Preschool Dilemma

[luvdzny]

I think the decision should be based on the child. I have 2 kids, DS never went to pre-school. He was always happy to play by himself, never cared to be with other kids that much. We did a lot of things together. and although he was one of the youngest kids in his kindergarten class, he was at or above the other kids level academically. He is now 20, has more friends than I can keep track of and is doing fine.

DD was always a very social child. She always needed to be "entertained." She never had the patience to sit with me and color or work on her letters or numbers. She started pre-school when she was 4 and loved it. She is 15 and also doing fine.

When DS was young MANY people tried to convince me that he HAD to go to pre-school, I am glad I did not listen. You know your DD, so do what you think is best for her.

Good luck with your decision!!!

 

[momof2inPA]

I don't think all children would be at a disadvantage if they don't attend pre-school. It is probably dependent on the child.
My 4 year old son attends classes at the Y with other four year olds, who all attend or have attended pre-school. He has not been to pre-school yet but listens and pays attention better than many of the others in his classes.

I'm thinking about sending him next year to make it easier on me. I homeschool my older son, and we would both benefit by a few hours of un-interrupted one-on-one time. I don't think I would send my child to pre-school more than a couple days a week for a couple hours, that would be too much structure for him at this age, and the partial day programs are pretty cheap here.

 

[peg2001]

Originally posted by summerrluvv
Children need to be able to socialize with their "peers" Parental socialization and peer socialization are two totally different things.

I take you are a homeschooler though, so you probably see things differently than I do.

I agree that children benefit greatly from spending time with other children but I don't think it needs be in a classroom setting nor do I think it has to be with a large group of same age children.

I agree 100% that parent and peer socialization are totally different things. I bet you can guess which is the most important of the two.

Peggy

 

[mudnuri]

well, neither of my 2 dd's went to preschool or pre-k.

They both entered kindergarten which is a FULL DAY without any prior structured schooling/play. They were home with me prior to kindergarten.

DD7 went to kindergarten after turning 5 in June...1 of the youngest in her class...did fine....is reading and doing math ahead of grade level, is in advanced reading class now.

DD6 went to Kindergarten at AGE 4...she turned 5 in October..she is the youngest child in her grade....she as DD7 is doing wonderfully, and has not been behind in anything...she also in in advanced reading classes, and is reading where DD7 was at this time last year. She also is 'math mentor' to the other kids in her class who are not where she is..(she's testing at 2nd grade math)...she was tested in april at age 4 1/2 to enter kindergarten that fall, since the districts cut off is September 5th....thats how she got in...

Now I might be the minority with my DD's but they could NOT read before kindergarten, and boy could they after! THey knew abc's/123, and simple math etc...

I say do whats best for your child, it was not a financial decission on my part to not send them to preschool, I just was not happy with the 1 choice we have in this area....I dont like the director or her teaching style....if it had been someone different, I might have sent them, but maybe not.

Brandy

 

[sk!mom]

No Way! They are little for such a short time and every moment is precious. My DD did not go to pre-k and she did fine in Kinder.- which, by the way, is full day here. I would put her in Mother's Day Out a couple of days a week for social skills. In our area, many churches have these and they are very reasonable. I would then have school at home on the other mornings. Reading, writing letters, having fun together. My DD loved Kinder. and I think it was because she was mature enough to be away from home and academically ready because of all the time that we "played school". She is now 7 and is excelling in all areas.

 

[Pembo]

First, I can't believe the price of preschool in other parts of the country! I paid $85/mo for ds and I thought that was a lot of money! Wow!

Second, both of my boys did go to preschool and it was for the socialization and the experience. They knew a lot before they went from home but they learned so much more at school. Ds#1 went 3 days a week at age 3 and 4. Ds#2 went 2 days at 3 and 3 days at 4.

That said, I have a friend who did not send her daughter. She had a very tough time in kindergarten adjusting to the structure of school. So if you choose not to send your child I'd suggest you find something for them to do that involves a little of the school structure. Story hour at the library, Sunday school (if you're a church person), etc.

 

[HappyMommy2]

I'm glad you asked this, as we're facing a similar issue and I'm enjoying reading the responses.

I agree with those who have said that it really depends on the child. I disagree with those who've implied that not sending a child to preschool automatically puts that child at a disadvantage later. In my experience with cousins, nieces and nephews, etc. I have seen that those who attended preschool transitioned more easily into kindergarten than those who did not, but those who had "homeschooled preschool" (as my aunt says) caught up quickly socially and educationally--within a matter of a couple of months or less in most cases. I guess there's an adjustment period/ learning curve that all children must overcome when starting school; whether they take it on at age 3 or 4 or in kindergarten probably doesn't make too much difference in the long run.

 

[RIDISNEYLOVERS]

WOW - thanks for all the responses!!

I should have explained my situation in a little more detail.

I have two children - my DD who turned 4 in January and I also have a 10 month old DD. I work Monday afternoon, Tuesday and Wednesday, my sister watches my kids on Monday and Tuesday and my mom watches my kids on Wednesday and my isters too. On Thursday and Friday I stay home and take care of my kids and my sister two kids DNiece who will be 4 in April and DNephew who turned 2 March 4th.

It is VERY challenging taking care of 4 kids. Our two oldest also go to dancing school one day per week. We put them in dance to get the socialization aspect and to listen to someone else rather than the people they are used to. I think if we send them to preschool then we could have more one-on-one time with the two youngest ones. There are days when we just can't "play" school for one reason or another when it comes to taking care of 4 kids. I thought this would be a good alternative for them to learn more than what I, my mom or my sister could teach them. They know how to write their names (in uppercase) and can recognize all their letters and can count up to 12, almost to 20. They can spell each others names too. I feel that maybe they need more repetition and routine because I know they learn things so fast.

Thanks for your help and for listening to my thoughts.

Lisa

 

[buzzlady]

Originally posted by Briar Rose 7457
In my aschool district, kindergarten is FULL DAY and is very academically oriented. children who have not been to preschool, or some similar activity where they've learned pre-k skills such as paying attention, following directions and proper interaction with other children, run into huge problems.

I agree. In our school, Kidergarten is full day also. Our district also has 1/2 day Pre-K. In K they get right into the learning and not the socialization anymore.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I didn't send my DS to 3yo preschool but did send him to 4yo pre-k . It did help him socially, and he was arounds kids all day and not just adults.

 

[buddy&wooz]

I'm with those who say it depends on the kids, some benefit a huge amount from preschool, some do fine without. Now reading your second post, it sounds like your daughter is getting a good variety of social interaction, but there are other considerations. I found my kids benefitted from the routine in preschool, learning how to take turns and patience. They learned that they could play in the sandbox, for example, but they had to wait until it was time to play in the sandbox. Some see that as a drawback, but I believe they need that skill when they get into a kindergarten classroom!

Is this a five day program you're thinking of? Maybe there's a 2 or 3 day program instead, or like others have mentioned, look into less expensive alternatives like co-ops.

No matter what you decide, I don't think skipping preschool affects long term school success for the vast majority of kids. I learned the hard way, the things you think are important when they're really little often turn out to be blips on the radar over the course of time!

 

[Allie322]

I just wanted to add that some communities in Rhode Island have preschools in the public schools that are free. They are set up to help children with developmental or learning disabilities. Those children are paired with children who don't have disabilities. They are wonderful programs that provide benefits for all of the children. It may be worth looking into.

 

[luv2nascar]

I vote for preschool
I don't know if you have an only child or oldest child but that could make a difference
1/2 vs. whole day kindergarten makes a difference too
but on the whole I would say it is good for kids to go and be with other kids and learn it a group type enviroment
Kindergarten isn't like when I was in school in the early 70's
We had colored and learned abc's and numbers but we took a nap or rest time too and had snack
my DD 8 1/2 had computers in her kindergarten class which they used and many other difference I could go on and on about

 

[CEDmom]

I think if you can a program that you can afford it would be a great benefit to your child to have some school exposure before kindergarten. Whether good or bad kindergarten has become much more academic then when we attended. Children are expected to follow directions, wait their turn, sit and pay attention etc. It's a completely different atmosphere than home and while we can teach our children many things I don't believe how to succeed in a classroom setting is one of them.

 

[RIDISNEYLOVERS]

We are looking at sending her 3 days per week for 2 1/2 hours per day.

CEDmom - that is exactly the reason why I am contemplating this. She has to learn to sit down and pay attention, Listen and follow directions, take turns and SHARE!!

My DD has a melt down in dancing school if she is not the line leader. The teacher and I have discussed the problem and we agreed that she needs to learn to take turns. I think maybe preschool will help with this also.


Lisa