Please pray for our home to be built quickly - my inlaws are poison!!

[SaraJayne]

I was wondering if the IL's are aware you're building a house and moving shortly?

I'm also wondering with the abundance of homes for sale in the Orlando area (very reasonably priced (I like to check out houses in the area )), why in the world are they building?

Building can take months and sometimes a year or more. If the situation is that bad (according to OP), buy a like new house that's available right now.

 

[Swan4Me]

I have an idea. I have nothing better to do with my time so I'll go through all the posts on this forum, picking apart every detail and coming up with the worst possible embellishments to add to them myself. Nothing good on tv so I'll invent my own drama.

Are you the DH of the OP? Is that why you joined to post ?

 

[luvsJack]

Are you the DH of the OP? Is that why you joined to post ?

If it is, he has every right in the world to join just like you did. And he isn't too far off base on what he said. Everyone is taking what she said and imagining a whole lot more and then acting like its the truth instead of their assumptions.

 

[marie1203]

WOW I would have been out of their house and them out of our lives! I am not the confrontation type but if MIL ruin my personal property or threaten to kill one of my animals she would be out on the street with her bags faster than I can say get out! What a nut case. Even thought they own the house you still have some tenant laws so don't let them bully you.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have an idea. I have nothing better to do with my time so I'll go through all the posts on this forum, picking apart every detail and coming up with the worst possible embellishments to add to them myself. Nothing good on tv so I'll invent my own drama.

Welcome. I see you've done the same.

 

[North of Mouse]

So until its convenient you will mooch off your inlaws move out and refuse to have anything to do with them, are you and your husband mature enough to be married? That is such an immature reaction they have let you live in their home and this is the way you thank them? If there behaviour is so bad move out now, but to slag them off while expecting them to home you.

No, what's immature is most of the posts on here attacking the OP . I have known in-laws like that (not mine) and enough gets to be enough. Have you ever lived on a 12 acre farm and taken care of animals? If not, you have no right to say they are living "rent-free"! I was raised on a farm - animals are work (the in-laws are getting their care for free) so usually caretakers of small farms DO NOT have to pay rent, they are EARNING their rent - even without the care of the animals, an empty home goes down fast, open to vandalism, and almost impossible to insure. So some of you people get off your "high-horse" and show a little sympathy for the OP. Venting is what a lot of people do on these boards - helps to relieve tension - so quit attacking. Sorry OP, I get you, hope you have better days ahead. But, one thing, I beg of you not to do, don't break all ties with your DH's parents. Yes, they are wrong, but you will have to live with that decision when they are long gone. Set very "firm" limits, but bite your lip, and don't cut them out completely - show you are the "much" nicer people and you WILL eventually feel better about yourselves. When you are in your own home, you can set the rules of visits and I guarantee they will probably be short, because they can't bully you then (if not, YOU can set the time) But, at least, you will be the stronger and nicer people in the long run. They will find out soon enough your worth when they need someone else to care for the farm AND take abuse from them by checking in unannounced - it won't last. My best to you and DH.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I haven't seen anyone "attack" the OP.

 

[punkin]

I haven't seen anyone "attack" the OP.

people have accused her of being a hoarder and an ingrate, amongst other things.

 

[SaraJayne]

No, what's immature is most of the posts on here attacking the OP . I have known in-laws like that (not mine) and enough gets to be enough. Have you ever lived on a 12 acre farm and taken care of animals? If not, you have no right to say they are living "rent-free"! I was raised on a farm - animals are work (the in-laws are getting their care for free) so usually caretakers of small farms DO NOT have to pay rent, they are EARNING their rent - even without the care of the animals, an empty home goes down fast, open to vandalism, and almost impossible to insure. So some of you people get off your "high-horse" and show a little sympathy for the OP. Venting is what a lot of people do on these boards - helps to relieve tension - so quit attacking. Sorry OP, I get you, hope you have better days ahead. But, one thing, I beg of you not to do, don't break all ties with your DH's parents. Yes, they are wrong, but you will have to live with that decision when they are long gone. Set very "firm" limits, but bite your lip, and don't cut them out completely - show you are the "much" nicer people and you WILL eventually feel better about yourselves. When you are in your own home, you can set the rules of visits and I guarantee they will probably be short, because they can't bully you then (if not, YOU can set the time) But, at least, you will be the stronger and nicer people in the long run. They will find out soon enough your worth when they need someone else to care for the farm AND take abuse from them by checking in unannounced - it won't last. My best to you and DH.

As has been pointed out over and over in the past, disagreeing is not attacking.

 

[North of Mouse]

As has been pointed out over and over in the past, disagreeing is not attacking.

What has been said, was accused of (filthy housekeeper, stay home and you might have time to clean house, hoarder, smelly cats, etc., etc.) sounds like a lot more to me than just disagreeing. It's making up stuff to try to make the OP out to be a sponger and worse. You may not call it that, but would you like those things said about you if they were not true? There was nothing in the OP's post to indicate she deserved such unfounded name calling.

 

[Disney Doll]

OK, I'm just missing it. I don't see ANYWHERE in the OP where the IL have used "it's our house" as an excuse to barge in. My feeling is it doesn't matter WHERE the OP lives, the IL will act the same way.

It also sounds like the IL live quite a bit away so it's not like they're coming over every weekend.

The in-laws own the house. Therefore it is their house. Consequently, the OP can't keep them out...landlords have a certain amount of rights to be able to access their property, and these folks being the OP's in-laws probably think they can take more liberties because they are "family". Andfrom the sound of the in-laws, I can hear them saying "This is our house you're living in" if the OP and her DH tried to set some boundaries in terms of visiting and behavior.

Hence the reason I recommend living somewhere that the in-laws have no "say" in. The problem is solved.

 

[Disney Doll]

I never said the IL were in the right. I agree they should have knocked. I agree they should have been quiet.

What I disagree with is the assumption the IL feel since they own the house, they're entitled to show up whenever they want. That feeling will continue regardless of whether the IL own the house or not. They showed up at the OP's sister's house unannounced, right? Do they own that house? So why do people think moving out will solve the problem? Barring not telling them where you move to, they'll pull the same thing.

ETA: I went back and read the OP. MIL called DH about an hour before they showed up. Yes, it was short notice, but it wasn't "no notice". Did he ask how far away they were? Did he tell them he was working? Did he ask them to be quiet coming in? I think this is a discussion the OP needs to have with DH on whether he's willing to set boundaries to his parents.

If they show up to a house they don't own, you don't have to let them in.

 

[Wadecool]

I have an idea. I have nothing better to do with my time so I'll go through all the posts on this forum, picking apart every detail and coming up with the worst possible embellishments to add to them myself. Nothing good on tv so I'll invent my own drama.

Leading by example, are we?

 

[Wadecool]

1) Don't be silly, we're not hoarders, the cat boxes are clean and it doesn't even smell in here - not really a convincing argument that it's not a hoarders situation.

2) However - I don't generally understand the goat situation. I mean... what're you going to do when the house is built? Take the goats? Just take that goat? If the inlaws are mostly concerned about having someone stay because of the goats, I think they'd want the goats. Also think they'd find someone else to stay would that you left, so someone would be there to care for the goats.

1) I totally agree with this and will even add another layer. If you watch the tv show Hoarders, the vast majority of those folks are adamant that they do not have a hoarding problem, while standing knee deep in filth. The point being: hoarders are not very well suited to assess their own condition.

2) I don't remember if the OP mentioned it, but if she is moving to a subdivision I cannot imagine any self respecting homeowners association allowing farm animals. Heck, my HOA even has regulations concerning our landscaping.