Presbyterian-ok to dedicate child if parents not attending regularly?

[lecach]

We belong to a presbyterian church. We have only taken DS a handful of times since he was born. Our families keep after us to have DS dedicated/baptised. I don't think we should because I feel that it would be promising to raise DS in the church and if we arent attending, we would be lying. Plus DS is now 2 1/2 so wouldn't it be weird since people usually do the dedication thing for infants? Any advice? We're not against church or anything - it's basically lazyness and the fact that church doesn't let out til 12:30 and DS goes down for nap at 12.

 

[BabyTigger99]

I am a born and raised Presbyterian. I say if you are going to get your child baptized, get him baptized! I have seen many babies and children go through baptism, never to see them again, or only on Christmas and Easter. But I would only do it if it is something you truely want to do, not to make others happy.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

We're not against church or anything - it's basically lazyness and the fact that church doesn't let out til 12:30 and DS goes down for nap at 12.

Can you find a church with different service times? And I wasn't baptised until I was 3. My younger brother and I were baptised together and we did attend regularly. So being 2 1/2 isn't an issue, IMO.

Do what you are comfortable with.

 

[rpbert1]

Do not like getting involved in religious discussions, but it comes down to how you feel.
On a personal basis , i would not, i brought my kids up with out any involvment in churches, they know what is acceptable and what is not.
and they have respect for other people and their beliefs, something that is lacking in many people in our country over here.now they are old enough they will make their own decisions on religion , and its down to them on what course they will follow,if any,many people inherit their religion from their parents like something that is handed down through the family.

 

[believe]

In my church the word dedication means that you will raise your child as a Christian, to do God's service, and want God's will for your child's life. It doesn't have anything to do with regular church attendance. I would not go through with the service if it is just to get individuals off your back, only do it if it is truly something you and your DH want for our son. Our dedication is very informal, you just take your child forward at the end of church...they pray and the child is considered dedicated. This was completed on their first attendance. My SIL christianed her son when he was 5yrs old, due to my FIL urging and 'threats'. She regrets ever doing it. She did not christian her second son.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Ultimately, a baptism is your decision and not your extended family's decision.

Our pastor is open to doing a baptism whether or not the family attends regularly. If you decide that you'd like to do a baptism, talk to your pastor and see what he/she says. I wouldn't worry about the age of your ds. People who join the church get baptized at all ages.

 

[CEDmom]

Quite often we have older children or even adults baptized in our church (Episcopal). I think if you believe in the reasons for baptizing him and plan to bring him more regularly when he's able to sit through the service and/or attend Sunday school then by all means do it. However, if you're only doing it to satisfy your family then I'd pass.

 

[flying_babyb]

In my church the word dedication means that you will raise your child as a Christian, to do God's service, and want God's will for your child's life. It doesn't have anything to do with regular church attendance.

DITTO!!! I was baptised as a baby and have been to church mabey 8 times since but I pray, I set aside time for god, nothing wrong with that!

 

[KirstenB]

Do we have the same mom? I have 5 brothers and sisters. My baby brother and his wife just had their second son in February. Their oldest is 6 and it drives my mom crazy that neither child is baptized. She asked me to ask my brother if he wanted his older son baptized along with our baby daughter 1 1/2 years ago. Did I mention we live in Virginia, and he lives in Florida?!!

I told her she was on her own. With baptisms, my feeling is definitely the more the merrier, but the parents shouldn't be coerced into it. Do what your heart tells you. You don't have to make an immediate decision.

 

[tar heel]

Older children are often baptized at our Presbyterian when the family joins. At least a few times a year an adult is baptized. My 7th grader was confirmed last Sunday, and one of the kids in the confirmation class was baptized. The difference was that he presented himself instead of his parents presenting him.

I don't believe Presbyterians do "the dedication thing," though -- it's baptism.

 

[Aidensmom]

Maybe it is different at my church (which is non-denominational), but our dedications is committing to raising the child in the Church, defined as the Christian belief system, not neccessarily committing anything about attendance at a particular church building. So, with that reasoning, I don't see anything adverse about dedicating a child.

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think the age is particularly important, but if you decide to dedicate the child, you should follow through with the promises you'll make on that day: that'll include taking him to church regularly and teaching him the Bible at home. If you don't intend to do these things, then I'd say don't dedicate him. I agree with you that you'd by lying if you dedicate him, knowing that you just aren't interested.

However, you seem to be grasping at straw as to why you aren't attending -- waiting 30 minutes for a nap isn't much of a reason not to attend church. I have the impression that you think you should be going and are looking for reasons not to go.

The main thing is that YOU need to make up your mind. As long as you're wishy-washy about it with the relatives, they're going to keep hounding you.

 

[emma'smom]

I'm Presybterian....and, unless you are planning on raising your children in the church, why bother baptising/dedicating them? If you look at the list of questions that are asked in a Presbyterian baptism, they include asking the congregation if they will support raising your child in the church (and they always say "We will"). However, if you don't plan to be there for this to happen ....then why bother doing this in a church? In the Presbyterian church, baptism isn't a necessity for "being saved", but a statement about parental intentions/beliefs.

When I wanted to have my dd baptized at a little Presbyterian Church near our summer cottage, my minister (who is also my DF) had a to write a letter to the session of that church asking permission and explaining (justifying) why we wanted to have a baptism in a church where we didnt' intend to raise the child. DH and I were in the process of moving from one state to another and we do always attend this church in teh summer (but aren't members there). It is essentially our "home church" during the summer. Anyway, my point is that we had a to have very good reason why we wanted to do this in a church where we weren't active.

We had our second dd baptized in the church we joined once we moved and were settled.

That being said... children (and adults) can be baptized at any age.

 

[crazee4mickey]

I think its perfectly okay......

We don't attend regularly and have had all 4 of our children baptized at our Presbyterian church--my excuse for not attending is a good, legitimate one too!

There is not another Presbyterian church for over 100 miles and there is only one church service a year (now that's my kind of church just kidding!) as it is a small, Scottish country church started by our pioneer ancestors in the middle of the nowhere (aka the prairies) and it is well over 100 years old!

 

[lecach]

However, you seem to be grasping at straw as to why you aren't attending -- waiting 30 minutes for a nap isn't much of a reason not to attend church. I have the impression that you think you should be going and are looking for reasons not to go.

The main thing is that YOU need to make up your mind. As long as you're wishy-washy about it with the relatives, they're going to keep hounding you.

You know we really are confused about what we want. We don't really enjoy going to church - when we go it's more about that we think we should go. Not because we want to be there. While we pray and believe in God we just don't get anything out of church attendance. We WISH we did - but we don't. We had a long discussion about this last night. Wondering if there is something wrong with us - that we don't feel this connection with religion that many people do. We love our minister and we really like the people at the church. So I don't think a different church is the answer.

And as far as the nap thing. Church lets out at 12:30 - by then DS is starving so we have to eat. So he doesn't really get to nap until 1:30. That's makes for a very ill tempered toddler. At daycare he goes down for nap around 11:30 so waiting 2 hours is tough. Of course we could go to the early service but my DH works nights and doesn't get to bed til 3:00 a.m. So early service is hard on him.