PMS in a Handbasket--Don't be afraid, just bring us food... Part 2a

[disneymom3]

Steph--you are making me appreciate my own boys!!! Of course, I am the mother of the 6 yo who recently asked me very loudly "Why is that lady so hairy and ugly?" Ummm, because "she" is a man with long hair. And he looks like he could take Daddy out with one hand so BE QUIET!!!

 

[tevagirl]

You and your oooey gooey oh so good but oh so bad for you pizza...

I thought you were talking about the oooey gooey hamster.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Steph--you are making me appreciate my own boys!!! Of course, I am the mother of the 6 yo who recently asked me very loudly "Why is that lady so hairy and ugly?" Ummm, because "she" is a man with long hair. And he looks like he could take Daddy out with one hand so BE QUIET!!!

That is freakin' funny! You gotta love boys!

 

[disneymom3]

That is freakin' funny! You gotta love boys!

Well, it is much funnier in retrospect trust me!! I just found my boys using their water bottles to "decorate" the basement steps. Thankfully our basement is unfinished! When I got mad, they looked at me like I had a screw loose. Their explanation was, "Well, we weren't thirsty anymore." Sheesh. The scary thing is that to them, there is a logical connection there!

 

[redshoes]

Hey, what did I miss?

 

[L107ANGEL]

OMG!!! I could have written that exact post!! Family too.
"THIS IS NOT A BILL" It never changes. My favorite line to give was "does it have a return envelope with it? Does it have a due date? Does it say how much is due? THEN ITS NOT A BILL!!!"
Yup, p/l & c/l too. Old people!!!

My most frustrating thing, people telling me they got a bill, when really what they got was an amendment to their policy....or trying to figure out what they received. I wanted to say "hold it up to the phone so I can see it" because you can't read.

OMG Splash, I have wanted to write a book for years!!!!
How about this one? I get a call for an auto quote. Basics are needed to begin! Name, DOB, marital status, andy accident or violations in the past 3 years. BASIC questions you should know!!!!!!!!!
Here is one real conversation: I will be M and caller will be C.
M Name
C Bob
M Last name
C still just Smith
M chuckles
C whats so funny I am not a chick where the last name can change
M Sorry Sir, just a tickle in my throat. Are you single or married?
C uhm, I don't know how to answer that
M well, let me ask you this, if a lady in your life knew what you just said and wanted to hit you but she can't take you to court to get half, you may be single.
M cool! Single, I like you!

This is like one part and I don't want to bore you all.

 

[tevagirl]

Steph--you are making me appreciate my own boys!!! Of course, I am the mother of the 6 yo who recently asked me very loudly "Why is that lady so hairy and ugly?" Ummm, because "she" is a man with long hair. And he looks like he could take Daddy out with one hand so BE QUIET!!!

This one brings back memories!

When my dd was little ( a looong time ago) I was standing in line at the unemployment office ( ) and there was this little, really short, really tiny, old wrinkled lady with frizzed out hair down to her knees at the front of the line. We were at the back of the line and my dd kept leaning out to look at this lady. I kept taking her by the hand and pulling her back by my side, praying the whole time that my dd wouldn't say anything. Apparently God wasn't listening or was in a mischievous mood that morning. About the fourth time dd leaned out to check out the lady she asked me very incredulously (and not very quietly) "Mommy, is that a MONKEY??" Every single person in the unemployment office (about 6 lines worth) turned and looked at me. Next time I went I bought duct tape.

 

[redshoes]

. But these little hell spawn are my moon and stars!

Do you think we could talk Hallmark into putting that phrase on Mother's Day card, shirts etc.. I'm thinking things like: #1 Mom to little hell spawn or My hell spawn love me, or my kids might be hell spawn but they are hell spawn that made the honor roll.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Do you think we could talk Hallmark into putting that phrase on Mother's Day card, shirts etc.. I'm thinking things like: #1 Mom to little hell spawn or My hell spawn love me, or my kids might be hell spawn but they are hell spawn that made the honor roll.

That's a great idea! I love it! There is definitely money to be made there!

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Hey, what did I miss?

Since you've been gone:

Shugar has a psychotic witch of a PT.

L107Angel doesn't like to be yelled at, and has worked in insurance 10.5 years. Not to be confused with this thread, which has not been going on for 10.5 years. She also hates it when people ask stupid questions.

Phorsenuf has a kitty that is becoming as popular as Ash's beaver.

Briarmom had to forfeit t-ball because of rain.

Splshmtn99 is missing an A in her name and we'd like to know where it is. She also canceled her gyn appt today and was happy to join the PMS thread.

Tigger&Belle promised Splsh that we wouldn't make her spread eagle. I'm sure Splsh appreciated that.

Bbgrizzle received Horndoggie today from Shugar.

BigMerle prefers that you use her voicemail to leave a message. She's not there, quit calling and hanging up. She also likes hard liquor.

Tigger&Belle said nobody wants to see her drunk at the pub. Note to Tig: OH YEAH WE DO!!!

Chrisnsteph has hellspawn for children.

Ash is hungry.

Phoresenuf ordered pizza. Phoresnuf is the devil.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

This one brings back memories!

When my dd was little ( a looong time ago) I was standing in line at the unemployment office ( ) and there was this little, really short, really tiny, old wrinkled lady with frizzed out hair down to her knees at the front of the line. We were at the back of the line and my dd kept leaning out to look at this lady. I kept taking her by the hand and pulling her back by my side, praying the whole time that my dd wouldn't say anything. Apparently God wasn't listening or was in a mischievous mood that morning. About the fourth time dd leaned out to check out the lady she asked me very incredulously (and not very quietly) "Mommy, is that a MONKEY??" Every single person in the unemployment office (about 6 lines worth) turned and looked at me. Next time I went I bought duct tape.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Since you've been gone:

Shugar has a psychotic witch of a PT.

L107Angel doesn't like to be yelled at, and has worked in insurance 10.5 years. Not to be confused with this thread, which has not been going on for 10.5 years. She also hates it when people ask stupid questions.

Phorsenuf has a kitty that is becoming as popular as Ash's beaver.

Briarmom had to forfeit t-ball because of rain.

Splshmtn99 is missing an A in her name and we'd like to know where it is. She also canceled her gyn appt today and was happy to join the PMS thread.

Tigger&Belle promised Splsh that we wouldn't make her spread eagle. I'm sure Splsh appreciated that.

Bbgrizzle received Horndoggie today from Shugar.

BigMerle prefers that you use her voicemail to leave a message. She's not there, quit calling and hanging up. She also likes hard liquor.

Tigger&Belle said nobody wants to see her drunk at the pub. Note to Tig: OH YEAH WE DO!!!

Chrisnsteph has hellspawn for children.

Ash is hungry.

Phoresenuf ordered pizza. Phoresnuf is the devil.

Holy Hell Steph

 

[SplshMtn99]

Do I have to take notes on this thread? I didn't know there was gonna be a test.

Steph gets an A......and it's not mine since I still can't find mine.

Oh....and off to learn about glitter. I didn't know there were guys here too.

 

[phorsenuf]

Do I have to take notes on this thread? I didn't know there was gonna be a test.

Steph gets an A......and it's not mine since I still can't find mine.

Oh....and off to learn about glitter. I didn't know there were guys here too.

Here's the deal with the glitter

All That Glitters Is Not Bold


Legend: A woman mistakenly uses her daughter's glitter spray instead of feminine deodorant in preparation for a visit to the gynecologist.

Examples: [Collected on the Internet, 1995]

This woman left work early to have her yearly OB-GYN appointment. She went home to shower and shave. After her shower she thought some feminine deodorant spray might be nice, but she didn't have any. So she went into her teenage daughter's bathroom, looked in the cabinet, found the can and "freshened up."

She went into the doctor's office and put her legs in the stirrups with the sheet over her. The doctor comes in and peeks under the sheet and says, "Hmm — Fancy." She thought the comment was odd, but didn't think much of it.

That night she said to her daughter, "I hope you don't mind, but I used some of your feminine spray today." Her daughter looked at her and replied, "Mom, I don't have any feminine spray." "Yes, you do. It's in the cabinet," the mother said. "Okay, Mom, come show me." So the two went into the daughter's bathroom. The mother grabbed a can and said, "Here it is." The daughter said, "Mom, that's spray glitter."

Origins: The "glittery mom" story has been circulating on the Internet at least since 1994. In an updated 1997 version, the sparkly stuff is transferred to the older woman by way of her using her daughter's washcloth, not realizing the girl had been using it to remove glitter makeup. Feminine deodorant spray or washcloth, it's the same tale with but a small detail changed.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Do I have to take notes on this thread? I didn't know there was gonna be a test.

Steph gets an A......and it's not mine since I still can't find mine.

Oh....and off to learn about glitter. I didn't know there were guys here too.

Holy crap, I'm laughing so hard over the last couple pages I have tears running down my face!

You've never heard the glitter/gyn story? Somebody here must have it. If not, I bet a general DIS plea will make someone cough it up. Hmmm, that didn't sound quite right.

Oh, I now see that 4's has it!

Steph, my devel spawn would love to meet yours! Loved your cliff notes! Trust me--I don't have to drink...I'm this way sober!

 

[SplshMtn99]

LOL, when I've learned something new again.

We don't have to worry about glitter. I have none....and no kids, so no teen daughter.

Oh wait..... I better make sure DH doesn't have any.
Nope, I'm safe!

PS --- I led a sheltered life i guess ...but got a MIGHTY education at my last job. Boy, the stuff we used to talk about.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Since you've been gone:Bbgrizzle received Horndoggie today from Shugar.

Just to clarify, this is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Just to clarify, this is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds

Splsh, keep in mind, last week Shug wanted to have a gay guy's baby!

 

[SplshMtn99]

LOL --thanks for the cliff notes. I'll catch up eventually. I probably should have done some reading, instead of just jumping in at the end like i did.

So Shugs, you wanted to have a gay guys baby? Thats sounds a little hard. Oh wait, no, not hard at all. That was the problem, wasn't it?

So sorry for your disappointment.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

Just to clarify, this is nowhere near as interesting as it sounds

Yes it is!