Potty training tips for 3 yr old boy

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

Okay my DS has been able to pee in the potty for a while now. We did pull ups and a reward system ( 2 candies for poop one for pee) and that did not work. So we waited a while and tried again. That didn't work. He didn't seem ready. Now since school has been out I have made a chart for "dry all day" and "poop in the potty". In 2 weeks he has had 11 dry all days. Zero poops in the potty. He says and I quote, " Poopy is too hard and slow. Pee pee is fast. You need to have an open mind, mommy." Yeah, he turned 3 in March and suddenly he is giving me advice!

We have told him that if he poops in the potty he can go and pick out a toy. That hasn't worked. Yesterday I bought doughnuts (which I never do so this is quite a treat!) and told him that as soon as he goes poop in the potty he can have a doughnut. That didn't work. I have used a potty seat and sat there and read book after book to him. Nothing has worked.

I don't really want to be cleaning poop out of spiderman underwear at Disney in a little over a month!

What should I do?

 

[Suzanna1973]

My DNephew will be 3 next month. He can pee on the potty. But to go poo poo, he goes into his room, shuts the door and goes in his pull ups.

To prevent this, my sister and I watch him and as soon as he heads for the bedroom door, she grabs him and puts him on the toilet. If he has to really go, he goes on the potty. It's a hit and miss, but we keep trying. The best advice is don't give up!!!

 

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

My son is a stealth pooper also! After all the work yesterday having him sit on the potty and try to poop he ended up holding it in and having a tummy ache. This morning he went into the play room and pooped his pants!

I wanted to add that my dd was potty trained in a week. Just days after her 2nd birthday. She pooped in her undies 1x and was so disgusted that she never did it again. So different this time around!

 

[Suzanna1973]

Oh yeah....Girls are WAY easier to train than boys!!! I have one of each and believe me.... i preferred my DD's easy way than my DS's.

Most boys use the potty to poop a few months after their 3rd birthday. I have potty trained most of my nephews, plus my sister and I own a daycare and are training all of them.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm going to get flamed but so what.

When they know what they are doing and do it on purpose it is defiance and should be dealt with. He knows what he is doing it is wrong and no different than going into the street after you tell him no. Does he know you don't like it? I would tell him he is not a baby and you will not be dealing with poop in a diaper or pants any more. If he does HE will be cleaning it up and he will not be doing anything for "big boys". That playing he wants to get back to because it is too important to loose time going to the potty, well he'll loose a whole lot more cleaning himself and his pants up and changing etc. Babies can't ride bikes, go to the playground, etc. Can't go anywhere good because what if he poops in his pants?

Get rid of the pull-ups, no more oh it's OK-because it's not-and HE does all the clean-up including cleaning poopy pants in the toilet, no big boy activities and I give it less than a week.

 

[belle&beast]

I also had difficulty getting my DS to poop in the potty. We took away pull-ups completely during the day and if he had an accident in his pants, I gave him very little attention for it. He had to clean himself up and had to wash the underwear out by himself in the toilet. Yes, there were times it was a bigger mess for me, but it was worth it. We also bought him the Cars die casts and every time he pooped on the potty he could have one. It took about a week of self cleaning and car rewards and he learned to poop on the potty.

Make sure too that your child is not getting constipated during this process. Sometimes kids will withhold because it is painful to go which can cause all tyoes of future problems. (Believe me, I am living with it with my DD)

 

[Suzanna1973]

3 year old boys are NOT 30 year old men.....they make potty mistakes. If you don't have anything nice to say...keep your opinions to yourself. This lady is looking for advice not criticism.

Hope your perfect life continues the way it seems to be going for you.

 

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

I have pretty thick skin and have "heard it all" from people! I feel like if there is a fear or phobia involved that you need to proceed with caution as to not make it worse. I have not found threatening effective with either of my children. Not that I am against it, it just doesn't work. The big boy talk doesn't seem to have any affect on him eiher. I list all the boys we know who poop in the potty and he just says that's fine but he can't do it.

And yes, he knows that we don't like it. Every time I tell him how dissapointed I am that he did this and that I am not happy. I show him how disgusting it is and he agrees. I also ask him where he was when he went in his pants and show him how easy it would have been to make it to the potty. He wants me to be happy but he can't seem to make this happen.

I think the cars idea might work. If I take him to Target and we buy the cars and sit them in their package in the bathroom maybe that will be some incentive. How many should I buy?

Also, I have been getting advice that he needs a potty chair in the playroom, where he likes to take his poops. I think he is physically too big for that. Has anyone had any success with that? He can remove his pants by himself and he has been taking himself to the potty for a while now without incident. That was actually how we got him to start going pee all the time is letting him do it by himself.

Thanks for the advice and encouragement and even the criticism. Believe me I have thought of it as defiance before, especially when he poops in his pants right after he is on the potty. But I am trying to run a family not a military and I really need to find ways to encourage him to do it, not belittle him for not doing it.

 

[liznboys]

I've trained 3 of my boys so far. All of them were 2.5 and trained in less than one week. I was very clear and direct with what they were to do. I was encouraging and loving yet FIRM. And consistency is key.

 

[Princess Roo]

My mom talks about how difficult my little brother was to train (his favorite topic of conversation at family gatherings! ). She couldn't get the bribes to work and was going nuts trying everything, but what finally worked for him was to take away his favorite toys when he pooped his pants and line them up up high where he could see them but not get to them and he couldn't have them back until he pooped in the potty. He threw an absolute fit, but it only happened ONCE and he was trained! (BTW, back in the 80s, these particular toys were his superman action figures )

I realize this idea is more toward punishment than bribe/reward, but you could also do it with a new toy that he is given for the purpose of training. It takes away the issue of "how many" bribes to purchase, because you can get just one thing that gets taken away/returned multiple times.

 

[belle&beast]

I think the cars idea might work. If I take him to Target and we buy the cars and sit them in their package in the bathroom maybe that will be some incentive. How many should I buy?

When I used them they were really hard to find, so I snatched up as many as I could. I would think if you have 3 as incentive that should be a good start. We praised him like crazy when he went on the potty and let him pick out a car. Pretty soon he was going to the potty all the time to try to go so he could have the next car he wanted. Some days he would get 3 or 4 and others none at all. Once he got the hang of it, we used a chart and if he stayed clean and dry all day, then he got a car. Good luck!!!

 

[wrighter]

Boy can I sypathize!!! I hate to admit it, but my DS just turned 4 and still refuses to poop on the potty. He was otherwise potty trained in three days around his 3rd birthday, but he's been holding out on the poop for about a year. Trust me when I tell you I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!!! I have made charts, developed incentive systems, even had a visit from the "Potty Man," who left wrapped gifts in a basket in the bathroom for whenever he pooped in the potty. Well, those gifts have long since been relocated to our storage room. When I had finally had enough of being "nice," I literally sat there with him in the bathroom for over two hours, while he screamed bloody murder and hit himself. Needless to say, I have decided that is not a route I'm willing to take again. When I took away the pullups altogether he held it for FIVE DAYS! You can't imagine what came out of him by that time. He did this repeatedly to the point where we had to give him an oral laxative and evetually a suppository. Not fun.

I have read, researched and talked with my pediatrician about this issue several times. It is not uncommon, although my DS is certainly on the wrong end of the bell curve. Most authorities agree that when you get one of "these kids," all I can do is wait until he decides to do it on his own. The more I mention it, the longer he will take. It is definitely a power struggle - I admit it. It has taken me a LONG time to come to terms with it, and it isn't fun, but it is what it is, you know? I am not a pushover mom, and my DS is otherwise a very good rule follower - and we have a lot of them! This is just one of those battles that I have chosen not to fight - for all our sakes. I keep hearing that "no kid goes off to kindergarten with diapers on." But I'm not going to count my chickens, if you catch my drift.

He tells me when he has to go, I literally give him the pull-up, he goes in the bathroom, puts it on, does his thing, then we flush it down the toilet, wipe, etc. (Sorry if this is TMI - Just trying to highlight the fact that he does everything else required of him, except put it in the toilet directly!)

I sincerely hope you're able to avoid my fate. Just know that you aren't alone and you're certainly not worse off than the average mother of boys. Especially if they're firstborn boys. Good luck to you!!!

 

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

Okay, I went to Target and he picked out some Cars toys. The original deal with the chart was when he was dry for 10 days he could get a prize. So he chose Mater. then I let him pick out 2 others for "poopy in the potty prizes". They had some Thomas' on clearance so he picked one of those and then a Diego Prince that was on clearance also. I let him have the Mater and put the others on the washer (in the bathroom that he uses). I told him that he can have 1 toy when he poops in the potty. If he pees in his underwear then Mater is going back up on the shelf with the others until he is dry and goes in the potty. We'll see!

BTW if any of you are feeling sorry for my 5 yr old dd, as my family was, we have a reward system for her also. She is learning to read so I made a chart with 60 words on it and when she can read and write 10 she gets a prize. She was up to 15 on the first day so she got to get a prize today too. She's actually 3/4 of the way done with the chart so I let her pick out one big prize for when it is completed instead of 6 small ones.

Who knew that learning to read is easier than pooping in the potty!

 

[Tikicampers]

DS just turned 3 (March as well), and he had the same issue. Please do not listen to the people who are telling you to punish him for pooping in his pants. This is a developmental thing, and I doubt he has much control over it. I could understand if your child was older, but 3 is still within the normal range of potty training. Making kids feel bad about pooping in their pants can make them feel bad about pooping in general. Then they start to hold it in, and you have even worse problems. I've seen this happen, and trust me you don't want to deal with it.
Believe me, I was sick of cleaning poop out of underwear too. DS has been fully trained for about 3 weeks now. He finally started pooping in the potty at, get this, WDW. It truly is the most magical place on earth. We were consistant, we had rewards, but DS was just not ready to make that jump.
I do think the cars idea is good. We used those for another behavior with DS, and it worked like a charm.

 

[jcc0621]

Boy can I sypathize!!! I hate to admit it, but my DS just turned 4 and still refuses to poop on the potty. He was otherwise potty trained in three days around his 3rd birthday, but he's been holding out on the poop for about a year. Trust me when I tell you I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!!! I have made charts, developed incentive systems, even had a visit from the "Potty Man," who left wrapped gifts in a basket in the bathroom for whenever he pooped in the potty. Well, those gifts have long since been relocated to our storage room. When I had finally had enough of being "nice," I literally sat there with him in the bathroom for over two hours, while he screamed bloody murder and hit himself. Needless to say, I have decided that is not a route I'm willing to take again. When I took away the pullups altogether he held it for FIVE DAYS! You can't imagine what came out of him by that time. He did this repeatedly to the point where we had to give him an oral laxative and evetually a suppository. Not fun.

I have read, researched and talked with my pediatrician about this issue several times. It is not uncommon, although my DS is certainly on the wrong end of the bell curve. Most authorities agree that when you get one of "these kids," all I can do is wait until he decides to do it on his own. The more I mention it, the longer he will take. It is definitely a power struggle - I admit it. It has taken me a LONG time to come to terms with it, and it isn't fun, but it is what it is, you know? I am not a pushover mom, and my DS is otherwise a very good rule follower - and we have a lot of them! This is just one of those battles that I have chosen not to fight - for all our sakes. I keep hearing that "no kid goes off to kindergarten with diapers on." But I'm not going to count my chickens, if you catch my drift.

He tells me when he has to go, I literally give him the pull-up, he goes in the bathroom, puts it on, does his thing, then we flush it down the toilet, wipe, etc. (Sorry if this is TMI - Just trying to highlight the fact that he does everything else required of him, except put it in the toilet directly!)

I sincerely hope you're able to avoid my fate. Just know that you aren't alone and you're certainly not worse off than the average mother of boys. Especially if they're firstborn boys. Good luck to you!!!

We are in the same boat. DS will be 4 in September! We are trying the bribe thing now. (He gets 1 quarter for peeing and 2 for pooping) Still get him to poop consistently on the potty though Our peditrician said the same thing as yours. I am really hoping that he will be out of pull ups by August when we go to WDW

Janet

 

[Hannathy]

This is a developmental thing, and I doubt he has much control over it.

When the child can take the time to come to the parent say they have to go,get a pull up and then take the time to go into the bathroom change and then change back it isn't a physical control problem it is another kind of control, not one I'm willing to give a 4 yr old.

 

[Tikicampers]

When the child can take the time to come to the parent say they have to go,get a pull up and then take the time to go into the bathroom change and then change back it isn't a physical control problem it is another kind of control, not one I'm willing to give a 4 yr old.

The poster's child is 3 (although four is still young too). Also, you seem to have misunderstood me. The developmental factor I was talking about is not the ability to control the bowels, but the ability to feel comfortable about it. Many children are uncomfortable when pooping. They feel more secure doing it in pants instead of on the toilet. You cannot force a child to feel comfortable. If you try, you will end up worse off than you started. I don't want to go into details about what happens in that scenario, because neither I nor anyone else who reads the post will feel like eating for a while.

 

[Hannathy]

The poster whose son does what I described is 4. And I'm sorry but 4 is not young to be fully potty trained!

 

[BuzzandAriel'smom]

Hannathy, at what age did you potty train your children and what method did you use?

I have friends who potty train young, at 2 yrs old and some who wait until they are closer to 4. Everyone seems to have a trick and obviously I haven't found what it is for my ds. My dd was so easy!

 

[wrighter]

I believe, Hannathy, that you are responding to my earlier post regarding our issues with our DS4. I agree that 4 is not too young to be completely trained. Indeed, my DDalmost2 is almost trained herself. But I would only ask that you not pass judgement until you have walked a mile in my shoes.

When discussing this issue with DS, he tells me he is scared to poop in the toilet. While I can try to impress upon him that there is nothing to be scared of, it's quite like trying to convince a young child that there are NOT monsters in his closet. For the sake of our whole family, we have decided to take our pediatrician's advice and wait until he decides he is ready. For us, it's not about power, it's about forcing our child to do something he is clearly afraid of.

I do my best to respect all parents in their quest to do what is best for their own children. I only ask that you kindly respect everyone else's attempts to do the same. We're all doing the best we can with what we are given, are we not?