Potty Training Autistic DD...HELP!!!!

[BlondeAlligator]

My DD with Autism will be 4 this summer. We tried training her several times before she was diagnosed & were told to "back off" if it became a battle, which it always did. Now I have finally gotten her to sit on the potty without fear & screaming, but now what? People keep telling me "it'll just happen", but I am looking for some specific help that I can't seem to find anywhere else. Do I just let her sit there until she pees (this could take hours & might destroy her patience & willingness to sit on the potty at all) or do I just let her pee in her pants & try to get her to the potty when she does? Previously she didn't seem to care if she was wet. I am at my wits end...she starts full-day pre-school through the special ed program in our school district this Fall...I know they will work on this with her, but I'd love to make some progress before then.

If anyone has dealt with this & has some specific info. on how they did it, I would be forever grateful...

Allison

 

[SueM in MN]

Previously she didn't seem to care if she was wet.

Does that mean she does now?
If she does, you have a place to build from.
I don't have time for much this morning, but here goes a quick suggestion.
Has she seen anyone else use the toilet? If not, this is the time for modesty to be put on hold for a few minutes. She could be sitting there not knowing what it is that you expect her to do there. As far as she is concerned, the sitting there part may be all she thinks she is supposed to do.

So, my suggestion (after you have shown her what you want) would be to have her sit there for a short time (maybe 10 minutes). If nothing happens, point out to her that she did not go, but can try again later. Then come back 15-20 minutes later and try again.

I know I saw some (for want of better word) "toilet dolls" in the past. I think they had an "Elmo go Potty" at one time. Those kind of dolls are helpful for some kids (especailly if it's a favorite character). You feed them water, set them on the little potty and then they go.

 

[3kidsmommy]

To potty train my now 8 year old ds with autism (and he still isn't ALL the way trained--day and night) we got on a schedule. We would take him to the potty every hour to start out with. We always let him follow us in to see what we were doing. Finally, I watched him close for signs he might need to go. Eventually it kicked in, but I still have to watch him and TELL him to go because he never feels the need to go. He also doesn't seem to notice if he is wet until I point it out. GOOD LUCK!

 

[minkydog]

We have had Christian on a trip-training program since he was 5. He is so low-functioning that, honestly, it never occured to me to try to potty train him. Bad mommy.

Christian is 11 now, having been on the "train" for 6yrs. He responds better at school than at home, but he is about 90% urine trained and 100% stool trained. He wears a pull-up diaper. We have him on a schedule and we remind him at intervals("Do you need to go bathroom?" He always indicates "yes")

Finding the right rewards took some time. Finally the teacher hit on the right ones--water. Specifically, flushing but we have uses hand-washing as a reward, too.

Autisic kids feel most secure with rules and boundaries. If you want to start trip-training, try putting him on a 2hr train. Let him sit on the potty for 10 minutes(We use a seatbelt to keep him there). Put a wad of TP between his legs so you know if he goes--and praise like nobody's business when he does! Then reward!

It will take time, but the school will help. We've been there--I thought my son's teacher was crazy when she brought it up. But it has been a God-send to have him trained, even if he isn't 100%. One less diaper to change, ya know. Good luck!

 

[Gillian]

Although my daughter is not autistic, she is prone to temper tantrums and wanted nothing to do with training so we also backed off. She really didn't understand anything about going on the potty, and also didn't care if she was wet. She's 3 and has to be trained before she starts regular preschool in the fall. I know it's not the same, but I can somewhat relate to your time pressures.

Last week I read Toilet Training in Less than a Day and tried some of the concepts. After 2 hours she went twice on the potty and now understands what she is trying to do (for urine at least)! She still does not know when she has to go, but understands when she has gone and tells us.

First I showed her what to do with a doll, then we practiced with training pants up and down. I made special pink juice (cranberry/grape/water) in a pretty jug that she was excited to drink and let her eat chips so she drank A LOT! She sat for 10 minutes every so often and went twice that way while staying dry in between. I found I needed to leave the room or ignore her for her to go. And no tv while on the potty.

I didn't follow the whole system, so I can't really comment much, but it was very helpful to us so far in that she is starting to understand what's going on. I am planning to work with her all of next week. You can probably get it from your library. It's an interesting read, if nothing else!

 

[BlondeAlligator]

Thanks for all the advice, everyone.

To answer some of your questions...

I don't know yet if she'll mind being wet this time around. My intention was to start training again while she was on break between her regular school year & extended school year, but we all got really sick & it just wasn't the right time. She started school this week but is off on Fridays so I thought that I would start this Friday & that would give me a full 3 days with her in panties before I sent her back to school in a pull up.

She has always been allowed in the bathroom with me & I have been very open about showing her what I'm there for. We have also tried using the wetting doll, but she really has no interest in dolls so it's hard to get her to pay attention. Elmo freaks her out, so no go on that potty toy. I finally found a video that she loves (Potty Power) with real kids in it & I think that's going to help us a lot, but I have been holding back on letting her watch it so that she doesn't burn out on it. I'll pull that out big time this weekend. If only they made a peeing Nemo or Dora doll, I'd be in business!

It sounds like the thing to do is put her on a potty schedule, but not let her sit there for a long time waiting for it to happen; 10 minutes seems like a good suggestion. We have started using a kitchen timer in her therapy sessions so that should work here, too to help her stay put. I'll have to think about the rewards I should use.

One other question...how did you handle accidents? I have read in the books that making them clean it up works, but I just don't see that happening with an Autistic child...she wouldn't get it. I have also read that you should ignore it until they come & tell you that they are wet & uncomfortable, but if she still doesn't care about the wetness she'll just keep on playing with wet pants & stamp her little pee-pee butt all over the house. I don't want to make her feel bad about it, but at the same time, if I just swoop in and clean it up, it seems to me that she won't learn that it's not OK to pee her pants anymore. What did you guys do? I know we won't have pee in the potty anytime real soon here...

Again, thank you so much for all of your input...this is exactly the kind of help I was looking for. You guys are great!

Allison

 

[minkydog]

Well, with Christian he couldn't care less if his diaper had 12lbs of urine in it It can be round as a bowling ball and he's still happy as a clam. Since he really doesn't understand reasoning (you know that cartoon with the dog and the owner is fussing at the dog, but all the dog hears is "blahblahblah,bad dog,blahblah"?) we just calmly point out that he's wet and take him for a quick change. Then we say, "Nice, dry diaper feels good!"

Dirty diapers *do* bother him and if he has the chance he'll do his best to take off the diaper and clean off the poop(you don't want to know ) Therefore we have learned to put him on the potty especially after meals and before bath and he has learned that it's time to poop at those times.And of course we praise like he just pooped solid gold! We have occasional accidents and I try to be matter-of-fact about it(DH just about blows a gasket,though )

This might not be a overnight sensation so hang in there. When it *clicks* it will be a beautiful thing!

 

[GretchGraham]

I have an 8 year old daughter with autism (low-functioning) and she still has accidents sometimes, but is mostly trained. Once she began to notice she was wet (didn't care, but noticed) and once we felt she had enough control to potty train, we began to schedule her. We started at 45 minute intervals and built up to 2 hour intervals. Now we do not remind her at all. However, when we travel, we will put a pull up on her as she is non-verbal and it is hard for her in unfamilar surroundings. Normally, she does not have accidents, even when we travel, but I don't want her to be stressed about it.

Here is the part where I feel like a terrible mother. I just chalked it up to "tough love". When she would have accidents, we followed a "positive practice" procedure. This involved her cleaning up the accident (hand over hand mostly), then we would take her to the potty and say "you tee-tee on the potty, not on the floor". Then we would have her take her wash her hands. We would repeat this procedure three times in a row and usually by the third time, she would be screaming. This is why I made absolutely sure she had bladder/bowel control and enough body awareness (I consulted with her OT, PT and behavioral therapists) prior to starting this. It was gut wrenching listening to her cry, but she began to get the idea that it was a much bigger inconvenience to wet her pants than it was to go to the potty. Before, she didn't really care because I cleaned her and the mess. It took about six very long weeks, but she got it.

This is the element of her therapy I feel most guilty about, but the experts were right and it did work. And she doesn't have any lingering issues or hatred towards the potty (or me, Thank God).

 

[Nik's Mom]

Hi! I'm a Mom of an autistic ds (now 7 years old) and a 4 year old with SID. Both had trouble getting the potty thing down. Here's what I did. First, I made sure we were home for the entire week. We trained in the summer, so I put the boys in real underwear, and nothing else. I went to the 99 cent store and bought underwear from there (styles from movies that came out a couple of years ago, but who cares). I would put them on the potty once an hour. If they had an accident, I would bump it up to every 30 minutes. If it was a poop accident, the underwear just got tossed out (the beauty of the 99 cent store).

If there was an accident, I'd just mention to the boys that they didn't make it, but we would try again next time. I made it a positive experience. Well, in both cases the boys were trained within 3 days!

Hang in there. Keep us posted on the progress!

 

[SueM in MN]

Another thing I know people have done (and we have done too) was put pullups over cloth underpants. That way, you don't have to worry about little "pee stamps" all over everything and the child will still feel the wet underpants against their skin.

 

[BlondeAlligator]

Another thing I know people have done (and we have done too) was put pullups over cloth underpants. That way, you don't have to worry about little "pee stamps" all over everything and the child will still feel the wet underpants against their skin.

Ooooo...that is SUCH a great idea! I'll have to give that a try!

I really appreciate all of the advice & support you all have given me! I will keep you posted as to our progress. Here's a big to all of you and your very precious kiddos!

Thanks!

Allison