no, it's ok...He was born with severe scolosis of the spine. Which we didnt' know in utero - I had one u/s at 20 weeks & dr didn't see anything (moron). The scolosis was so severe that it not only curved, but twisted his spine, which then protruded his lungs. So his lungs grew weird, they were only at 70% oxygen capacity. They really thought he was going to live, be on a ventilator his entire life, but live none the less. Well his lungs kept filling up with fluid & they kept draining them over & over again. finally mike said he's had enough & made them take him off all the machines, & let him sit & hold him. It took only about 20 minutes to him to pass. At first I was so mad at mike for doing what he did, but now in retrospect, its ok, I know my son is happy and not in pain. What kind of life would he have had? How would that have changed Casey's life...she was only 4? Yes I still wish every day that he was here, but not like that. After 8 1/2 very long years I'm ok with the way life has turned out. I really did become a completely different person after he died, for the better I think.
thanks for asking Mich -
sorry if it's a huge downer for everyone! Please don't let it be. Patrick taught me more about life in 36 1/2 hours than I would have ever learned all on my own. It's ok really