were visiting cast members. Dot chimed in with “nobutwejustridethisallthetimeindisneylandandknowallthejokes”. I told Dot ala Ghostbusters that in the future if someone asks you whether you are a cast member, you say YES! I know, I am teaching her really bad habits and she doesn’t need anymore considering that she yelled at a plastic gorilla that she could see his butt.

NEXT: The End of the Road and the End of the Trip Report